AMNESIA

by Canada Jackson

* * *

  Amber had no pity for Baerra, who would have to find inventive ways to rearrange her hair while she was left with a broken heart that would never repair.

  Shihlo’s face slowly returned to his gentle beauty, and he looked at her forlornly.

  “Amber…” He reached for her but she stepped back.

  “Why would he do this?” She wanted Shihlo to reassure her, tell her it wasn’t true, but Baerra would not have sworn on her house and Leyahanna would not have run away sobbing.

  Wrexel… was unpredictable.

  They had all warned her of this many times.

  Shihlo looked perplexed. “I don’t know, Amber… I never know what is going on in Wrexel’s mind… I’m as confused as you are.” He tugged her to him and she sobbed against his chest until her throat was raw.

  “I think we should hear his side,” he said through gritted teeth. “Maybe there is more to this story.”

  ‘No.” She pulled out of his grasp. “You will not discuss this with him. Do not give him the opportunity to remind me that he said he would never love me… that this was an agreement that would end…”

  “Amber…”

  “Swear it on your house, Shihlo. Please, be a Thromian who does not hurt me. Allow me time to consider how to handle this… please!”

  He cursed but promised and then remained with her while she cried.

  Wrexel cheating on her was something that had never crossed her mind. He was too focused on her, too obsessed.

  Now, faced with his unfaithfulness, Amber shuddered with a pain that was more soul-destroying than her abduction.

  He slowly broke her down and did exactly what he promised.

  He made her want him, and worse, he made her love him.

  Now that he had everything, he had become bored.

  * * *

  When Shihlo left her to return to her room, she raced to the bathroom and sobbed until she threw up.

  Wrexel told her all along that he neither wanted nor needed her love. He scorned love, feared it; perhaps her showing him affection had set it off?

  Or maybe he had just been tempted?

  If he was tempted now, when their affair was at its peak, what would he be like down the line? When the body that he coveted grew old.

  She touched the pledge band at her neck and remembered her conversation with Staede.

  “What if she has two husbands? The necklace is reset and the three join hands to close it.”

  The necklace meant nothing; Thromian marriages could change in a day.

  She was his conquest, one he wasn’t prepared to let go because it would be conceding defeat to Staede.

  He wanted to keep her oblivious and have affairs on the side.

  Amber’s love fizzled and died.

  Her initial hatred for him returned, stronger than ever. She experienced a new kind of loathing for him that grew from the realization she would never be able to trust him. She had become complacent. She had adjusted to Throm and loved her new life.

  A life that was over.

  She wondered if he would admit it and release her. She did not think that would happen. He wanted the best of both worlds.

  His cruelty went beyond the norm.

  His ability to deceive and ensnare was profound.

  He was evil.

  Despicable.

  She wanted to hurt him. Hurt him as he had hurt her.

  Devious bastard.

  When it came down to it… he was no better than Staede.

  At least Staede was honest about who and what he was.

  40

  Illicit

  Staede frowned when Amber walked into the gym later that evening for their planned session. She tried to pull out of it but he missed her and insisted she come.

  “Feeling antsy, missing your husband, and needing some energy expending?”

  She merely shrugged and strapped on her gloves. “Ready?”

  She took her position.

  “Have you been crying?” Staede frowned. “Why are your eyes so red? We will get Inndra back, do not worry.”

  “Are you here to fix my makeup or to work out?” she snapped.

  “Ah… trouble in paradise. Hubby didn’t kiss you bye?” he snorted.

  “I don’t want to talk about Wrexel.”

  “Really. By the way, I never got to compliment you on your new necklace.”

  She tugged at it as she had done all day, but it needed two hands.

  “Can you take it off?” She offered her neck; they were the same blood, so maybe it would work.

  “No can do. You know that band is enchanted; the man who tries to remove it will be cursed.” Staede held up his hands. “I’ve been cursed enough.”

  “I don’t want to wear it,” she cried. “It means nothing.”

  “It took two of you to put it on; if you didn’t want it, you should have said so straight away. You’ve never been able to show restraint when my brother puts anything on you,” he taunted her.

  Amber flew at him in outrage, surprising him by kicking his ankle with more force than she had ever used. He stumbled in surprise and she dropped on top of him, holding the practice sketh at his throat.

  “Whoa.” He held her in place. “What’s going on? What did you fight with your spouse about? Not that I mind.” He shifted her so that she sat across his groin area and gave her the “what you gonna do about it” look that he always did.

  “I hate Wrexel. He’s not my husband; he’s my jailer, my soul destroyer.” Her voice broke, and she blinked against the tears that threatened to rise to the fore.

  Staede grimaced and moved her forward to his waist. “Settle down, Amber.” His voice went low with irritation. “This is the last thing we need with all that’s going on.” When she continued to cry, he sighed and rolled his eyes. “Why did you fight?” he asked gently as she remained sitting upon him, her shoulders slumped, her hands across her stomach as she fought against the wrenching anxiety and pain.

  “I don’t want to talk about it, Staede. I came here to forget for a while.” Her voice wavered unsteadily.

