by Lyn Gala
When Liam tried to pull back, Ondry surged forward, pinning him to the edge of the nest and kissing him harder. Ondry continued until Liam began to hum and he smelled of happiness and need. Only then did Ondry pull back. “You are mine. I would never let you go,” Ondry promised.
For a time, Liam was silent as he traced circles on Ondry’s shoulder. “I know that. I do. But I also knew Mort loved me and Kaplan would protect me.” Liam kept his gaze on the bottom of the nest, refusing to look at Ondry even when Ondry hugged him tightly.
“This time you are with a Rownt, and we are a people slow to change. I courted you for years, and if I were to lose all sanity and leave you, every Grandmother I met would cast me out and call me statusless. My desire for you is greater than my desire for status, and you must know how much I crave status.”
Liam sighed. “You’re good at the comfort thing.”
That sentence didn’t entirely make sense since a thing was an object capable of trade, and Ondry would never offer comfort to any but Liam. However, Ondry decided to discuss that with Liam later. “I value you, and I am greatly motivated to care well for those individuals I value,” Ondry said firmly. “Do you want to speak with Framkie again? I can go with you.”
“And say what?”
“That if anyone causes you harm, I will rip their limbs off, and I will tear my own limbs off before I harm you.”
“That would be an interesting conversation,” Liam said with a small laugh, but Ondry noted Liam did not deny a desire to see Framkie again. Liam felt such loyalty to others that Ondry wondered why no one had shown him loyalty in return. However, Ondry could not pretend to understand his own people, much less those of Earth. Ondry could only hold on to Liam and hope the gods sorted the rest. Given that Ondry had stopped believing in gods when he was fifty and he was losing faith in Grandmothers, that was an uncomfortable thought.
Chapter Nine
After a few hours of sleep, Ondry woke. Liam was sprawled over the pillows, one leg tangled in the covers. Moving slowly, Ondry slid out of the nest. It smelled of Liam’s musk, a remnant of the pleasant hours they had spent in nonreproductive sex; however, Ondry could not wallow in the luxury of a well-lined nest when he needed to speak to the Grandmothers. Clearly they knew more of this interaction with Framkie than they had told him, but that was the way of the Grandmothers.
Ondry put a small monitor next to Liam to warn Ondry to return if he began to stir. When Ondry had discovered the human need for sleep exceeded his own, he had thought nothing of leaving the nest, but Liam’s nightmares had brought him running back often enough that Ondry feared wandering too far without some warning in case memories returned to harm Liam in sleep. The idea that Liam had to face enemies that Ondry could not protect him from was disquieting, but Liam had assured him that all humans suffered from dreams and nightmares. Ondry trusted his palteia, but he had looked up that information because it seemed odd for a sentient being’s own brain to cause such fear and dwell in such unhappy memories. For a species that lived such short lives, humans had a great need for sleep, and that sleep appeared to pose many challenges.
On the other hand, as far was Ondry could tell, humans never had regenerative periods. The last time Ondry had felt the need for rotilac, he had slept for many months. Normally a palteia hibernated when their chilta did. Eventually Ondry would have to prepare Liam.
But that was a concern for some time in the nebulous future. Ondry was more concerned about the present. Liam had taken his former battle mate’s words to heart, and they were like a poisonous thorn stuck in that vital organ. Ondry didn’t know how to pull the venom out, but he was unwilling to allow it to fester.
As he walked toward the temple, Ondry ignored the few Rownt walking the corridors. He had to speak to the Grandmothers about what had happened and how the words had damaged Liam. When Ondry came into the temple, only two younger Grandmothers were there sitting on a bench and discussing something on a handheld computer.
“Grandmothers,” Ondry said with a quick bow. “I would discuss what happened with the humans today.”
The one Grandmother handed the tablet to her sister and stood. “The Grandmothers who met with the humans are not in the temple.”
That was a statement of the obvious, and Ondry struggled to control his annoyance. “When will they return?”
