Tears of a Tiger

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by Sharon M. Draper


  I think I’ll go to church with Mama this Sunday. I know people will say that it’s because of the accident that I came back to church—well, they’re right. I’m not too proud to know when a problem is bigger than I am. Of course most things in life are bigger than I am, but I’m learnin’ to live with it.

  Please, Lord, help me to learn to live with this too. Thanks for listenin’. See you Sunday.

  “My Most

  Frightening Moment”

  Rhonda’s English Homework

  NOVEMBER 16

  Rhonda Jeffries

  English Homework

  November 16

  Personal Essay

  Topic—My Most Frightening Moment

  Last week I learned that kids my age could die. That was the most frightening experience I ever had. A boy that I knew real well, that sat next to me in study hall, died in a car crash.

  It all started at school on the day before the basketball game. We were all sitting around on the steps of the school, talking about nothing, really. I think Gerald was complaining how ugly everything looked—there were no leaves on the trees, and everything was all muddy from the last time it had snowed. Our school building must have been built about a million years ago, because it was brown and tall and raggedy-looking, but it fit right in with the rest of the day.

  Then Robbie said he knew how to brighten up any day. He talked about “bottles of sunshine” that were sitting there on the shelves of the liquor store on 4th Street. Andy said he knew how to get some beer and he’d have it the next day after the game. The bell rang then and we went to class. I forgot all about the conversation until I heard on the news that Robbie had been killed.

  The next day everybody at school was crying—even the people who didn’t know Robbie, even the teachers. That’s all everybody talked about all day long. They even had TV cameras here, getting close-ups of kids crying and stuff.

  I didn’t cry. I felt really sick inside—and mad at Andy and them for drinking in the first place. I thought we’d all come back for our reunions and then we’d get old, and then, when we’re so old it doesn’t matter anymore, we’d die. But he’s dead already. I didn’t think it was possible. And that’s why it’s so scary.

  THE HAZELWOOD HERALD

  NOVEMBER 16 *** SPECIAL EDITION

  IN MEMORIUM

  Robbie Washington, captain of our basketball team, was killed after the November 7 game in a terrible automobile accident.

  A memorial service was held here at school last week where students, teammates, and staff expressed their grief.

  Robbie always had a cheerful grin and a positive attitude. He was a talented athlete, and an honor student as well. Hazelwood will miss you, Robbie.

  Canned Food

  Drive Begins

  The annual canned food drive, which is sponsored by the Unity Cultural Association, will continue through the Christmas holidays. The period from the Thanksgiving holidays through the Christmas season is traditionally a time when we become aware of those who are less fortunate. Each student is asked to bring at least 5 canned goods. The class that brings in the most will be given a pizza party sponsored by the U.C.A. This is a time when all cultural groups of our school work together for the betterment of man.

  International

  Guests

  Last week, a group of students from French West Africa visited Hazelwood as part of the International Exchange Experience. They visited Madame Loisel’s advanced French classes and amazed the students with their vast knowledge of not only French, but also English, Swahili, and several African dialects.

  When asked what she thought about our school, Niafra Abundada, 16, replied, “Because your school is very large, very old, and very crowded, it frightened me at first. But even though I feel that the American students do not give enough honor to their teachers, I envy your freedom of expression, and I appreciate the friendship that you have shown me.”

  The exchange students will return to their country after a visit to New York City.

  BUS CHANGES

  Students who ride the yellow buses are reminded that fighting and other undignified behavior will result in a suspension from the bus and a possible suspension from school. Vice Principal Leo Davis has said that all incidents of disorderly conduct and unruly behavior must be eliminated in order to insure the safety of all concerned.

  Editorial

  Comments

  Last week, there were 400 people in the Senior Class. Today there are 399. One student became a statistic when he lost his life in an accident involving drinking and driving. Usually, statistics don’t mean much, but this statistic had a name, a face, a basketball jersey, and friends. Every 18 minutes, every day of the year, someone is killed in a drunk-driving accident. Alcohol-related fatalities are the number one cause of death in teenagers. When will we learn?

