by J. J. Dean
Instinctively, my hands move towards the chalice that holds the deep ruby liquid. The Keeper nods, and the crystal bowl disappears. She steps back once I have the chalice in hand and whispers, "Drink."
With an acceptance I feel in my bones, I lift the chalice to my lips and pour the liquid into my mouth, my eyes closing slowly as I drink the very last drop. When my eyes open again, the Keeper has vanished, and a woman with long blonde hair stands with her back to me.
And then everything goes black.
Chapter 22
Novia
With a swift inhale, I come back to myself. The fog before me thins and falls to the floor like it was when I first found myself surrounded by nothing. The same tickling sensation is the only warning I have before the mist pours from my ear and joins with the rest hovering just above the ground. My body is shaking, from the cold or from what I saw, I don't know, but I'm forced to clamp my jaw shut to prevent my teeth clattering together.
I wrap my arms around my stomach and crouch low, breathing in and out slowly through my nose while I stave off the fresh round of tears I can feel teetering at the edge of my eyelids.
"I'm so sorry, baby girl," the same voice as before whispers. The voice doesn't come to me in my head this time. Instead, it comes from behind me.
I know who the voice belongs to before I even turn, having heard her talking in the projection with my dad. Like I'm moving in slow motion, I turn, and my eyes find the woman who sacrificed herself for me. There she stands with the same white shirt and grey leggings, clean and tidy. Her hair is loose, cascading in straight lines over her chest, and her eyes are a more vibrant green than they'd been in the projection. My tears immediately fall, and a sob catches in my throat.
"Mom?" I choke out, dropping my arms to my sides.
"It's me, honey. It's really me." She gives me a sad smile, and her eyes are filled with warmth even though they're swimming in tears.
That smile has me running until I crash into her, my arms wrapping around her with an iron-like grip. I feel her arms wrap around me in return, holding me tightly to her chest while I release twenty-three years worth of guilt, grief, and sadness.
My body is wracked with sobs, but my mom holds me close, rubbing a hand over my back and smoothing her fingers through my hair while whispering soft comforts into my head. This is what I've been missing my entire life. A mother who will comfort me when my heart hurts, when it feels like a meteor has crashed into my world with only destruction in mind. Dad was the best dad I could have ever hoped for, truly the greatest, but there's something about a mother's love and comforting embrace that differs from a father’s. My dad gave killer hugs, but breaking while my mom holds me is something else entirely. I've lived all my life without this, without her, and I didn't realise how much I needed her until now.
I have no idea how long I stand in my mother’s embrace, but it doesn't matter because she's here right now, holding me while I fall apart. It takes some time for me to calm down, but when I do, I back away reluctantly, keeping a hold of her hand since I'm not ready to lose contact with her entirely.
I sniffle as my eyes dart up to see her smiling genuinely as she looks me over. "You grew up to be beautiful. You have your papa’s... well, I don't think you inherited anything from your pa'. You look like me when I was younger. Which makes me sound conceited, I suppose."
My laugh comes out as a surprise, and she grins at me. "Ah, there it is. You have your pa's laughter. That infectious kind of laugh that you can't help but grin to or join in with."
I chuckle, followed by another sniffle, and tell her, "Dahlia always said I reminded her of Dad when I laughed."
"Your sister was very right. Seems you've got your mama's looks, though. Look at this hair." She reaches out to brush some of my wavy blonde strands. "I guess these waves come from your father. Nana used to have hair like yours. And those eyes. You're a looker, baby girl."
She cups my face gently in her hands and I give her a watery smile. She brushes her thumbs over the apples of my cheeks and says, "I've missed you so much."
Even though I never got to meet her before she was pulled from my world, I've missed her. Missed the idea of her, longing for my mother to return. "I missed you too, Mama."
She pulls me into another tight embrace, one I'm all too happy to return and bask in, but it's over too soon. She pulls away, holding my shoulders while she looks me over once more. "Alright, honey. I can't keep you here for very long, so I'll tell you what I need to. You've been here too long as it is."