The nearest Grandmother studied Ondry, but it was the one who remained seated who answered. “They are having their meal. Perhaps you should seek them out in the common space,” she suggested.
Ondry widened his eyes and considered her. Only the tuk ranked would dare to share a meal with a Grandmother, so he was unsure if she was implying she believed him worthy of such a rank or if she was trying to make him look like a dalit who reached above his proper place. Huffing, Ondry turned and left.
He might make a fool of himself, but he needed to speak to the eldest Grandmother before she took his palteia to speak to humans again.
Ondry’s temper had not improved by the time he reached the wide-open space where food servers set up their wares. Unlike in Janatjanay, servers had to cook in a place separate from their living arrangements, so the servers’ spaces were closer together and it was more difficult to find one individual among many. A number of the Grandmothers were in the area—some eating, others walking the perimeter, talking in pairs. Ondry didn’t expect the younger Grandmothers to acknowledge him. They would not change the policy that left him caught between two different statuses. But the eldest Grandmother in any temple had more autonomy to flout tradition. So when he spotted her, Ondry headed in her direction.
The eldest Grandmother was finishing her food and discussing some quirk of human manners when Ondry walked up to her table, well aware she could humiliate him simply by ignoring him. In fact, she continued her conversation with her sister Grandmother for long enough Ondry suspected she planned to do exactly that. However, after a time, she finally greeted him. “Ondry.”
Ondry bowed low. “Grandmother.”
She angled her body to better face him. “Either sit or go away, young Ondry. I am old enough that I dislike looking up at anyone.”
Both benches were taken by Grandmothers, but the Grandmother across from the eldest was significantly younger and smaller, so Ondry chose to sit next to her. He was crowded, but at least he wasn’t in danger of falling on the floor if she twitched.
“You earlier asked about human loyalty.”
The eldest Grandmother considered him for a long time. Ondry wanted to speak, but he wasn’t sure how to turn the conversation to what he wished to discuss, and he had no illusions about being able to lead a Grandmother to any topic she chose to avoid.
“And you said humans had remnants of loyalty linger after the main part of that emotion had vanished,” she said.
“They do, and Liam suffers because of the concern for this human who was outside the ship.” Ondry could see he had caught her attention. Her eyes widened.
“How does he suffer?”
“His battle mate reminded Liam of all the times he made poor choices, and now he no longer trusts himself. He can only hold to his trust in me. I dislike this. His skill and logic is superior, but now he must begin to cultivate his faith in himself from a seed once again.”
Small pale spots appeared on either side of the Grandmother’s mouth, indicating she was distressed. Good. She had failed to protect Liam from this harm, and she deserved to carry some shame from that. She put her tine down, the last piece of fruit still on it. “Is this damage significant?”
“It is persistent, and I worry I do not know enough of human psychology to recognize the significance of being forced to question one’s logic over and over.”
The Grandmother paused before answering. “It is wise to admit ignorance when a claim to knowledge might cause harm.”
Ondry flared his nose and stretched the muscle—it was the only way he could keep from narrowing his nose at her. She should have admitted as much before taking L
iam into the human negotiations without Ondry. It was not like he was some lek-ranked youngling that would have interfered with the Grandmother’s trade. He knew the value in silence.
“What does your palteia require now?” the Grandmother asked.
“Since he is unsure, I am unsure,” Ondry said. “I want to go with Liam when he sees these humans, and if possible, remain at Liam’s side when he speaks to Framkie again.”
“And should they speak again? The human admitted the authorities sent him, so this might have been an intentional attack on your palteia.”
If Ondry believed Framkie acted out of malice, Ondry would not stop to speak to a Grandmother about it. He would hunt the man down and eviscerate him. However, every story Liam told suggested Framkie had acted honorably. Of course, if he had the instincts of a true chilta, the man would have taken Liam into his nest. That would have saved Liam some pain. However, as much as Ondry wished that Liam carried less grief, he appreciated that Framkie’s refusal to protect Liam had sent Liam to Ondry. For that alone, Ondry would consider the situation carefully before eviscerating the man. “The authorities likely mean it as an attack, but Liam trusts Framkie.”
