Her brows came together, as if she didn’t expect me to buy anything for our date. “What?”
I got up, retrieving the new DVD case from my room and handing it to her before sitting back down. Figured we’d put it on after the food got here. For now…for now, we could just talk.
“The Lion King?” Bree read the title, a teeny, tiny smile growing on her face as she looked at me, questioning.
“The live-action one,” I said. “You mentioned you never saw it, so…” I trailed off when she looked pensive. “What is it?” Did she already see it after she’d told me that? It had been a few weeks since then—she’d told me on one of our first get-togethers when we were working on our project.
Bree shook her head once, biting her bottom lip as she set the DVD case on her lap. “I just…I can’t believe you remembered that.”
“I listen to everything you say,” I told her, my voice lowering into a bare whisper. I sat beside her on the couch, and it took everything in me to not reach for her, to not hold her. “Everything, Bree.”
She ran a finger along the plastic covering the DVD. “Why?”
“How many times do I have to tell you that I like you?”
Bree’s green eyes snapped up at me, the color pink appearing on her cheeks at the boldness of my words. I wondered if, inside her chest, her heart was beating as fast as mine. “I…” She grew quiet, her next words barely audible. “I like you, too.”
That was it. I couldn’t sit here and not touch her, not after hearing those words come from her mouth.
I leaned over to her, pushing the DVD case off her lap as I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in. Her chest pressed against mine, my forehead leaning down upon hers as I whispered, “Is it okay if I kiss you?” Figured I’d ask this time, since last time I’d caught her off-guard. The last thing I wanted to do was scare this girl away.
Bree nodded once, her hands slow to wrap around my neck.
Not to waste a second more, I brought my lips down to hers, kissing her as softly as I could while still trying to show her how wild she made me feel, the passion and lust laced within every nerve of my body any time she was close. I was eager to show her, without words, how crazy I was about her, how much I needed her. I never wanted to let this girl go, never wanted to give up and let anyone else have her.
She was mine. She would always be mine. I’d fallen for her so quickly, it was impossible for me not to feel my heart racing in my chest as I leaned her back. The DVD case fell to the floor as I laid her on the couch under me, our mouths never disconnecting.
Oh, God. She felt so good under me, felt insanely good. Like, there were no words for it. Right now, I didn’t want to think, didn’t want to be in my own head or wonder where hers was at. I knew what I felt, and I wanted to show her.
There were no worries about Calum in my head right now, only her. Bree and everything she encompassed, and I hoped, in her head, it was the same. No Calum, just me.
My hands tangled in her hair, and as I leaned my body down on hers, my legs pinning hers down, I angled her head a bit better, ran my tongue along her lower lip. That same lip I always saw her nibbling. She shivered into me when my teeth grazed it, and I used the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth and devour her from the inside.
She was heaven. She was literally heaven on earth, and I had no idea why I’d never seen her before. Never really paid attention to the lonely girl with pink hair in the back of the class. She was life. She was the breath in my lungs. She was everything.
I think…I think I’d fallen in love with her without realizing it.
My body reacted to having hers under me. It wasn’t long before I felt an aching in my lower half, heat building there as blood rushed to make me hard. I probably shouldn’t have pressed my midsection so firmly against hers—for surely she’d feel the growing boner in my pants—but I was too lost in her, in the way her tongue felt dancing with mine and the soft moans she breathed straight into my lungs.
I could never get enough of her. Never. That was a promise, an oath to myself and to her. I wanted everything she had, over and over, everything she’d give me.
I was slow to pull my mouth off hers, staring down at her with eyes that were half open. She breathed hard, panting, her cheeks flushed and her lips parted slightly. Bree did not push me away, nor did she tell me to stop. The expression she wore was one of wanting, one of desire. She was never as wordy as I was, but I knew, right then, she wanted me, too.