Panic spikes in my chest, and my heart hammers under my rib cage. I can't leave her yet. I just got to see her with my own eyes for the first time.
As though she can read my mind, she says, "I want to stay longer. I want to keep you a while longer, but this place wasn't made for you. The living plane needs you, honey. I can only keep you for as long as it takes me to explain, and then you need to wake up. Those men of yours are already worrying."
The mention of the guys has my heart hiccupping and a different sort of panic settling inside me. I don't want them to worry about me.
With a reluctant nod, I tell her, "Okay, I understand."
"I knew you would," she says, giving me a wink and sitting on the blackened floor, the mist fanning away from her as she does. I follow her, sitting cross-legged opposite her. "I won't waste time tiptoeing around anything. I'm just going to come out with it, alright?"
I nod again and hold my breath for whatever comes next.
"Alright. Twenty-three years ago, as I was in labour with you, the Keeper of Sacrifice brought me here to make a decision, as you saw. She asked me to sacrifice my life for yours because you are a prophesied saviour for the Naturals. There's a war coming, baby girl, and you're smack bang in the middle of it. Humans are turning against us, building armies to go against Naturals, creating armour and weaponry to defeat us. You're the only shot at survival the Naturals have. You were chosen by the Fates themselves.
"When I passed over, you were blessed with the power of spirits. You're a being quite literally made of life and death; fae and spirit. You've been gifted several abilities that no fae has ever possessed because you will need them. You'll need to rely on those abilities when the time comes. With that being said, when the Fates bestowed the prophecy onto you, you had to become stronger to be able to fight what's coming. There was only one way to do that..."
My palms are sweating, I have a growing headache that's pulsing just behind my eyes, and my heart is beating double time. I can't even process what she's telling me properly. The prophecy in the book is real? And I'm the one it's speaking of? This has to be some kind of fucked up cosmic joke, right? But wait, how did they make me stronger than I am? The spirit abilities have already made me stronger than the average fae.
Mom looks like she doesn't want to explain further, but she tilts her head as though someone is whispering to her, and her head snaps up to face me. She squares her shoulders, and guilt shines in her eyes before she continues. "In order to make you strong enough to endure the abilities of a spirit... your soul was fractured into several pieces. You hold the primary piece, but there are other pieces that have been linked to other Naturals to ensure you survived."
My... my soul was fractured. Into several pieces. Pieces that are linked to... My eyes widen because I'm ninety-nine point nine percent positive I know exactly who those pieces are tethered to. My heart thunders even faster, my breathing coming in fast with one revelation after another. Mom nods with a small sad smile.
"Four Naturals hold pieces of your soul, baby girl. The four that hold fragments of your soul are yours - your mates, to put it one way. It's a deeper bond even than that, but for this conversation we'll call them your mates. They're bonded to you just as you are them. You're tethered to the four with the deepest bond. Trust them and those bonds. Rely on them. You'll need them. You will need each other," Mom continues, urgency seeping into her words. She begins to look around, tilting her head every now a
nd then as though that same person is speaking to her again.
She shakes her head, and a look of devastation crosses her features. I don't like that look, and I certainly don't like the heartbroken smile she sends me. But I know, deep in my belly, that our time has come.
"You need to go home now, baby girl. You've been here too long already, and if your heart slows much more in the living plane, you might not ever wake up. You need to wake up. Those four Naturals surround you right now, eager for you to open those pretty eyes of yours," she says with a warm smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.
We both stand, and I stare at her, trying to memorise every angle of her face, every detail I can manage. My eyes dart back to her bright green ones, and I say, "I don't want you to leave me yet. I haven't had enough time with you."
