Of course, normal was relative.
To many, I was the exact opposite of normal. Especially when I was in the middle of a project.
Not even Declan had seen me like that. Only Shay knew what I was like.
The thought had me pursing my lips, wondering how Declan would react, then deciding not to worry about that now, I murmured, “It’s me, Mom.”
Silence fell. “Aela?” she asked hesitantly.
Did she have some other kids she hadn’t seen in over a decade?
Rather than be difficult, I just said, “Yes.”
The buzzer sounded, and I knew that meant Dad wasn’t home. I was pleased about that. I had no real desire to see him, but Mom was different. I’d like to reconnect.
George pushed the door and stepped in front of me. He placed his hand on his weapon, then peered around here and there, guiding me down to the elevator doors. As they opened, he tensed, but it was empty.
Climbing aboard, we shuttled toward my family home, and I let him step out first before I finally made my way to my old front door.
She was standing there, waiting on me, looking frail and a lot older than I’d expected. We hadn’t kept in touch much, mostly because she was out of it and had an odd perception of the passage of time. I understood that though—when I was in one of my moods, I shared that trait.
Mom opened her arms to me though, and biting my lip, I walked straight into her embrace.
She hugged me tight, far tighter than I’d ever imagined, which made me realize she’d missed me, and I burrowed into her right back.
“Been too long, Aela,” she chided, squeezing me with each word.
“Yeah, it has, Mom. I’m back now though.”
She grew tense at that, then edged away from me to look at me. I was taller than her now—when had that happened? We shared the same features, delicate but somehow bold with our strong eyebrows and high cheekbones, our eyes were faintly inset, but they were richly hued, as was our hair, although hers was more streaked than when I’d been a kid which told me it was salon dyed. I could easily remember her doing her own hair and always messing up.
My lips twitched at the memory.
“Your son’s here?” She peered around me into the hall, then jerked in surprise to see George. While he was young, he wasn’t that young.
“That’s my new guard,” I explained. “Seamus isn’t here. I didn’t bring him this time. I didn’t expect to visit, to be honest. We were driving past and I just thought I’d come see you.”
She squeezed my hands, but her gaze remained on George. “You have a guard.”
“I do.”
Mary glanced up at me. “He’s claimed you?”
I dipped my chin. “He’s in the process of it.”
Her eyes cleared for a second. “The shooting. Of course. Bad business. Bad business. Your father almost got his last week. The Italians are crazy, running around like something from an action movie. Uncaring if innocent people get hit.” She grunted. “Animals.”
We weren’t exactly well behaved, well-modulated examples of humanity.
“I can’t stay, Mom,” I told her. “I just wanted to come see you.”
“You can’t stay for coffee?” she asked, and her disappointment was actually a salve.
“No. Not today. But another time, I’d really like that.”
She smiled at me, the smile reflected in her eyes as she reached up and touched my chin, letting her fingers slip over my cheek as if she was ‘seeing’ me with her hands. “Come whenever, and bring Seamus. I want to get to know him.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her she could have known him for years, but there was no point in being bitter about this. No point at all.
I nodded. “Will do. Dad still spending his nights at the Tavern?”
“Yes.” There was no disapproval in either of our voices. “If you come before eight in the evening, and after ten in the morning, you’ll be able to avoid him.”
“Good to know.” I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too,” she replied, and I realized she sounded surprised, but I got it. Not that she missed me, but that she felt anything at all.
She’d been in a doped-up haze for decades, and my father didn’t really give enough of a damn about her to try to help her. I’d always felt bad for leaving her with him, but when it had come time for me to admit I was pregnant and that I needed help, she’d just aided me in getting out of the country. Had never offered to come visit, had never helped with her parents who’d always disapproved, but believed too much in family bonds to ever throw me out onto the streets.
Bitterness welled in me, but I tossed it out like I was throwing out so much at the moment. I could hold onto it, keep it close to my chest, or I could move on.
I was deciding to be an adult.
If Declan didn’t hold a grudge against me, then I decided that I could woman up too and be a bigger person.
“I’ll see you soon,” I told her, reaching for her hand and squeezing again, before I pulled back and retreated to the elevator.
I hadn’t expected to see her today, hadn’t thought to visit since I’d made it back to the city which I knew was pretty horrible of me, but as I stared out of the elevator, her gaze was glued to mine until the doors closed.
There was regret in hers, a regret that I knew came from everything she’d missed out on, and the sight of it made me feel better. Made me feel like there was something to work with rather than just batting my head against a brick wall.
My life was coming together in pieces I’d never have expected because, even though I’d spent every day wondering if that day would be when Declan learned of Seamus, I’d never really thought about the aftermath. Had just thought about the main event.
Nothing was going down as I’d anticipated.
I’d thought he’d hate me, had thought he’d make my life miserable, and I had a feeling that, in different circumstances, he would have.
He’d have detested me for denying him Seamus, would have taken pleasure in making me miserable, in sucking all the joy out of my life and making me live as a shadow of my former self.
