She steeled herself.
You never do anything brave.
Except once, with Wrexel and that didn’t work out very well!
She set that aside and found the small hole to open the wall once again. She stepped inside and repeated the exit.
Her adventure of searching was ready to begin.
She glanced down at her wrist monitor and saw that Leyahanna would return in a half hour. Not enough time to do a proper search but she still felt alive and excited when she made her way back to Wrexel’s wing.
She was proud of herself for finding the entrance and also pleased that after days of lonely agonizing she had exhausted the mental runaround about the experience and set it to rest. Her new resolve was that even if Lilith’s ramblings were not connected to the Sanbara, she could not deny what had happened. Even though Staede did not hear them speak, if she didn’t find confidence in herself to accept that it really happened the way she remembered, her spiral into insanity had won. Lilith hovered incessantly until she came to this conclusion and then, as if pleased, she had drifted away and not plagued her since.
* * *
Unfortunately, her resolve to start her search immediately was thwarted, for Leyahanna was glued to her side on the following day. The royals were also set to return and Leyahanna advised that both Whyle and Shihlo had indicated they would visit her. “It is customary after fighting to reconnect with family,” Leyahanna said as she busied herself preparing a tray of treats.
Her words surprised Amber. Shihlo and Whyle were always kind and cordial, but the idea that they considered her family was unexpected.
She was even more astonished when her first visitor arrived in the form of Rix. She confessed almost immediately to Amber that her goal was to change all the perceptions people had of her. She begged for forgiveness for her drunken behavior when they met and was so genuine and sincere, Amber hugged her. Rix was uncomfortable with the gesture but her shy smile showed she was pleased to be accepted. She told Amber that the two weeks upon Earth with the Yimmyrd Revan had changed her in meaningful ways and Amber believed it was true.
Her entire demeanor was different. She spent the rest of her visit talking about the war they had just fought and how Wrexel had stayed behind to realign his troops and deal with injuries. “He will be back in two days,” she assured as if he were missed.
Amber merely nodded.
She didn’t miss him.
No, strike that; she shouldn’t miss him.
Amber was touched that her visit was followed with a cordial one from Whyle. She loved his intellect, the way he sometimes spoke with passion about a new invention he was working on, only to trail off, his gaze distant as if he were considering some new idea or scheme. He would cough and laugh in embarrassment when this happened and she would giggle, telling him he was a nutty professor, which he didn’t understand but promised to watch with her one day. He worked on her monitor to bring her more movies and television shows that were being rerun on Rheese without her ever asking, and he programmed her monitor to support a few games she used to play on Earth when she was bored.
She was still smiling to herself over Whyle’s visit when Shihlo arrived with his adorable sons, who were wickedly mischievous and totally out of his control.
She took them to her park and sat under the tree with her brother-in-law while they ran wildly around her running track. Amber laughed when Shihlo lay on the grass with a groan and confessed he was losing a discipline battle.
“I swear, Amber, I would rather fight the 104 than deal with another tantrum.” He grimaced. “I’ve lost five nannies in one month; they actually set one on fire.”
Amber bit back a smile; she knew Shihlo had opted to keep his sons with him instead of enrolling them in a Thromian military school. They lived with their father on the governing island of Illohi.
“It’s a difficult age, Shihlo; they will grow out of it,” she said hopefully as she watched one five-year-old twin throw his brother into her fish pond.
“Uncle Wrexel built that for Amber and will thrash you for ruining it,” he yelled and they begrudgingly climbed out of the pond to race around the track again.
Amber had watched “Uncle Wrexel” tie his nephews to a chair during one visit after they took his favored wrist monitor apart, so the threat was viable.
Shihlo glanced around the park and then at her. “I can’t believe he built this,” he said, glancing at her curiously.
Amber looked around the park and nodded, not quite believing it herself.
“His affection for you… is unprecedented.”
“It’s not affection, Shihlo.”
“If it were only sex, he would have released you already,” Shihlo said and then frowned when she flushed.
“We’re not sleeping together.”
“God, then everything about your relationship is unprecedented.” He chuckled.
“I’m sure that’s why he built the park, to get me to be more… obliging,” She said miserably.
* * *
Shihlo sat up. “You’re wrong there, Amber. Wrexel isn’t Staede, don’t get me wrong, but he is fully capable of seducing a woman, especially one who wants him in return.”
She grimaced.
“I’m not being crude, but you know what we can scent, Amber. There’s no point in denying what you feel for him, what we all know you feel for him. If Wrexel merely wanted you in his bed, that’s where you would be right now, no matter how much you want to deny it,” he said honestly. “This park.” He looked around. “Is Wrexel wanting more than you beneath him.”
Thromians and their blatant honesty about sexuality made her blush, but his words bothered her more because they secretly thrilled her.
“I know the start to this was weird, but if you could get past it, I think you would find a very exciting lover and more in my psychotic brother. For however long this affair lasts.”
