“This is where your mother and father live now and I’ll leave you off here,” Dyre whispers. As an afterthought he adds, “Please, don’t forget what I told you about talking to your mother or else you’ll bring bad luck upon us both.”
There’s something so resigned and somber in his tone. “I promise,” I reply as I slide from his back.
“I’ll return for you later tonight,” Dyre tells me as I start the rest of the walk to the house on foot. He waits, watching me from a distance until I reach the steps leading up to the house. I turn back to look at him and he nods before turning around and leaving me.
I watch him until he’s out of sight before turning back to face the grand new house my family calls home. I pause on the bottom step, unable to bounce up the rest and rejoin my family just yet. I can’t help feeling like I don’t belong here anymore. Like my family isn’t my family anymore.
I push the nerves aside as Leif and Espen run out of the house pulling our mother behind them.
“Oh, Hel! It is you,” Mother exclaims as she pushes past my brothers and pulls me into a tight hug. “I can’t believe I’m seeing you here with my own eyes.”
Father, Bjorn, and Axel step onto the porch to see what the commotion is. Axel’s face lights up when he sees me.
“Are you here to stay?” Mother asks as she clasps my hands in hers, distracting me from seeing the rest of the family filter out of the house.
I shake my head, “no, only for a visit, Mother. It’s so great to see you.”
Mother pulls me into another hug as tears well up in her eyes, “I was afraid I’d never see you again.”
Father comes to stand beside Mother, his mouth quirking up at Mother’s fussing. “Welcome to our new home, Hel. Your polar bear friend and the Gods have truly smiled down upon us.”
“It makes me happy to see the family doing so well,” I reply as mother pulls back and pinches my cheeks and studies me for changes.
“You’ve filled out wonderfully, Hel,” Mother comments. Something in my face worries her as she adds, “But you look unwell. Are you ill?”
“No Mother,” I lie, not wanting to worry her with news of my recent poisoning. “I’m just tired from the journey. It was a long trip to get here.”
“Well come in, come in.” Mother insists as she pulls me along with her. “There is much catching up to do on all our parts.”
I smile wanly as I climb the rest of the steps to the porch. The smiling faces of my siblings greet me, but one face is missing from the group. Where is Arika?
“Hel!” Espen and Leif yell my name excitedly, latching onto my waist to hug me. I’ve forgotten how energetic they both are.
“Welcome home, sister,” Axel’s grin deepens, his dimples clearly visible as he moves aside for Mother and I to pass.
We step into a high-ceilinged front hall and everyone looks at me expectantly. Kiersten and Britta wear beautifully designed gowns in complimentary golds and oranges while Elvi and Sorena stand beside their husbands in shades of blue and purple.
In Sorena’s arms is a squirming bundle. Donar looks down with pride at his child before telling me, “I have a son now. We’ve named him Stellan.”
Sorena walks over to show me the baby. I coo on cue and say, “He’s a handsome one, Donar.”
Instead of some cocky comeback Donar merely smiles and thanks me. Something about fatherhood has softened my most aggressive brother.
“And here is Arika,” Father beams as Arika steps into the room carrying her own squirming bundle. Her auburn hair curls around her face and hangs over the neckline of her emerald green gown. A handsome, unfamiliar man with light blonde hair and kind eyes follows close behind.
“Hel, it’s so wonderful to see you,” Arika smiles tiredly at me.
“Who is this?” I grin as I pull back the woven blanket wrapped around Arika’s baby.
“This is Thora, my daughter.” Arika runs her finger down the baby’s nose. “Thora, meet your aunt, Hel.”
“Hello, Thora,” I whisper as the baby wraps her little hand around my finger.
“Could you give us a minute?” Arika asks the family.
“Of course,” Father says agreeably. “Tonight we will feast. Children, let your sisters have a few minutes of privacy.”
