by Rachel Hills
hotness and, 85–90
opposite of sex, 104–7
overview, 83–85
pleasure and, 84–85
relationships and, 90–94
see also desirability
deviance, 3, 42, 55, 57, 67–68, 77–82, 131
Díaz, Junot, vii
Disney, 13, 77, 140, 143–44, 174
divorce, 142
dopamine, 41
Duff, Hilary, 13
Dunham, Lena, 210
see also Girls (TV series)
Dworkin, Andrea, 13
dysfunction. See female sexual dysfunction; Viagra
Elias, Norbert, 45, 47
emotional needs, 37, 64, 103
England, Paula, 6, 106
Estonia, 53
Ethical Slut, The, 14
ethnicity, 162
Everwood (TV series), 98
experimentation, 25, 66, 136, 141, 162, 176–78, 200, 203
extramarital affairs, 40
Facebook, 124, 150
Farvid, Panteá, 119
Female Chauvinist Pigs (Levy), 14, 52
Female Eunuch, The (Greer), 156
female sexual dysfunction (FSD), 189–90
femininity
being a “good girl,” 145–51
fun and fearlessness, 155–64
“girl power,” 164–65
overview, 139–42
sex and, 142–45
submissiveness, 151–55
Fey, Tina, 16
FHM magazine, 14, 172
Fifty Shades of Grey (James), 152, 176
Fitzgerald, F. Scott, 15
Flood, Michael, 125–26
Fogarty, Alison, 106
food, sex and, 171
40 Days and 40 Nights (film), 6
Foucault, Michel, 22, 30, 41, 199–200
France, 53
Freud, Sigmund, 188
Friday, Nancy, 152
Friends (TV series), 174–75
Gagnon, John, 40, 52
Game, The (Strauss), 100
gay chicken, 133, 137
Gay-Straight Alliance, 29, 73
Germany, 53
GetUp!, 74
Giddens, Anthony, 196–97
Gilmore Girls (TV series), 98
“girl hunting,” 122, 127
Girl with a One-Track Mind (Margolis), 160
Girls (TV series), 161, 210–11
Girls Gone Wild,13, 16
Glamour magazine, 162, 170–71, 174, 176–77
Glee (TV series), 70
Gomez, Selena, 13
Google Glass, 168
Gossip Girl (TV series), 11–12, 211
Grant, Linda, 21–22
Grazian, David, 122, 125, 127
Grease (film), 148
Greer, Germaine, 156
Guyland (Kimmel), 4, 50
Haag, Pamela, 79–80, 213
halo effect, 87, 93
Hamilton, Laura, 158, 163
Happy Hook–Up, The, 14
Hartnett, Josh, 6
Harvey Nichols, 163
HBO, 161, 210
Heldman, Caroline, 100, 103
heteronormativity, 79
Hilton, Paris and Nicky, 13
HIV/AIDS, 131, 148
Hollway, Wendy, 103
Hollywood, 85, 105
homohysteria, 131
homophobia, 69, 112, 130, 132, 135–36, 204
homosexuality, 6–7, 22, 42–43, 63, 67, 69–75, 77, 181–83, 196, 201, 204
hookups, 7, 17–18, 28, 87, 93, 100–103, 106, 121–22, 137, 150, 153, 158–59, 161, 173
hormones, 41, 61, 179
Huffington Post, The, 168
Hunt, Alan, 24
impotence, 61, 190
In Our Words (blog), 71
Inclusive Masculinity (Anderson), 131
inclusivity, 110, 137
innocence, 66, 88, 165
Internet
pornography and, 7, 39
publishing and, 219
interview subjects
Alice, 83–84
Andrew, 99, 123–25
Annabelle, 146–47, 157
Ashley, 101–2, 181–82
Ben, 65–66, 117
Brit, 139–40, 142, 188–89
Caleb, 94, 128–30
Cara, 62–65, 208
Chinara, 85–86
Christopher, 114–16
Courtney, 80–82, 98–99
Edward, 71–74, 183
Ethan, 19–21
Evan, 39–40
Greta, 39, 47–49
Henry, 89–90, 198–99, 209
Jasmine, 102, 183–85, 194
Jennifer, 153–55, 157
Josh, 114
Katie, 148–51, 194
Lauren, 29–30
Marie, 105–6
Max, 109–12, 133
Meghan, 91–93, 106–7, 197–98
Michael, 55–57, 132–33
Natalie, 88
Nate, 120–23
Noah, 25–26
Nyn, 75–77
Portia, 69–71, 73–74
Priya, 156–57
Rebecca, 51–52
Sam, 86–87
Sarah, 27–28
Shannon, 17–19
Sofia, 36–38, 47–48
Stephanie, 96–97
Tullia, 22–23, 28
Yusuf, 44, 134–36, 194
Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl (Magnanti), 160
Jackson, E. W., 204
Jackson, Stevi, 42, 169, 213
Jancovich, Mark, 24–26
Jezebel, 95, 209–10
Johansson, Scarlett, 22
judgment, freedom from, 24–25
Kahnoodle app, 168
Kardashian, Kim, 13
Kerr, Miranda, 22
Kimmel, Michael, 4, 6, 50, 111
kink
BDSM and, 75, 162, 173, 176–78
