by A. A LEVINE
That's the truth. I can see the numbers. I can compute the averages. But if she’s giving up on herself today, there’s no way she’ll make it through the next endurance trial. I take her hand in mine and give it a gentle squeeze. “You’re improving Holli. You’re working harder than anyone I know. You just keep doing what you’re doing.”
I cup her face in my hands and lean in to kiss her. Her lips are soft against mine and I apply a little more pressure tilting my head to deepen the kiss. Her lips part slightly and she sways into me gripping my forearms to hold herself steady. I anchor my arms around her waist pulling her against me. Her kiss is sweet and innocent, and I soak it up, hoping it will seep into me because I haven’t been sweet or innocent in a very long time.
John’s voice interrupts our embrace. “Xander.” She jumps away and cups her hand over her mouth those storm cloud eyes rounding in horror. “Thought you were monitoring family day.”
“Admin sent someone else to cover. They have to do a spot assessment for the families before we move into phase three of training.”
His eyes shift to Holli. “I take it that since you’re not up there your family didn’t show again.”
I see the sadness and pain pass over her face. Leave it to John to ruin a moment and make things worse all in the same breath. She shakes her head and stammers. “Will this affect my standing since they’re not here for this interview?”
“I wouldn’t worry about that getting you kicked out.” His eyes shift to me before turning back to her. “They’ll probably send someone to your house.” It’s the most civilized response he could offer given his disapproval of me and what he just saw. “Your inability to progress however, is another story.” He steps aside extending his hand towards the path that leads to the top of the cliff. “Might I suggest you make better use of your free time recruit?”
I wait until she’s out of range to confront his dickish behavior. “Is it really that hard to be nice to her?”
“You’re nice enough for us all.” He smirks at me but it’s more condescension than amusement I see on his face. “You think it’s wise to hook up with her?”
“Because she’s a recruit? Come on. One day she’ll be on the same playing field as us.”
“I mean because she’s barely seventeen.”
“Two years isn’t that big of an age difference, John.”
“Her experience level is the problem. You think Holli’d be making doe eyes at you if she knew how many girls you’ve hooked up with?”
“You say it like I’m the only one and I don’t have a habit of hooking up with recruits. Besides, it was a kiss, and I doubt I was first.”
“Doesn’t matter to me if she’s kissed every pimply faced boy between here and Michigan. You know she’s seeing a tutor which means her gift is unstable. If she can’t control her telepathy now, what do you think she’ll be like nursing a broken heart?”
“That won’t be a problem.”
“You can’t know that.” He walks away without having said why he came out here to begin with.
Chapter Thirteen
Holli
We amended the initial three times a week schedule almost immediately. I have daily meetings with Mrs. Price and at each one she holds that orange file like it holds the secrets to everything there is to know about me. Sometimes she just glances at it, re-reading what’s already written in it. Other times she adds more to it. I’ve finished the books (3 of them) she gave to and today she’s telling me we’re moving on to practical application which is different from what I’m learning in my self-defense class.
From my reading I’ve learned that not all telepaths are created equal. Some are so powerful that they can use the connection of one person to see what everyone else is doing. It can be overwhelming and the case studies in the books say sometimes telepaths become reclusive because the bombardment of images becomes too much for them. She’s pretty sure that, that’s the reason I have trouble focusing on one person at a time. If I can learn to freeze what I’m seeing and zoom in to one thought at a time, maybe I won’t be confined to the house for the rest of my life.
Today, Mrs. Price’s voice guides me through a more complex training scenario. She softly urges me to see the breakout, to connect to their emotions and to use what they’re hearing and seeing to pinpoint a location.
I ask the same question I asked last week. “How can I do that to somebody I’ve never met?”
“You’re trying to control how you interact. You can’t force it or fight it. Just let it happen. Somewhere you sense the psychic presence. It’s a hum, a light, or a tingle. It’s anything separate from what you, Holli, are tangibly feeling or hearing in this room. It’s a small thread glowing below the atoms in the air. Touch it and follow it back to its starting point. The closer you get to the source the stronger the sensation will be.”
“Like the mental equivalent of hot and cold?”
“Yes. Just like that.” She takes a breath and starts talking again. “Okay Holli, let’s play the game hot and cold.”
When I turn left in my mind, the hum dies down. When I look behind me, there’s an arc of electricity like a static shock. He’s behind me. I search through all the thoughts allowing that static to direct me. The humming gets louder and everyone and everything else fades away. I feel him before I see him, and as he slowly comes into focus, I explain where he is, what he’s wearing and who he’s with. I tell every detail I see. Relay anything, no matter how small, that can identify him.