Kiersten and Britta protest as Axel and Bjorn usher them out of the room, and even Mother looks like she wants to sit and catch up with me but Father assures them there will be plenty of time for catching up later.
The man that’s been staring at my sister adoringly since they entered the room is the last to leave, placing a kiss on her forehead as he steps further into the house.
“Let’s sit in here,” Arika leads me into a spacious sitting room. Once we’re seated she plunges right in, “so you knew. Before you left, you knew I was pregnant.”
I duck my head, “yes, I did. I didn’t want to say anything because I know how miserable you were, but everything seems to have turned around for you.”
“Yes,” Arika smiles. “I have your friend to thank for that. When you left I was so afraid it was all a trick, but the polar bear went above and beyond his promise to Father. He somehow knew about my condition and he sent Cade my way. That’s his name, by the way, Cade. I believe he was once one of the polar bear’s guards. Anyway, it was love at first sight; he didn’t even mind that I was carrying another man’s child. He even helped me tell Father and Mother. Their reaction, once I told the whole story, was better than I could have hoped for. And Cade and I were married at winter’s end.”
“I’m truly happy for you,” I tell her as I grip her free hand.
“I am curious,” Arika continues, “for your friend to have guards there must be something special about him. Tell me, Hel, where have you been living all these months?”
“His name is Dyre,” I say quietly as I play with the skirt of my gown. “We live in a palace north and east of here. But it is just us and a small staff of attendants. There is no Earl or King or anything of that sort.”
“Hmm,” Arika hums.
“What is it?” I ask.
“It’s just strange, is all,” Arika murmurs, “and the way you talk about the polar bear; Dyre. You have feelings for him.”
I pause and think of how to respond. “I like him, Arika. I really do. But he’s a polar bear and I’m a woman. I don’t know how it could ever work out, but I haven’t felt this way since… well in a long time.”
Arika makes sympathetic sounds and squeezes my hand, “maybe all is not as it seems. Give it time, Hel.”
I nod as Mother pops her head into the room, “dinner will be served shortly. Why don’t you freshen up a little after your long journey, Hel?”
“I will, thank you,” I tell her as I get to my feet.
“The house girl will help you,” Mother replies. “Arika will show you where to go.”
“The house girl?” I raise my eyebrow after Mother leaves the room.
Arika giggles, acting like her carefree self again, “don’t even get me started. Come on, this way.”
Chapter Eight
The “house girl” turns out to be a young girl from the village that Mother and Father pay as a maid in the household. I can’t help thinking that just half a year ago this girl could have easily been Britta, Kiersten, or Arika waiting on the Earl’s family in our old village.
The house girl, Inga, insists on helping me bathe and redoing my windblown hair. She presses my dress and applies makeup lightly from the pots of powders one of my sisters has picked up from one of the merchants in the village. They have so many, when not so long ago it was a blessing for them to even afford one pot of makeup.
Everyone stands when I enter the dining room where a spot is saved for me beside Father’s seat at the head of the table and Axel’s seat on Father’s left side. Axel pulls out my chair so I may sit down, and we all help ourselves to mugs of mead as Inga sets about to placing platters of food onto the long table.
I look around and notic
e how accustomed to this new lifestyle my family has become. A part of me is saddened because it has allowed us all to become lazy. I miss the old days in our little shack, so filled with love and laughter, where we all waited on one another.
“Is your new life treating you well?” Father asks as he cuts into the meat on the plate in front of him.
“Exceedingly well, Father,” I tell him as I spear a carrot with my fork. “I enjoy where I live now, I have everything I need or could ever wish for. I’ve even been able to get back into glass blowing.”
“That’s excellent,” Father nods approvingly.
“How have things been for everyone here?” I ask as I look around the table. Espen and Leif play with their vegetables like always and Elvi sits beside Mother feeding baby Gunner while blowing kisses at Sorena’s son. Down the table from where I sit Britta and Kiersten shoot covert looks at me while gossiping about someone from the village. Across from them Arika and her new husband gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes. If anything was worth my leaving, it’s how happy Arika is now.
