by Kennedy Fox
I scrunch my nose. “I don’t know about that.” Stepping back, he drops his hands, and I grab the hairspray off the counter. “I’ll be ready in a couple of minutes.”
Things with Robert still feel off, and I know it’s my own conflicting thoughts causing it. I’m the one who’s changed. Seeing Tyler again after all these years still affects me when I thought it wouldn’t. I believed I was ready to move on and jump headfirst into a relationship.
I don’t want to be hung up on someone who can’t reciprocate my feelings, and I’ve struggled with the battle daily since he returned. Avoiding Tyler is impossible, and it’ll only get worse as we keep tap-dancing around each other.
No matter how hard I’ve tried to forget, our history and past can’t be erased. I don’t think I ever got over him or let go of the hope that we’d end up together again.
As I finish spraying my hair, I think back to my junior year in high school when I finally found the courage to admit my feelings. I wrote the letter and was nervous for two weeks while I waited for his response.
* * *
Dear Gemma,
After reading your letter, I’ll admit it took me a few days to decide how to respond. When I read that you were developing “more than friendship” feelings for me, I was partially caught off guard but also happy as hell. I have to be careful about what and how I say this because you’re still under eighteen. But since you’re probably wearing out your bedroom carpet from pacing, I’ll give you some comfort in letting you know that it’s not one-sided.
I’m not quite sure how to explain it, but I look forward to every letter you send me and always get nervous writing you one back. I didn’t date in high school, and I’m worried I won’t be good at it. My home life and childhood were messed up, which was a part of the reason I had to get out of town, but you’ve heard all about that already.
I’ve been gone for three years, and the only thing I look forward to when I return is seeing you again. I’m scared I’ll break your heart, but you make me want to at least try. I can’t promise anything, Gemma, so please don’t get your hopes up.
But for what it’s worth, you’re the first person I think of when I wake up and the last when I go to bed.
Love, Tyler
* * *
That letter had me happy crying for days.
Everleigh knew I had a crush on Tyler, but I didn’t tell her the feelings were mutual until a couple of months before he returned. She wasn’t surprised, considering the way I’d talked about him, and having her blessing lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
After getting stuck in a little traffic, Robert and I arrive at the float with smiles on our faces. The parade route isn’t too long, and we’ll do a big loop around downtown. I told Robert to buy ridiculous amounts of candy for the kids because it was my favorite part when I was younger. As I look around, it seems like the whole town has already started setting up lawn chairs on Main Street to watch.
Robert’s dressed in his usual suit and tie, and he slicked back his hair with gel to match my 1950s attire. On the outside, we look like the perfect happy couple, but I’m screaming on the inside. My chest is tight, and I feel like the breath has been knocked out of me.
“Darlin’, are you alright?” Robert asks as I try to suck in air.
I inhale and force out a smile. “Yeah, just nerves.”
He rubs a soothing hand down my back and brushes a few strands of hair off my face. “Don’t be nervous, honey.”
Robert helps me onto the float before coming to stand next to me. One of his employees is driving the truck, and soon, we’re moving into position.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I think I ate something weird, but I’m sure it’s nothing,” I tell him with a smile. Nausea rolls through me, and I question whether I’m getting sick, or if it’s something else.
We make it down the first block, handing out full-size candy bars and dollar bills. Robert makes sure his float stands out not just by the way it’s decorated but also by the extravagant things we pass out.
I start to feel better and wave to the crowd of people cheering loudly and kids squealing over their candy. Soon, we’re in front of Everleigh’s boutique, and the parade stops so the high school cheerleaders can perform a routine.
“Gemma!” Everleigh and Katie scream my name as Owen waves at us. I wave back, then notice Tyler.
Robert wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him. He’s playing the doting husband role with expertise, and I wonder if this is what it’ll be like once we’re actually married.
“Aunt Gemma!” Owen calls out.
“Come get some candy,” Robert tells him, holding out three full-size Hershey bars.
He runs up, and Robert kneels so he can hand them over. “Thanks, Robert.”
“Wait, I got something else for you.” He reaches for his wallet, then pulls out a twenty-dollar bill. I release a tight sigh, knowing how this will look to Tyler. Of course, Katie will tell Owen to return the cash, but Robert will refuse it.
“Wow, thank you!” Owen beams as he walks back to his mom.
“You’re welcome, buddy!” Robert waves again and makes his way over to me.
“That was very nice,” I tell him. “He’s going to talk about that for days, maybe weeks.”
“Just wanted to help the kid out. I know Katie isn’t making that much money at the bank.”
I’m taken aback by his rude comment. Katie might not be loaded with a hefty savings account, but she’s done damn well, considering her situation.
“Actually, I think she makes great money, and if that’s the only reason—”
“Gemma, not now. Smile, for Christ’s sake. Everyone can see you.”
My lips move into a frown as I glare at the man in front of me with disgust. I glance over at my friends and see Tyler watching us. His arms are crossed over his chest as he narrows his eyes with a shake of his head. There’s no way he could’ve heard what Robert said, but he undoubtedly sees how tense I am.
