I took one step forward, that’s all it took. In that one step, he opened his arms to me and pulled me in. I felt tears starting to slide down my cheeks but there was no stopping them. Sean’s arms wrapped around me and I finally felt safe, comforted. In that moment, I felt the love pouring from him in a wave.
“Shhh,” he said. “I’m here for you. What’s wrong?”
Everything came rushing out. How Chris never acted like a father, or a husband. At least where it counted. I explained how I always felt alone and cast aside. Like I wasn’t good enough to be loved or taken care of. I told him about the hurtful things Chris had said to me when he was drunk, as well as the so-called jokes he made when he wasn’t so drunk. After all, there was barely ever a time when he wasn’t drinking. He was always working on getting his next fix. I also explained how much I cared about Sean and how I felt terrible for what we were doing but I didn’t want to stop. It was the only thing that kept me sane. I hadn’t realized it until the words left my mouth, but they were true. I knew I shouldn’t be doing these things but I felt that they were the only thing holding me together at this point. I’d never realized just how close to breaking I was before Sean showed up.
Sean’s hands were massaging my back as I spoke. Occasionally I would look up at him and see the hurt in his eyes. The sadness. He’d wipe a tear from my cheek and make soft noises of sympathy.
“I don’t understand why he treats you this way,” he finally said. We’d moved to the couch where he was holding my hand now.
“I don’t either,” I admitted. “But I feel like I have to do something. I can’t just keep going like this. I don’t want Avery growing up thinking this is okay.”
Sean shook his head. “No, you don’t.”
I could see his mind working behind his eyes. The concentration and thoughts were almost visible on his face. He was struggling with himself.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I don’t know if I should say,” he said finally. I gave him a pleading look and he relented. “Honestly? I think he’s terrible for you. From what I’ve seen, he just uses you. Does he even care about your relationship if he’s always turning to booze to numb himself? It doesn’t matter what his reason is for doing it, it’s hurtful. It shows he’s not trying to fix things, he’s just hiding from them. I can’t say if your mom is right or not, but I can see her logic. He’s already emotionally abusing you and Avery, how long before the physical starts?”
“He doesn’t emotionally abuse us,” I said shaking my head.
“Does he give you his love readily? Do you feel like he’s there for you and your daughter when you need him? Or does he just do as he pleases and expects you to follow his lead? Does he care when he hurts your feelings or does he turn it around like you’re too sensitive?” he prodded.
My hand flew to my mouth. He was always telling Avery he didn’t want to play. He never participated when we did things together. It was like pulling teeth to get him to do anything that felt family oriented.
“I’m here for you, you know that. But you need to keep your daughter in mind and make sure she grows up knowing a healthy relationship. If you want me to back off, that’s fine. But I won’t sit around and watch you shrivel up and die because he doesn’t take care of you,” he finally said.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “I needed to hear that.”
He stood and touched my chin. His touch so soft, I barely felt it. I looked up at him with a watery smile.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” he finally said before leaning over to kiss me. I kissed him back with no hesitation. Once his lips touched mine, I didn't want to think of anything else. All my hurts were forgotten. All my broken pieces seemed to slip back together. No awkwardness, no fumbling. Our mouths moved together as if that’s what they were made for. Our connection so sweet and tender, I wanted nothing more than to wrap myself in it. FInally, we pulled apart. My lips reddened from the scruff of his beard and the intensity of his kiss.
“I really should probably get back,” he finally said. “But send me the address. I’ll go. Any excuse to be closer to you. I have to know you’re okay.”
“I’m okay, for now,” I admitted. Getting everything out and being heard was so powerful for me. It was as though Sean just offered to share my burden, even though it wasn’t his to carry. I felt freer than I had in so long. I gave him a quick kiss. “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” he said smiling. “Never hesitate to call, either. If your mom is right and he turns violent…,” he let his words trail off.
I nodded. “I have a lot to think about,” I admitted. I followed Sean to the door and let him out. I did have a lot to think about. For one, what I was going to do about these two men in my life. I wasn’t stupid, it couldn’t go on like this forever. I just needed time to work things out.
Chapter 10
Sean
Once she laid it all out and told me everything, I was mad. I could see the truth to everything she was saying, too. The way Chris treated her when I was around was pathetic. I knew that what happened when no one was around had to be much worse. There’s no telling why this guy thought that sort of thing was acceptable, but it wasn’t. I’d wanted nothing more than to make love to Lily right there in her living room. I wanted to lay her down on that couch and make her forget all about the things he’d ever said to her. What a low life making his wife feel like that. How did guys like that even get women? No woman should feel unloved by her husband, ever. Forget that love, honor and obey stuff. It seems like some men think that only goes one way.
When she admitted just how worried she was about everything, the first thing I wanted to do was find Chris and punch him in the face. Instead, I knew what I had to do. I had to show her what a real man acted like. I was going to go to this barbecue with her family and do everything that I could to be a gentleman. To show her what life with me would be like without stepping out of line.I would win her slowly. I felt terrible for not telling her I had seen Chris out driving around and drinking, but I didn’t feel like it was my place. That sort of thing was between them, even if it made me frustrated. I didn’t like knowing something like that and not telling her.