Releasing my hold on her hair, I moved my hands to her neck, swiping the bits of hair off before bringing my mouth to that tender crook. I kissed her softly there once, eliciting a moan from her. My mouth roamed her neck, never staying in one place too long, kissing and sucking gently—I didn’t want to return her to her home full of hickeys, but it was hard to not lose my mind when it came to her, to just let my body take over and have her every which way.
She was everything and more, and I hoped I meant the same to her.
My hands trailed downward, even though I knew they probably shouldn’t. If I went too far with her, if I did too much, too fast, I might scare her away for good—and that was something I didn’t think I could handle. No, I needed this girl like I needed the air I breathed.
She was my air.
That was why I murmured against her throat, “Stop me if you feel uncomfortable, Bree.”
It was a moment before she breathed a heavy breath and whispered, “Okay.” Okay, she’d stop me. Okay, I could keep going, keep losing myself in her body and carry on.
Her single-word answer gave me gusto. My hands roamed over her chest, stopping to cup both breasts gently. Her chest was not overly huge, a huge rack on her small frame would surely not look right and only give her back problems in the future, but even so, they were perfect. Not overly large, but not small enough that they weren’t tangible through her shirt.
Was I the first man to touch her like this? Had Calum gone this far with her?
No. No, tonight was not about one-upping Calum. Tonight was about Bree and me, us getting to know each other and spending time alone. Tonight wasn’t about anyone else in the world, even if they were in this equation.
My mouth found hers again, kissing her harder this time, a bit rougher, more wild, and my hands roamed down, finding the hemline of her shirt before snaking their way back up to lightly touch the fabric of her bra. My erection was raging now, my dick wanting free, but I knew it would have to remain locked up for now. I doubted it would be seeing any action tonight—and if it did, it’d probably be from my own hand.
That was fine. Even though I wanted to be greedy, I knew I couldn’t be. Not when it came to Bree.
I did, however, slip my hands beneath the silky fabric of her bra and cup her bare breasts. Her skin was ridiculously soft, so soft I knew I’d be dreaming about it, about her, naked and under me, writhing in pleasure and lost to the whims of the flesh.
Bree tore her mouth off mine, turning her face to the side a bit, her eyes closed as she breathed hard. I watched her, pausing, my hands still cupping her breasts, and I waited, expecting her to tell me to stop, to tell me to pull off her and stop touching her like this. Maybe it was too much; maybe I was going too fast.
But she didn’t. Bree did not open her mouth and tell me to stop; the only thing she did was breathe like she couldn’t fill her lungs enough. Her smooth skin was on fire under me, and I took to watching her reactions as I started to play with the breasts in my hands.
Ran my palms over her nipples, made her sigh out a soft, sweet sound. Tweaked those nipples into hard points with my fingers, pinching and tugging, causing her to let out a moan that I felt vibrate in my core.
God, I wanted her. I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and carry her into my room, set her on my bed and take off every piece of clothing that hindered her body, and then do the same to me, stopping only when we were both naked and in each other’s arms, lost in one another.
Though I wanted to do
more, though I wanted to tear her clothes off and see her beautiful body naked, I knew I had to hold back. I did not want to reach the point where Bree had to stop me. With how she was, I didn’t know whether she’d have the heart to stop me, or if she’d let me do whatever and then hate herself afterward.
I didn’t want that.
So I didn’t let my hands go any lower than her stomach, didn’t move to take off her shirt or unhook her bra. I gave love to what I could with my mouth as I ignored the throbbing in my pants. Hopefully, in time, I would know what she felt like.
It was just my luck, though, that my phone rang.
I was content to ignore it, but Bree whispered, completely out of breath, “It might be the food.”
The…the what? The who? The…oh, yeah. Damn it. I totally forgot about the food and how I’d ordered it before all this. Bree really could do things to me, huh?
It was officially the last thing I wanted to do, but I had to: pull myself off her, take my hands out from under her shirt, and reach for my phone, answering it and hoping I didn’t sound too out of breath. “Hello?”
