by R C Sherriff
OSBORNE: It's strawberry.
TROTTER: Is it? I'm glad we've got rid o' that raspberry jam. Can't stand raspberry jam. Pips get be'ind your plate.
OSBORNE: Did Stanhope tell you he wants two wiring parties out tonight?
TROTTER: Yes. He's fixing it up now. [He pauses, and goes on in a low voice. ] My goodness, Uncle, doesn't he look ill!
OSBORNE: I'm afraid he's not well.
TROTTER: Nobody'd be well who went on like he does. [There is another pause. ] You know when you came up to relieve me last night?
OSBORNE: Yes?
TROTTER: Well, Raleigh and me came back here, and there was Stanhope sitting on that bed drinking a whisky. He looked as white as a sheet. God, he looked awful; he'd drunk the bottle since dinner. I said, “Ullo!’ and he didn't seem to know who I was. Uncanny, wasn't it, Raleigh?
RALEIGH [with lowered head ]: Yes.
TROTTER: He just said, ‘Better go to bed, Raleigh’ – just as if Raleigh'd been a school kid.
OSBORNE: Did he? [There is a pause.] Look at the sun. It'll be quite warm soon.
[They look at the pale square of sunlight on the floor. ]
TROTTER: It's warm now. You can feel it on your face outside if you stand in it. First time this year. 'Ope we 'ave an 'ot summer.
OSBORNE: So do I.
TROTTER: Funny about that bird. Made me feel quite braced up. Sort of made me think about my garden of an evening – walking round in me slippers after supper, smoking me pipe.
OSBORNE: You keen on gardening?
TROTTER: Oh, I used to do a bit of an evening. I 'ad a decent little grass plot in front, with flower-borders – geraniums, lobelia, and calceolaria – you know, red, white, and blue. Looked rather nice in the summer.
OSBORNE: Yes.
TROTTER: 'Ad some fine 'olly'ocks out the back. One year I 'ad one eight feet 'igh. Took a photer of it. [He fumbles in his pocket case.] Like to look at it?
OSBORNE: I would. [He looks at the photo.] By Jove, it's a beauty.
TROTTER [looking over OSBORNE'S shoulder]: You see that, just there?
OSBORNE: Yes?
TROTTER: That's the roof of the summer-'ouse.
OSBORNE: Is it really!
TROTTER: Just shows the 'ite of the 'olly'ock.
OSBORNE: It does. [He shows the photo to RALEIGH.] A beauty, isn't it?
RALEIGH: Rather!
TROTTER: It never wanted no stick to keep it straight, neether. [There is a pause.] You keen on gardening?
OSBORNE: Yes. A bit. I made a rockery when I was home on leave. I used to cycle out to the woods and get primroses and things like that, and try and get 'em to grow in my garden.
TROTTER: I don't suppose they would!
OSBORNE: They would if you pressed a bit of moss round them –
TROTTER: – to make 'em feel at 'ome, eh? [He laughs.]
OSBORNE: They'll be coming out again soon if they've got this sun at home.
TROTTER: I reckon they will. I remember one morning last spring – we was coming out of the salient. Just when it was getting light in the morning – it was at the time when the Boche was sending over a lot of that gas that smells like pear-drops, you know?
OSBORNE: I know. Phosgene.
TROTTER: That's it. We were scared to hell of it. All of a sudden we smelt that funny sweet smell, and a fellow shouted ‘Gas!’ – and we put on our masks; and then I spotted what it was.
OSBORNE: What was it?
TROTTER: Why, a blinkin' may-tree! All out in bloom, growing beside the path! We did feel a lot of silly poops – putting on gas masks because of a damn may-tree! [He stretches himself and tries to button his tunic.] Lord! I must get my fat down. [He gets up.] Well, I better go and relieve Stanhope. He'll curse like hell if I don't. I bet he's got a red-hot liver this morning.
OSBORNE: I relieve you at eleven.
TROTTER: That's right. I don't like this time of day in the line. The old Boche 'as just 'ad 'is breakfast, and sends over a few whizzbangs and rifle grenades to show 'e ain't forgotten us. Still, I'd rather 'ave a bang or two than this damn quiet. [He puts on his helmet and gas mask satchel and goes up the steps. ] Cheero!
OSBORNE: Cheero!
RALEIGH: Cheero!
OSBORNE [to RALEIGH]: I expect Stanhope'll let you go on duty alone now.
RALEIGH: Will he? About what time?
OSBORNE: Well, after me, I expect. From about two till four.
RALEIGH: I see.
[There is a pause. Then OSBORNE looks at RALEIGH and laughs.]
OSBORNE: What do you think about it all?
RALEIGH: Oh, all right, thanks. [He laughs.] I feel I've been here ages.
OSBORNE [filling his pipe]: I expect you do. The time passes, though.
RALEIGH: Are we here for six days?
OSBORNE: Yes. Seems a long time, doesn't it?
