by Becca Monroe
Becca Monroe
TRUSTING JAKE
Montgomery Heroes of Alaska Book One
Copyright © 2020 by Becca Monroe
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
Becca Monroe asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
Becca Monroe has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-party Internet Websites referred to in this publication and does not guarantee that any content on such Websites is, or will remain, accurate or appropriate.
Designations used by companies to distinguish their products are often claimed as trademarks. All brand names and product names used in this book and on its cover are trade names, service marks, trademarks and registered trademarks of their respective owners. The publishers and the book are not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book. None of the companies referenced within the book have endorsed the book.
**DISCLAIMER**
The content of this book is intended for readers - 18+
This book contains sexual scenes, violence, and PTSD situations.
First edition
ISBN: 978-1-7363361-0-6
This book was professionally typeset on Reedsy
Find out more at reedsy.com
DEDICATION
To every person struggling with Post Traumatic Stress.
You are brave. You are strong.
You are worthy of a life full of love & happiness.
&
To my husband, for proving that real-life heroes exist.
Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THANK YOU
CHAPTER ONE
Present Day
Jake
Delaney flinched and jerked her head away when my hand brushed against her skin. Fear. Her body radiated it. In the six months since she arrived in Kodiak, I’d never seen her scared this way. Her body shaking, her eyes distant and detached, almost as though she’d transported herself to another time and place.
I knew that look. Hell, when I arrived home from my last combat tour, I lived in that detached place just to survive. The demons I wrestled with from my experiences in combat weren’t as active as they used to be, but Delaney hadn’t been in a war zone. There was an innocence to her that combat always destroyed in its victims.
Regardless of how broken or put together you were before the experience. The brutality, loss of your brothers and sisters, changes you, as it should. It wasn’t possible to live through war and still come out on the other side, as everything good. And Delaney was a good person.
“Hey,” I whispered, as I moved closer, but she stepped back, withdrawing even further.
I placed my hands in my pockets, showing her there was no reason to fear me. But why did I care if she did? It wasn’t like we were the best of friends. Avoiding her was self-preservation.
Her kind attitude toward everyone, beautiful emerald eyes, ivory skin, and long silky red hair made that difficult. If angels walked the earth, she was one of them. The perfectly placed freckles that scattered across her skin made it impossible for my mind not to drift to what it would be like to kiss each one. Her physical beauty was apparent, but it was the haunted look in her eyes that seemed in conflict with her desire to be kind to people that piqued my curiosity.
She squeezed her eyes closed tightly for a moment and shook her head, clearing the image she saw in her mind. It was something I would do when a flashback from a traumatic experience threatened to suffocate me. No doubt something horrible happened to her to elicit her fearful reaction, and the soldier in me wanted to find out who or what caused it and destroy them. The man in me, however, realized right now she didn’t need the soldier, she needed a friend.
“I apologize if I scared you, that wasn’t my intention,” I whispered.
She opened her eyes, and I noticed moisture gathering there. The fear laced throughout those perfect pools of green destroyed me. She had a peaceful spirit about her that everyone in town loved, but she also reminded me of my ex-fiancé, Callie, which contributed to why I’d kept my distance.
Callie died about five years ago, leaving me with several unanswered questions. She also left my heart in a million pieces, and I didn’t have the energy to stitch it back together and try to love again.
To survive, I kept my personal life simple. A regular friend with benefits hook-up with someone I had zero desire to be in a relationship with, and no dating or attachments. It worked well until this little earth angel walked into my life and made me question everything.
Her eyes found mine but darted away when I offered her a look of understanding. “You startled me, that’s all,” she said. “Did you need something?”
Her eyes couldn’t hold mine when she said I didn’t scare her, which told me she was lying. She’d wrapped her delicate arms around her waist, and her posture was pensive and tense.
I offered a smile, understanding her need for me to let her reaction go. “You had chocolate frosting on your face, I wanted to wipe it off for you.”
She scanned the entire room, avoiding my gaze. “Momma wanted me to ask if you’d like to make the cakes for tomorrow’s menu.”
I took in the bowls and the finished cake in front of me. “From the looks of it, you’re already working on them. She said you had some good recipes you wanted to try.”
She turned back to the mixing bowls on the kitchen counter of the restaurant. “Yes, I wanted to try this new one first to see if it’s any good, and only now finished frosting it.” Her shaky hands grabbed a paper towel, and she wiped off her cheek.
“Did I get it all?” She asked.
My eyes roamed over her heavenly face. “All good.” The words held a deeper meaning than merely about the frosting being cleaned up, but I didn’t know what to do with the reality of that, so I let the words stay hollow.
“That looks delicious.” I watched as she walked over to the utensils, grabbed a large knife and then two plates, setting them down in front of me.
“Will you try it and give me an honest opinion?” She asked.
