Hope Burns

by Jaci Burton

  CARTER WASN'T GOING to let Molly's words ruin his night. Or, rather, Luke and Emma's night. It was a night of fun and partying, not an evening to remember the past and the wreckage that had been in its wake.

  But Molly's toast, what she'd said about love, left a big gaping hole of pain in his heart that was hard to ignore.

  She was still hurting, he knew it, and there wasn't a goddamn thing he could do to change what had happened all those years ago. He'd been young and stupid and had thought only about himself. God, it had been so long ago. They'd been so innocent.

  He needed to talk to her. They needed to resolve things, so they could put it away, could move on with their lives.

  He kept an eye on her while they ate dinner. She focused on talking to Jane, Chelsea, and Des, refusing to look at him.

  Avoiding having that conversation wasn't going to give them closure.

  After dinner, the deejay played Emma and Luke's song. He liked seeing his good friend dance with his wife.

  Luke's wife. God, his best friend was married now. A lot of his friends were getting married and starting families. At thirty and with a well-established career, that was something Carter should be thinking about doing. He'd bought a nice big house with four bedrooms, but he had no one to share it with. He dated a lot. He'd even had a serious relationship or two over the years. But he hadn't managed to pull the trigger yet. He was waiting for that one woman to gut-punch him and then he'd just . . . know.

  Watching as Molly sat and laughed at something Chelsea said, he felt that punch in his gut. Her hair was pulled up in some kind of fancy something or other. It was pretty, with pieces of hair framing her face and making her blue eyes stand out even more tonight. Maybe it was the purple dress that hugged her curves, or maybe it was just that she'd always gut-punched him.

  No. Just no. She wasn't the one for him. They'd established that a long time ago, and she was hightailing it out of Hope as soon as she could. Then he could go back to doing what he did, and she could do . . . whatever it was she did.

  That's why they both needed closure. So they could move on, and he could find that someone to have his forever with. And maybe, so could Molly.

  Chapter 6

  AVOIDANCE. MOLLY WAS doing a fine job of avoiding being anywhere near Carter, which so far was working well. She had stood by and watched Emma and Luke perform their first dance, and done her obligatory dance with Logan as part of the bridal party before blending into the crowd. Fortunately, Logan was more than happy to go off with Des, and she was free to mingle. Or hide.

  She hung out with her parents, happy to spend as much time with them as she could since she'd be leaving the day after tomorrow. Plus, her mom had an intense new project going on and she wanted to hear details about it.

  "It's so exciting, Molly," her mom said as they grabbed a spot at the table. "I'm spearheading the revitalization of the Hope town square project, including the fountain."

  "Really? Is this something your marketing firm is doing?"

  Her mom shook her head. "No. It's a personal project, a labor of love and something I'm very committed to. You know how much we all enjoyed the fountain, how much fun we all used to have in the town square when you and Emma were little."

  Molly couldn't help but be captured by her mother's enthusiasm. "Of course. I played in that fountain when I was a kid. I used to love the flying dolphin sculpture. I miss seeing it."

  "We all loved it. But that poor dolphin rusted and had to be taken down. That's part of the process, to have another one commissioned. Even the fountain's been closed for years. The revitalization project has been working to reopen it. Bigger and better, so that future generations will be able to enjoy it. It's required the help and generosity of many of the citizens of Hope. We still have a ways to go, but you know me. I'm relentless, and I've been pushing everyone to get involved."

  She could see her mother bullying businesses to give money or offer services in order to get this done. "I'm so thrilled you're deeply involved in this, Mom."

  "We have an end date in sight, and construction is already underway. Now that we have momentum going, we can't back down. I have to stay on top of everyone, otherwise the project will fizzle and die. I've worked so hard on this, I just want to see it finished."

  Molly laid her hand on her mom's. "If anyone can do it, you can." Her mother was a dynamo of energy, and once she got hold of a project, nothing got in her way. That's what had made her so successful in business all these years. She had no doubt her mother would see that project through.