Amber ignored his words, for they bothered her in so many ways. “He really does vex you, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah.” Shihlo’s look darkened. “It’s his unpredictability that worries me. I’ve never had a handle on his choices and reactions. I know what to expect from Staede and Whyle, but Wrexel is a law unto himself.”
He spotted his sons trying to systematically destroy one of her trees and leapt up. “I guess it’s time to leave.” He marched over to the imps who ran in opposite directions with cackling laughter.
Once he had rounded them up, he promised to visit again soon and she smiled eagerly, dropping to her knee to receive a polite kiss on her cheeks from the two angelic-looking demons that were Shihlo’s life.
The royals seemed to understand her loneliness and their kindness wasn’t lost on her. Leyahanna’s comment about visiting family after a fight stuck with Amber, and she had to shake herself because a small part of her was growing fond of them. This worried her. It wouldn’t bode well once she left.
Her life in Four Wings was temporary and she would do well to remember it.
* * *
In the evening, Amber wondered if she would be able to escape Leyahanna in the early hours of the following morning or perhaps much later that night to start her search in the catacombs. Wrexel had left a message that he would return the following day for the full moon preparations, and tomorrow night would be full as they faced the upcoming celebrations and vote.
Her excitement at finding the orb bolstered her frail bravery and she was eager to get started. She wondered if Staede would be back that night or early the next day. She didn’t want him to catch her in the catacombs and was depending on a Thromian free morning now that Whyle and Shihlo had visited.
She was certain Leyahanna knew of Staede’s whereabouts. She seemed to keep herself abreast of his plans so that she could keep Amber away.
“Do the 104 attack often?” she asked Leyahanna nonchalantly.
“Always, my lady. The Watch Towers on each planet slow their efforts and weaken their resources but they never give
up. They hate the Federated Eight in Diogel; they want our planets for their own. Some are merely cruel warlords of mayhem with no plans other than to fight and destroy. There has been a rise in Sketchi of late. It’s their breeding season and they have become brave in their attempts to find females.”
Amber shuddered, remembering Wrexel’s brief on the creatures that had made liberal attempts to enter Diogel in the last few years.
“Is Wrexel fighting them with Staede?” She hoped the question seemed contextual.
“No, my lady, two separate missions. The attackers tried to enter via Hynafolian airspace and Illohi. The brothers were fighting two wars and were dispersed.”
Leyahanna showed immediate disapproval. “You really should not spend time with Staede. His reputation is legendary; he is a ruthless playboy with no emotion.”
She had told Amber this many times before.
“I find him quite charming,” argued Amber.
“Exactly,” said Leyahanna with dismay. “He has perfected seduction like an art form… you would do better to focus on your relationship with Wrexel.”
Amber soured. “There is no relationship, Leyahanna, there is an abductor and an abductee.” Leyahanna made a face that looked like she was rolling her eyes and Amber was indignant.
“A blind person would not miss the way you look at each other. He treats you with absolute kindness and concern.” Leyahanna sniffed and then, as she rose haughtily, added, “Wrexel is extremely sought-after; you would do well to remember that when you reject him.”
“Well, I wish he would take up other offers,” Amber snapped as the Gweithi picked up their used glasses. She folded her arms when Leyahanna left the room. The argument wouldn’t last. Leyahanna sometimes had tart things to say, but she always returned to the room with a smile as if nothing had occurred.
Sought-after!
Like she cared.
Wrexel could take a string of lovers… it would merely hasten the end of their relationship.
This was what she really wanted.
* * *
She pressed aside the feeling that rose up within her chest. It was not jealousy. She glanced down at her wrist monitor and saw that it was extremely late. She should have been sleeping. No wonder she was antsy with the poor Gweithi.
She went to the window, intending to drop down the closure when the sound of music reached her ears. Not Earth music but strangely reminiscent of techno with its incessant beat.
Amber hadn’t partied much. Meeting Travis so young and trying to be a serious student so that her father didn’t label her a psychopath in need of an institution had taken up all her time. Partying had never been an option, but the one time she went out with her classmates came to mind. She smiled at the memory of swaying in the dark to mind-numbing music with a drink in hand. She walked around to their lounging area balcony and peered out into the night until her eyes were drawn down to a lower balcony on Staede’s wing. She leaned over and tried to see more as the music drifted up to her ears and then grimaced with frustration when she could see nothing but flashing lights bursting into the dark night.
Leyahanna came out with her usual sweet disposition and leaned over with Amber.
“He must be back,” she said with irritation.
Amber peered down once again and then turned to Leyahanna. “I want to go down to a lower balcony and see what he’s doing.”
“Why?” Leyahanna looked alarmed.
“Oh come now, Leyahanna, have you never spied on anybody before? It’s not like we’re going to the party; we’re just going have a peek at what they’re up to.”
“It’s late,” Leyahanna said stubbornly.
“I’m so bored, Leyahanna… I don’t want to sleep. Maybe I should call Staede,” Amber said innocently.
“Okay, we will go and spy for a few minutes.” Leyahanna looked exasperated, as if she was stuck with a rebellious and willful charge.