Surprised she would ask me for anything, I grinned like a naïve teenage boy being told something by a girl he liked. “Uh, sure.”
She cut each of us a piece and sat down on the stool at the end of the counter. I remained standing catty-corner from her and took my first bite, a second, and finished it before she’d even gotten through half of hers. “My God, Delaney, is that your recipe?”
Her eyes showed fear again, and that pissed me off. I didn’t want her to know fear. “Is it bad?” She asked, concern laced in her tone.
I turned my body, so I faced her. “That is the best cake I’ve ever tasted. So, I ask you again, is it your recipe? Because it’s phenomenal.”
She laughed a little and my insides danced at the fact I made her smile. A smile that lit up her face. Perh
aps it was her angelic halo that peeked out during random times to remind mere mortals, like me, that heaven existed.
“Thank you,” she said. “Yes, I wrote it out last night. Do you think it’s good enough for the restaurant menu tomorrow?”
I chuckled. “It’s good enough to be in a five-star restaurant in downtown Manhattan!” I exclaimed. She tensed again, and the smile faded. Her body was rigid as she stood and put the dishes in the sink.
Delaney rushed around the kitchen putting things away, never again looking in my direction. “Thanks for trying it and giving your opinion. Perhaps Mary will think the same tomorrow. I need to get cleaned up and head home.”
What did I say to make the smile disappear and tension come back?
“Sure, of course. Thanks for letting me have a taste.” I walked to the door and turned back to her, needing to understand why she’d reacted the way she did tonight.
“Goodnight,” I said.
“Goodnight,” she said, without a glance my direction.
Every protective instinct inside me said Delaney was in trouble. How I’d missed that for so many months bothered me. I may not be on active duty any longer, but after fourteen years as a soldier, ten in special operations, you’d think I would spot fear like that a mile away. It was a testament to how detached I’d kept myself from her. That would need to change.
By the time I climbed into bed a couple of hours later, exhaustion hit me. I laid there for a few minutes just staring at the ceiling, thinking about Delaney and the day I met her. Closing my eyes, the pictures of our meeting danced through my mind like an old family slide slow.
She flashed me a warm, perfect smile and every common sense thought I should have held onto disappeared. I studied her as mom introduced her to the group. Truthfully, I couldn’t have torn my eyes from her even if I wanted to. She greeted everyone warmly. Her long, fire-red hair, emerald green eyes, and that perfect milky skin with traces of freckles made my body react in a way it hadn’t since Callie died. Her eyes held this balance of chaos and art, beauty, and perhaps… fear? Interesting, so I had witnessed fear in her before this evening.
The reality that I’d preserved my emotions and heart, rather than uncovering the torment I saw in her, was eating away at me. That isn’t the man I wanted to be. Again, I went back to the memory of our first meeting. Her hand was small and tender inside mine and the second I clasped it, there was a pull to her, a connection. Something made me want to wrap her inside my arms and protect her from everything evil in this world.
The family stood around and continued speaking to her as the Crab Festival got underway. But I didn’t stay. Something pulled me to her, while something else warned me to stay far away. I excused myself and left the table. When I glanced back through all the people, her piercing green eyes found mine, and a kind smile once again curved the corner of her lips. I pulled my ball cap down further to hide my eyes and turned to leave.
Delaney Newcomb would be a problem for me. It was obvious then, and it held true now. But something was changing. Tonight, she displayed fear. Fear of me or something else hurting her, I wasn’t sure. Suddenly, my concern about having my heart broken didn’t seem important. I’d talk to Josh or Mike about my thoughts on Delaney, but not until I understood them myself.
Delaney
Why did I act like a circus freak when Jake touched my face tonight? The way his eyes flashed with concern made me wish I could share things with him. Since arriving in Kodiak, I’d witnessed how helpful and caring he was to everyone in the community. He loved this place and the people. It showed in his willingness to help anyone out with any task or chore they needed. Well, anyone except me. He disliked me, although I couldn’t figure out what I’d done. For some unknown reason, his disliking me was a painful reality.
I laid on my couch and remembered the last interaction Jake and I had before tonight. It happened around Labor Day. I remember because Mary was off for the weekend and I worked Friday through Monday with the staff.
Jake and Brittany entered the restaurant and sat at the corner table. I’d greeted them, but I couldn’t help but feel the anxiety rising inside me. The first few months in Kodiak were full of wonderful people and learning to love the town I had fled to from New York. Everyone welcomed me with open arms, except Jake. When I met him at the Kodiak Crab Festival a few months ago, he shook my hand and something inside me shifted. He held onto it for mere seconds, but he made me wonder what it would be like to be inside his arms. The connection and pull to him were immediate and intense. I didn’t understand it, but it only increased over the last six months. Seeing the way he treated the people he loved most in his life, made me respect him and the desire continued to grow.