“Is this Mason?”
“Yeah,” I stumbled as I got off the couch, giving Bree my back. I glanced down, spotting the obvious hard-on raging beneath my jeans. Yeah, definitely would have to readjust myself before heading down there to accept the food and pay for it. “You here with the food? I’ll be right down.” No one who didn’t live in the building was allowed up the elevators, unless they were with a resident. That didn’t stop people from coming up anyways, but still.
After hanging up, I threw a look to Bree, watching as she slowly sat up and fixed her hair. Her cheeks were still red, her breathing still hard. Her shirt was bunched up, a testament to what I’d been doing before.
If only we could continue…
“I’ll be right back,” I said, giving her a smile before heading out. I stuck my head both ways down the hall and found no one else on this side of the floor was out. Good. The moment I stepped out, I adjusted myself, reaching into my pants and pulling my dick up, using the waistline of my jeans to keep it up and hide it, somewhat.
I mean, it was still sort of obvious, but it wasn’t as obvious as seeing a full-fledged bulge out of nowhere.
Luckily the delivery guy didn’t seem too interested in my crotch. He just wanted to swipe my debit card, get my signature, and leave after handing me the bag of food.
I took it upstairs, and got Bree something to drink from the fridge before putting in the movie. Sitting there and trying to eat while still having a hard-on was one the hardest things I’d ever had to do…pun unintended. The only thing I wanted to do right now was get back to what we were doing before, and get myself some relief.
Bree and I sat on the couch, eating and watching The Lion King. It wasn’t quite a normal date, but I knew Bree was anything but normal. Maybe that’s why I’d fallen for her so fast. I just…I wanted to make her life better, see that elusive smile more often. I wanted to make her feel loved and protected. That wasn’t so wrong, was it?
Now, when it came to the other half of her love life…I didn’t know what to do there. Bree wasn’t my girlfriend, so it wasn’t like I could force her to choose. What I wouldn’t give to be able to peek into her head and see where she was at, what she was thinking. Did she like me better, or did Calum have that in the bag?
I shouldn’t think about it. I really shouldn’t. Sooner or later, though, I knew this would have to come to a head.
Bree ate a little, which was more than I was expecting her to. She never seemed to eat much, which was probably why she was so skinny. After I was done wolfing down my food, we laid on the couch together, and I held her in my arms, against my chest, as we watched the movie.
This was what life could be like. This was what it should be. Bree and I, together, no other complications in the world.
I took her home later that night, and when I got back to my place, I went straight into the shower and pretended, just for a while, that I still had Bree here with me.
Chapter Fourteen – Bree
It was weird, to feel someone else’s hands on you, grasping and greedy, trying to memorize every part of you. Even weirder to go home and lay in bed, picturing it, remembering how it felt and wishing it didn’t have to end.
It was nice. Nice and weird. Mason was…I couldn’t even describe him. Gentle and rough at the same time, like he wanted to do so much more with me but was holding back. It was good that he did, though, because I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if he would’ve pushed me to do more.
I didn’t think I was ready for sex or anything below the belt, was I? I’d felt his hardness pressing against me, and if I was honest, I was kind of curious. What did it feel like? What would it be like if it was inside me? I knew what a dick looked like—I might be a twenty-year-old virgin, but I wasn’t completely naive. Still, I didn’t know. I just didn’t know.
I went to bed conflicted, and I woke up feeling just as conflicted, no shocker there.
It was as I was getting dressed that someone barged into my room, grinning like the Cheshire Cat himself. Or herself. I hurriedly pulled the sweater over my chest as I turned to face my sister. “You should’ve knocked,” I muttered. It was a damned good thing I already had my leggings on, otherwise she would’ve gotten a nice view of my ass.
“How was your alone time with Mason?” She got straight to the point; there was no beating around the bush where my sister was concerned.
