by R C Sherriff
OSBORNE: Don't be an ass. He was out here before I joined up. His experience alone makes him worth a dozen people like me.
HARDY: You know as well as I do, you ought to be in command.
OSBORNE: There isn't a man to touch him as a commander of men. He'll command the battalion one day if –
HARDY: Yes, if! [He laughs.]
OSBORNE: You don't know him as I do; I love that fellow. I'd go to hell with him.
HARDY: Oh, you sweet, sentimental old darling!
OSBORNE: Come along. Finish handing over and stop blithering.
HARDY: There's nothing else to do.
OSBORNE: What about the log-book?
HARDY: God! you are a worker. Oh, well. Here we are. [He finds a tattered little book among the papers on the table.] Written right up to date; here's my last entry: ‘5 p.m. to 8 p.m. All quiet. German airman flew over trenches. Shot a rat.’
OSBORNE: Did he?
HARDY: No, I shot the rat, you ass. Well, finish up your whisky. I want to pack my mug. I'll leave you that drop in the bottle.
OSBORNE: Thanks. [He drinks up his whisky and hands HARDY the mug.]
HARDY [tucking the mug into his pack]: I'll be off.
OSBORNE: Aren't you going to wait and see Stanhope?
HARDY: Well, no, I don't specially want to see him. He's so fussy about the trenches. I expect they are rather dirty. He'll talk for hours if he catches me. [He hitches his pack over his shoulders, hangs on his gas satchel, map-case, binoculars, compass-case, until he looks like a travelling pedlar. As he dresses] Well, I hope you have a nice six days. Don't forget to change your clothes if you get wet.
OSBORNE: No, papa.
HARDY: And don't forget about the big attack.
OSBORNE: Oh, Lord, no, I mustn't miss that! I'll make a note in my diary.
HARDY [fully dressed]: There we are! Do I look every inch a soldier?
OSBORNE: Yes. I should get quite a fright if I were a German and met you coming round a corner.
HARDY: I should bloody well hope you would.
OSBORNE: Shouldn't be able to run away for laughing.
HARDY: Now don't be rude. [He leans over to light a cigarette from a candle, and looks down on the table.] Well, I'm damned. Still at it!
OSBORNE: What is?
HARDY: Why, that earwig. It's been running round and round that candle since tea-time; must have done a mile.
OSBORNE: I shouldn't hang about here if I were an earwig.
HARDY: Nor should I. I'd go home. Ever had earwig races?
OSBORNE: No.
HARDY: Great fun. We've had 'em every evening.
OSBORNE: What are the rules?
HARDY: Oh, you each have an earwig, and start 'em in a line. On the word ‘Go’ you dig your earwig in the ribs and steer him with a match across the table. I won ten francs last night – had a splendid earwig. I'll give you a tip.
OSBORNE: Yes?
HARDY: Promise not to let it go any farther?
OSBORNE: Yes.
HARDY: Well, if you want to get the best pace out of an earwig, dip it in whisky – makes 'em go like hell!
OSBORNE: Right. Thanks awfully.
HARDY: Well, I must be off. Cheero!
OSBORNE: Cheero!
[HARDY goes up the narrow steps into the trench above, singing softly and happily to himself]:
‘One and Two, it's with Maud and Lou;
Three and Four, two girls more –'
[The words trail away into the night. OSBORNE rises and takes his pack from the floor to the bed by the table. While he undoes it a SOLDIER SERVANT comes out of the tunnel from the left with a table-cloth over his arm and a plate with half a loaf of bread on it.]
MASON: Excuse me, sir. Can I lay supper?
OSBORNE: Yes, do. [He shuffles up the papers from the table and puts them on the bed.]
MASON: Thank you, sir. [He lays the table.]
OSBORNE: What are you going to tempt us with tonight, Mason?
MASON: Soup, sir – cutlets – and pineapple.
OSBORNE [suspiciously]: Cutlets?
MASON: Well, sir – well, yes, sir – cutlets.
OSBORNE: What sort of cutlets?
MASON: Now, sir, you've got me. I shouldn't like to commit meself too deep, sir.
OSBORNE: Ordinary ration meat?
MASON: Yes, sir. Ordinary ration meat, but a noo shape, sir. Smells like liver, sir, but it 'asn't got that smooth, wet look that liver's got.
[MASON leaves the dugout. OSBORNE sits up to the table and examines the map. Voices come from the trench above; a gruff voice says: ‘This is C Company ‘Eadquarters, sir.’ A boyish voice replies: ‘Oh, thanks.’ There is a pause, then the gruff voice says: ‘Better go down, sir.’ The boyish voice replies: ‘Yes. Righto.’ RALEIGH comes groping down the steps and stands in the candlelight. He looks round, a little bewildered. He is a well-built, healthy-looking boy of about eighteen, with the very new uniform of a second lieutenant. OSBORNE looks up from the trench map, surprised and interested to see a stranger.]
OSBORNE: Hullo!
RALEIGH: Good evening [he notices OSBORNE'S grey hair and adds] sir.
