by Lexi C. Foss
It was all fantasy.
All in my head.
And yet, I felt his presence there. He had to know this was happening between us. However, there seemed to be an unspoken agreement never to utter the truth out loud. I accepted that fate. Our blood wove a life between us that could never be, and if all I ever experienced were these stolen moments in my head, then I’d make the best of them.
The blue silks of Grigory’s bed cradled my naked skin, my clothes having disappeared in a blink of a thought, leaving me nude beneath Grigory’s gaze. I used to shy away in these moments, but not anymore. He’d seen me without clothes in my worst moments, during the night he saved my life.
I was no longer that woman.
I’d been reborn into someone new, a female with spirit driven by revenge.
And that was who he saw now.
“You’re more than that, Zay,” he said, pulling his shirt over his head to reveal a rippled abdomen that I longed to pet and memorize. Maybe tonight he’d finally let me. “You’re strong, refined, gorgeous, and far too stubborn,” he mused, tossing the cotton to the floor before crawling over me. He never caged me in, always allowed me an escape—a feat, considering his solid strength and size.
His lips gently grazed mine, leaving me yearning for more as he always did. “Please, Grigory.”
“When I take you, it won’t be in a fantasy, Zay,” he said, his tone holding a touch of command to it that confirmed he wouldn’t budge on his decision.
It was always this—an introduction without the true climax.
“You enjoy it,” he replied, firmly in my thoughts.
I did. “Let me do more this time.”
He just shook his head as usual. “I’m already pushing enough boundaries by doing this, beautiful.” His mouth brushed mine once again in that teasing caress, then he moved downward between my thighs to place a tender kiss against my mound. “I’ll give you what you need,” he promised. “And with every swipe of my tongue, I’ll erase another bad memory.”
“Yes,” I breathed. “Yes, Grigory.”
“Fuck, I love hearing you say that, even if it’s just in your head.”
His palms found my thighs, sliding upward to the place I desired him most. Heat blossomed across my skin, as it invariably did beneath his touch, and I began to squirm beneath the intensity of his gaze. Grigory always watched me carefully, measuring his movements and retreating at the first sign of panic.
Maybe it was all in my head.
Maybe it was real.
Maybe it was truly him.
I stopped caring, my eyes falling closed on a sigh as his fingers parted my folds to find me wet and ready for him. It was so wrong. I should never want anyone to touch me there again after everything I’d been through, but I felt safe with Grigory. He never pushed me, consistently going at my pace and monitoring my progress along the way.
“More,” I whispered, encouraging him.
He slipped a finger inside me, piercing me and forcing me into an unbidden memory that caused my blood to run cold. Only, his tongue against my clit yanked me right back, reminding me who parted my thighs and touched me intimately.
“Watch me,” he ordered against my damp flesh. “Hold my gaze.”
I swallowed and forced my eyes down to his, seeking his familiarity and knowledge and losing myself in the wonders of his obsidian irises.
This.
This is good.
Right.
Mine.
And oh, his tongue… Mmm, he could force an angel to fall with that skillful mouth. I groaned, my hands finding his head and my fingers threading through his thick hair. “More,” I repeated, unable to utter a different word.
He chuckled against my sensitive skin, shooting sparks up and down my spine.
I’d been with men before the incident last year, knew what it felt like to experience pleasure, but no one quite captivated me in the way Grigory did now. Being my fantasy probably helped; however, I suspected it was just as much him as it was my mind.
“Fly for me,” he encouraged softly, grazing me with his teeth. “Sing to Lucifer himself, and tell all the realms who you belong to tonight.”
“Grigory,” I moaned, writhing beneath his mouth and crying out as he added a second finger to his thrusts. It provided just enough pleasure and pain to shoot me over the edge into oblivion, my vision blanking out for a span of seconds as bliss overwhelmed every inch of my being.
Yes, yes. This. So much this.
The nightmares of that day slithered away, back into the recesses of my mind, the darkness swallowing it whole and granting me peace and quiet once more.
I shook from my release, sighing in ecstasy, only to open my eyes to find myself alone in my rooms with my hand tucked between my thighs.
I glanced at the wall separating my room from Grigory’s, wondering for the thousandth time if he knew. Did he lie in his silky blue sheets now, stroking himself to thoughts of me? Or was it all a fantasy in my mind?
I swallowed, hating the questions almost as much as I hated myself.
Pathetic.
Pining over a male I couldn’t have.
I should be focused on my revenge, to finally put my mind at rest once and for all. To move on from this place. To live my own life. I couldn’t do that while I longed for a male who could never be mine.
Even if a piece of him would forever reside inside me.
“Stop this,” I told myself.
I needed to get out of here. To kill. It was the only way to tame my wild emotions.
I slid from the bed and wrapped a blue silk robe around my body. Most of the clothes in my wardrobe came from Grigory, as I’d arrived in Noxia with nothing. Hell, everything came from him. My room, my food, my life.
He’d given me too much already.
It was time for me to fend for myself and take care of the names on my list. There were three. I just needed a new charm or amulet to portal-jump. So I’d scour the palace and find several, just in case Grigory decided to take a few back.