“Fine” was all I said, mostly because I did not want to tell my sister every place Mason’s hands had found, everything he’d touched…everything he’d made me feel.
Wanting. He made me feel like I wanted everything and more.
Michelle folded her hands over her chest, cocking her hip with an attitude I knew was not faked. “Fine?” she echoed, lifting a single, freshly-plucked brow. “Just fine? Really? No details? That guy has the hots for you, majorly. He had to have tried something.”
“Michelle,” I whined out her name, “can’t you just take my word for it that it was fine?” The last thing I wanted to do was have a play-by-play with my little sister. She had a bunch more experience than me; I already felt inadequate when compared to her. I didn’t need any reminders of that.
She heaved a sigh. “Fine, fine. Keep your secrets.” Thankfully, she said nothing else as she spun on her heel and walked out of my room, finally leaving me be.
Leaving me be to…study, or whatever.
It wasn’t like I wanted to study, but I did have a test coming up in my psychology of aging class—not the psych class Mason and I shared, but another one. My class schedule was pretty full of those. Studying would get my mind off Mason and what happened last night, and the fact that I still hadn’t heard from Calum.
Who could’ve predicted this was where I’d be? Who could’ve known that I would be stuck between two guys who both made me feel things I never dreamed of feeling? It was unreal. Totally, completely unreal, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
This was why it was easier to be alone, easier to stand on the sidelines and watch other people attempt relationships. I shouldn’t be one of them. Mason and Calum might claim they liked me now, but it was only a matter of time before something happened, before my shiny newness wore off and they saw me past the rose-colored glasses they wore when they looked at me.
I wasn’t special. I was nothing, no one. Totally unimportant in every single way. I knew this, and sooner or later they would know this, too.
I ended up studying through lunch. Everyone in my family knew enough by now to leave me alone during the day on a weekend, and I let myself drown in the silence of my room. It was near one in the afternoon when I felt my willpower weaken. Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I checked my phone.
A message from Mason, nothing from Calum. My eyebrows came together, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Calum was already deciding he didn’t want to continue anything with me. I couldn’t blame him, and
I knew it’d been coming from the start, but…but I guess a part of me was hoping that this, whatever it was, would last just a little bit longer.
Day by day. I wanted to take it day by day and not pay any attention to the weight of the future.
No. You know what? That was fine. It was fine. I was prepared for this. I could handle this without breaking down completely.
At least, that’s what I thought, but still, my traitorous eyes started to tear up, anyway—like they failed to get the memo my mind had. I set my phone down, trying to push the tears back, not wanting to cry, for I knew that if I let the tears fall, my focus would be shot and I’d do nothing but wallow for the rest of the day.
I cried a lot, but I was smart enough to know I should never cry about a guy, especially one I wasn’t even dating. Not technically.
What were we doing? If we weren’t dating, we had to be doing something.
Ugh, either way, did it matter? Calum was obviously done with me, and Mason…Mason would get tired of me, too. No one would ever want to stick around. I wasn’t worth it.
I closed my eyes, leaning my head on my desk. I remained there for a while, a long while, and as I stayed there with my head bent, I struggled to get my emotions under control. It sucked, because I knew this would happen from the beginning. I’d told myself not to get emotionally involved, and what did I do? I went and let my heart get the better of me, anyways. Stupid, stupid. How could I have been so stupid?
When I finally lifted my head, I saw that I had a missed call from Calum, and I wondered if he somehow knew I was thinking about him. If, subconsciously, he knew I was giving up, trying to cut myself off from the source and protect the fragile heart residing in my chest.
Or maybe he was just calling me to say goodbye.
I guess I would never know, because he hadn’t left a voicemail. With a sigh, I grabbed my phone and tossed it off my desk. It landed on my bed with a small bounce, too far from my fingertips to be of any use to me. Out of sight, out of mind. That’s what they said, wasn’t it?
Sounds of Silence: A Contemporary Romance Page 16