by Jim Butcher
"Back to the old outfit?"
"It's not old," she said. "It's classic. Or at the worst, retro."
I snorted out a little laugh. "As long as it isn't the one with the shoulder pads and the headband. How's our buddy Oliver?"
She gave me a smile filled with very white teeth. "He's out of the company already. He's probably out there trying to plot a way to keep his money without me ruining his life."
"Seems to me if he could subtract you from the equation, he could do that."
Felicia shrugged. "He wouldn't be the first to try it."
"Just so long as he's not the last."
She gave me a coy little look and shifted her hips. "I'm a big girl, Petey. I can take care of myself."
"Just be careful," I said.
"Maybe I'll get a bodyguard," she said. "If I could find one who would guard my body instead of ogling it."
"You and MJ worked things out, I guess?"
" Worked out' is a rather strong term. We called a cease-fire," she replied. "News flash, honey: It's a rare thing for wives and ex-girlfriends to get along. I don't think she's ever really gotten past that portrait I had taken for you." She smiled. "Watson's got guts, though. I'll give her that."
I remembered said portrait of Felicia, and hoped my blush didn't show.
"And how," I said. "Thank you for helping me protect her."
Her expression grew serious for a moment. "I know you think the world of her. Maybe we aren't together anymore, but I care about you. A lot. So even if she tried to claw my eyes out every time I came in the room, I'd do the same thing next time. It'd kill you if something happened to her.
I don't want that. And she loves you, too, Pete. She makes you happy."
"Yeah. She does." I smiled for a moment and reached up to take her hand for a moment, squeezing. She squeezed back, then leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. "Don't be a stranger," I said.
"Of course not," she replied. "And don't wait for it to get as bad as this before you call me for help, either. No one does it all alone."
"I'll remember," I said.
"Tell MJ I said good-bye?"
"Will do."
She winked at me on her way out. "Take care of yourself, Pete."
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," I replied.
"You're no fun at all," she said, and closed the door behind her.
Mary Jane got in late - after eleven o'clock. But she came through the door smiling and humming to herself. I was dozing in front of the TV. My metabolism gets me back on my feet faster than the average bear, but mending broken bones really takes it out of me.
"Hey there," I mumbled, and smiled at her. She came to the couch and kissed me thoroughly and then just sort of draped herself over me.
"Someone had a good day," I observed. "The car ran? The driver's test went okay?"
"The car," she said, smiling, "is fixed. You'd never know I crashed it into anything at all."
I blinked. "How..."
She wriggled pleasantly, and drew an old business card from her pocket.
The front said, "Stephen Strange, MD." She flipped it over. The back read, in Strange's scrawling script, "Bippity-Boppity-Body Shop."
I laughed and hugged her. "And the test?"
"Somehow, it seemed a whole lot less dramatic on Monday than it had been on Saturday," she replied, her tone smug.
"There's a shocker," I said. "How was your first rehearsal?"
"Wonderful," she said, and kissed me again. "The lead was all surprised that I had a mind. He thought he was just getting to hang around with a bit of mobile scenery."
"So long as he looks with his eyes and not with his hands," I drawled.
"You need me to beat anybody up, you let me know."
"I think I'll manage that on my own, should it become necessary. Which it won't, of course." She kissed me again, then drew back, eyes bright. "How was practice?"
"Wong got game," I said. "Apparently he saw the Globetrotters when he was a kid. I guess when he wasn't learning mystic kung fu and herbal remedies, he was teaching himself whatever he could about basketball."
"The plan worked?"
"And how," I said.
"Broken wrist and all?"
"Yep," I said. I grinned. "I cheated. Just a little. Not enough to look weird."
Mary Jane grinned back. "I thought you said cheating would defeat the purpose."
"One-on-one, sure," I said. "But the kid needed to learn that sometimes you run into something you can't handle on your own. So I made sure he couldn't." I put on a pious face. "It was for his own good."
She laughed again. "Did Felicia get out of town all right?"
"Yes," I said. "She said to tell you good-bye."
"Good."
"Good that she said that, or good that she's gone?"