  He continued to stare up at her with a frown but when she ran the back of her hand over her cheek to wipe away a fresh set of tears with a loud sob, he bristled with anger.

  “Fine, I’ll call him myself.” He began to lift her from him but the desolate moan that tore from her lips made him sit up and take her into his arms instead.

  “What did he do?” he asked gently.

  Amber opened her mouth and then broke down in wracking sobs that had him holding her to his chest. “My God, Amber, calm down. What did he do?” he demanded angrily. “Tell me now!”

  “I came to realize… that he doesn’t love me… and never will.” The words left her in a strangled sound. Staede did not comfort her with declarations of the opposite; he stared at her with pity instead.

  “You don’t even look surprised,” she cried.

  Staede looked away as if he didn’t want to hurt her any more than she already was. “Amber… Wrexel is an enigma. I don’t think he would ever intentionally hurt you and if you are upset because he will not say ‘I love you,’ my advice is to get over it. It’s not something Thromians say, and it’s definitely not something Wrexel would say.”

  “I am nothing more than his captive… a toy… that he has become tired of. He doesn’t want me anymore.”

  Staede frowned. “No.” He shook his head after a few moments. “He couldn’t possibly.” He dropped his hands from her shoulders. “God, Amber, do you know how hard it was for me to watch you both at the full moon arena the other night?” he said raggedly. “I’ve never seen him like that… he may not be saying it but that doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling it.”

  His face fell with disappointment. “If I believed for one moment that my brother wasn’t in love with you, I would be rejoicing right now, but it just isn’t true.”

  He lifted his fingers to stroke her cheek but seemed to change his mind. His hand balled into a fis
t and then dropped at his side. “Whatever this argument was about, it will blow over,” he said gruffly. “Go back upstairs, call him, sort this out.”

  He stood up and lifted her to her feet. “We will exercise tomorrow.”

  “He’s moved on, Staede… he’s taken another lover,” she said softly.

  “What…” He looked as if somebody had slapped him.

  “No.” He still kept his distance from her. “You’re mistaken.”

  “She told me… swore on her house.” Amber remembered the moment with renewed pain. “When I was with Whyle the other night, she was with him. Leyahanna caught them too.”

  * * *

  Staede reeled with the news, but then he moved toward her and grasped her shoulders as he searched her face. He still could not accept her words.

  “God, I can’t believe it.”

  They stood in silence as he digested all she had said, “I used to long for this day, Amber… the thought of you coming to me to say it’s over.”

  His breath left him in a shudder. “It kept me going. When I saw how he was with you the other night, I set that all aside… I told myself it would never happen… you would always belong to him. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t told you. Perhaps he doesn’t want to open the door for me, but even for Wrexel that is unbelievably cruel and I don’t understand… it’s not like him at all.” His gaze became more confused as he reached for different conclusions.

  When she continued to look at him in agony, he slowly shook his head at her with bitter regret stamped across his face. “I’m the wrong one to seek sympathy from… you’re standing here with a broken heart and all I can think of is that you may be free… that there’s a chance for us.”

  * * *

  She looked up at him through a blur of tears. She could always rely on Staede for honesty. She knew exactly where she stood with him.

  “I wish I had fallen in love with you instead, Staede… at least with you I wouldn’t have thought of a love that may last forever. I would have enjoyed what we had, knowing when it was done, you would tell me… I would have...”

  She broke off when he clasped her face between his hands, staring at her desperately, his own voice caught in his throat. “If you were in love with me, this would never happen… I would never give you up, Amber. I would never … because I am not afraid to admit that I love you.”

  She moaned with agony at his admission and looked up at him with her own love.

  * * *

  Staede could not hold back. He dragged her to him and took her mouth with his own, kissing her with every pent-up need he had hidden for months, showing her his torment and desperation laced with a small measure of hope that maybe what was currently a nightmare for them both could become something special. Amber clung to him, knowing that she loved him too. Not like she loved Wrexel. She would never love another like she had loved Wrexel, but the kiss was so bittersweet. So special in its own strange way that she didn’t stop him until it was too late.

  * * *

  The growl that echoed across the room was savage.

  Amber gasped and stepped back, staring at Staede and then Wrexel in horror.

  Wrexel stood at the entrance to their gym with Whyle at his side. They were both looking at her in outrage.

  Wrexel charged forward.

  The crunch that resounded as he and Staede collided was almost deafening. Whyle joined in the tussle, yelling for him to remain calm, which was a waste of breath as he ended up thrown out of the violent scrimmage.

  He reached for Amber instead, who looked as if she were struck by lightning.

  “Get Shihlo!” Whyle roared at her, throwing himself back in the mix, trying his best to keep the brothers apart and failing miserably.

  Through her wrist monitor, Amber summoned Shihlo with an urgent call. Within minutes, he was there, entering the room to the sound of Amber’s screams and the sight of Wrexel and Staede bleeding as they tore into each other with their fists and claws unsheathed.

  Close behind him was Revan, who had been in council with Shihlo, his eyes wide with surprise. Whyle grasped Staede under the shoulders and dragged him back while Shihlo did the same with Wrexel but the brothers were pumped with adrenaline. With the smell of blood and rage in the air, they broke away and smashed viciously into each other again.