  "I hate to disturb the two of you," her father said, holding out his hand toward Molly's mother. "But if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to dance with this beautiful lady."

  Molly grinned, and her mom smiled.

  "You don't mind, do you?" her mom asked.

  "Not in the least. You two go ahead."

  Her mom stood, and took her father's hand. They walked off toward the dance floor, and Molly felt butterflies in her stomach as her father pulled her mother into his arms.

  Now there was a forever love. Just like her sister and Luke, who sidled up next to her parents, the two couples whispering and laughing.

  It made her ache. Not with jealousy, but with a longing that was almost painful. Logan held Des close, Jane was up there with her husband, Will. Even Chelsea was out there with Bash, the two of them laughing together.

  She'd never felt more alone.

  She felt a hand on her shoulder. "How about we go out there and dance with everyone else?"

  Carter. She lifted her gaze to his. "No, thanks. I'm fine sitting this one out."

  He grasped her hand and pulled her up. Short of jerking her hand away from his and causing a scene, there wasn't much she could do. "We'll be polite to each other. Smile. Dance like old friends."

  The problem was, they weren't old friends, and holding his hand seemed all too . . . familiar. They'd held hands all through high school. They'd done a lot more than that. And as they stepped onto the dance floor and he put his arm around her waist, tugging her close, the years suddenly fell away.

  It was the sophomore dance. She'd been a freshman, and she'd had a ridiculous crush on Carter since day one of high school. They'd definitely noticed each other, and when he'd asked her to the dance, it was as if all her dreams had come true.

  He'd kissed her for the first time after the dance, and they were inseparable after that.

  Now, as she looked into the sea green of his eyes, she remembered every reason she'd fallen in love with him. The scar above his right eyebrow that he'd gotten playing baseball, the way he always held her gaze when they were close, the feel of his body moving against hers. They'd always fit so perfectly together. And when the deejay switched songs, they both stilled.

  It was their song. She knew every word. Carter had even sung it to her--off-key--when they were entwined together in his bed above the garage of his parent's house, after they'd made love.

  "I Knew I Loved You before I Met You."

  She tried to pull away.

  "Did you do this?" she asked.

  He looked as horrified as she must. "No. God, Molly, no. I would never . . ."

  But she'd already fled the dance floor, hurrying her way out of the ballroom, needing to get as far away from that song, away from the memories, as she could.

  She went outside, the cool night air settling around her like an icy blanket. Chilled, she wrapped her arms around herself and started walking, not even caring where she was going. She only knew she had to get away from the past, from that damn song and the bitter memories it represented.

  "Molly."

  She shook her head as Carter came up beside her. "Go away."

  "Molly, stop."

  She kept walking. Only there was no place to go. They were surrounded by nothing but deserted road for miles on end. Still, she kept walking, until Carter put his hand on her shoulders.

  "Stop. Stop running."

  "I'm not running," she said as she tu
rned to face him.

  "Isn't that what you've been doing for twelve goddamn years? Running? From me, from what happened?"

  "No. I've been living my life. Perfectly happy, without you."

  She was shaking. It was cold out here. She needed to get back inside. But she just . . . couldn't.

  He took off his jacket and flung it around her shoulders. She wanted to shrug it off, but she was freezing. She might be angry, might be confused and irritated, the past a hazy cloud in her mind right now, but she wasn't stupid. She slid her arms into it, his body warmth and his scent surrounding her, only adding to her confusion.

  "Leave me alone, Carter."

  "I've done that. For twelve years. Now we need to talk." He dug keys out of his pocket and led her to the parking lot, to one of the cars.

  "This isn't your car."

  "No, it's Bash's. I borrowed his keys. Slide in."

  She got in and he closed the door, then came around to the other side.

  Grateful to be inside the vehicle where it was warmer, she snuggled into his jacket, his scent making her even more miserable.

  When he turned to her, she stared out the window.

  "I'm sorry," he said.

