how Fluff could run, and about how wonderful he washimself to have thought of the periodicity of Fluff.
"Did you see how he went?" he asked enthusiastically. "That gait was athirty-mile-an-hour gait. Why, that dog travels--he travels--" He tookout a piece of paper and a pencil and figured it out. "In forty-eighthours he travels fourteen hundred and forty miles! He gets seven hundredand twenty miles from home!"
"It doesn't seem possible," said Murchison. "No," said Brownlee frankly,"it doesn't." He went over his figures again. "But that is figuredcorrectly," he said. "If--but maybe I did not gauge his speed correctly.And I didn't allow for stopping to turn around at the end of the outsprint. What we ought to have on that dog is a pedometer. If I owned adog like that, the first thing I would get would be a pedometer."
I told Brownlee that if he wished I would give him Fluff, and he couldput a pedometer, or anything else, on him; but Brownlee remembered hehad some work to do and went home.
But he was right about the periodicity of Fluff. Almost on the minute atthe end of forty-eight hours Fluff returned, and Brownlee and Murchison,who were there to receive him, were as pleased as if Fluff had beengoing away instead of returning.
"That dog," said Brownlee, "is a wonderful animal. If Sir Isaac Newtonhad that dog, he would have proved something or other of universal valueby him. That dog is plumb full of ratios and things, if we only knew howto get them out of him. I bet if Sir Isaac Newton had had Fluff aslong as you have had him he would have had a formula all workedout--x/y(2xz-dog)=2(4ab-3x) or something of that kind, so thatanyone with half a knowledge of algebra could figure out the square rootof any dog any time of the day or night. I could get up a Law of Dogmyself if I had the time, with a dog like Fluff to work on. 'If one dogtravels fourteen hundred and forty miles at the sight of a gun, how farwould two dogs travel?' All that sort of thing. Stop!" he ejaculatedsuddenly. "If one dog travels forty-eight hours at the sight of one gun,how far would he travel at the sight of two guns? Murchison," hecried enthusiastically, "I've got it! I've got the fundamental law ofperiodicity in dogs! Go get your gun," he said to me, "and I will getmine."
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He stopped at the gate long enough to say:
"I tell you, Murchison, we are on the verge of a mighty importantdiscovery--a mighty important discovery! If this thing turns outright, we will be at the root of all dog nature. We will have the greatunderlying law of scared dogs."
He came back with his shotgun carefully hidden behind him, and then heand I showed Fluff the two guns simultaneously. For one minute Fluff wasstartled. Then he vanished. All we saw of him as he went was the dust heleft in his wake. Massett had come over when Brownlee brought overhis gun, and Murchison and I sat and smoked while Massett and Brownleefought out the periodicity of Fluff. Brownlee said that for two gunsFluff would traverse the same distance as for one, but twice as quickly;but Massett said Brownlee was foolish, and that anyone who knew anythingabout dogs would know that no dog could go faster than Fluff had goneat the sight of one gun. Massett said Fluff would travel at his regularone-gun speed, but would travel a two-gun distance. He said Fluff wouldnot be back for ninety-six hours. Brownlee said he would be back inforty-eight hours, but both agreed that he would travel twenty-eighthundred and eighty miles. Then Murchison went home and got a map, andshowed Brownlee and Massett that if Fluff traveled fourteen hundredmiles in the direction he had started he would have to do the last twohundred miles as a swim, because he would strike the Atlantic Oceanat the twelve hundredth mile. But Brownlee just turned up his nose andsneered. He said Fluff was no fool, and that when he reached the coasthe would veer to the north and travel along the beach for two hundredmiles or so. Then Massett said that he had been thinking aboutBrownlee's theory, and he _knew_ no dog could do what Brownlee saidFluff would do--sixty miles an hour. He said he agreed that a dog likeFluff could do thirty miles an hour if he did not stop to howl, becausehis howl represented about sixty horse power, but that no dog could everdo sixty miles an hour. Then Brownlee got mad and said Massett was aborn idiot, and that Fluff not only _could_ do sixty miles, but hecould keep on increasing his speed at the rate of thirty miles per gunindefinitely. Then they went home mad, but they agreed to be on handwhen Fluff returned. But they were not. Fluff came home in twenty-fourhours, almost to the minute.