But first, I needed to shower.
Tomorrow was a new day.
Several Weeks Later
“The viper has arrived,” I said, unamused. “And she’s already making me want to cut off my own balls.”
“Charming imagery,” Adrik drawled back over the line. “Please take photos.”
“Fuck you.” I took another drink directly from my bottle of scotch. “At this point, I’m going to be an alcoholic by the wedding.”
“An impressive feat, considering the rate with which your kind digests alcohol,” Adrik returned.
“Are you purposely trying to be unhelpful today?” I wondered out loud. “Or did I catch you at a bad time?”
His wife had just given birth to a little spawn a few months ago. A girl named Adriatica. Beautiful little thing with a pair of lungs on her that literally shattered glass when she cried.
“Still not sleeping?” I asked him, taking another swig. “Because that would explain your bastard of a mood.”
“You’re funny,” he replied, sounding the opposite of amused.
Good. I wasn’t very entertained either.
“She arrived with a fucking entourage, Adrik. Fifty damn sea demons. Do you have any idea what that’s going to do to the water bill?” I shook my head, the joke falling flat to my ears. Hard to make light of a bunch of water demons crashing my palace. “She didn’t even call ahead to inform us of her intentions yet expected all the arrangements to already be in place. She’s a fucking bitch.”
“Bet Lux loved that.”
“Oh, she very much enjoyed telling me to handle it.” I tilted the bottle back and scowled at the empty contents. “Worthless.” I tossed it at the wall and grimaced as it shattered. “Not the brightest decision.”
“Seriously, are you okay?” Adrik asked, sounding worried for the first time.
“No, I’m not fucking okay. My damn palace has been taken over by sea dragons, Adrik. Sea dragons.” They we
ren’t even pretty to look at, but at least they didn’t have snakes for hair. Only Napia was blessed with that horrific trait. No, the others were just painted in a variety of colorful scales. A few even had tails.
I shuddered.
At least we had enough rooms to accommodate them without adding any of them to my wing. I could only imagine how Zay would take it if she suddenly had a water demon for a neighbor.
“When do you and Valora arrive?” I asked Adrik. “I need backup. Stat.”
“Can we bring fifty guests?” he questioned, humor in his tone.
“Sure. They can share with the sea creatures.” I paused, considering. “Actually, do you even know fifty people?” Valora had killed, like, half the damn kingdom when they ascended.
Maybe that was my solution—genocide.
Alas, my people didn’t deserve that.
Valora’s had.
“So we’ll arrive the day of the wedding, then?” Adrik countered.
“Okay, okay, point taken. You have at least fifty demons left in Nova.”
“Try five thousand.”
“Semantics.”
“Seriously, you’re really making me want to come for a visit, G,” Adrik drawled. “Loving the mood.”
“If you had to marry the sea bitch, you’d be in a mood as well,” I muttered. “I left her in the kitchen to deal with the chef because apparently our food doesn’t meet her picky standards.”
“I’m guessing she doesn’t like blood-flavored cuisine.”
“She said it tastes like iron,” I replied, shaking my head. “Clearly, her palate is going to be a problem.” In addition to a great many things. “Anyway, I need you here like—”
“Grigory!” Zay’s shrieking voice echoed through my quarters. “Where are they?”
“Hmm, I need to go,” I said. “But come soon.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Adrik replied.
“Tomorrow,” I added.
“I’ll talk to Valora.”
“Thank you.” I hung up before he could say anything else and arched a brow at Zay as she stormed into my sitting room with bright blue eyes. Her hazel irises were always flickering with different colors, typically to match her mood.
And blue meant angry.
“Hello, Zay. I’m having a fantastic evening. Thank you for asking.”
“Where are the charms?” she demanded.
“What charms?” I asked innocently, opening my cabinet for another bottle. I went with red wine this time, craving some blood. Although, the female in my room would do nicely. She’d tasted me out of necessity, not that she remembered it. She’d been pretty close to death that night.
What would it be like to bite one another for pleasure instead? I’d yet to indulge in that craving in her dreams, mostly because it was a boundary I didn’t want to cross.
“The charms that take me to the human world,” she snapped, drawing me back to our conversation.
“Oh, you mean the collection of stolen tokens in your room?” I countered. “Yes, I confiscated them.”
Because the last thing I needed right now was to have to babysit an errant demon with a vengeful chip on her shoulder. I had enough going on with the viper in the kitchen.
“You had no right to go through my things, Grigory,” she seethed, stepping into my personal space, thereby forcing me to focus on her instead of the cork of my wine bottle.
I really did enjoy her blue eyes.
However, I adored their turquoise gleam when she came. I wondered if they looked like that outside of her fantasies. Was it real, or had I made them glow that way to suit my own interests?
Sadly, finding out the truth was firmly off the table given her history and my future. Mutual interest wasn’t really our problem so much as timing.
Time.
Fucking time.
I had too little left before the wedding and no damn solution. Ugh, I really needed this wine. Only, the bottle disappeared from my grasp as Zay took it and sent it into the same wall as the empty bottle of scotch.