"Yes," Mary Jane said in a cheerful tone. "You're never going to believe who came by the rehearsal."
The phone rang. I sighed and fumbled around for it. Mary Jane sort of wormed her way up my stomach so that she could reach the phone. Which was quite nice, really.
She picked up the phone and held it up to my ear for me.
"Hello?" I said.
Wong's voice came over the phone. "The Rhino asked to speak to you before he left. I took the liberty of contacting you so that he would not know the number I called."
"Right," I said. "Put him on."
"Spider-Man?" the Rhino asked, the strong Russian accent thick and rolling.
"Da?" I said.
He snorted. "You kept your word to me."
"Yes," I said. "It's been more than twenty-four hours."
"I know. Called to tell you am keeping to our deal in any case. Am on the way out of town in a moment. No trouble for you or anyone."
"Good," I said. "Don't suppose I could talk you into extending the deal."
The Rhino grunted. "You going to pay my debts? Give me job?"
"No."
"Then is no deal." His voice turned thoughtful. "Maybe one day, things are different. But for now, is no help for it."
"Too bad," I said. "Someone like you could do a lot of good. It wasn't bad working with you for once."
"Maybe. But things between us do not change," he said. "One day, I will beat you. My way. One day, I will show you."
"Well," I said. "We'll just see about that."
I swear, I could hear the big guy's smile. "Da. We will."
And we both hung up. Well, technically Mary Jane did. My hands were...
elsewhere.
"You know," she said thoughtfully, "I think I've worked out what was bothering me about him. Our friend Aleksei is not stupid."
I frowned. "He's not Gump or anything, maybe, but I promise you he's not the crispiest chip in the bag."
"I'm not so sure," she said, voice intent. "You think that because you've always thought it, and so now you expect him to be a big dope. But stop and think for a minute.
Everyone in your circle expects it, don't they?"
"Well. Yes. I mean, everyone knows that the Rhino isn't all that bright."
"What if he's bright enough to be hiding it from everyone?" Mary Jane asked. "When people expect you to be an idiot, assume you haven't got a brain in your head, letting them continue to think so can be very advantageous." She gave me a wry smile. "Believe me. When it comes to people's assuming abject stupidity based on expectation and appearance, I know what I'm talking about."
I blinked and thought about that one for a minute. "Then how come when he fights me, he keeps falling for the same routine, over and over?"
"Exactly," Mary Jane said. "Even a moron would have changed their tactics by now. I think it's become a matter of principle for him. He wants to beat you his way, and he won't be satisfied until he does." She mused.
"You know, I'll bet you anything that he wasn't unconscious as long as you thought he was, when you brought him in here. If he was as stupid as everyone thinks, do you really think he would have been so calm and rational when he w
oke up blinded and bound?"
"Admittedly," I said, "I was sort of surprised that he let me talk to him. I knew the webbing would hold him long enough to let me throw him out a window if he got rowdy, but all the same, he did take it awfully calmly."
"Right. I think that was because he'd been listening and he already knew you had no intention of hurting him."
The Rhino with a brain. That notion was at least as disturbing as the occasions when the Hulk had managed to hold on to Banner's intellect. "I don't know..."
"I'm not saying he's going to be a Jeopardy champion or anything. But think about how many mad geniuses he works with. The Goblins, Doc Ock, Mysterio. I think he knows that they're a lot smarter than he is. So he hides the brains he does have, so that if it ever comes to a fight, he'll have a card up his sleeve."
I hated to admit it, but I knew MJ might have a point. "If that's true,"
I said, "then he might have heard my name. Or yours."
She nodded. "If he did?"
"If he did..." I shook my head. "He's just got first names. And I don't think he'd do anything with them, anyway."
"Why not?"
"Because you're right about one thing: He wants to beat me his way. Man to man."
Mary Jane smiled. "Then you've got nothing to worry about. You're more of a man than anyone I know, Mr. Parker. Russian Rhinos included."
"You sound awfully certain about that, Mrs. Parker," I murmured, and kissed her.
"I am," she said, gorgeous eyes half-lidded. "Let me show you why."
And she did.
The End
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27