I felt badly knowing that my plan would cause her unneeded stress and heartache but she needed to see. Even if she didn’t want to be with me, I wanted her to be with a man that treated her right. Maybe, if Chris would even pay attention, he will see what he’s missing out on and pull his head out of his ass. If not, his loss would be my gain… hopefully.
The time I had spent with my parents had been hard. I wasn’t used to seeing my parents look so vulnerable. Growing up, they were always this united front. Seeing them truly scared was a sobering moment. I realized then just how serious this could be. I was torn over the fact that they were such a long drive away. Part of me wanted to be closer but Cottonwood Falls was my hometown. It’s where I had always planned to live. Granted, I could come back but finding work wasn’t exactly easy around here.
I drove back to work totally unsure of what to do. I really couldn’t do much at this point but stay put and see how things turned out. It was all terrible timing but that couldn’t be helped. I just had to hope everything worked out in the end.
Chapter 11
Lily
The day of the barbecue, I had to admit I was nervous. Chris seemed to get along well with Sean and everything was working out fine. Maybe he could get through to Chris and our relationship would improve? I knew it was a long shot, but I had to remain optimistic somehow. Otherwise I wasn’t sure if I could make it through the day. I didn’t know what my mom was thinking or me for that matter.
I put on my favorite pale yellow sundress and stood in front of the mirror. It was one of the few things I owned that I didn’t think I looked bad in. I left my hair down and natural, just brushing it and adding a little hairspray to keep the frizz down.
“Mommy, you look pretty,” Avery said as she climbed up on my bed.
“Thank yo
u punkin,” I said as I applied my mascara. “You look like the prettiest princess in the whole world.”
She cheered and beamed from ear to ear.
“Do I have to wear a tie?” Chris asked as he walked in the bedroom.
“Yes, you know how these holiday cookouts are. All the guys wear them.” I turned in my chair from the mirror on my vanity.
“Not all of them,” he insisted.
“The best dressed ones do,” I pointed out. “Fine. Don’t wear it. I don’t want to fight over it,” I conceded.
“Thanks, babe,” he said smiling and tossing it on the bed. “So your friend Sean is coming?”
“Yeah, Mom asked if he had anyone to spend the holiday weekend with and if he didn’t if he wanted to come to the cookout.”
Chris paused and then nodded. “Okay. Sounds strange but whatever.”
“Is everyone ready?” I asked, changing the subject. I didn’t want to talk about how my mother had figured out Sean meant something to me. I didn’t even understand what she meant. My opinion wa that she wanted to size him up herself. She had always been protective of me. It was no secret she wasn’t a fan of Chris but she kept things civil to him. Yet whenever he wasn’t around, she wouldn’t hesitate to point out how he wasn’t good enough.
Avery climbed off the bed, her cute little pigtails swaying as she jumped. “Grandma’s!” she cheered.
Once at my mother’s Chris disappeared to the den with my younger cousin Skyler. They usually would spend most of any family gathering there watching whatever game they had missed. Meanwhile, Avery and I went to the kitchen with my mother to help with any last minute details.
“What do we get to do this time, Grandma?” she asked after giving the woman a hug.
“First, I need you to take this glass of tea to your grandpa. Be careful because he’s grilling,” she said as she handed the girl the glass.
“Yes, Grandma,” Avery said in her most serious voice.
“How have things been going?” she asked as soon as she was out of earshot.
“Pretty confusing, actually. I’m starting to think it was weird to invite Sean,” I admitted.
“Nonsense. He’s an old friend of yours that didn’t have plans. You know how many people come to these things. It’s not exactly a ‘family’ thing anymore,” she pointed out. “Look at half the people that are already here. They are mostly friends of the family, also
“You’re right,” I said. “That makes sense.”
“Of course it does,” she said smirking.
Avery cam rushing back inside. “Now what can I do?” Her little cheeks flush with excitement.
Just then, the doorbell rang. “Why don’t you answer the door?” she asked. Avery nodded and took off for the door.
“Is Chris still in love with his phone?” my mother asked.
“Mom,” I chastised.
“Reasonable question,” she said airily with a sly grin on her face.
“Lookie Mommy, it’s Sean,” Avery said as she tugged him into the kitchen by his finger. He was wearing a light green button up shirt with a pale blue tie. He was still wearing jeans but they were nicer than your average pair.
“Hey,” he said with a sly grin. He held his hand out to my mother. “Thanks for inviting me,” he said. “My name’s Sean Mitchell.”
“Nice to meet you,” she said shaking his hand. “You can call me Diane.”
“Can I help with anything?” he asked.
“I was about to have Lily help carry things out to the table as I dig them out. If you’d help her I’d be grateful.” My mother had started eyeing Sean once he offered to help. Chris had never offered to help and was often found in the corner somewhere watching tv or on his phone. I knew I’d be hearing about it later from the look on her face.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said as he picked up the containers of potato salad, cottage cheese and other sides she’d already pulled out. When he wasn’t looking, she gave me a big grin and a thumbs up.