RALEIGH [laughing shortly]: It does rather. I can't imagine – the end of six days here –
OSBORNE: Anyhow, we've done twelve hours already. It's fine when you are relieved and go down the line to billets, and have a good hot bath, and sit and read under trees.
RALEIGH: Good Lord, I feel I haven't seen a tree for ages – not a real tree, with leaves and branches – and yet I've only been here twelve hours.
OSBORNE: How did you feel – in the front line?
RALEIGH: Oh, all right. It seemed so frightfully quiet and uncanny – everybody creeping about and talking in low voices. I suppose you've got to talk quietly when you're so near the German front line – only about seventy yards, isn't it?
OSBORNE: Yes. About the breadth of a rugger field.
RALEIGH: It's funny to think of it like that.
OSBORNE: I always measure distances like that out here. Keeps them in proportion.
RALEIGH: Did you play rugger?
OSBORNE: Yes. But mostly reffing at school in the last few years.
RALEIGH: Are you a schoolmaster, then?
OSBORNE: Yes. I must apologize.
RALEIGH: Oh, I don't mind schoolmasters. [Hastily] I – I – mean, I never met one outside a school.
OSBORNE: They do get out sometimes.
RALEIGH [laughing]: Who did you play for?
OSBORNE: The Harlequins.
RALEIGH: I say, really!
OSBORNE: I played for the English team on one great occasion.
RALEIGH: What! For England!
OSBORNE: I was awfully lucky to get the chance. It's a long time ago now.
RALEIGH [with awe ]: Oh, but, good Lord! that must have been simply topping. Where did you play?
OSBORNE: Wing three.
RALEIGH: I say, I – I never realized – you'd played for England?
OSBORNE: Tuppence to talk to me now! Anyhow, don't breeze it about.
RALEIGH: Don't the others know?
OSBORNE: We never talk about rugger.
RALEIGH: They ought to know. It'd make them feel jolly bucked.
OSBORNE [laughing]: It doesn't make much difference out here!
RALEIGH: It must be awfully thrilling, playing in front of a huge crowd – all shouting and cheering –
OSBORNE: You don't notice it when the game begins.
RALEIGH: You're too taken up with the game?
OSBORNE: Yes.
RALEIGH: I used to get wind up playing at school with only a few kids looking on.
OSBORNE: You feel it more when there are only a few. [He has picked up a slip of paper from the table; suddenly he laughs.] Look at this!
RALEIGH [looking at it curiously]: What is it?
OSBORNE: Trotter's plan to make the time pass quickly. One hundred and forty-four little circles – one for each hour of six days. He's blacked in six already. He's six hours behind.
RALEIGH: It's rather a good idea. I like Trotter.
OSBORNE: He's a good chap.
RALEIGH: He makes things feel – natural.
OSBORNE: He's a genuine sort of chap.
RALEIGH: That's it. He's genuine.
[There is a pause. RALEIGH has been filling a new pipe. OSBORNE is puffing at his old one. ]
How topping – to have played for England!
OSBORNE: It was rather fun.
RALEIGH [after a pause]: The Germans are really quite decent, aren't they? I mean, outside the newspapers?
OSBORNE: Yes. [Pause.] I remember up at Wipers we had a man shot when he was out on patrol. Just at dawn. We couldn't get him in that night. He lay out there groaning all day. Next night three of our men crawled out to get him in. It was so near the German trenches that they could have shot our fellows one by one. But, when our men began dragging the wounded man back over the rough ground, a big German officer stood up in their trenches and called out: ‘Carry him!’ – and our fellows stood up and carried the man back and the German officer fired some lights for them to see by.
RALEIGH: How topping!
OSBORNE: Next day we blew each other's trenches to blazes.
RALEIGH: It all seems rather – silly, doesn't it?
OSBORNE: It does, rather.
[There is silence for a while.]
RALEIGH: I started a letter when I came off duty last night. How do we send letters?
OSBORNE: The quartermaster-sergeant takes them down after he brings rations up in the evenings.
[STANHOPE is coming slowly down the steps. RALEIGH rises.]
RALEIGH: I think I'll go and finish it now – if I go on duty soon.
OSBORNE: Come and write it in here. It's more cheery.
RALEIGH: It's all right, thanks; I'm quite comfortable in there. I've rigged up a sort of little table beside my bed.
OSBORNE: Righto.
[RALEIGH goes into his dugout. STANHOPE is slowly taking off his equipment. ]
STANHOPE: What a foul smell of bacon.
OSBORNE: Yes. We've got bacon for breakfast.
STANHOPE: So I gather. Have you told Raleigh about rifle inspection?
OSBORNE: No.
STANHOPE [at the entrance to RALEIGH'S dugout]: Raleigh!
RALEIGH [appearing]: Yes?
STANHOPE: You inspect your platoon's rifles at nine o'clock.
RALEIGH: Oh, righto, Stanhope. [He goes again. ]
STANHOPE [sitting at the table]: I've arranged two wiring parties to begin at eight o'clock tonight – Corporal Burt with two men and Sergeant Smith with two. I want them to strengthen the wire all along the front.