From everything I learned about Jake, he served in the Army for almost fourteen years and was what most people would refer to as an alpha male. Strong command presence took care of things, a leader. People in Kodiak loved him, and he shared a very close bond with his family and friends. He was honest and seemed to hold on to the ethos of a man’s word meaning something. Before him, the only man I’d ever wanted to trust was one that hurt me in every way humanly possible.
Everything Jake believed and practiced daily were good things, and the day we met, something in his gaze stirred something inside of me. He looked at me with curiosity and even compassion, which stoked a desire for me to be close to him. The desire quickly proved illogical because of his actions since our first meeting have been nothing but dismissive, and he avoided me like the plague. Every town function, or interaction that we attended, he stayed away from me, offering one-word answers, never engaging in conversation, and keeping things impersonal. Which would have been fine, if I wasn’t drawn to him in so many ways.
Brittany, the woman he spent his free time with, wasn’t his official girlfriend. From what I heard around the restaurant, it was more like a friend with benefits situation. Trust me, you hear a lot as a waitress in the best restaurant for hundreds of miles. The night they came in, I put my best smile on and headed over to the table.
“Hey guys, what can I get you tonight?”
Jake didn’t offer a greeting or glance in my direction. “I’ll take the filet, sweet potato loaded and green beans.”
Brittany looked up at me and snaked her arm across the table to grab Jake’s arm. “Can I get a side salad with no dressing? It’s too much fat,” she said.
“Sure. What did you want for your main entrée? We have a wonderful roasted chicken breast tonight.”
Brittany glared at me. “If I wanted an entrée, I would have ordered one. Do your job and bring me just the salad. That’s what I ordered.”
“Britt,” Jake admonished her, perhaps embarrassed by her behavior.
I didn’t think her an evil person, but she wasn’t kind, and I’d experienced enough cruelty for one lifetime.
“What, Jake? You said yourself she’s annoying. Remember the other night when you were talking about her?” She grinned and winked at him as if I was invisible.
Jake winced. “That isn’t what I said,” his voice quiet when he apologetically looked up at me.
“You said that when you were talking about her, not me,” he said.
She shrugged her shoulders with indifference. “Whatever. The same thing,” she smirked.
I grabbed the menus from the table. “Okay. Well, on that note, I’ll send Sam over to take care of you. Wouldn’t want to annoy you two fabulous love birds,” I said and walked away.
Two hours later, Jake stood in the kitchen’s doorway, while I finished the last of the dishes. “Delaney.”
His voice was quiet, and a small part of me welcomed the calm tone he offered. “What?” I asked curtly.
“Sorry about this evening. Brittany had a few drinks before we headed over to eat and she gets rude when she’s had too much.”
I turned to face him, my arms full of bubbles from the dish soap. “What’s your excuse?”
“My excuse?”
“What’
s your excuse for being rude?” I asked.
His eyes fell away from mine. “You remind me of someone from a long time ago. It isn’t personal, but sometimes it makes it hard to be around you.”
“Well, let’s keep that to a minimum then, shall we?” I said, turning back to my dishes. “Have a good night.”
“I apologize for everything said tonight.”
Annoyed he was there at all, I turned back to face him. “You don’t like me, believe me, I got the message loud and clear, but please leave me out of whatever you and Brittany are. I’ve had enough cruel people in my world, and I’d appreciate it if the two of you would stay away from me. Don’t worry, I’ll be happy to do the same.”
He nodded. “We should have gone somewhere else, I just like Sam’s filet,” he said, trying to lighten the energy in the room.
I turned back to my dishes and sensed his eyes burning into my back. Why couldn’t he just leave?
“This is my workplace and I try to keep things professional. You could have gone somewhere else, but you came here, knowing I work every Friday night, even though I apparently annoy you. I’ll be professional, but I’m human. Please respect that I’m trying to work. I need to finish some things so I can get home.”
After a few moments, he let out a frustrated sigh. “Have a good night,” he whispered. He left, and the tension in my shoulders released. So many questions raced through my mind. Who or what did I remind him of? If I annoyed him, why was he standing there apologizing to me that night? This evening’s events only increased my questions. It didn’t really matter. Jake was a beautiful fantasy I would continue to have about a life I’d never live.
CHAPTER TWO
One week later
Delaney
Months ago, Kodiak sounded like a perfect place to hide from my past, but as the temperature continued to drop in the middle of November, I had to wonder about several of my life choices.
I crawled out of bed and threw the last two logs on the fire. The visible sheet of ice covering the inside of my windows, a testament to the frigid air inside my little cabin. Just a couple more hours of heat, please. I glanced at my watch and groaned, four-thirty a.m. If I stopped my teeth from chattering and my body from shaking long enough to fall back to sleep, I would get another two hours before my shift at the restaurant.