“What the fuck?!” I shouted as red liquid sprayed across my obsidian floors and matching wall.
“You had no right!” she screamed back at me, repeating her words. “That’s my room!”
“In my wing, under my fucking roof,” I retorted, just as irritated. “You’re not fucking ready, Zay. And I don’t have time to follow you this week. You’re staying here. End of discussion.”
“You can’t just keep me here.”
“I can and I will,” I replied. “You’re my responsibility, Zaya. And right now, I have competing responsibilities, and I would really appreciate you behaving for me right now.”
She glowered at me. “I’m responsible for myself.”
“Yeah, and how’s that going for you?” I asked, meaning it.
She responded by sending her fist upward toward my face. I caught it just before she nailed my jaw, and twisted her in my arms much like I had the night she returned from her human kill. Only, she was ready for me this time, countering my move with a sweep of her leg and knocking me off-balance.
Okay, maybe Adrik was wrong about the whole digesting alcohol thing because no way she could have done that with me sober.
I had indulged in a good two bottles. Or was it—
“Oof.” Her fist connected with my ribs, knocking the air from my lungs. Nice hit, I thought, pleased with her form.
At least until she aimed for my family jewels.
I snagged her wrist before she could connect and yanked her into me rather than twist her arm up behind her back. She countered by thrusting her knee up into my thigh—a little too close to my groin—and I narrowed my eyes. “That’s against the rules, Zay.”
“So is going into my room uninvited,” she shot back. “And stealing my stuff.”
“Is it stealing when the items in question were stolen?” I asked her, blocking another attempt to knock me off-balance.
She shoved away from me and hunkered down into a fighting stance.
“Really?” I drawled. “I’ve been drinking.”
“Winner keeps the charms,” she said, challenge underlining her tone.
“I already have the charms,” I pointed out. “And I have no incentive to return them.” Nor would I. Not that she stood any chance at winning anyway. She might be quick on her feet and reasonably talented with her hands, but I outweighed her two to one. I also had a lot more experience with much more threatening opponents.
Like Adrik.
Zay could be lethal, in time.
And there was that word again.
Time.
I loathed the concept entirely.
“Fine. If you win, I’ll not only drop the charm issue, but I’ll behave for your engagement party. But if I win, I want my charms back.”
“You’ll behave regardless, little warrior.”
“Will I?” She batted her long black eyelashes at me. “Or will I throw a tantrum in the middle of your big night? Decisions, decisions.” She cocked her beautiful head to the side. “I do feel a mental break coming on, Grigory. Maybe I’ll go screaming naked through the ballroom?”
“Are you trying to convince me to stop you?” I asked her seriously. “Because you running naked through any room would be fine with me.”
She sighed as if she found my commentary insufferable. I personally thought I was delightful company. “Just fight me, Grigory.”
“I’m not giving you the charms,” I told her honestly. “I have too much going on this week to worry about you gallivanting around the realms and causing havoc.”
She scoffed. “When do I ever ‘gallivant’?”
“Stop arguing with me, Zay. I’m not in the mood for word games tonight.”
“Well, I’m not in the mood to sit in my room and listen to you fuck your betrothed all night. So give me back my damn charms.”
“Fuck my betrothed?” I repeated, sickened by the thought. “You think I’m going to let her snake-laden pussy ne
ar my cock?” I snorted. “That’s a hard no.”
She finally rose from her fighting stance. “What?”
“You heard me just fine,” I replied. “And why the hell would you care anyway? I’ve had ample females in here with you next door, and you’ve never complained before.”
“I’m well aware of your sexual activities,” she muttered.
“I know. So why do you care about Napia?”
“I don’t.”
“Seems like you do, Zay.” And I sort of liked that it bothered her, too. How fucked up was that? Almost as fucked up as me stepping toward her and walking her into the wall—the one away from the glass.
She put her hands on my chest as if to shove me back but instead narrowed her eyes up at me defiantly. “Don’t.”
“I’m not doing anything.” Such a lie. I was definitely doing something, but fuck if I knew what. Zay had been off-limits from day one for a multitude of reasons.
Adrik would have my balls if I touched her. If he even knew about the dreams, I’d be a dead demon.
Although, they did distract her from the nightmares in her head. So I wasn’t a complete ass for taking advantage of our connection, and I only ever pleased her. Never the other way around.
“Grigory.”
“Zaya.”
I pressed my elbow to the wall over her head, my opposite hand going to her hip as I caged her in against the hard surface. However, I left enough room for her to escape if she needed it. I’d seen the vivid nightmares of what happened to her countless times in her head over the last year of knowing her, and I knew better than to block her in without giving her a choice to flee.
Which was why I always handled her with care.
Not that she noticed, as she was too busy glaring at me.
“I want my charms.”
“Is that really why you’re here?” I asked her curiously. “Because you want to be able to leave?”
“Yes.” No hesitation. Yet, she swallowed a beat later and allowed her eyes to flash to my mouth. A quick movement, but I caught it. And it wasn’t driven by fear but by something else entirely.
Desire.