"I know, honey. I want more time with you, I do. But you have to go home. I won't ever really leave you. I'm always watching over you. I'll always be here." She points at the place where my heart lies, and I feel it break a little in my chest. More urgency has filled her voice, though, and her words are coming quicker as though she's in a rush now. She pulls me towards her and wraps me in the tightest hug. I return the gesture, clutching my fists into the back of her shirt. With her head directly by mine, she whispers, "I love you with all the stars in the sky, Novia Sage. Never forget that. You're my baby girl, and I'll love you always."
"I love you too, Mom. So much," I whisper brokenly. I hug her tighter while the tears pour from my eyes.
In a quieter whisper, she says, "Be strong, honey. I believe in you. I love you."
Then she's pulling away, and, before my eyes, she begins to fade. “Oh, and Novia, there’s another…”
Her sentence is left hanging because her voice suddenly fades into nothing. She sends me another sad smile, mouthing I love you one more time before she disappears entirely until I'm left alone in the nothingness.
I fall back to the floor, landing hard, but the pain in my heart is greater. As I'm sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around my middle, the darkness begins to brighten. Through my tears, I watch the pitch black void grow lighter until it's almost blinding. When the brightness grows too much, my eyes close.
As soon as my eyes shut, I grow lightheaded and disoriented. I feel myself falling backwards, but there's nothing there to catch me. I fall, and fall, and fall...
Until my eyes snap open, and I'm sucking in lungfuls of air. My eyes meet Zayn's as soon as I realise that I'm home. I'm in my room, and my mother is gone again. Zayn looks at me with heartbreak in his eyes, and I know he's seen all he needs to. With that knowledge, I break down again, suffering the loss of my mother a second time, only this feels ten times worse.
I fall forward, and Zayn is there to catch me, wrapping his arms snugly around me while I cry heart wrenching sobs. I feel another set of arms wrap around me from behind, and I know from the warmth that it's Nix holding me. Someone wraps a hand around my right hand where it's clutching Zayn's shirt, the arm attached to the hand resting against the length of my own. A forehead drops to my right shoulder, and the brush of material against my neck tells me it's Spencer with his hat. A different hand drops to my left thigh, rubbing soothing motions up and down the side of my leg, and I know without lifting my head to check that it's Ezra.
Surrounded by the guys, I break once again.
Time passes, but I'm unsure as to how long I sit there crying over the mother I lost a second time. It's as though losing her again has dredged up the grief of losing my dad, my sister, and my entire race all over again.
I cry until my eyes sting and the headache that was growing before worsens. I cry until I feel like I have no tears left to shed. I cry until all I'm capable of doing is sniffling and inhaling hiccuped breaths. All four men stay by my side through it all, offering solace through soft touches and whispered words of support.
As soon as I quiet down, Zayn pulls back to look at me. "Are you alright, little fae?"
I give him a nod and look down at my hands that lie in my lap lifelessly. I heave out a trembling sigh and say, "I'll be fine. Thank you for staying with me."
"You don't have to thank us, sweetheart," Spencer says, keeping his forehead against my shoulder. I lean my head against his, blinking slowly while my eyes burn from all the tears I cried.
Nix is still hugging me from behind, making no move to let me go. He gives me a squeeze and drops a sweet kiss on my shoulder where my shirt has slipped. "Of course, you don't. We'll be here anytime you need us."
It's then I remember what my mom told me about the bond. A bond I forged to these four Naturals when my soul was split into pieces. That would explain all of the complicated feelings I've been getting around them, how they feel like home to me. Since meeting them, I've felt safe and protected, like being with them is exactly where I'm supposed to be. From day one I've felt a mating bond tugging at me, but I didn't understand it. Or maybe I did, and I refused to believe that all I knew, all I was taught, didn't apply to me. At any cost, I've tethered these four men to me without even giving them a choice in the matter. What if they didn't want to be bonded to me? What if I've robbed them of something they can't get back?
