by Kelex
Declan spun to face his uncle. “It has… distance hasn’t been easy. And the last few years… well, it was a difficult road we traveled after the death of my father. Finally, we’ve found some peace.”
“I’m glad to hear that. What brings you here?”
“Hoping to talk to my brothers. They around?”
Benny frowned. “I don’t see them around here all that often anymore.”
Declan froze. “I thought they were living here?”
His uncle chuckled. “When they were young men. They’re full-grown adults now. They got their own places a long while back.” He smiled thinly. “They’ve made homes and lives for themselves here.”
Declan clenched his teeth. How could he not know that? “You possibly have addresses for me?”
“I do, but Kai and Lane are headed up your way. Kai called me a couple of nights ago. LJ and Chase will be on their way Thursday night.”
“They’re headed to Bear Mountain?” Why hadn’t Kai called?
Benny smiled a slow, long grin. “You didn’t know?”
Declan sighed. “I called. Left them message after message. With no reply. I came here in a last-ditch effort to beg them to come home.”
Benny eyed him a moment. “And here I was, thinking you were here to deliver my invitation to this ceremony celebrating my brother’s reign as alpha.”
Declan sucked in a breath. The thought hadn’t even occurred to him. “But—you’re exiled. I guess… I guess I didn’t think.”
“You were once exiled,” Benny said, leaning back against the wall behind him. “And you came home. We’re talking about a couple of days. You telling me an alpha can’t give a special dispensation. I missed the funeral… I’d hate to miss the ceremony, too.”
Declan felt like an asshole for not even considering making the offer in the first place. Running the den and raising a family took most of his time, as it was. There were days he didn’t know how he kept all the balls in the air.
And he’d been so focused on his brothers coming to the ceremony that Benny hadn’t even come to mind.
“After all, I did raise up your brothers for you the last decade,” Benny added before Declan could say a word. “Gave them a home. Job. A little college.”
“Of course you can come. You and your family,” Declan said quickly. “I’m sorry I didn’t offer you an invitation sooner. It was inconsiderate of me. I can make arrangements at the new hotel in town, if you’d like. I’ll make sure they take care of you.”
“What happened to the inn?” Benny asked.
The inn had been in their family since the late forties. Human mates often had a way of landing in Bear Mountain, one way or another. The humans didn’t know why or how… they’d just felt a compulsion to come. His grandfathers had opened the inn as a place to house those newcomers until things could be sorted out.
But along with all the chaos over the last years—the human trickle slowed to a stop.
“I know you talk to Royce here and there, so you know some of what’s been happening in the valley.”
Benny nodded. “Royce—and others.”
Declan’s head whipped up some. The words were said in a tone that almost sounded like menace. His bear tingled within, telling him he needed to be careful with the things he said to this man.
“The inn is still in decent shape. I’ve been in discussions with Royce, making plans to get it fully operational again.”
Benny grinned. “Then why build a hotel if you can’t fill an inn?”
Declan tried not to sigh. “Trust me, we have plenty of business at the hotel. We have a lot going on in the new city center. We needed to have our guests closer to that part of the city, especially as we were expanding, building, and laying in new infrastructure. We are housing hundreds of shifters from all over the world. The inn is for humans, something we still don’t see too many of as of late.”
“Ahh,” was all Benny had to say. At first. “I wonder what your grandparents would say about that.”
Declan tried to not roll his eyes. “I’m sure my grandparents understand what we’re trying to accomplish.”
Benny eyed him, his chest puffed out and his chin angled up. He had to remember that Benny had almost been alpha. The man had alpha tendencies.
And there was still that thought spinning in Declan’s mind.
Be careful.
“Perhaps we can catch up more—when you and your family come to Bear Mountain,” Declan said, no longer wanting to be in the bear’s presence.
“I’m looking forward to it,” Benny said with a toothy grin. “Why don’t you come in—sit a spell. My brother bear and wife should be home shortly.”
“I wish I had time to stay, but I really need to be heading back as soon as possible. With the ceremony days away and some other integral issues, I can’t be away long. Mind giving me LJ’s address? I’d like to stop in to talk to him before I head back.”
Benny’s smile faded before he regained it. He walked over to a narrow console table lining one wall in the foyer and opened a drawer. After fishing out a pad and pen, he scribbled something over the top.
“Here you go,” Benny said, handing over the scrap torn from the pad. “I assume you have GPS in that little rat trap of a car?”
Declan showed off his cell. “I’m good.”
“Good,” Benny said before escorting him to the door.
“I’ll see you in a few days, nephew. It’ll be nice to be home once again,” Benny said from the doorway.
Declan could only smile and nod before descending the last few stairs and forcing himself behind the wheel. After typing in the address to his phone and making sure the cell was paired to the vehicle, he pulled out.
But before he got too far, he dialed a number.
Kynan, one of the best hackers Declan knew personally, picked up a few rings in.
“I need you to do some digging for me. Got some time?”
“Anything for you, my alpha.”
