We went through the drill of him checking out the bathroom for me—which was surprisingly empty despite the crowd. Probably a testament to how few drinks were getting out from behind the bar, being that I was not doing my job.
I felt anxious to see Nix when I opened the door. He smiled when he spied me.
I wanted to tell him I’d missed him for the three minutes it took me to do what I had to, but that was a nice, quick way to scare a guy off.
He walked next to me until I got back to the bar. Henry looked frazzled and I set to work with her immediately. Between the two of us, we cranked out the backlog of drinks in no time. The patrons were even coming to claim their drinks and that made our process easier. Once we were caught up, Henry slid back out onto the floor to start taking orders again.
Nix was on a stool at the bar. I made him an old-fashioned. I didn’t want him to go anywhere tonight. I was sorely disappointed when I went in the back to get more clean glasses and his spot was empty. After glancing around Meme’s, I noticed Animal was gone too. All that was left at Nix’s spot was a soggy hundred-dollar bill being held down by his half-empty drink. I frowned at the bill before popping it into the tip jar.
My smile for my customers was forced for the rest of the evening.
18
STAY TRUE
Fenix
Animal was in the passenger seat and we were somber. We’d both had plans that had changed in a single moment. He was going to head home with three ladies. That was a given with the way they had been dancing up on him. And I had kissed Becca. Put my hands on her skin. Been the object of her desire.
I pounded the steering wheel. “Fuck!”
Animal bobbed his head in agreement.
We were cruising town now, looking for my father.
Becca had been spooked on the roof. It took everything in me not to toss her over my shoulder and get her the hell out of the bar and into my basement where I could keep her safe.
Luckily, even I realized how inappropriate that would be on a first date. Animal had texted me that he’d had a hit on my father. The eyes he’d hired to keep watch saw a guy who fit the description.
He was registered in a flop motel in the bad part of town. It was within walking distance to Meme’s. Watching distance.
I trusted Becca’s woman’s intuition. If she felt something was amiss, I believed it.
To meet my father tonight would be amazing. To finally kill the man like I should’ve had the balls to do when I was a kid—it would end this night on a high note. Not as high as kissing Becca, but damn close.
“We gotta make sure we’re smart about this,” Animal interrupted my thoughts.
I hit him with a glower. Smart was the last adjective in my vocabulary at this very second.
“You know I’m right. You driving around here with your whole body clenched like a fist with a hard-on. Seriously. Not a great way to make monumental life decisions. We’re not in the wild. We’re in our hometown.” Animal pulled out his phone and looked at the screen.
“Wait. They got him again. Duggtron’s Motel.”
I drove with the single-mindedness of a goddamn robot. I crashed through people’s front lawns and ignored all the lights.
I had weapons in my car—of course. But him? I wanted to kill him with my bare hands.
Animal had more specifics. “Room 114.”
“Pull up a map on that shithole,” I ordered.
“Back, left-hand side,” Animal directed me.
I tore through the parking lot until I spotted room 113. The door next to it was hanging ajar.
I threw the Hummer in park just so it wouldn’t run over me as I descended on 114. Animal was right behind me, probably doing the smart thing and checking the surroundings.
I had one image in my head—my mother’s face as she took her last breath. The scene was colored red. I rushed through the open door.
Ready for murder. Ready for my destiny. Fuck him. I would tear the skin from his face so even he wouldn’t look like him.
I circled the room twice before I realized it was empty. The bed had a board along the edge so he couldn’t be hiding under it.
Animal stood in the doorway. He was watching me because he knew what was next. I could hold it together for a long time now. As an adult. But not now. Not here.
Before I let go of the beast that lived in my chest, I had a thought. I prodded past Animal and he let me go. I banged on the doors on either side. I did it so loud the crackheads panic opened. I checked both. My father wasn’t in either of them.
Then back to the original room. We’d have to look for evidence of where he was headed. What he’d done.
But first.