But he’d been shot and as horrible as it was, I thought the next time we went to church—because that was in the cards, and that was another culture shock for Seamus that was heading our way—I’d give my thanks to the Almighty for the gift of those bullets because Declan had almost died, and that changed a man’s perspective.
Which, in my predicament, couldn’t have happened at a better time.
DECLAN
The ride to our parents’ compound took place in relative silence, especially since I was thinking about everything there was to discuss, but sometimes, with Da, there was no point in discussing beforehand and getting your story straight. He always knew.
Like a shark scenting blood, he knew how to drag out the information he wanted.
A part of me was still bewildered that, all these years later, he hadn’t figured it out sooner. Pulling the wool over his eyes was close to impossible but, somehow, I’d done it when I was a dumb kid, dicking around with a bunch of other dumb kids.
As it stood, he wasn’t aware I was being blackmailed, or that we were looking for a blackmailer, and because Conor made it a habit of keeping Da in the dark with his IT exploits, I wasn’t worried, not really, about him having given me away.
Conor had been right though. If ever there was a time for Da to find out that I’d lied, it was now. But that didn’t mean I was eager for the truth to be revealed.
I’d made a lot of mistakes along the way and had paid dearly for them. My son was a stranger to me, one I was slowly coming to know, but still a stranger. And Aela, while anything but foreign to me, was a delight I couldn’t believe I’d had to live without for so many fucking years.
Regret hung heavy on my heart, and I knew it changed me. Whether it was for the better or for the worse, I couldn’t say. Maybe I wouldn’t be abl
e to. Maybe it was my family who’d see the difference.
“You’re quiet.”
I cast a look at my elder brother. “Got a lot to think about.”
“I’ll bet. Wish you’d told me before,” he said gruffly. “Always did hate it when you kept things from me.”
A short laugh escaped me. “If I’d gotten you involved back then, you’d be as fucked as I am now.”
“Da’ll punish us, but he ain’t gonna kill us,” Brennan groused. “Ma would never let him.”
I loved that he qualified that, loved that he knew he had to.
Da wasn’t the most rational of men, and he had episodes where he went a little batshit crazy. The only constant that kept him sane was Ma.
Of course, that sounded insane. A person wasn’t lithium. They couldn’t take a goddamn personality disorder and even them out, but Magdalena O’Donnelly was Aidan O’Donnelly’s miracle.
We all knew it.
All knew to dread a day where she died and he stayed around without her.
If God really did exist, and my father believed more than most, then He’d take Da out first, then her.
Not that I liked to think about them dying, but sometimes, in our world, death was a conversation that was forever on the tip of the tongue when compared with most folk.
Not a year went by where some shit stunt like what had happened to me didn’t befall one of us. Then there were the guys around us. Rogan, the man Brennan and Eoghan had set onto Aela at first, was Ma’s favorite guard. He was dead now, and there was no coming back. Not unless he was the next coming of Jesus, and I highly doubted God was capable of that level of mischief. Sending back His son as a hired gun? Highly unlikely.
“Do you think it’s Cillian?” Brennan asked when I didn’t reply to his earlier comment about Ma.
“No. I don’t. I think someone stole his identity, I’m just not sure why they would.”
“I think you like to make shit complicated.”
My lips quirked. “Maybe. I’d prefer things to be simpler though.”
“Declan, you and simple ain’t never been friends.”
I heaved a sigh. “I hate to agree with you, but you’re not entirely wrong.”
“Was he mad about Deirdre?”
“What do you think?” I rumbled. “He’d told her everything so she could trap me, and I don’t think he did it because he thought we were Romeo and Juliet. He wanted her to surge through the ranks and so did she.”
Brennan whistled. “I knew you hated her, could never figure out why you were with her, but I have to give you credit, bro. There’s a reason why Da never realized what went down that day. You’re a fucking good actor.”
“Is that your idea of a compliment?”
“Better than calling you a good liar, no? Thought I was pulling my punches.”
“I’d stab another man for calling me a liar,” I grumbled.
“You can’t stab shit at the minute. I saw you in the parking garage. You looked like I could push you over with my pinkie.”
I flipped him the bird as we rolled to a halt outside my parents’ compound.
The house was completely unlike the old mansion where my folks had lived which, to be honest, had been a damn sight handier. Closer to the city, not so far away from my place, and bigger too, but they liked it here, and it was safer for them.
No matter what we did, the enemies came at us like rats out of a sinking ship. Da blamed Conor sometimes for his coding letting us down, but we were the ones at fault. If we didn’t make another enemy every time we took a dump, it wouldn’t be so hard to keep us goddamn safe.
They’d be better off at the top of a high rise. Sure, a sniper could get to them, but it was a lot fucking harder. Here, there were endless yards of perimeter walls to secure, two gardens, a pool area, never mind the driveway which was barricaded like my folks were living in Fort Knox. But Ma refused. She said she liked living in a house.
For Aela, I was contemplating moving into a brownstone I’d bought last year when Finn had brought it to my attention. He knew I liked the Upper East Side, had seen the rundown dump and had figured I might like a change of pace.