Declan smiled. The human was mated to a wolf shifter, and not technically a member of the den—but still Kynan felt the need to call him that. Better yet, the human had proven himself time and time again. “I don’t want you speaking a word of this to anyone. Not even my brother. I’ll update your boss when I get back to town.”
“Understood. Who or what am I researching?”
“Name’s Benecio. He’s my uncle, Gregor’s brother. I need to know everything. Good, bad, or in between. I want it all.”
Chapter Six
Meanwhile in Bear Mountain…
“Sorry I’m late,” Turi said as he rushed into Dr. Banyon’s office. “I… I don’t have a decent excuse.”
Dr. Banyon glanced at his watch. “We still have a good twenty-five minutes. Take a seat.”
Once Turi was comfortable on the soft couch, he gave his wild beard a good scratch and then turned his attention to the therapist. He’d been coming for a couple of months and yet hadn’t started feeling much better.
Of course, it wasn’t as if he was contributing much to his treatment.
But then, Turi had endured a much different kind of torture than the other monsters Doc Banyon was treating.
“Anything change since our last meeting that I should know about?”
Turi’s mind went to the men outside the hotel.
All he could think about was their scent. Their faces. The roaring of his lion within. And a hint of the other beasts inside him.
“No, no changes,” he lied, not willing to share that particular milestone.
“The serum still working to keep things quiet?” Doc asked.
Usually it did. He’d been one of many shifters abducted and experimented on by Project Zed. Among other things, his DNA had been tampered with, adding strands from other animal shifters other than lion in the humans’ feeble attempt to make him over into a monster. Each strand had added a new voice inside his mind—an animal spirit. After a while, the roars had coalesced into one. A dull aching t
hrob that had driven him insane.
Unlike the alphas and betas in Zed’s prison who’d been fitted with neural implants and drugs to keep them essentially unconscious, he was an omega. Omegas had seen their own brand of torture that had needed their minds and bodies unfettered by drugs.
He’d lost his mind well before he was freed, whereas the other monsters had lost their minds after—off the drugs and without the implants—once they’d become coherent again. Turi and the other omegas had lived for years like that. Coming out of that kind of darkness was difficult.
The serum the doctors had created quieted all those voices, but after years, the silence was almost more disturbing than the noise.
Turi wasn’t sure if he’d ever be freed from his demons.
Now… now the voices were raised a little. He heard echoes of their roars, even on the serum.
Because he’d met them.
He shook his head… it can’t be.
Turi saw their handsome faces in his mind. Both were dark haired, but one was a little lighter. One set of aqua eyes, the other golden-flecked brown. He drew in a breath, still smelling their lingering scent from their touch.
His heart was still beating rapidly from seconds in their presence.
Who were they? Bears, he knew that for sure. Otherwise, he had no idea.
“Something wrong?” Dr. Banyon asked, a concerned look on his face.
“No… nothing. The serum’s still working as expected.” Not a lie, exactly, but he looked away all the same.
He felt as Dr. Banyon watched him closely, silent for a moment. “So what’s on your mind right now?”
Turi ran a hand through his too-long hair. “Nothing much. Just trying to get through the day.”
The doctor was silent again, his eyes narrowing some.
Turi felt like wriggling under the doctor’s stare, but he did his best to appear… normal. Dr. Banyon seemed capable of seeing through his bullshit answers, and he didn’t like that. But to get the serum—to keep hold of that terrifying silence—he had to sit in this office and play their games.
The doctor lowered his head, took off his glasses, and then turned to face Turi once more. “Turi… I sense a lot of conflict within you. I know you’ve gone through a trauma and sometimes it’s easier to take that trauma and bury it deep so you can survive.”
Turi nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”
“You’ve survived.” The doctor smiled wryly. “You made it out of there… perhaps not in one complete piece, but you made it. They didn’t destroy you. And with some help, we can work on those rough edges and make you feel whole again.”
Turi felt the wall closing in over him. The numbness. He couldn’t let the doctor’s words get to him. There weren’t rough edges. He was shattered. And one push too hard, he might break into a million pieces. Turi wasn’t sure if there was any coming back after that.
“Therapy isn’t easy. It’s hard work, and I know you’re scared. But it’s been weeks now—and you haven’t let me in. Not one bit. I want to help you but I can’t unless you’re willing to open up. Just a little…”
He felt the nudge from within. He wanted to get better, but then what if there was no getting better. What if opening up and telling this man all of the things they’d done to him only broke him all the more? What if he lost himself in that pain again?
Turi had survived.
And the only way he knew how to continue surviving was to ignore the past. Live for today.
He eyed the doctor, trying to go through his mental Rolodex of all the shit he’d survived. What out of that long, long list of the things that had befallen him was he ready to confront? He ticked off the list and couldn’t find one he wanted to say out loud.
When he didn’t speak, the doctor changed tactics.
“I’m working with a lot of the shifters who were held captive by Zed. I’ve heard things… things that I know were terrible and hard to survive.” Doc paused. “I’ve seen your medical records, as well.”
Turi winced and looked down at his clenched hands.
“You’re the first of the omegas to come see me, but I now have another. He’s opening up a little, and I wonder if your story might be similar to his?”
Turi didn’t say a word.