  Suddenly a hum filled the room and both Staede and Wrexel were surrounded by Revan’s blue whip, freezing them in place. They strained against the thick light but could not break free of its power.

  Their chests heaved, but their limbs were immobile. All that remained were their snarls and curses until Revan seized their tongues, too, leaving nothing but the sound of heavy breathing.

  “What the fuck is going on?” Shihlo demanded.

  “Ask Amber,” Whyle said bitterly. “She was kissing Staede like her life depended on it when we got here.”

  Shihlo turned to Amber. He saw her clutching her neck in shock and pain looking from one brother to another.

  He cursed viciously.

  “I thought you had more sense! I give you my support always, but this was no way to solve your anger with Wrexel.”

  “I wasn’t… I was…” She felt her throat constrict, powerless to explain what had occurred, unable to look at Wrexel without thinking of him doing so much more with Baerra than her strange little kiss.

  Revan stood quietly observing. One hand extended with no effort or strain; he held the brothers in place, curiosity etched upon his face. “What would you have me do?” he asked when he saw Amber looked ready to faint.

  “I suggest you release Staede,” said Shihlo, “who will leave quietly. Otherwise, use your ability to stun him and we will carry him out.”

  Revan released Staede. He leered at Wrexel murderously but with Revan’s whip still close by, he slowed his breathing and anger.

  “This isn’t over,” he hissed and with a glance at Amber that nobody interpreted, he left the room.

  When he was gone, Revan set Wrexel free. For a moment, he looked determined to shift his fury to the Yimmyrd, but he turned to Shihlo instead.

  “Please give me some privacy with my wife.” His voice was deadly calm.

  Shihlo’s eyes narrowed. “If you hurt so much as a hair on her head, I’ll ask Revan to put you out for a year.”

  “Noted,” Wrexel said through gritted teeth.

  Shihlo and Whyle looked at Amber. Seeing her chin jut out and her shoulders lift in determination, they decided to leave her and Wrexel to resolve their disaster.

  * * *

  The walk back to their living quarters was quick but quiet. As they entered the privacy of their lounge, Wrexel ordered Dionys from the wing, then swirled her around to face him.

  “Did he come on to you? Did I misread what I saw?”

  Wrexel’s eyes were black with rage and he did not move from the spot just inches away from her. Amber took a deep breath and at that moment, hurting him seemed like a salve to her gaping wound.

  He was obviously ready for more lovers, but he still did not like the idea of sharing her. This was how she would hurt him, like he had hurt her.

  “You mistook nothing. I want to be with Staede.” She saw the shock and then the pain flash across his features.

  “What?” Wrexel looked confused for a second, as if he had misheard.

  “You heard me.”

  “You want Staede?” He choked out the words.

  When she nodded, Wrexel’s face drained of color.

  The sound of his voice was one she had not heard before. “Shall I call him back and then the three of us can retire to our bedroom?”

  “I’d prefer being alone with him.” Amber’s tone was haughty, but her determination was fading as Wrexel’s face twisted in a way that frightened her.

  The world stood still at that moment, with neither of them saying or doing anything. Then his anger broke free.

  The sound he emitted was animalistic, and the fear she should have felt all along suddenly took ho
ld. She darted for the door, but he caught her by the arm, wrenching her around to face him.

  “Have you been with him before tonight? Have you been playing with me… paying me back for taking you against your will?” he demanded desperately.

  “You said you would tire of me. Well, I guess I got tired first. Besides, Rheese will be under Rak control soon; you have nothing over me anymore.”

  Wrexel staggered away from her, his breath coming out in short, shocked bursts.

  “No.” He shook his head in disbelief.

  “No,” he said again and then the third time he yelled it so loudly that it echoed off the walls.

  Amber faltered when his face twisted into dark, demonic fury. She wasn’t sure if he would strike her or hunt down Staede to kill him.

  He summoned two of his guards instead.

  Amber flushed with shame as they entered the room and eyed her. She swung her back on them and waited to hear what Wrexel was going to say.

  Horror coursed through her that he may dump her on Rheese.

  “I wish you to take the Gweithi Leyahanna and the dog to a holding cell,” he said to them. “I will decide their fate tomorrow.”

  Amber jerked with shock and screamed. She ran forward as the Guards left to do as told and slammed her fists into his chest. Wrexel caught both her hands in one of his own.

  “Lock my wing,” he shouted over his shoulder and then returned his contorted face to her. “No one, not even family, is to be granted entry.”

  She gasped back tears of horror and anger, struggling against the tight hold he had on her.

  His voice was gruff and his face was so close to hers, they shared the same air. “At what point did you start to think that things had changed between us… that I had lost my desire to have you… as mine and mine alone? The man who took you from your fiancé is still here. I don’t want you as madly and insanely as the first day I saw you,” he said viciously. “I want you as my own even more.”

  He began to shake in a way that alarmed her and Amber gasped when the odor of burning wire reached her nose. She heard a crackle in her ear and then, to her horror, she saw the green tendrils of magic winding liberally around his body.