“And do you trust Liam’s judgment?”
That was a difficult question. Ondry knew Liam underestimated his own worth and, in the past, had misjudged others’ intentions. “I trust Liam in trades, but in issues of alliances, I would be there to monitor him,” Ondry said. It was as honest as he planned to be. This Grandmother had the ship’s best interests in mind, and while she would defend Liam or any palteia, Ondry did not expect her to put her profits aside when Liam himself could not identify the danger.
“The humans require longer periods to prepare and rest, so we will not return to negotiations for many hours yet. Before we do, I would ask you to work with the Grandmothers on interpreting parts of the human database on psychological reactions.”
Ondry could not immediately respond without appearing wildly improper. To ask for his input was as good as naming him tuk status, but these Grandmothers had not done that. And even now, Ondry could sense the discomfort of the younger Grandmother. Never before had he been so aware of internal conflict within the ranks of Grandmothers. Part of Ondry wished to withdraw from this uncomfortable situation, and part of him wanted to call these Grandmothers illogical and inconsistent right to their faces. This was not how Grandmothers acted. However, he wanted not only the increased rank but the right to speak to a Grandmother knowledgeable in the matter of psychology and brain development. Maybe if he spoke to one who was older and could interpret data more effectively, the two of them together could come to more accurate conclusions. Too much of Liam’s pain existed inside himself, and Ondry did not know how to fight opponents that existed only in Liam’s mind.
After a long silence, Ondry nodded at the Grandmother. “Of course.”
The skin around the eldest Grandmother’s eyes tightened in approval. “Go to the temple, and the Grandmother seeking to translate the information will be waiting.”
Ondry stood and bowed before heading back to the temple.
Chapter Ten
Liam woke to find Ondry propped on one elbow and looking down at him.
“May the sun bring joy,” Ondry said before leaning close for a kiss. Liam regretted not teaching Ondry about kissing earlier. He’d mistakenly thought that since Rownt had such thin lips, they wouldn’t be able to kiss. Wrong. Ondry had soft and flexible lips and a delicate tongue.
Ondry curled his tail around Liam’s leg and cupped the back of Liam’s head as he deepened their kiss. Once Liam was kiss drunk, Ondry sat back and looked smug.
“You can smell how much I like this, can’t you?” Liam asked.
“Yes.”
“Thought so. You know, humans have negative associations with the feeling of being smug.”
Ondry nipped at Liam’s neck. “Luckily you grow more Rownt each day, and you appreciate having pride in doing a task particularly well.”
Liam laughed. Ondry was not in danger of false modesty. Liam closed his eyes again. He wasn’t actually tired, but waking up meant returning to negotiations with humans. Now that Liam had the chance to think about it, he knew the military command had put Framkie in his path. They’d used Liam’s feelings against him, which was a shitty thing to do. And it wasn’t going to get them anything. Liam couldn’t influence the Grandmothers’ trades if he wanted to, and he definitely didn’t want to. At this point, he’d be happy to never see his own species again.
And that might be an option. Ondry wanted to trade with the Imshee, so that would take them to the other side of Rownt space.
“Are you going to do some buying today?” Liam asked.
“I have already purchased a number of items. A scientific supply firm sold me a set of genetic samples designed for students.”
“Did you get it for the Grandmothers or for the Imshee?”
“I bought two.”
Liam took comfort in Ondry’s predictability. He had set his trading goals, and now he would move toward them, even if he moved slower than a human life span allowed. When Liam couldn’t trust himself, he could count on Ondry’s predictability. After spending years trying to court Liam and risking his own rank to claim Liam, Ondry would not turn on him. In the light of morning, the truth was undeniable.
“How long have you been up?”
“Many hours,” Ondry said. “The Grandmothers asked for my assistance.”