That he thought that said I’d been changing for a lot longer than I recognized. For a lot longer than Aela and Seamus had been in my life.
A man had to settle down at some point, I guessed. I was ready for that, but my brain, my body wouldn’t allow me to do anything of the sort with a woman who wasn’t her.
It was why I forgave her so easily.
Why I was willing to move past things, to forget ancient history. I wanted her anyway I could get her, and I knew I wasn’t the best deal on the shelves. Not when she was as good a mom as she was.
“I’m going to need your help, Bren,” I rasped, as he pulled to a halt beside a massive fountain of a kid pissing into a pool.
“With what?”
“Seamus.” I blew out a breath. “He ain’t like us.”
“Didn’t need you to tell me that. I met the kid, you know?”
“Yeah. You did.” I cut him a look. “Surprised you guys have been giving me so much slack.”
“Not like we had a choice.”
“No?” Curiosity had me turning to him.
“Ma told us to back off. Sounds like she and Aela had a little confrontation. Apparently it resonated.”
Because I could easily see Aela giving Ma shit, and because I didn’t doubt Ma had deserved it if she was laying down the law, I decided not to get in her face over it. Quite clearly, they’d gone against my wishes, but Aela had held her own. If she hadn’t, we’d never have had as much peace and quiet as we’d had these last couple of weeks.
Oddly proud of her, and the fact she wasn’t scared of my tyrant mother who was wed to a man who made tyranny look friendly, I climbed out of the car with barely a wince as Brennan said, “Don’t worry. If he won’t let go of the topic, of bringing Seamus into things, then I’ll let him in on some news.”
I arched a brow. “What news?”
“I’m getting married.”
My eyes flared wide. “Who the hell to?”
His lips twitched. “Think I should key the woman in first before I tell you.”
“What the fuck, bro? You can’t just drop that on me and not expect me to ask questions.”
“Got no answers. Not yet. But it’ll stall Da for a while.”
“Wait, so it’s a joke?”
“No. It’s not.” His smile was grim. “You aren’t the only one who has a past, Declan. We all made mistakes. Some are impossible to rectify, but some can be if you just try.”
With that cryptic statement, he stormed off, leaving me to stagger toward him down the stone path.
I headed inside, instantly wincing when Ma barreled out of nowhere to hug me. It always astonished me just how strong she was, but I appreciated it. I couldn’t deny it. I squeezed her back even though it hurt, and when she peered up at me, concern on her face and relieved tears in her eyes, I couldn’t fault her.
Just like Brennan had said, we all made mistakes. Ma’s mistake had been to let Da get away with murder. I couldn’t hold it against her, not after Da had gone full throttle crazy when she’d been abducted by the fucking Aryans nearly twenty-five years back—the repercussions of which we were still dealing with to this day.
I kissed her temple and murmured, “Good to see you, Ma.”
“Even better to see you, son.” Anxiety danced in her eyes, and I wondered if she was concerned that I knew about her visit to Aela and apparently stirring shit when I’d asked her to do the opposite, but when I said nothing, she licked her lips and asked, “How’s Seamus? Are you ready to bring him to Sunday dinner yet?”
That was four days away. I guessed I had time to prepare my kid, my atheist kid who didn’t believe in God—a discussion we’d had after watching a show called Naruto of all things—to church and then to the family home.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
Whether I liked it or
not, life was starting to butt its head against our doors. Aela and I had lived in a little cocoon. A small bubble that kept the past, present, and future from colliding with us.
Our time had come, however, and while we’d navigated this small storm, I had to wonder if the hurricanes that were a part of this world were something we could survive.
Seventeen
Aela
It was Seamus’s first day of school.
The first day where Declan could officially return to work, and that was because he’d had the all clear.
I was nervous for both of them, but nervous mostly for myself.
The all clear, an empty nest, I knew what that meant.
No way was Declan returning to work today. No way. No how.
This was it.
The start of something that had been brewing for decades.
I licked my lips as I dropped a couple of pancakes on Shay’s plate. He was wearing a uniform that he’d been bitching about since I’d bought it, which looked like something from a private school in the UK. That place Prince William had attended, with a blazer that came complete with a hat of all things.
I’d admit, not to him of course, that he looked like he belonged in a Charles Dickens’ book.
Biting my lip to hold back my smile as I dished out some for Declan too, I caught his eye, saw the gleam of amusement in his gaze and both of us forced our features to freeze because Seamus had more of an ego than he’d like to think he did. He’d get snappy and snippy if we laughed at him, and sure, sometimes he might need that, but on his first day of school? Nope.
That Declan was in agreement boded well for how we meshed together.
I was a ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ kind of person. Even though I’d been close to him once upon a time, I’d never have thought he was like that too.
It was Friday. Because money talked, we’d managed to get his uniform sorted out by yesterday, and that was why, four days after the tour, he was about to become a Midlands’ boy.
Filthy Dark: A SECOND CHANCE/SECRET BABY, MAFIA ROMANCE (THE FIVE POINTS' MOB COLLECTION Book 3) Page 24