coolness of, 75
Girls and, 211
as lifestyle, 173–78
norms and, 65, 69, 75–77, 79
sexual identity and, 47, 84
sexual performance and, 172–78
spontaneity and, 192
Kinsey, Alfred, 60
Kressley, Carson, 131
Lady Gaga, 50, 130, 156, 165
Levy, Ariel, 14, 52, 211–12
Lion King, The (film), 144
love, 24, 32–33, 44, 47–48, 63, 74, 91, 101–3, 121, 144–45
Machin, David, 40
MacKinnon, Catharine, 13
Madonna, 156, 165
Magnanti, Brooke, 160
Margolis, Zoe, 160–61
Marie Claire magazine, 162
marriage
abstinence and, 58, 66, 85, 96, 118, 141, 146–49, 179, 197
middle class and, 24
norms and, 79, 202
proper age for, 31
same-sex, 38, 67–69, 74–75
sex and, 15, 21, 25, 40, 58, 67–68, 78, 179–80
vs. being single, 28, 93
masculinity
homosexuality and femininity, 130–36
overview, 109–13
removing straitjacket of, 136–38
sex as sport, 120–25
sexual insatiability and, 113–17
sexual violence and, 125–30
three-Fs culture, 117–20
masturbation, 57, 61, 137, 146, 188
Max, Tucker, 121
Maxim magazine, 14, 170, 172–73, 176
Mean Girls (film), 16
Men’s Health magazine, 170, 172
Millennials, 7, 12–19
Millet, Catherine, 160
Mitchell, Kaye, 160–61
modernity, evolution to, 45–46
monogamy, 15, 67, 75–76, 101, 152, 164, 177–78, 202
morality, 2, 8–9, 15, 24–25, 27, 35, 61, 68, 146–47, 202
Moynihan, Ray, 190–91
Myers, Kristen, 143
National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 116
/> National Center for Transgender Equality, 77
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, 77
National Union of Students (UK), 127
Netherlands, the, 138
“Never Have I Ever” game, 19
New York magazine, 180
New York Observer, 26
New York Times Magazine, 153
New York University, 6, 32, 61
Nikunen, Kaarina, 172
90210 (TV series), 12
norms, sex and
defining sexuality, 71–78
heteronormativity, 78–82
importance of, 59–66
overview, 55–58
shifting of, 66–70
NPR (National Public Radio), 14
nymphomania, 146, 186
O-Shot, 190
objectification, 13, 32, 160
OkCupid, 15, 64
Online College Social Life Survey, 17
oral sex, 57, 106, 115, 142, 183
Orgasm Inc. (film), 189
Orgasmatron, 189
Orgone Box, 15
oxytocin, 41
Parents Television Council (PTC), 11–12
Pascoe, C. J., 135
performance, sexual
kink and, 173–78
knowledge and, 169–72
orgasms, 185–91
overview, 167–69
pleasure and, 191–92
spontaneity, 178–85
Perry, Katy, 20
Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, 69
Playboy magazine, 13
pleasure, sex and
abnormal sex, 68
consumer sex, 52
culture, 60
desire, 84–85, 104
exploitation, 80
hookups, 80, 153
intimacy, 182–83
lack of, 153, 155
morality, 38
orgasms, 185–91
performance, 167, 169–70, 191, 195–96
Sex Myth, 8, 41, 213
sexual freedom, 21, 32–33, 35, 141, 160, 201, 203
women and, 141, 160
Plummer, Ken, 35
pole dancing, 62, 162
pornography, 7, 13, 38–39, 55, 68, 85, 155, 161, 167, 172, 190, 194
Potts, Annie, 187
Power of Beauty (Friday), 152
power, sex and, 32–33
pregnancy, 29–30, 116, 147–48, 158, 170, 176
premature ejaculation, 59–61
Przybylo, Ela, 40
psychology
attraction and, 87
gender and, 103, 119, 127
sexual liberation and, 32
sexuality and, 160, 181, 186–87, 190
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (TV series), 70, 131
rape, 118, 126, 157, 201, 204
“raunch culture,” 16
Raymond, Laura, 143
Rees, Amanda, 42
Regnerus, Mark, 14
Reich, Wilhelm, 15, 186
religion, 32, 46, 65, 69, 78, 142, 146–48, 218
repression, 22, 24, 31–32, 40, 98, 203, 212
Republicans, 66–67, 197
Rivers, Ian, 132
romance, 43, 143–44
Rosin, Hannah, 158–59
Rubin, Gayle, 67–68, 79
Rules, The (Fein and Schneider), 100
same-sex marriage, 38, 67–69, 74–75