  He'd said those same words twelve years ago. They mattered even less now than they had then. The damage had been done. Words wouldn't help.

  "Molly. Talk to me."

  She shifted to face him, the anger and hurt she'd held inside boiling to the surface. "About what, Carter? About how you and I messed up so badly all those years ago? How I got pregnant, and then we decided we were so in love we'd go ahead and get married and plan a future together? How I lost our baby, the one we both wanted so much we'd already begun to pick out names? And then you decided that maybe me miscarrying hadn't been such a bad thing, because it meant you could go ahead and go to college?"

  He took a deep breath. "That's not what I said, and you know goddamn well that's never what I meant."

  "Wasn't it? I lost our child, Carter, the baby you and I made together. I was crushed, while all you felt was relief, because your plans for the future wouldn't be waylaid. You got exactly what you wanted, which was your freedom. And you know why? Because you never loved me. You wanted out of the relationship my pregnancy trapped you in. Damn good thing I lost our baby, wasn't it?"

  He looked crushed. She wasn't buying it.

  "You know that's not how I felt."

  He reached out for her but she backed away, pushing herself into the corner of the seat.

  "It's exactly how you felt. Because you went to college and you never once looked back. I was nothing but a distant memory."

  She stared straight ahead, shaking from the fury she'd unleashed.

  "Feel better now that you got that off your chest?"

  She shot him a look. "No. I'll never feel better about what happened. And that's the part you'll never be able to understand."

  She shrugged out of his jacket and left it on the seat, then shoved open the door and got out, desperate to get away from him, away from the raw, painful memories she'd kept buried.

  Now she'd dredged them up again. Now she had to face the nightmare and the pain all over again.

  "Damn you Carter," she whispered into the night as she made her way back to the ballroom.

  She didn't even have her car. She couldn't escape, so she was stuck at the reception until the end.

  She should have never come home.

  CARTER SAT OUT in the parking lot, catching his breath long after Molly went inside. He figured the less she saw of him, the happier she'd be.

  Though he doubted she was going to be happy no matter what.

  He had no idea she still held so much resentment toward him. He might just sit in Bash's car the rest of the night and think about how fucked up this situation was.

  At least Molly would be leaving soon. Not that he wanted her to go, but there were obvious reasons the two of them shouldn't occupy the same space.

  He'd made a lot of mistakes when he was younger, and nothing he said was going to make up for them, so he should just stop trying. It was only making things worse.

  Now he knew why she'd spent all these years away from Hope.

  She'd wanted to stay far away from him, which only made him feel shittier than he'd felt twelve years ago when he'd found out Molly had left town.

  He wished there was something he could say, something he could do. Talking to her now only seemed to make it worse.

  Although he'd buried his own pain, now even thinking about what happened hurt. He'd been stupid to think they needed to dredge it all up again.

  For what reason? To relive that pain again?

  It was best to leave the past alone. Molly had run from it, and he'd done his best to forget it. They obviously both had coping mechanisms that worked, and the sooner they were hundreds of miles away from each other, the better.

  He finally got out of the car and locked it, then headed back toward the ballroom, intending to stay far away from Molly. But this was Luke's night, and he was going to celebrate it and leave his relationship with Molly out of it.

  Taking a deep breath, he put on a smile and opened the door.

  Chapter 7

  MOLLY HAD STAYED the night at Luke and Emma's watching the dogs, because the newlyweds spent the night at a penthouse suite at one of Tulsa's premiere hotels. She'd gotten up early this morning and driven over to her parents' house so she could help her mom decorate for the brunch. Everything with her mother had to be thematic, and in this case, it was going to be a Hawaiian bon-voyage-slash-luau theme to reflect Emma and Luke's upcoming island honeymoon.

  She'd spent the early morning hours drinking copious amounts of coffee to compensate for the lack of sleep she'd endured last night after her embarrassing meltdown with Carter. She'd gone back inside and dashed into the ladies room, repaired her makeup, and put on her brightest smile, because that night had not been all about her and she wasn't going to bring her drama to her sister's wedding. She'd danced and partied with the women, losing herself in the music and the fun, pushing the pain into the furthest recesses of her mind.