OSBORNE: You the new officer?
RALEIGH: Er – yes. I've been to Battalion Headquarters. They told me to report here.
OSBORNE: Good. We've been expecting you. Sit down, won't you?
RALEIGH: Thanks. [He sits gingerly on the box opposite OSBORNE. ]
OSBORNE: I should take your pack off.
RALEIGH: Oh, right. [He slips his pack from his shoulders. ]
OSBORNE: Will you have a drink?
RALEIGH: Er – well –
OSBORNE: You don't drink whisky?
RALEIGH [hastily ]: Oh, yes – er – just a small one, sir.
OSBORNE [pouring out a small whisky and adding water]: Whisky takes away the taste of the water –
RALEIGH: Oh, yes? [He pauses, and laughs nervously.]
OSBORNE: – and the water takes away the taste of the whisky. [He hands RALEIGH the drink. ] Just out from England?
RALEIGH: Yes, I landed a week ago.
OSBORNE: Boulogne?
RALEIGH: Yes. [A pause, then he self-consciously holds up his drink.] Well, here's luck, sir.
OSBORNE [taking a drink himself]: Good luck. [He takes out a cigarette case.] Cigarette?
RALEIGH: Thanks.
OSBORNE [holding a bottle across so that RALEIGH can light his cigarette from the candle in it]: Ever been up in the line before?
RALEIGH: Oh, no. You see, I only left school at the end of last summer term.
OSBORNE: I expect you find it a bit strange.
RALEIGH [laughing]: Yes – I do – a bit –
OSBORNE: My name's Osborne. I'm second in command of the company. You only call me ‘sir’ in front of the men.
RALEIGH: I see. Thanks.
OSBORNE: You'll find the other officers call me ‘Uncle’.
RALEIGH: Oh, yes? [He smiles.]
OSBORNE: What's your name?
RALEIGH: Raleigh.
OSBORNE: I knew a Raleigh. A master at Rugby.
RALEIGH: Oh? He may be a relation. I don't know. I've got lots of uncles and – and things like that.
OSBORNE: We've only just moved into these trenches. Captain Stanhope commands the company.
RALEIGH [suddenly brightening up ]: I know. It's a frightful bit of luck.
OSBORNE: Why? D'you know him?
RALEIGH: Yes, rather! We were at school together – at least – of course – I was only a kid and he was one of the big fellows; he's three years older than I am.
[There is a pause; OSBORNE seems to be waiting for RALEIGH to go on, then suddenly he says: ]
OSBORNE: He's up in the front line at present, looking after the relief. [Another pause.] He's a splendid chap.
RALEIGH: Isn't he? He was skipper of rugger at Barford, and kept wicket for the eleven. A jolly good bat, too.
OSBORNE: Did you play rugger – and cricket?
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RALEIGH: Oh, yes. Of course, I wasn't in the same class as Dennis – I say, I suppose I ought to call him Captain Stanhope?
OSBORNE: Just ‘Stanhope’.
RALEIGH: I see. Thanks.
OSBORNE: Did you get your colours?
RALEIGH: I did for rugger. Not cricket.
OSBORNE: Rugger and cricket seem a long way from here.
RALEIGH [laughing]: They do, rather.
OSBORNE: We play a bit of soccer when we're out of the line.
RALEIGH: Good!
OSBORNE [thoughtfully]: So you were at school with Stanhope. [Pause. ] I wonder if he'll remember you? I expect you've grown in the last three years.
RALEIGH: Oh, I think he'll remember me. [He stops, and goes on rather awkwardly] You see, it wasn't only that we were just at school together; our fathers were friends, and Dennis used to come and stay with us in the holidays. Of course, at school I didn't see much of him, but in the holidays we were terrific pals.
OSBORNE: He's a fine company commander.
RALEIGH: I bet he is. Last time he was on leave he came down to the school; he'd just got his MC and been made a captain. He looked splendid! It – sort of – made me feel –
OSBORNE: – keen?
RALEIGH: Yes. Keen to get out here. I was frightfully keen to get into Dennis's regiment. I thought, perhaps, with a bit of luck I might get to the same battalion.
OSBORNE: It's a big fluke to have got to the same company.
RALEIGH: I know. It's an amazing bit of luck. When I was at the base I did an awful thing. You see, my uncle's at the base – he has to detail officers to regiments –
OSBORNE: General Raleigh?
RALEIGH: Yes. I went to see him on the quiet and asked him if he could get me into this battalion. He bit my head off, and said I'd got to be treated like everybody else –
OSBORNE: Yes?
RALEIGH: – and next day I was told I was coming to this battalion. Funny, wasn't it?
OSBORNE: Extraordinary coincidence!
RALEIGH: And when I got to Battalion Headquarters, and the colonel told me to report to C Company, I could have cheered. I expect Dennis'll be frightfully surprised to see me. I've got a message for him.
OSBORNE: From the colonel?
RALEIGH: No. From my sister.
OSBORNE: Your sister?