  On Giving

  Thanks

  As we approach the Thanksgiving season and start to collect canned goods for the poor (as if they are not hungry for the other eleven months of the year), we should all look around, and instead of complaining like we usually do, sit down, and truly give thanks for the blessings that we have been given. We are accustomed to whining about how small our allowances are, or how upset we are because we only have three pairs of athletic shoes, when there are so many around us who have no money, no homes, and no shoes at all. In addition, we have family and friends that care about us and we have the hope of a bright future. And, because we have learned that death is close by and can touch us, we must give thanks for the simplest and greatest blessing of all—life.

  SPORTS SCENE

  Loss Stuns Tigers

  The Hazelwood basketball team returned for its first practice yesterday since the death of captain Robbie Washington. Team members filed quietly into the locker room where Coach Ripley talked to them for over an hour. The team decided to forfeit the next two games and to dedicate the rest of the season to Rob and to try to win the title as a tribute to him. Andy Jackson was chosen as new team captain.

  Ski Trip All Downhill

  Let’s face it. Most of us are city kids and we just don’t ski much. Last week 51 students on an Ecology Club trip experienced the thrills of downhill skiing. Jean Gill, gr. 11, said, “I’ll be back. It was live!”

  TEACHER OF

  THE WEEK

  Coach Mark Ripley

  This week we feature Mr. Ripley, head coach of the Hazelwood track and basketball teams. He began coaching 10 years ago and has led our basketball team to the city finals 6 times and to the state finals twice. He is married and has one son. Coach Ripley is very popular with the athletes, as well as the other students. He always has time to stop and listen if someone has a problem. He sponsors two S.A.D.D. groups—Students Against Driving Drunk and Student Athletes Detest Drugs.

  “Hey, Coach! Can We Talk?”

  Andy’s First Day Back to School

  NOVEMBER 19

  —Hey, Coach, what’s doin’?

  —How are you, Andy? How was your first day back to school?

  —Not so good, coach. It was rough. I feel okay, I mean, I ain’t really busted up that bad. I got a few bruises and burns left over on the outside of me, but the inside of me is hurtin’. You know what I mean?

  —I hear you, man. It’s a rough scene to handle. How about your friends and your family? They’re behind you, aren’t they?

  —Yeah, I guess. Me and B.J. and Tyrone’ll never be the same, but we’ll always be real tight because of this. And the other kids are tryin’ real hard to be understandin’. My folks—well, you know how it is. My dad keeps tellin’ me to be strong and put this all behind me. My mom won’t really look at me. She cries a lot, but she hasn’t said much about the accident after that first night.

  —What about you, Andy? How do you feel about all this? This is quite a bit for you to handle.

  —I’m okay.

  —C’mon now. You just said you felt like you were hurting inside. What’s going on?
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  —Well, if you really want to know, I wanted to die right after the accident. I wanted it to be me that was dead instead of Rob. He had so much goin’ for himself. He woulda got that scholarship too, Coach. You know he woulda. He woulda made it big in the pro’s too. He was 6 feet 5 inches and still growing. And he was my friend.

  —You can’t blame yourself forever, Andy. And if you had died instead of Rob, would you want him to be hurting like you are now?

  —I don’t know. I’m all mixed up.

  —How long have you and Rob been friends?

  —I remember the first time I saw him—tallest kid in the seventh grade. He and Tyrone were best friends from elementary school and they went around callin’ each other “Tyronio” and “Roberto” like some kind of weirdos or something. Later on they started callin’ me “Andini,” but it was never as cool as their names because Andrew just didn’t sound good endin’ with an “o.” You know what I mean?

  —Yeah, I hear you.