  But after the festivities she'd climbed into her sister's guest bed and promptly spent the next three hours staring up at the ceiling.

  Which meant today she was exhausted, grumpy and generally out of sorts. The complete opposite of her mother, who was filled with energy and enthusiasm, and cheerful as hell.

  "Molly, help me hang these lights, will you?" her mom asked.

  Lights? Why the hell did they need lights? "Uh, where's Dad?"

  "He already hung the lights over the fireplace, but I want some in the kitchen. And your father went to pick up the food."

  Oh, sure. He got the easy task. "Okay."

  They strung lights and paper lanterns and blew up hideous plastic palm trees. There was Hawaiian music playing, posters of the islands placed around the house, and coconuts on all the tables. There hadn't been time for her mom to cook, otherwise Molly might be elbows deep in some kind of tropical coconut concoction, so she'd been spared that much, at least.

  "There," her mom finally said, climbing down from the ladder where she'd hung an Aloha banner along the mantle. "That's festive, isn't it?"

  It looked like Hawaii had exploded inside her parents' house. "You bet."

  All Molly wanted to do was go lie down in one of the bedrooms and pass out. Especially knowing the wedding party would be partaking of the brunch today, which meant she'd have to face Carter.

  But she'd get through it, knowing it would be the last time. After today, she'd be on the road, out of town, and back where she belonged, which was anywhere but Hope--her motto for the past twelve years.

  She was already counting down the hours.

  When the door opened and her dad came in juggling a box filled with food, her mother hurried over to help and Molly followed. Soon after, people started filing in and she was too busy greeting people to even think.

  When Luke and Emma showed up, s
he hugged her sister.

  "How does it feel to be married?" she asked.

  Emma grinned. "Not all that different, surprisingly. Yet somehow . . . fairly awesome."

  "I'm really happy for you and Luke. I know we didn't get a lot of time together yesterday, but I want you to know that I believe in the two of you. I know you're going to make it work."

  Emma gave her a curious look. "Well, of course we are. We love each other."

  She didn't know why she'd said that. Maybe because she thought couples making it work was all too rare. Or maybe she was simply projecting. She squeezed Emma's hands. "That's right. You do. And it shows."

  Carter came in, and Molly excused herself, went to grab her purse, and fished out his keys. "I brought your car back."

  He took the keys. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

  "No problem."

  "Do you need a ride back to Emma's place?"

  "No. I'll be staying here at my mom and dad's tonight, then leaving tomorrow. My car's already here." She was having trouble making eye contact with him. Things had been awkward between them before, but now it was simply brutal.

  "Okay, then. Well, good luck, Molly. And drive safe."

  "Yeah, thanks." She turned and walked away, needing distance. She felt so much being close to him--and not all of it was bad.

  That was the problem, wasn't it? She still felt things for him. And she hated that she did. He'd probably moved on the instant she'd lost their baby, and here she was still feeling some ridiculous connection to him.

  She intended to sever that connection, once and for all, starting tomorrow.

  She was going to move on with her life and forget that Carter Richards had ever existed.

  Everyone sat down to eat. The food was really good, surprisingly.

  "I love the decor, Mom," Emma said. "Thank you for the sendoff."

  "Yes, thanks," Luke added. "We're so ready for Hawaii."

  "I can imagine," their mother said. "You've had a lot on your plates, with all the wedding planning and juggling your jobs on top of it. You both deserve to relax."

  Emma looked at Luke. "I won't know what to do with myself, taking more than just a few days off. Whatever will we do with ourselves?"

  Luke nuzzled her neck. "I'm sure we'll think of something."

  Their mother cleared her throat. Emma laughed, then turned to Chelsea. "Are you sure about watching the dogs? I could easily board them at the clinic. Rachel and Leanne would look after them."