RALEIGH: Yes. You see, Dennis used to stay with us, and naturally my sister [he hesitates] – well – perhaps I ought not –
OSBORNE: That's all right. I didn't actually know that Stanhope –
RALEIGH: They're not – er – officially engaged –
OSBORNE: No?
RALEIGH: She'll be awfully glad I'm with him here; I can write and tell her all about him. He doesn't say much in his letters; can we write often?
OSBORNE: Oh, yes. Letters are collected every day.
[There is a pause.]
RALEIGH: You don't think Dennis'll mind my – sort of – forcing myself into his company? I never thought of that; I was so keen.
OSBORNE: No, of course he won't. [Pause.] You say it's – it's a good time since you last saw him?
RALEIGH: Let's see. It was in the summer last year – nearly a year ago.
OSBORNE: You know, Raleigh, you mustn't expect to find him – quite the same.
RALEIGH: Oh?
OSBORNE: You see, he's been out here a long time. It – it tells on a man – rather badly –
RALEIGH [thinking]: Yes, of course, I suppose it does.
OSBORNE: You may find he's – he's a little bit quick-tempered.
RALEIGH [laughing]: Oh, I know old Dennis's temper! I remember once at school he caught some chaps in a study with a bottle of whisky. Lord! the roof nearly blew off. He gave them a dozen each with a cricket stump.
[OSBORNE laughs.]
He was so keen on the fellows in the house keeping fit. He was frightfully down on smoking – and that sort of thing.
OSBORNE: You must remember he's commanded this company for a long time – through all sorts of rotten times. It's – it's a big strain on a man.
RALEIGH: Oh, it must be.
OSBORNE: If you notice a – difference in Stanhope – you'll know it's only the strain –
RALEIGH: Oh, yes.
[OSBORNE rouses himself and speaks briskly.]
OSBORNE: Now, let's see. We've got five beds here – one each. Two in here and three in that dugout there. I'm afraid you'll have to wait until the others come and pick the beds they want.
RALEIGH: Righto!
OSBORNE: Have you got a blanket.
RALEIGH: Yes, in my pack. [He rises to get it.]
OSBORNE: Better wait and unpack when you know where you are sleeping.
RALEIGH: Righto! [He sits down again.]
OSBORNE: We never undress when we're in the line. You can take your boots off now and then in the daytime, but it's better to keep pretty well dressed always.
RALEIGH: I see. Thanks.
OSBORNE: I expect we shall each do about three hours on duty at a time and then six off. We all go on duty at stand-to. That's at dawn and dusk.
RALEIGH: Yes.
OSBORNE: I expect Stanhope'll send you on duty with one of us at first – till you get used to it.
[There is a pause. RALEIGH turns, and looks curiously up the steps into the night.]
RALEIGH: Are we in the front line here?
OSBORNE: No. That's the support line outside. The front line's about fifty yards farther on.
RALEIGH: How frightfully quiet it is!
OSBORNE: It's often quiet – like this.
RALEIGH: I thought there would be an awful row here – all the time.
OSBORNE: Most people think that.
[Pause.]
RALEIGH: I've never known anything so quiet as those trenches we came by; just now and then I heard rifle firing, like the range at Bisley, and a sort of rumble in the distance.
OSBORNE: Those are the guns up north – up Wipers way. The guns are always going up there; it's never quiet like this. [Pause.] I expect it's all very strange to you?
RALEIGH: It's – it's not exactly what I thought. It's just this – this quiet that seems so funny.
OSBORNE: A hundred yards from here the Germans are sitting in their dugouts, thinking how quiet it is.
RALEIGH: Are they as near as that?
OSBORNE: About a hundred yards.
RALEIGH: It seems – uncanny. It makes me feel we're – we're all just waiting for something.
OSBORNE: We are, generally, just waiting for something. When anything happens, it happens quickly. Then we just start waiting again.
RALEIGH: I never thought it was like that.
OSBORNE: You thought it was fighting all the time?
RALEIGH [laughing]: Well, yes, in a way.
OSBORNE [after puffing at his pipe in silence for a while]: Did you come up by trench tonight – or over the top?
RALEIGH: By trench. An amazing trench – turning and twisting for miles, over a sort of plain.
OSBORNE: Lancer's Alley it's called.
RALEIGH: Is it? It's funny the way it begins – in that ruined village, a few steps down into the cellar of a house – then right under the house and through a little garden – and then under the garden wall – then alongside an enormous ruined factory place – then miles and miles of plains, with those green lights bobbing up and down ahead – all along the front as far as you can see.
OSBORNE: Those are the Very lights. Both sides fire them over No Man's Land – to watch for raids and patrols.
RALEIGH: I knew they fired lights. [Pause. ] I didn't expect so many – and to see them so far away.
OSBORNE: I know. [He puffs at his pipe.] There's something rather romantic about it all.
RALEIGH [eagerly]: Yes. I thought that, too.
OSBORNE: You must always think of it like that if you can. Think of it all as – as romantic. It helps. [MASON comes in with more dinner utensils.]