Animal closed the door. That he stayed in the room with me spoke volumes of his trust. That I’d never hurt him. Because the rage and disappointment slammed into me like a fist.
I put my hands on my knees and screamed. I started to smash what I could. My fist went through the cheap drywall. The remote helped me crack the TV. All the blankets—I tossed around.
Finally I heard Animal say my name. He was quiet like we were in a library. The noise stopped, and I realized it had been so loud in the room because I was cursing.
I hung my head. Blood dripped from my fist onto the brown rug.
“You have a fight in you. It’s still unspent.”
I looked at his reflection in the mirror that was unscathed. Animal crossed his arms in front of his vast chest.
I spread my hands wide and put them behind my neck and then dragged them down my face.
“He never has to face me. He will never face me.” I wiped at my nose with my wrist.
“He will.” Animal turned his head.
He was listening so I tried to center myself to concentrate and lost.
“Cops. In the distance. You ready, baby?” Animal reached behind him and opened the door. There were a few drug addicts in the parking lot trying to see what the riot had been about.
“Put your hood up.” He looked at me expectantly.
“I want to find him. He’s got to be close.” I placed the palms of my hands against my eye sockets. “We need to case this joint.”
Animal waited while the sirens got louder.
“Fuck. Let’s go.”
I did what he told me and covered my head.
Animal took the driver’s side and I let him. I was too keyed up to drive sensibly. And that was how you drove a purple Hummer away from the scene of a crime.
I slumped in my seat. The adrenaline rushes tonight were too insane. Love and hate. I put my hand on my chest.
Animal was threading us through the neighborhood that surrounded the motel in case my father was escaping on foot.
Did he know I was coming for him? Was he scared? God, I hope he was scared. He should be.
The disappointment was palpable.
“Hey, how’d it go with Basement girl?”
I gave him a side-eye. He was trying to take my mind off my father and Becca was always the best way to do it.
“Becca and I kissed and stuff.” I looked out the passenger window.
“Baby!” Animal’s voice sounded like a proud seventy-year-old grandma. Even though I knew he was doing it on purpose, I felt my smile start to crack through. “Aw, look at you. You wore your best clothes, washed your man junk, and made moves.” He flailed his hand around like he was overcome. I rolled my eyes at him and gave him a fuck-you stare.
“Naw, sweetness. Tell me how it was. Like was she into it and stuff?” Animal wiggled his eyebrows.
“Yeah, she was into it.” I felt my chest puff up with pride.
“She’s a smart girl then. How about we go back to the bar and check her out? Make sure those girls get to their cars safe?”
I looked at the clock. 2:25 a.m. Meme’s closed at 3. Maybe a little later. We’d be there in ten minutes.
“Yeah. All right.” My heart soared.
“We gotta make a stop.” Animal put on his blinker to tur
n into the twenty-four hour gas station.
“We don’t have time,” I protested.
“Maybe pull down that visor and look in the mirror.” Animal indicated it with his chin.
I did as he suggested. My reflection was lit from the sides. Not only was I a skeleton, I was covered with blood. I slapped the visor shut.
I had painted my face with the blood from my hand. It would take time away from being with Becca. Frustrated, I shook my head.
“You can’t force fate, so you know. I’ve tried and failed. Time will come for all the things you need. Becca. Your revenge on your father. Just stay true to you.” Animal put the Hummer in park. I went into the men’s room while he went inside the little store. I washed my face until it was clean. Well, as clean as it ever got. In the poor lighting, I saw myself as she must. Terrifying. She believed it was makeup. That my ink would come off.
There were a lot of lies I ushered through the front door of Meme’s. My truths should be louder.
I always look like this.
I’ve followed you for years.
My father might be trying to kill you.
I run that silly app you love to play.
I’ve killed a lot of people.
Telling her those things were what she deserved before this went any further. She needed the truth, and then I could let her make decisions. Maybe she’d want to stay.