“Everything is better than we could have hoped for,” Father admits. “I was able to commission my own boat and Bjorn, Donar, and I will be setting off for the first time next week. We have a new crew and everything. Axel, tell your sister what you’ve been up to since she’s been gone.”
Axel looks up from his plate and turns to me, “The land is so much better here than it was at our old home, Hel. The livestock is thriving and I have high hopes for our crops this year.”
“That’s great, Axel,” I pat his shoulder in congratulations.
“What else, Axel,” Father prompts.
Axel’s face turns as red as the beets on his plate, “there’s a girl in the village I’m interested in.”
I can’t contain my grin, “I’m happy for you. Any girl will be lucky to have you.”
Axel ducks his head in embarrassment, mumbling, “Thanks,” under his breath.
“So tell us all about where you’ve been living and all the adventures you’ve had,” Father says loudly, putting me on the spot as everyone’s head swivels in my direction.
It’s my turn to blush as I clear my throat. I fill them in on bits and pieces of my months away from the family, omitting the poisoning and how lonely I am at times. I vaguely describe the castle and the attendants and my daily activities. Cade nods knowingly, occasionally interjecting a comment or expanding on something I’ve said. I don’t say much at all about Dyre, and something about the way Cade and Arika look at me tell me they know why I’m holding back.
Britta and Kiersten ask lots of questions about the clothing and jewelry I own now that I live in a palace. I shrug and tell them I usually don’t dress too fancily because I spend a lot of time in my glass blowing studio or sorting through books in the library.
Bjorn politely asks about the glass blowing pieces I’ve created since rekindling my passion for the art form and I briefly tell the table. I remember now that Bjorn would often accompany Father into the workshop and witness firsthand as I melded glass to my will.
When I inquire about Father’s weapon making, he modestly says he has sold several pieces in the village but Mother quickly interrupts and tells me he has men coming from far and wide to have one of his creations.
I sit back, watching my family interact. They’ve lost interest in asking me questions after realizing they aren’t going to get much out of me. I realize sadly that we’ve all become accustomed to our new lives and just like I don’t exactly fit in with my father and mother and siblings anymore, my life at the palace is far removed from their lives as well. If possible, I feel even lonelier coming “home” for this visit.
As the night wears on the one thing that Dyre predicted happens, my mother asks to speak with me alone in her bedchamber.
“Oh, we don’t have anything to discuss that can’t wait,” I politely put off my mother as I sit down with Axel in the sitting room.
“You know she’s not going to give up that easily,” Axel smiles knowingly.
“I know, but it was worth a try,” I sigh as I lean back in my seat in the sitting room.
“Are you happy, Hel?” Axel asks as he searches my face. “Be honest.”
“I am,” I reply slowly. “Most of the time anyway, I mean nobody is happy all the time.”
“I know,” Axel agrees. “I just feel bad sometimes that I pretty much talked you into leaving.”
I shake my head, “no, it was the right thing to do.”
“Maybe,” Axel says quietly. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how things turn out in the long term.”
“How is everyone adjusting, really?” I ask, throwing a variation of Axel’s question back at him.
Axel snorts, “Well Mother, Britta, and Kiersten took to this lifestyle like they were born to it, and Arika is happier than I’ve ever seen her. Father, Bjorn, and Donar are hopeful that our change in circumstances will lead to better raiding opportunities, of course, and Espen and Leif are still young enough that nothing much affects them.”
“And you?” I ask.
Axel rolls his shoulders, “It’s still taking some time to get used to.”
“I know what you mean,” I nod understandingly.
“Will you be staying the night?” Mother circles back to ask me, interrupting my conversation with Axel.
I shake my head, “no, Dyre will be back for me later this evening.” At her blank stare, I elaborate, “The polar bear. His name is Dyre.”