Amber felt a little guilty, for there was no way she would have called Staede but she was restless, in no mood to retire, and highly curious to see how Thromians enjoyed themselves
27
Lust
Leyahanna looked irritated, but she walked down a few more corridors until they came to the right elevator. “Just a few minutes and then we come back,” she said as they stepped inside.
Amber nodded as they moved down and then to the side and then down again. The motion was fluid but the way in which elevators moved in Four Wings was still amazing to her.
They filtered out onto the dark balcony and grimaced when automatic lighting came on, especially when Amber saw they were now directly in line with Staede’s party. Leyahanna rushed to the setting and managed to dim it slightly but no matter how many buttons she pressed and fiddled with, the light would not go out completely. Amber didn’t care. She could see across the courtyard into Staede’s wing that the gathering was in full swing. Nobody would notice what was happening on a lonely terrace across the way.
It was crowded with Thromians, all sporting Staede’s blue uniform – obviously a celebratory return of some kind, she thought. She squinted for a closer view and saw that there were some colonials in attendance too. The bodies blended into one another because of her distance and because there was very little room to move, let alone dance. They were making a sterling effort, however. The music was louder now that she was close, and she sat on the balcony ledge listening to the unfamiliar beat and the loud, raucous laughter and talking that drifted across the way. She experienced a wave of sadness, realizing she had just swapped locations. She was still far away from normal society, voyeuristically watching gatherings that she would never attend.
Leyahanna came to her side. “I can’t switch the lights off. We should go back.”
“Why? I’m watching from a safe distance,” Amber argued but when she saw Leyahanna’s alarmed stare, she followed her gaze to Staede out on his balcony, staring across at her with a wicked grin upon his handsome face. He raised a glass to her and nodded his head. Amber raised two fingers to wave, slowly lowering them when Leyahanna’s urgent stare went from Staede to her.
“Now we go back,” she demanded and Amber nodded miserably, sorry that her voyeuristic evening plans were spoilt.
Staede returned inside, and she sighed wistfully, still feeling restless and definitely too wired to sleep.
“Staede has gone back to his party, so we can stay?” she suggested, but the Gweithi was firm. “If he is back on Throm, Wrexel will soon follow; you should go up and wait for him.”
Amber’s mouth turned down, and she stood up reluctantly.
“Perhaps you can ask Wrexel to take you to a party,” Leyahanna suggested kindly.
Amber gave a grunt. “I don’t think Wrexel is the partying kind.”
She didn’t actually know what he did for fun besides come home and trail his fingers over her until she was close to begging him for more, or surprise her with nice things that made her rethink her growling. The thought of him being sought after as Leyahanna claimed came to mind again and she pressed it down.
She didn’t care.
* * *
The elevator light came on and it slid open to reveal Staede, shirt open, two cocktail glasses in his hand and a lecherous smile. Leyahanna gasped in outrage as Amber’s heart jumped. “These are private encoded elevators…” she began, but he shushed her and stepped out, extending the glass to Amber.
“Relax, Gweithi, I am merely bringing Amber a drink. Run along; I will send her back up when we're done.”
“Wrexel will not…” Leyahanna began, but he quieted her again. “Wrexel is still away.”
He handed Amber the glass and propelled Leyahanna to the elevator. “I will return her shortly; go and sleep. You seem tired from all your obsessive controlling.” He pushed her and reached for the elevator button simultaneously.
In two quick motions, the doors closed on Leyahanna’s desperate face.
Staede turned his attention back on Amber and held ou
t his glass for a toast, his eyes gleaming with mischief. Amber smiled, for it was very hard not to respond to Staede, and clinked her goblet against his. Taking a liberal sip, she sighed at the sweet taste. When his gaze began to roam over her shorts and T-shirt, she turned away and looked at his party.
“Celebrating something?” she asked.
“No deaths.” He grimaced, but the grin was back almost instantly. “I didn’t think of you as the voyeuristic kind.”
Amber flushed.
If only he knew.
“I was bored. Do you have colonials in there?”
“Whores from the planet of Hynafol,” he said without missing a beat. She coughed and hid her distaste with another sip.
She finished the liquid and then held out the glass to him. “I better go back.”
He looked at the extended goblet but did not take it. “Or you could come over for a while?” He raised one eyebrow.
“It’s not safe. The Monarch is still after me and I don’t think your party is something that I should be at.”
“First, that’s a fully Blue party. All my most loyal men are in attendance; you would be safer there than here. Second, how do you know it’s not for you unless you go and see?”
Amber looked across at the crowd who laughed and danced, and tried to quell her longing. “I’m not dressed for a gathering and I don’t think Leyahanna’s heart will stand me going upstairs and changing. No, I’ve had my fun for the night.”
“I’m impressed.” Staede finished his own drink. “My brother has you well-trained within a few weeks, like your dog.”
Amber lost her smile.
“I am not trained,” she snapped, but he interrupted her.
“Your clothes are perfect. You’re overdressed in comparison to the colonials who are there. Come with me for a short while. I’ll have you in bed, dutifully on your back for Wrexel within two hours.”
AMNESIA Page 35