Savage, Dan, 64–65, 173
Schalet, Amy T., 138
Schwartz, Pepper, 181
Science/Fiction of Sex, The (Potts), 187
Scott, Catherine, 174
Scott, Sue, 169
Second Sex, The (de Beauvoir), 151
Seventeen magazine, 116
Sex and the City (TV series), 155–56, 211
sex blogs, 160–61, 170
Sex-Crazy Nympho Dream Girl, 186
Sex Is Not a Natural Act (Tiefer), 32, 43, 185
Sex Myth
consumer sex, 49–53
idealization/fear of sex, 38–41
overview, 35–38
science of, 41–44
sex and identity, 44–49
sex toys, 39, 68, 140, 171, 188
sexiness, 20, 141
Sexing the Millennium (Grant), 21
sexless relationships, 40, 103, 181–82
sexting, 116
Sexual Conduct (Gagnon and Simon), 40, 52
sexual freedom, 9, 31, 65, 156–57, 160, 164–65, 203, 205, 214
sexual liberalism, 23, 66, 203
sexual liberation
critical nature of, 30–33
identity, 22–25
Millennials and, 12–19
norms, 19–22
overview, 11–12
young adults and, 25–30
Sexual Life of Catherine M, The (Millet), 160
sexual memoirs, 161
sexual positions, 1, 30, 57, 126, 155, 168–69, 172–74, 179, 192
sexual revolution, 21, 212, 214
sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), 148, 169–70
Skins (TV series), 11–12, 211
slang, sexual, 124, 128
Slate, 14
sluts, 79–80, 92, 148, 163–64, 196, 204
Smiler, Andrew, 127
social status, 3, 32, 53, 85, 91
Spears, Britney, 13
Spreadsheets app, 167–68
Spurr, Pam, 174
stereotypes
female sexuality, 151, 157
fraternities, 110–11
gay men, 130–31
lesbians, 71
losing one’s virginity, 80
male sexuality, 110–11, 117, 127
students, 16–17
subjectification, 160, 199
taboos, 32, 46
Teen Mom (TV series), 176
teens
dating and, 93
in popular culture, 11–12
pregnancy, 116
sex and, 13, 15–16, 18, 25, 29, 117, 119, 138
testosterone, 41
Thicke, Robin, 20
“Thinking Sex” (Rubin), 79
Thorn, Clarisse, 186–87
Thornborrow, Joanna, 40
threesomes, 27, 55, 62, 115, 154, 173, 176
Tiefer, Leonore, 32, 43, 185
Times Magazine (UK), 79–80
Tinder, 15
transgender, 22, 58, 77, 79, 96, 214
transgressive acts, 22, 29, 50, 69, 140, 161, 168, 173, 177, 195
True Love Waits, 179
Tumblr, 210
twentysomethings, 13–16, 25–27, 81, 161, 210
Twitter, 26, 204
UC Berkeley, 120
United Kingdom, 69, 73, 132
University of North Carolina, 146
University of Northern Iowa, 50
University of Pennsylvania, 122, 127, 159
120
US News & World Report, 15
Valenti, Jessica, 146
VanCamp, Emily, 98–99
Viagra, 169, 190
Victorian culture, 3, 15, 31, 38
Victoria’s Secret, 13, 22, 85, 123
virginity, 6, 11, 27, 39, 58, 80, 82–83, 89, 96–97, 115, 119, 142, 146–50, 158, 183, 194
vulnerability, 32, 63, 100, 102–4, 113, 137, 146, 152, 193
Vulture (blog), 180
vulvodynia, 183–84
Wade, Lisa, 100, 103
Waller, Willard, 93–94
waxing, 23, 95, 210
wet dreams, 61
Wilde, Olivia, 180
Will and Grace (TV series), 70, 131
Williams, Robin, 114
Winter, Tim, 12
World Health Organization (WHO), 201
212
York University, 42
YouTube, 74, 204
Zoo Weekly magazine, 173
Simon & Schuster Paperbacks
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Copyright © 2015 by Rachel Hills
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Cover design by Jonathan Bush
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Hills, Rachel.
The sex myth : the gap between our fantasies and reality / Rachel Hills.
pages cm
1. Sex customs. 2. Sex (Psychology)—Social aspects. 3. Identity (Psychology). 4. Sex in popular culture. 5. Feminism. 6. Feminist Theory. I. Title.
HQ21.H4565 2015
306.7—dc23
2015003770
ISBN 978-1-4516-8578-7
ISBN 978-1-4516-8580-0 (ebook)
Note to readers: Some names and identifying details of people portrayed in this book have been changed.