When I went over and told Brownlee, he wouldn't believe it at first, butwhen I showed him Fluff, he cheered up and clapped me on the back.
"I tell you," he exclaimed, "we have made a great discovery. We havediscovered the law of scared dogs. 'A dog is scared in inverse ratio tothe number of guns!' Now, it wouldn't be fair to try Fluff again withoutgiving him a breathing spell, but to-morrow I will come over, and wewill try him with four guns. We will work this thing out thoroughly," hesaid, "before we write to the Academy of Science, or whatever a personwould write to, so that there will be no mistake. Before we give thissecret to the world we want to have it complete. We will try Fluff withany number of guns, and with pistols and rifles, and if we can get onewe will try him with a cannon. We will keep at it for years and years.You and I will be famous."
I told Brownlee that if he wanted to experiment for years with Fluffhe could have him, but that all I wanted was to get rid of him; butBrownlee wouldn't hear of that. He said he would buy Fluff of me if hewas rich enough, but that Fluff was so valuable he couldn't think ofbuying him. He would let me keep him. He said he would be over the nextday to try Fluff again.
So the next day he and Murchison and Massett came over and held aconsultation on my porch to decide how many guns they would try onFluff. They could not agree. Massett wanted to try four guns and haveFluff absent only half a day, but Brownlee wanted to have me break myshotgun in two and try that on Fluff. He said that according to the lawof scared dogs, a half a gun, working it out by inverse ratio, wouldkeep Fluff away for twice as long as one gun, which would be ninety-sixhours; and while they were arguing it out Fluff came around the houseunsuspectingly and saw us on the porch. He gave us one startled glanceand started north by northeast at what Brownlee said was the mostmarvelous rate of speed he ever saw. Then he and Massett got down offthe porch and looked for guns, but there were none in sight. Therewasn't anything that looked the least like a gun. Not even a broomstick.Brownlee said he knew what was the matter--Fluff was having a littlepractice run to keep in good condition, and would be back in a fewhours; but, judging by the look he gave us as he went, I thought hewould be gone longer than that.
I could see that Brownlee was worried, and as day followed day withoutany return of Fluff, Murchison and I tried to cheer him up, showing himhow much better we all slept while Fluff was away; but it did not cheerup poor Brownlee. He had set his faith on that dog, and the dog haddeceived him. We all became anxious about Brownlee's health--he mopedaround so; and just when we began to be afraid he was going into adecline he cheered up, and came over as bright and happy as a man couldbe.
"I told you so!" he exclaimed joyfully, as soon as he was inside mygate. "And it makes me ashamed of myself that I didn't think of it themoment I saw Fluff start off. You will never see that dog again."
I told Brownlee that that was good news, anyway, even if it did upsethis law of scared dogs; but he smiled a superior smile.
"Disprove nothing!" he said. "It proves my law. Didn't I say in thefirst place that the time a dog would be gone was in inverse ratioto the number of guns? Well, the inverse ratio to no guns is infinitetime--that is how long Fluff will be gone; that is how long he will run.Why, that dog will never stop running while there is any dog left inhim. He can't help it--it is the law of scared dogs."
"Do you mean to say," I asked him, "that that dog will run on and onforever?"
"Exactly!" said Brownlee proudly. "As long as there is a particle of himleft he will keep on running. That is the law."
Maybe Brownlee was right. I don't know. But what I would like to know isthe name of some one who would like a dog that looks like Fluff, and ishis size, and that howls like him and that
answers to his name. A dog ofthat kind returned to Murchison's house a long time before infinity, andI would like to get rid of him. Brownlee says it isn't Fluff; that hislaw couldn't be wrong, and that this is merely a dog that resemblesFluff. Maybe Brownlee is right, but I would like to know some one thatwants a dog with a richly melodious voice.
THE END
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