OSBORNE: It's very weak at present.
STANHOPE: Every company leaves it for the next one to do. There're great holes blown out weeks ago.
OSBORNE: I know.
STANHOPE: Next night we'll start putting a belt of wire down both sides of us.
OSBORNE: Down the sides?
STANHOPE: Yes. We'll wire ourselves right in. If this attack comes, I'm not going to trust the companies on our sides to hold their ground.
[MASON has come in, and stands diffidently in the background.]
MASON: Would you like a nice bit o'bacon, sir?
STANHOPE: No, thanks. I'll have a cup of tea.
MASON: Right, sir. [He goes out.]
STANHOPE: I've been having a good look round. We've got a strong position here – if we wire ourselves right in. The colonel's been talking to me up there.
OSBORNE: Oh. Has he been round?
STANHOPE: Yes. He says a German prisoner gave the day of attack as the twenty-first.
OSBORNE: That's Thursday?
STANHOPE: Yes. Today's Tuesday.
OSBORNE: That means about dawn the day after tomorrow.
STANHOPE: The second dawn from now.
[There is a pause.]
OSBORNE: Then it'll come while we're here.
STANHOPE: Yes. It'll come while we're here. And we shall be in the front row of the stalls.
OSBORNE: Oh, well –
[In the silence that follows, MASON enters with a cup of tea.]
MASON: Would you like a nice plate of sardines, sir?
STANHOPE: I should loathe it.
MASON: Very good, sir. [He goes out.]
OSBORNE: Did the colonel have much to say?
STANHOPE: Only that when the attack comes we can't expect any help from behind. We're not to move from here. We've got to stick it.
OSBORNE: I see.
STANHOPE: We'll wire ourselves in as strongly as possible. I've got to arrange battle positions for each platoon and section this afternoon.
OSBORNE: Well, I'm glad it's coming at last. I'm sick of waiting.
STANHOPE [looking at TROTTER'S chart]: What's this extraordinary affair?
OSBORNE: Trotter's plan to make the time pass by. A hundred and forty-four circles – one for each hour of six days.
STANHOPE: How many hours are there till dawn on the twenty-first?
OSBORNE: Goodness knows. Not many, I hope.
STANHOPE: Nearly nine o'clock now. Twenty-four till nine tomorrow; twelve till nine at night – that's thirty-six; nine till six next morning; that's forty-five altogether. [He begins to count off forty-five circles on TROTTER'S chart.]
OSBORNE: What are you going to do?
STANHOPE: At the end of the forty-fifth circle I'm going to draw a picture of Trotter being blown up in four pieces.
OSBORNE: Don't spoil his chart. It took him an hour to make that.
STANHOPE: He won't see the point. He's no imagination.
OSBORNE: I don't suppose he has.
STANHOPE: Funny not to have any imagination. Must be rather nice.
OSBORNE: A bit dull, I should think.
STANHOPE: It must be, rather. I suppose all his life Trotter feels like you and I do when we're drowsily drunk.
OSBORNE: Poor chap!
STANHOPE: I suppose if Trotter looks at that wall he just sees a brown surface. He doesn't see into the earth beyond – the worms wandering about round the stones and roots of trees. I wonder how a worm knows when it's going up or down.
OSBORNE: When it's going down I suppose the blood runs into its head and makes it throb.
STANHOPE: Worms haven't got any blood.
OSBORNE: Then I don't suppose it ever does know.
STANHOPE: Rotten if it didn't – and went on going down when it thought it was coming up.
OSBORNE: Yes. I expect that's the one thing worms dread.
STANHOPE: D'you think this life sharpens the imagination!
OSBORNE: It must.
STANHOPE: Whenever I look at anything nowadays I see right through it. Looking at you now there's your uniform – your jersey – shirt – vest – then beyond that –
OSBORNE: Let's talk about something else – croquet, or the war.
STANHOPE [laughing]: Sorry! It's a habit that's grown on me lately – look right through things, and on and on – till I get frightened and stop.
OSBORNE: I suppose everybody out here – feels more keenly.
STANHOPE: I hope so. I wondered if there was anything wrong with me. D'you ever get a sudden feeling that everything's going farther and farther away – till you're the only thing in the world – and then the world begins going away – until you're the only thing in – in the universe – and you struggle to get back – and can't?
OSBORNE: Bit of nerve strain, that's all.
STANHOPE: You don't think I'm going potty?
OSBORNE: Oh, Lord, no!
STANHOPE [throwing back his head and laughing]: Dear old Uncle! you don't really know, do you? You just pretend you do, to make me feel all right.
OSBORNE: When people are going potty they never talk about it; they keep it to themselves.
STANHOPE: Oh, well, that's all right, then. [There is silence for a while.] I had that feeling this morning, standing out there in the line while the sun was rising. By the way, did you see the sunrise? Wasn't it gorgeous?
OSBORNE: Splendid – this morning.