After all of that, maybe she’d want to stay.
~Becca~
The music was pumping and the crowd kept me busy. Off-Season Day of the Dead was clearly a winner for the Bossman. Henry was raking in the tips and so was I. The guys in the back were turning over glasses so quick that I had to dump them in ice before filling them so the drinks wouldn’t be affected by the heat from the sterilization.
And I missed Nix. Someone else was in his spot, and Animal was nowhere to be found. I didn’t know why I was hoping for a date scenario. Well, the kissing was for sure something that set my mind to a romantic mood.
I was seeing a lot of new faces. I’d spent tons of time checking IDs. After everyone was topped off, I had a second to run to the bathroom. I had to steal myself. I wouldn’t always have a bodyguard to check bathrooms for me. I had to start going on my own.
I didn’t like how my pulse picked up like a supersonic train, but I forced myself down the hallway. I was thankful for the line of women three deep. Because that would be a safe way to get in there—it would be continuously occupied.
I talked politely with the girls in front of me. They loved my costume, and I commented on theirs. The consensus was they were coming back tomorrow too. My feet ached a little with the thought of another night like tonight, but the money was good.
After I got to have my turn, I washed up and headed out. There had been no one behind me in line, and the long hallway was empty when I opened the door.
Slight panic. Okay, full on panic. And that pissed me off. Fuck that drifter for taking my security from me. I took a second and focused on strength. I counted to ten in the dark hallway even though every molecule in my body wanted me to run. When I opened my eyes, I watched as two guys I didn’t know push Harry into the hallway.
Harry was a regular. He lived around the corner from the bar and he had problems. He was an alcoholic, but at seventy that wasn’t changing anytime soon. He didn’t have a driver’s license anymore because he’d made a lot of poor choices with it a long time ago. Harry was harmless to everyone except himself. If Meme’s had a mascot, it was sort of Harry. We all kept an eye on him and the busboys pretty much assumed they would be taking him back to his house after a night of drinking.
The men who had pushed him into the hallway were in their early twenties. They were clearly having a lot of fun at Harry’s expense. It was late. Harry was not coherent anymore. “Pourable” was our code word for when we knew Harry would need to be taken home. He was definitely pourable at the moment.
“Lady on the scene, let’s let her by. Goddess of all the alcohol here tonight.” The one with the baseball hat jammed Harry against the wall in an effort to give me the room to shimmy by them.
“Hey, guys. Harry’s coming with me, though.” I ignored the escape route they gave me. Whatever they were planning to do with Harry, he clearly wasn’t consenting.
“This old fart? Oh no. He owes us some money. Caught him sneaking out of our pitcher. We got it handled.” The one with the spiky blond hair pressed Harry against the wall harder. The man had arthritis. I knew his pain tolerance was way higher than it should be from the drinks he’d had, but tomorrow he would be damn near crippled.
I walked up to Harry and looped my arm in his. “I’ll replace your drinks. On the house. How ’bout we all go back to the bar?”
Baseball Hat attempted to push me away. He’d been drinking too because his coordination was shit.
“Don’t touch me,” I said with a smile.
“Sorry. It’s just—go back to the bar, lady. That’s what we need. Go be a drink monkey.” Spiky Blond was spitting with his words.
There were all kinds of drunks. Harry was a happy one, Spiky seemed like a stupid one, and I was pegging Hat as a mean one.
“You’ll let go of Harry now or I’ll have you out on your asses.” I pushed my way in front of Harry. I felt the old man put his hands on my shoulders.
He stage-whispered into my ear, “Becca, I’m good. I’m a veteran. I can han…handle myself.”
I forced the men away by putting my palms on their chests. Then I patted Harry’s hand. “It’s okay, Harry. We can’t let you destroy these guys tonight. Letting you loose in here would be a liability.”
I heard Harry laugh behind me.
Spiky seemed ready to move on, but Hat’s eyes narrowed in a way that told me he would be like a dog with a bone.