  —After I got to know them, and the three of us started hangin’ together, I decided it didn’t sound so bad. Anyway, the first day I saw him, he was pickin’ his hair out with his red pick and diamond-lookin’ things on it. I went over to him, and said, “Won’t yo’ mama get mad when she finds out you took her pick?” He slowly put the pick in his back pocket, slowly looked at me, and then proceeded to beat the snot out of me. We’ve been tight ever since.

  —Nothin like a good fight to start out a solid friendship.

  —Me and Rob and Tyrone had most of our classes together, and even went out for the junior high basketball team together. B.J. tried out too, but he didn’t make it. I guess you know, Coach, that B.J. has tried out for basketball every year for six years, including junior high, and never made it once. He keeps sayin’ he’s gonna be the next Spud Webb.

  —Yeah, that B.J. is something else.

  —He’s got more guts than I’ll ever have. It was B.J.’s idea to try to climb on the hood to rescue Rob. Like I said, he’s the one with the guts.

  —From what I hear, you have your share of guts and courage too. Without you, the other boys may have been injured much more than they were. Wasn’t it you that helped get Tyrone and B.J. out of the car?

  —Don’t believe everything you hear. I think it was the other way around. Actually, I don’t really remember…. but I couldn’t get to Robbie. I couldn’t get to Robbie.

  —That’s right. You couldn’t. There are some things that are beyond our power to control.

  —I coulda controlled the drinkin’. I knew better. We all did. We just never figured it would happen to us.

  —I hear you.

  —I never will know why I didn’t get hurt worse—I shoulda been hurt so bad that at least I had to stay for a couple of months—but they let me go home in two days. My burns weren’t too bad.

  —Well, except for the miscellaneous Band-Aids, I’d say you look pretty good, considering. Have you recuperated from that court ordeal yet?

  —After I got out of the hospital, and after all the police investigations, and I found out that I had to go to court, I was really scared. I really appreciate you comin’ down there, Coach.

  —No problem, kid. Just wanted to let you know we’re all behind you.

  —I was surprised so many kids from school was there—all the kids from S.A.D.D., several other teachers. Of course, Rob’s parents, my parents, and Keisha was there. It was almost as bad as the funeral. When the judge talked to me, and I cried, in front of everybody, I was kinda embarrassed, but I guess that was okay—I guess they understood. A lot of them was cryin’ too.

  —I was too, Andy. There’s no shame in tears.

  —Coach, can you explain somethin’ to me?

  —Sure, Andy, if I can.

  —I had been charged with DWI and vehicular homicide, but they dropped the vehicular homicide charge because of my age and good-driving record. I ended up gettin’ my license revoked until I’m twenty-one, and a two-year suspended sentence. Even I thought it was a real easy sentence, maybe too easy. Do you think that was right? Shouldn’t I been sent to jail or somethin’?

  —The judge did what he thought was best in your case, Andy. You gotta stop punishing yourself.

  —I think I would have felt better if I woulda had to suffer and complain a little.

  —You are suffering, Andy. The judge knows that. We all do. And we’ll help you all we can. You come see me whenever you need to talk, okay?

  —Yeah, man. Thanks. When can I play ball again?

  —What does your doctor say?

  —I have nothin’ broken—just some slight burns, a few cuts, and a couple of ugly bruises. When I was in the hospital, they ran all these tests, but everything came out okay. They told me I was lucky…. Yeah, right.

  —Don’t you have to go to the Health Clinic for your Alcohol Rehabilitation classes?

  —Yeah, I go every Saturday from six in the morning till six at night.

  —Wow, that’s a long day.

  —Yeah. They said they wanted my attention first thing in the morning. Well, they sure got it. That’s even earlier than I leave for school. I went to the first one last week. It wasn’t so bad. Actually, I learned a lot.

  —Did you talk to the counselors there about returning to normal school activities, including basketball? Games start at eight, you know. Can you make it on Saturday?