“I’ll get the spoons,” I said as I shook my head at her. The last thing I needed was for her to try to push me toward someone that wasn’t my husband.
Walking outside I saw there were even more people than I originally thought. I smiled when I saw my grandma and grandpa talking to my dad by the grill. I smiled as we drew closer, the table where everything that was being set out wa not far from the grill.
“What are you doing here Grandma and Grandpa?” I asked as I hugged each of them. “I thought you were still in Wyoming!”
“We decided to take a little road trip. That’s one of the perks of driving your home everywhere!” Grandpa said as he laughed. It was an old joke he loved to make ever since they sold their house and started travelling the country in their motorhome. Whenever they got bored they’d move to a new place. They sent emails and were really good with social media, so we were able to keep up. Still, we didn’t get to see them in person very often.
Sean headed back to the kitchen to help my mom while I hugged my dad.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I said excitedly. “Have you seen Avery?” I turned and called for her and she came rushing up. “Look who it is!” I said to her.
She grinned and gave them joyful hugs with kisses on the cheek before running off again to play.
“She’s getting so big,” they both said.
“I know. Before long she’ll be ready for school,” I said. We talked for a while about what they had seen on the way here before Sean appeared at my side.
“This must be your husband,” Grandma said as she reached out and took his hand. “I don’t remember him being this tall, dark and handsome, Lily.” She smiled up at him and gave a sly wink.
“That’s not Chris,” I pointed out. “This is my friend, Sean.”
“Oh, my apologies,” she said. “Where’s Chris? Did you finally cut him loose?”
My dad started to choke on his drink at his mother’s bluntness. “Excuse me,” he said as he turned back toward the grill.
“No, he’s around here somewhere,” I said turning to scan the crowd. I knew he wouldn’t be out socializing yet, but I was trying to at least pretend. My dad snorted but tried to cover it up as a cough.
“So, Sean. What do you do?” my grandpa asked him, obviously trying to change the subject.
“Well, sir, I work with Patrick Speck on his farm for now,” he said.
“That’s hard work,” Grandpa said admiringly.
“Yes, sir. It is, but I think I prefer working with my hands.” I smiled at Sean who seemed so relaxed and at ease among people he didn’t know. Well, I’m sure there were a few he would know by the time everyone was here. But I knew my parents and grandparents had a way of making people nervous. I was glad to see he wasn’t one of them.
We all chatted for a bit longer, my mother eventually joining us.
“Mommy,” Avery said tugging on my skirt.
I turned and looked down at her. There were tears welling up in her eyes. “What, sweetie?”
“The boys said I can’t play basketball ‘cause I’m a girl,” she pouted. A single tear trickled down her cheek.
“What?” Sean asked from beside me. “That’s not nice of them!” He spoke in an exaggerated way that made Avery start to smile. He squatted down to look her in the eye. “I’ve got a frisbee in my truck. Do you know how to play frisbee?”
She shook her head, sad again.
“That’s okay, I’ll show you. As long as your mom says it’s okay.” He turned and looked up at me, giving me big puppy dog eyes.
“Please, Mommy,” she pleaded as she clasped her little fingers together. “Can Sean show me how to play freebie?”
“It’s frisbee, and yes. But you listen to everything he says, okay?”
She nodded. “I will.”
Both of them turned and headed around the house. I excused myself to go grab a drink. Truthfully, I wanted to find out what Chris was up to. I hadn’t seen him the whole time we were chatting and eat
ing. That was normally a very bad thing. Usually, I would have checked on him by now, but I was having such a great time I’d completely forgotten to keep an eye on him.
I refilled my glass before starting to head toward the den.
“What’s wrong?” my mother asked from behind me. She surprised me, I hadn’t realized she’d followed me.
“You startled me,” I said. “I thought I’d check on Chris. I haven’t seen him since we got here.”
“You know, if you need anything from your father and I, you only need to ask.” She came closer and touched my elbow.
“What do you mean?” I asked. I thought I knew what she was implying but I wouldn’t let her off that easily.
“You know what I mean. I know how you feel about having two parents for Avery. But I’m starting to feel like you have two children.” She crossed her arms in front of her and gave me a pointed look.
“He works hard and pays the bills. I wouldn’t be able to have my jewelry business if it wasn’t for him,” I objected. “He’s a little rough around the edges, but I love him.”
“I know, darling. I don’t mean to imply you don’t. But I want you to think about something. There is a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them. Sometimes you can love someone but you can’t be with them anymore. There are extremely toxic people out there that will suck the life out of you. You may not notice but everyone else will. They’ll see you growing sadder and sadder. I don’t want to watch that happen to you.” The sadness in her eyes struck me to the core. She wasn’t being flippant or mean, this was how she truly felt.
“Why are you bringing this up now?” I asked.
“I’ve seen the way Sean looks at you and how you look at him. You may not realize it, but he’s got some serious feelings for you. Tread lightly with him. He’s a good man, don’t hurt him,” she said pointing a finger at me. “I can just tell. He’s got a good heart, that one.”
Friends with benefits: Erotica Page 5