"Little fae. We're bonded to you as much as you are to us. I've been researching a lot since you came into our lives, and I can assure you that we are just as much attached. I can't speak for the others, but I wouldn't have chosen anyone else suited for us."
The honestly almost renders me breathless. I can read the truth in Zayn's face, rendering my ability futile.
"You're stuck with us, babe," Nix says next to my ear.
I feel Spencer nod against my shoulder, and he mumbles, "Sure are."
Because of my overwhelming emotions, I almost miss Ezra pulling away. His hand no longer rests on my thigh, and I don't feel him sitting as near as he was. When did he move? Why did he move?
Lifting my head, I turn to look at the incubus. He's staring at nothing in particular, his eyes unfocused but troubled. His elbows rest on his knees, and his hands are clamped together so tightly that his knuckles turn white.
When he sees me looking, he relaxes his hand and offers me a strained smile. He nods at the others, and, with a voice that doesn't hold much conviction, says, "What they said."
I hear Nix sigh, but I don't question it. My head is swimming, and my headache is only getting worse with the overwhelming emotions and information that feel like they’re drowning me. Zayn understands immediately and says, "What do you need us to do?"
I look down at my lap, thinking about what they could possibly do about the conflicting thoughts racing through my mind. How to make this easier for me. But that's not their job. It's not down to them to make my life easier, to make everything easier for me when I don't want to face difficulties. I've faced plenty in the last few years, so I can deal with this one too.
"I think I just need some time to myself for everything to sink in. To process. It feels like my head is going to implode, so I just need some time to think it all out," I tell them, fidgeting with my fingers without meeting Zayn's gaze. It's not that I want them to leave, but perhaps the space will do well for my muddled brain to sift through all I've learned.
"Of course, Novia. We'll be downstairs if you need us," he tells me. He leans in to give me a kiss on the cheek that has my eyelashes fluttering until they almost close. Ezra leaves immediately without looking back, not bothering with words. Zayn catches me watching the incubus with a frown filled with confusion and hurt. "Don't pay him any mind. He's still going through some things."
I nod, and he gives me a reserved smile before leaving the room. Spence follows but not before dropping a lingering kiss on my forehead. It takes Nix a little longer to untangle himself from around me. When he does, he crouches in front of me and says, "I don't want to leave you on your own, but I know you need it. We're just right down the stairs when you're ready for company again, okay?"
"Okay," I whisper, holding his deep blue eyes with mine.
&nbs
p; "Okay," he repeats.
He leans in close and places a brief but sweet kiss on my lips, and then on my nose, before following after the others.
The moment he leaves, I fall back onto the bed with a ragged sigh and rub my hands over my face. Everything I learned today crashes over me like a tidal wave, and so many emotions barrel into me all at once that I'm left more overwhelmed than before.
How do I process any of this? Being a prophesied saviour to all Naturals? Knowing there's a war brewing between Naturals and humans, and I'm the one who's supposed to prevent it? And then there's the bonding to the guys before they were given a choice in the matter. Despite their reassurances, I can't help but feel guilty. They should have had a say in something so important.
With a frustrated growl, I drop my arm over my face. When I do, I feel something underneath the skin on the inside of my arm where it lies against my cheek. I lift it away from my head slowly, and bring my finger up to rub against the spot. Sure enough, there's a feeling of something solid beneath the skin. When I rub my thumb against it firmly and lift it away, I catch the faintest orange light flashing inside my arm. Realisation dawns on me, and I feel the blood drain from my face.
I think... I think I just found how those assholes managed to track me down.
Chapter 23
Zayn
We all leave Novia's room, giving her the space I know she needs right now. Seeing inside her head even overwhelmed me, so I can only imagine how she's feeling.
Nix is the last to leave her, but when he does, he looks as worn down as the rest of us. As soon as Novia's eyes went completely white, I was checking her mind to make sure she was okay. The only other time I've witnessed her eyes turning white was when she demonstrated her ability to become incorporeal. To say I panicked would be putting it mildly.