Liam waited for the punch line. The only way that made any sense was if Ondry was experimenting with human surprise-based humor. However, Ondry wasn’t smiling. He watched Liam with a solemn expression.
“The Grandmothers asked for your help? Does that make you tuk ranked?” Liam simply didn’t know enough about the rankings in the higher statuses.
Ondry’s nose tightened. That wasn’t a good sign. Liam rested his hand on Ondry’s arm and waited for some sort of explanation. The Grandmothers could wait this morning.
Eventually Ondry flared his nose as though intentionally stretching those muscles. “I doubt I shall ever be tuk while on this ship. I had some unpleasant words with the eldest Grandmother last night.”
“What?” Liam sat up. Ondry never spoke a word against any Grandmother, not that Liam could remember. So for Ondry to fight with the eldest seemed unthinkable. Liam could not figure out a version of reality where that was logical. “Why?”
Ondry’s nostrils narrowed again. “She allowed you to be hurt.”
At first, the words didn’t compute. Liam had no injuries; however, he had come back to the ship acting like he’d caught some infectious form of angst. “And you put your rank at risk because of me?”
“Yes,” Ondry said firmly with not a drop of apology in his voice.
This was all Liam’s fault because he couldn’t emotionally hold it together after seeing Framkie. “I was being irrational last night. The Grandmothers didn’t do anything wrong.”
Ondry huffed and then pulled Liam close to his chest. “You are my palteia, and they brought you back to me suffering. Even the Grandmothers acknowledge their own culpability, which is why I am coming with you today.”
Liam hated the relief that washed through him. He should be able to stand on his own, and here he was, hiding behind Ondry. But sometimes Liam felt so battered that everything hurt. Seeing Framkie was like having all those bruised parts of his soul stripped bare and revealed to the world. Part of him wanted to curl up and hide, but if he did, it would be like saying Framkie was right. Liam knew the Rownt were good and that Ondry would always protect and love him. Liam wouldn’t let Framkie make him doubt that. “I can handle this,” Liam said.
“Yes, you can,” Ondry agreed. “And I will remind you that you are the most precious part of my life. You will be stronger for remembering that.”
Liam wrapped his arms around Ondry and held tightly. Usually by this time in the morning Ondry was getting frisky with the tail, but this morning he limited himself to
soft touches. “A human would get tired of having to make me the center of his life.”
“And I am not human,” Ondry said.
“No, you really aren’t. So what was this task the Grandmothers asked for your assistance with?”
Ondry didn’t answer immediately. He held Liam close and ran his lips over Liam’s neck in a near kiss while stroking his hip. The hypnotic motion soothed Liam to the point where he was half-asleep before Ondry answered. “We discussed parts of the human psychology database.”
“Sexual submission again?” Liam asked. He had reached a point where Rownt obsession with the subject didn’t even surprise him.
“No. We read and discussed behavioral patterns influenced by imitative resonance behaviors and neurological mirroring and the right…supramarginal gyrus.” Ondry struggled with both pronouncing and understanding the human technical term.
“The what?” Liam asked.
“I cannot pronounce it more effectively, but it is a part of the human brain that integrates sensory data. In particular this part of the brain controls how much a human’s emotions are guided by his or her feelings and how much they understand another’s perspectives. The Grandmothers are looking at how emotive learning is effected by mirror neurons, which allow a human to see something and learn from watching rather than doing.”
Liam blinked. That was far beyond any psychology he’d ever learned. “Are there any common words to describe the scientific study?” he asked because right now he had no idea why the Grandmothers would be interested in emotional learning.
“Empathy, sympathy, and how humans learn.”
“Oh.” That sounded bad. “They’re confused about what happened with Framkie, aren’t they?” From a Rownt point of view, the whole conversation between Liam and Framkie wouldn’t have made much sense. Liam would worry they were offended. Only, offending a Grandmother Rownt took more finesse and skill than Framkie possessed.