  —Yeah, no problem. They said they wanted me to have as normal a school life as possible. It’s not like these programs that take away all your privileges completely. So I asked them about sports, and they said that as long as I didn’t miss any sessions over there and was able to keep my grades somewhere above basement level, I could play basketball again. I’d like to try, Coach.

  —It’s been tough on all of us, Andy. We haven’t had a practice, and we’ve forfeited two games since the…accident. But I feel that it’s time to move on. I think Robbie would have wanted us to keep playing, don’t you?

  —Yeah, I think he woulda.

  —We’ll have our first practice tomorrow. I’ll see you then.

  —Thanks, Coach…for everythin’.

  Sad Songs, Juicy Gossip

  Rhonda’s Letter to Her Friend

  NOVEMBER 22

  November 22

  Dear Saundra,

  Well, how is California treating you? Do you like it any better since your moved? My dad won’t let me call you long-distance anymore since we talked all night last month. The bill came to over $200.00 and he was ready to kill me. Even after that great Thanksgiving meal we had yesterday, he wouldn’t give in. He just doesn’t understand that when your best friend moves 2,000 miles away, you just have to do a lot of catching up. I’ve got so much to tell you—just wait until you hear what happened at school

  Two weeks ago, right after a basketball game, Robbie Washington got killed in a car accident. It was awful. Andy Jackson was driving, and B.J. Carson and Tyrone Mills were also in the car. Those three got out okay, but Robbie, he got burned to death ‘cause the car blew up or something. Everybody at school was crying and they had this special memorial service for Rob. Then these people from downtown called “grief counselors” came to talk to us. We were supposed to “share” our sorrow with them. Yeah, right. Mostly they sat around and looked concerned and smiled a lot. What seemed to help us the most was us talking in small groups with our friends and some of the teachers. It’s going to be rough getting over this. Hardly any of us ever knew anybody who had died before. You kinda figure if you’re 17, you’ll live forever. But Robbie didn’t. That’s scary.

  Anyway, I told you that I’ve been kinda liking Tyrone ever since school started, but he never paid me much attention. Well, he called me the day after the accident and we talked for about three hours. (Good thing it wasn’t long-distance!) He told me how the police questioned him, and how bad he felt, and how he was glad to have me (me!!) to talk to. He told me he thought I was cute, but he didn’t want to bother me because he thought I was goin
g with Gerald. (Be for real!) I told him that me and Gerald were just friends. Gerald’s cousin, Latrice (Remember her? The one who got pregnant?), and my older sister, Jackie, were best friends, so me and Gerald knew each other pretty well. But I never even considered going with him. So I told Tyrone all this, and he asked me if he could come over on that Saturday. So, we’ve been talking pretty regular ever since then. I still can’t get over it—he is so fine!

  Andy and Keisha are still hooked up. She said to tell you hi next time I write to you. She said Andy is having a hard time adjusting to the accident. I guess I would too, if I was driving and my best friend had gotten killed. He gets these crying spells, she said, and gets real depressed. His mother is sending him to a shrink, I heard. As far as I’m concerned, his mama needs a shrink. When she comes to the basketball games, which isn’t often, she wears high heels and a silk dress and a full-length leather coat; all the other mothers wear sweat suits and jogging shoes. She always seems uncomfortable there—like the noise of the game offends her or something. I don’t remember his dad ever showing up at all.

  Well, I’m getting one of those sore spots on my finger from writing all this. If anything else happens this exciting, I’m going to just have to sneak and call you anyway. My dad won’t really kill me—he just hollers a lot. I’m sending you the last issue of The Hazelwood Herald so you can catch up on the rest of the school stuff. Write back as soon as you can. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving.

  Love,

  Rhonda

  P.S. Girl, that Tyrone can really kiss!!!!!!!!! Makes me want to stand up and shout Hallelujah!

  “If I Could Change the

  World”

  Gerald’s English Homework

  NOVEMBER 29

  Gerald Nickelby

 

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