Between the disastrous double date and the fight with Robert, then my talk with Tyler afterward, my mind is a fucking mess. Robert’s true colors have always been right in front of me, and for whatever reason, I’ve turned a blind eye. I wanted to please my dad and make him proud, but it’s not his fault I ignored the red flags. I know Robert isn’t a bad man, but he might not be the man for me. His intentions have always been very clear—he wants a wife, someone who will stay home with his children and have dinner ready when he comes home.
When the parade ends, we’re out of candy and money. All the children were so ecstatic over Robert’s gifts and how generous he was. Right now, I’m feeling too claustrophobic, and I think I need some space from Robert. Once we get home and I change, I’ll explain I need to do some laundry and clean before work tomorrow. Hopefully, it will give me the ability to clear my head.
“I wish you’d stay,” he says, repeating the words he always says when I leave. “Or move in.”
My jaw tenses at his constant pushing. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I’m sure,” I deflect, not in the mood to have the same conversation again.
He tells me he loves me, and though I repeat the words to him before closing the door behind me, it’s the first time in our relationship when I’ve second-guessed if I still do.
Tyler arrives at work the next day with a mumbled good morning and barely looks in my direction as he goes into the garage instead of making small talk. Over the past week, he’d make himself a cup of coffee or refill his tumbler and chat with me before starting with his first project. However, today he looks at me with an annoyed or pissed-off expression, though I’m not sure why.
Last night, I had hoped taking a hot bath would help me relax, but it only allowed me to overthink everything. For the first time in a year and a half, I cried about missing my mom. Before that, it was when Robert proposed, and I had wished more than anything she was here to celebrate with us. But now I’d do anything to t
alk to her about how I feel so she could guide and tell me what to do.
Although I don’t remember a lot about her, I feel the emptiness and ache in my chest from her not being here. Katie and Everleigh give great advice and tell me to do what feels right, but I still need and miss my mom. She had life experience that I’ll never learn from and stories I’ll never hear. After years of being married, having kids and a family, Mom would know what’s best and could give me the advice I need.
My father leaves work early to drive out of town for a custom part, but Tyler stays in the garage even after I lock the lobby. We hardly spoke when we were in the break room earlier. I asked him what he thought of the Labor Day parade, and he responded with, “It was eye-opening.”
Instead of asking him what he meant by that, I nodded and left the room. I don’t know how to fix the tension that swarms between us. The friendship, or whatever it is, gives me whiplash. One moment things are fine, and the next, it’s awkward.
After work, I don’t immediately go home and stop by the store to pick up some groceries. Robert texted me earlier and said he had a work meeting and wouldn’t be able to stop by tonight but told me to be at his house so he could see me. Instead of agreeing, like usual, I declined and tell him I’m cooking dinner for my dad. We still haven’t talked about what happened yesterday at the parade because the moment I speak up about his behavior and the pressure he’s putting on me, it’ll blow up and turn into another huge fight. Perhaps it needs to happen, but I don’t have the energy to deal with that right now.
As I load my bags into the back of my car, I notice a black SUV sitting across the street. I focus on it, trying to read the license plate, and swear it was parked near the garage today. It could be a coincidence, but my paranoia has me convinced Robert’s having me followed. There’s no other reason someone would park outside where I work for hours and then conveniently be at the store when I am.
Witnessing his temper at the double date and listening to his demands about firing Tyler or quitting already doesn’t sit well with me. But if he has the audacity to hire someone to follow and watch me throughout the day, I’m going to be at a level of pissed off he’s never seen.
As I drive home, I watch in my rearview mirror. They stay far enough back not to be obvious but close enough that I notice I’m being followed. Before making any false accusations, I decide to turn down a random street, and when they do too, my stomach clenches.
What the actual fuck?
Does he really think I’m going to cheat on him? Or that Tyler and I are hooking up in the work bathroom with my father nearby? Every time Robert says something negative, I second-guess marrying him, wondering if I truly know the man I’m going to spend forever with.
I turn again, and the SUV tails me, which confirms my suspicions. Whoever Robert hired more than likely already has my address, so I decide to end this and go home. Hopefully, once this asshole sees I’m not being joined by anyone, he’ll leave.
As soon as I pull into my driveway, I grab my three grocery bags and rush inside the cottage. I peek out the window and see the SUV park across the street.
“Seriously?” I mutter as my blood pressure rises. “This is an invasion of privacy.”
Grabbing my phone from my bag, I call Robert, and I’m sent straight to voicemail. Growing angrier by the second, I call back. Voicemail again. He’s at a dinner meeting, and the fact that he’d rather ignore my calls than interrupt his mealtime pisses me off.
Gemma: Call me as soon as you can. It’s important.
He reads it seconds later, but it takes him a few minutes to respond.
Robert: Are you okay? I’m with a client.
Gemma: If you really cared, you would’ve answered my calls. It could’ve been an emergency.
Robert: I’ll be done in an hour, maybe two. Meet me at my house, and we’ll talk then.