“You know what?” Hat stood straighter. He was getting ready to do something and I wasn’t entirely sure what it was.
Behind his left shoulder I saw movement and exquisite skull face paint.
Nix.
“What?” Nix replied for me.
Hat turned around and saw him. I watched Nix’s eyes focus as he lifted his chin.
Confidence came off of him in waves. He clasped his hands in front of him like a pallbearer waiting for a job.
Men could be like wolves and Nix was the clear alpha. Animal was nowhere to be seen.
Hat clenched a fist and then released it by wiggling his fingers. Choice made. He wasn’t going to test Nix.
Though he still wanted to save face. “Fine. You bring us that pitcher you promised us. And that fart better stay on his side of the bar.” Then Hat pointed at my face.
I felt my eyebrows lift at his bossy tone. I ignored the orders and turned a little so I could see Harry. “You okay, hun?”
The flurry of activity in front of me happened so fast that when I looked back at Nix all I could see was his back.
Hat was on the floor and Nix’s forearm was across his windpipe.
I had no idea what Nix was hissing into Hat’s ear, but the man’s eyes went wide with shock. His skin was turning blue.
Spiky tried to talk sense to Nix. “He’s got you, man. It’s cool. He gets it.”
Harry stumbled a little and I stepped to the side so I could wrap my arm around his waist.
I was seconds from trying to peel Nix off of Hat when Nix stood up. Then he offered his hand to Hat. Hat took it and let Nix help him up.
He held his throat and apologized first to Nix, then to Harry, and then to me. Spiky looked confused in the change of the demeanor of his friend but took advantage of the break in the potential violence.
Animal appeared at the edge of the hallway just as Hat and Spiky made their way out. They had to press against the wall to get out of Animal’s way.
Nix turned and looked at me. He gave my body a once-over. “You okay?”
I nodded once. I’d seen a lot of altercations working at a bar, but that was a first. Very few drunk guys can be that quickly convinced
they were wrong.
Animal smiled at me. “Becca.” He gave me a little wave. “That gentleman need help?”
I passed Harry to him. “Yeah. One of the busboys can take him home.”
Animal helped Harry with the kindness of a nurse. Once I was sure Harry was well enough to walk, I turned back to Nix, intending to ask him what the hell he’d said to Hat.
Nix was in my space faster than he’d put Hat on the floor. He wrapped his arms around my back and kissed me hard. He lifted me off my feet just a little as he pulled me close.
I was surprised for a second before responding. I wrapped my legs around him as he put my back against the wall. He was wickedly strong. His intentions were pressed between my legs, and I had to take a break from his mouth to groan.
Nix slapped his hand hard against the wall close to my head. He put his forehead against mine and looked between us. “Please don’t make that noise. Not here. I don’t have the willpower to not…” He trailed off.
I felt my smile inching up on one side. I sucked at doing what I was told. With my lips close to his ear I replicated the groan and matched it with a tiny swirl of my hips.
His left hand slapped near the other side of my head. Our eye contact was straight crazy. He looked menacing and determined. The hallway was poorly lit and Nix was in more shadows than normal. He was holding me up with his chest and legs. We were breathing in the same rhythm.
The heat between us was dangerous. He looked like a man on the edge, and I had no common sense as I grabbed his face and kissed him --adding a bit of tongue. I put the groan in too when I got a chance.
If there had ever been a kiss as intense as this one in the history of the world, I wouldn’t have believed it in that moment.
Clarissa’s voice interrupted us. Maybe it was the second time she’d said my name. It could have been the third. Nix turned his head slowly in her direction. The glower he was pinning on Clarissa was terrifying. Like he was ready to kill her. I wiggled until he stepped back enough to let me slide down the wall.
I touched his jaw with my index finger and made him look at me. When he finally did it, the space between us was intimate, sacred even. “Wait for me?” I asked him so quietly I wondered if he even heard me.
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