“Oh, well, at least come and talk to me for a few minutes. I haven’t seen you in half a year, Hel. Surely you can spare some time for your mother.”
Axel laughs and mumbles, “I told you so,” under his breath.
I whack the back of his head as I get up and follow Mother out of the room. I follow Mother up a stone staircase to the second floor. At the landing Mother turns down the hallway and follows it to the end, entering a room off the left side of the hallway finally. I pause before following her inside, transfixed by a pane of stained glass spanning an entire window frame where the hallway dead ends. The stained glass depicts a handsome man being struck by lightning as Odin watches from up above. Something strikes me as familiar about the picture in the stained glass but I can’t figure out what.
“Are you coming, Hel?” Mother calls as she sets about lighting candles in her and Father’s bedchamber.
“Yes, sorry,” I reply, quickly stepping into the room to join Mother.
Once I step inside the room, sparsely furnished with dark, masculine colors much like Dyre’s room back at the palace; Mother closes the door behind us and urges me to join her on the bed. A mound of furs covers the bed haphazardly and I climb atop them, running my hands over the softness. Mother settles in beside me and turns to face me head on.
“What is really going on, Hel?” Mother demands.
I shake my head, “don’t ask me that, Mother, please.”
“Helga Daalgaard, you tell me what is bothering you this instant!” Mother scolds me.
I sigh, “Ever since I arrived at the palace I’ve been having this strange dream. Every night I go to bed and within minutes of lying down I fall asleep and fall into the same dream. It always starts with a man coming and lying down beside me. I never see him so I don’t know what he looks like. He pulls me into his arms and strokes my arm or kisses my neck, sometimes he whispers in my ear but it’s never anything I can remember. It feels so real as if there really is someone coming and sleeping beside me but when I wake up I’m all alone. The bed is cold as if nobody was ever there. I walk around the palace all day all alone except for the rare occasions when Dyre offers me company or I run into one of the attendants. I feel so lonely all the time that I wish this phantom from my dreams was real because I long to be able to see him. I try to put on a happy face for Dyre and the servants’ sakes but my days are so dull, dreary, and lonesome. I often wonder, ‘how have I allowed myself to get so lonely and isolated here?’”
“H
mm,” Mother hums, tapping her lip in the same manner Arika did earlier.
“What is it?” I ask, eager for her input.
“I don’t think that is a dream at all,” Mother replies.
“It has to be,” I protest.
Mother shakes her head, “no, I believe it is not. Someone is coming to you every night and sleeping beside you, allowing you to believe it is but a dream. It may well be a troll you slept with.”
My youngest brother, Leif, hops out of a cavernous closet in Mother and Father’s bedchamber wearing a gruesome troll mask. He must have been hiding in there all along. When he sees us he yells, “Boo,” and giggles wildly before running for the door.
My mother shakes her finger at his retreating form and says to me, “I prove my point.”
“I can’t believe this,” I shake my head.
“Do not fret,” Mother says as she takes my hands in hers and squeezes them reassuringly, “for I will teach you how to set eyes on him.”
“Yes,” I nod eagerly, “tell me how.”
“I’ll give you a small candle, which you shall carry home in your bosom,” Mother instructs. “When you return to the palace and you go to bed pretend you are asleep and wait for him to come. You must wait until you are sure he is asleep, then light the candle and you’ll be able to see him. But you must be careful not to drop the tallow on him.”
“Yes, that surely will do the trick,” I reply excitedly as Mother gets up to retrieve the candle from a drawer in her bedside table. I test the weight of the stout butter-colored candle in my hand before tucking it away in the top of my gown, thankful that Rana’s dress is tight in the bustline to flatter my chest.
Mother and I share a secret smile before leaving the room to rejoin the rest of the family in the sitting room.
Chapter Nine
As the night draws on and the candles and fireplace cast shadows on the walls three raps sound on the front door.
“That will be Dyre,” I announce regretfully as Father goes to answer the door.
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