“Do you want to tell me about the babies?”
The words sounded distant. He felt himself drawing deeper inside his walls. Inside his mind, he heard the wails of a cub… and that sound threatened to send him over the edge.
“Turi… I can’t help you unless you talk to me.”
“I’m not talking about that.” He drew in a shaky breath. “Not now. Not ever.”
Dr. Banyon was silent a moment. Turi could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall. Each tick grew louder, one by one, until they were as loud as gunshots.
“I’m not going to force you to discuss anything you aren’t ready to talk about. I’m sorry I pushed.” The doctor sighed. “I just feel like we’re not getting very far in our sessions. So why don’t you tell me something…” The doctor sat back and stared a moment. “Why are you here, Turi? Why are you coming in here every single week like clockwork if you don’t want to get better?”
“I come… because I have to come,” he answered honestly. He was fairly certain it might’ve been the first real truth he’d spoken in that office.
The doctor frowned. “Have to come?”
“The doctors at the clinic. They won’t give me my shots if I don’t come in here on the regular. Without that serum, I’ll really go looney tunes.” Turi’s mouth grew dry, thinking of the days and nights in that tiny cell, clawing at the walls, the screaming in his mind, and begging to be killed.
The silence might be frightening, but it was better than the alternative.
Dr. Banyon scratched something in his notes. “I don’t want you to feel as though you’re forced to be here.” He lifted his head and smiled softly. “My instinct screams for me to tell the doctors that you don’t need to see me in order to get their treatment. Yet, I fear what might happen to you if you don’t come and see me. I’m in a catch-22.”
“I don’t need a shrink.”
The doctor eyed him a moment. “Have you left the hotel this week?”
“Yeah,” Turi answered, twisting in his seat a little. His yes was a bit of a stretch to the imagination, but not a lie, either.
“And where did you go?”
Turi sighed. “Here. And to get my shot.”
“You didn’t leave for anything else?”
Turi didn’t answer. He glared at the doctor who damned well knew the answer.
“I thought you told me you were exercising regularly? Trying to eat healthy?”
“The hotel has a small gym and a pool. I work out and swim on occasion.” Twice. I’ve exercised twice. But, then, it’s still not a lie. “And the hotel has room service. Food is decent. I try to be considerate in what I order.”
“I’m glad to hear you’re utilizing their workout facilities. That’s a positive.” Doc made some notes before lifting his head again. “What about that haircut and shave I suggested? Might do you good to see your own face again.”
Turi ran a hand down his long beard. It hadn’t been cut in years. His wild mane actually gave him the look of the lion he’d once been. “I kind of like it.”
“It’s just another barrier.”
Turi dropped his hand.
“Just like the walls you put up when you’re in here with me. One more thing to keep people at a distance.”
The doctor had a point. Not that he wanted to agree.
“You need people in your life, Turi.”
He smiled, but there was no joy in it. “People have a way of ruining things and hurting you. I’ve learned it’s best to keep that at arm’s length.”
“Who’s hurt you? Besides the obvious?”
Turi lifted his chin. Another story he wasn’t ready to fess up. He eyed the doctor and remained silent.
Dr. Banyon gave a defeated lo
ok and went back to making notes on his notepad. “You also need more fresh air. Holing up in your room isn’t healthy.”
His hotel room had become his salvation. It was the only place he truly felt safe. Behind a locked door. Alone.
“That room has to get boring after a while. Where do you go from there? Where do you see yourself in a few weeks? A few months? The future?”
Turi hadn’t thought past today.
“A future?” The faces of his mates crossed his mind again. “I don’t know.”
He leapt from the couch and began to pace. “Is there an expiration date on this help you all seem so hard-up to give? The alpha gonna kick me out?”
“I didn’t mean to give you that impression,” the doctor said. “You’re safe here. The alpha won’t kick you out of anywhere, trust me. We all want you well.”
Turi stopped his pacing and went to the window. He looked at the people walking down the street, carefree and smiling. Families with their little tots, headed for the playground. Men walking hand in hand, obviously in love. No fears. No dark clouds hanging over them. How he wished life could be that simple for him.
“I guess my question is… and I really want you to think about this, Turi… what do you want out of your life now? You’re free… you can do anything you want. What is it you want?”
He thought about it a moment, those same two faces whispering through his mind again. “I don’t know.”
Dr. Banyon smiled. “It’s okay not to know now. But I want you to start considering an answer.”
Turi kept his back to the doctor.
“For now, let’s focus on short term. How about you tell me one activity you’d like to do this week.”
He turned back to the shrink. “I suppose binging on Netflix won’t be an appropriate answer?”
Dr. Banyon shook his head with a droll smile. “No. It won’t. I’d like it to be something outside. It doesn’t have to be something with a lot of people around. A hike up one of the old mountain trails. A run through the forest. Maybe even a trip to one of the new museums or galleries here in town. The Omega History Museum opened a few weeks ago, and it’s very eye opening. Perhaps a little sad, but a story of resilience. And it’s fairly quiet during the early mornings, I’m told. I could possibly go with you on your excursion, if you think that would help.”