I roll my eyes and toss my phone on the counter without bothering to reply. That’s always his answer. We’ll “talk” when it’s convenient for him.
Wanting to get a better look, I sneak around the side of my dad’s house and look toward the street, trying my best to stay hidden. I watch a man in a suit get out of the SUV. For a moment, I think he’s coming to my dad’s front door, but then another man exits from the passenger side, and they scope out the place. One of them has a camera around his neck and the other has binoculars. My adrenaline rushes through my body so quickly, my hands shake. I tuck my lips into my mouth and rush back to the cottage. My heart pounds hard in my chest, and I swear I hear leaves crunching in the backyard. I’m so fucking scared; I close my blinds and curtains, then lock the doors, hoping they leave.
This is insane. They saw me leave the grocery store with bags in my hands. I’m alone, but it’s not good enough for them. I’m sure they’re hoping to catch me in the act to provide Robert the proof that doesn’t exist. Whoever they are, they looked like professionals, but I’m not sure what they’re after.
Gemma: You crossed a line. Call off your private investigators!
Robert: I have no idea what you’re talking about. What private investigators?
Gemma: The ones you hired to follow me.
Robert: Why would I hire people to follow you? You aren’t making any sense.
I swallow hard, unsure if he’s being honest or not. Robert isn’t a liar, but he’s a pro at getting what he wants. If this is a scare tactic so I’ll agree to move in with him, I’m going to unleash my wrath. Perhaps it’s a stretch to think that’s why they’re following me, but there’s literally no other reason. Maybe he hopes I’ll be too nervous to live alone, and it’ll push me to move up the wedding date.
If that’s the case, I’ll cancel the whole thing, including our relationship.
Panic rushes through me as I think about these men being outside my house. With my dad being away, I can’t call him for help, but I wouldn’t want to worry him either. I text Everleigh and Katie, but neither of them responds as I put away the rest of the things I bought at the store. Another twenty minutes go by when I decide to take another look outside. The SUV’s finally gone.
I release a deep breath, relief flooding through me, but it doesn’t stop the anxiety from taking over. My heart races, and I double-check to make sure all my windows and doors are locked. I can’t settle down, and after no one returns my texts or calls, I break down and reach out to Tyler.
Gemma: I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m kinda freaking out. Would you mind coming over? Someone followed me tonight, and I’m scared.
His response comes immediately.
Tyler: Stay in your house. I’ll be there in less than ten minutes.
Gemma: Thank you.
I pace around the house while I wait, and when there’s a knock on the door, I jump. I’m worked up more than I realized.
“Gemma, it’s Tyler,” he calls out with another knock.
I unlock the deadbolt and turn the knob, then release a sigh as soon as I see him.
“Hey,” he says rushed, pushing me back into the house and locking the door. He turns around, and his eyes roam down my body. “Are you okay?”
I nod, feeling my insides tremble. “Yes, just weirded out.”
“Tell me what happened,” he says. We walk the few feet into the kitchen while I explain everything from noticing the SUV at work to being followed home. Then I tell him how I saw two men get out and walk around the yard.
“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, brushing a hand through his hair.
“It’s probably nothing. I’m fine, just worked up.”
My entire body is cold, and I can’t seem to stop shivering. I don’t admit that I think Robert’s behind it because he’ll judge me even more, and I can’t deal with Tyler pitying me.
He studies me briefly before closing the gap between us, then wraps his arms around me. “You’re shaking. You aren’t fine.”
I give in to the part of me that wants to feel his touch again and relax against his chest. He tenses, but as soo
n as I rest my head on his chest, he softens.
“Gemma.”
Leaning back, our gazes lock, and there’s something behind the fire in his eyes. Tyler’s jaw locks as he stares intently at me. He lowers his hands and slides his tongue across his lower lip.
“Yeah?”
“Why’d you ask me to come tonight?”
I blink hard, a thousand thoughts fluttering through my head. “I told you why. Someone followed—”
“Where’s your fiancé?” he interrupts, harshly.
“He’s in a meeting with a client.”
“Did you tell him what happened?”
I swallow hard, shaking my head. “I called a couple of times, and after they went to voicemail, he texted and asked if I was okay.”
“Why didn’t you explain what was going on?”
I lower my eyes, hesitant to spill the truth, but it comes out anyway. “Because I knew he wouldn’t come. He told me to go to his house, and he’d meet me there in a couple of hours.”
The intensity in Tyler’s eyes have butterflies swarming in my stomach, and I hate that he still has this effect on me. I shouldn’t still feel this way twelve years after he broke my heart.
Tyler scratches his fingers along his scruffy jawline, and I find myself wondering if it’s soft or rough. Probably rough, like his hands. The hands that have touched every inch of my body, the fingers that have marked me, the palms that have slapped across my ass.
I choke down the visual and blink away the memories.
“What’d the SUV look like?” he asks.
“Black. Tinted windows. Big, like an Escalade. Alabama plates.”
“And you saw two men?”