“Good job Holli.”
She holds up her phone and shows me a picture. I got it all right, on down to the small emblem on his lapel. “That’s him, but why is he on your phone?” My shoulders slump in defeat. So I was just reading her mind? Another failed experiment.
“This is Agent Winston. It’s a selfie he just sent when I told him to confirm what you were seeing.”
I feel my lips stretch into a smile.
“It’s okay to be happy about it Holli. That was a great job. Enjoy your successes here and out there. If you don’t feel good about what you’re doing, it will translate into your training.”
I’d never thought of it that way before. I can and should feel good about this. It’s what I want.
“Ready to try again?”
We go through two more exercises before ending our session for the day. Mrs. Price warns me of some symptoms to look out for.
“Today was a great day. I’m proud of you did the work, and it paid off. I know you’re feeling good right now, but you may experience mental fatigue or late onset of a headache. You’re working your psychic muscle just like you would any other one and a physical manifestation over the next few days is perfectly normal. If it turns into a debilitating migraine or if you experience nose bleeds, I want you to go straight to medical.”
She jots down notes in the orange folder and dismisses me saying she’ll see me tomorrow. She pushes the button to reactive the S-chips and I stand gathering my things. I see the lights flashing green when the activation sequence finishes, which is why the bottom drops out of my stomach when I get a glimpse of her thoughts as she adds more notes to the page.
One more week and we can move on to the next testing cycle. It’s remarkable how strong her mind is. Withstanding multiple failed attempts to find the subject, her neuro pathways didn’t register any of the distress we commonly see with that amount of psychic effort. Comparison analyses to be conducted on the level of telepathic ability previously downgraded as referenced in case file number X23410. Recommend increasing search parameters. Amended order, reevaluate sibling for possible delayed manifestation.
There are so many questions swirling through my head. Like, why is she talking about Aiden? When was I downgraded, and what does that even mean? All those questions aside, there’s a bigger one that needs to be answered, as that light taunts me and I come to a life altering realization. Why aren’t the S-chips working on me?
It’s been two days since that session. My visit yesterday and
today were less intense to give my brain time to adjust. Today, there’s a tingle along the back of my neck as I’m leaving the administration building. It’s like I’m experiencing a sense of déjà vu. There’s someone getting out of a car as I reach the bottom of the steps. Agent Winston passes by me without so much as a hello. Mrs. Price didn’t mention it, but maybe a lingering connection is another one of those physical manifestations I can expect. Or is it an unintended consequence of my powers not being suppressed?
There’s another crowd gathered in front of the dorms. The voices carry from the center of the mob asking questions and expressing disbelief. “You’re still on campus? I can’t believe it.” When I get closer, I see the swarm of bodies gathered around Millicent, and I walk along the fringe of the group trying to be inconspicuous.
“Uh. Yeah.” She looks nervous and her hand keeps going to a spot on the back of her neck.
I reach the right side of the crowd and hear Wes ask, “Are you coming back to the team?”
Millicent’s eyes widen and she shakes her head emphatically before hurrying towards the science building.
Chloe pushes through the crowd stopping beside me. “Well, that was strange.” I say to no one in particular.
Several people agree, and Chloe watches Millicent for a few seconds before responding, “Not really. She got caught cheating. I’m not surprised that they don’t want her on the team.”
I heard Millicent’s thoughts the day they drove her away she seemed sincere, or was it all an act? My gut is telling me she really doesn’t know how those answers got there. I mean I have to give her the benefit of the doubt right? I got investigated for a fight I don’t remember having. “I don’t think that’s what happened.”
Chloe narrows her eyes at me before correcting my assumption. “She had the answers in her room under her mattress. That’s totally what happened and then had the nerve to say they just showed up in her dorm room. It wasn’t even a good lie that she told.” She links her arm through mine pulling me across the field. “You should be happy. Her getting booted meant you got to stay another week. Think about it they still needed one body to cut.”
She says that last part in a sing-song way and I wonder if she realizes how callous it sounds.
I’ve been watching Millicent since the day she returned. She’s different. Quieter. Nothing like the outspoken person she was. Millicent says got permission to come back to the compound, because she was reassigned to the medical wing to help with research. But whenever someone presses for more details, she scurries away like she’s afraid of her own shadow.
She used to be popular but now she’s sitting at a table alone in the cafeteria. Ostracized for being branded a cheater. It only takes one influential person to make a label stick. Her mental plea of innocence hasn’t been forgotten and I’ve wanted to ask her about what really happened. Today is my chance.
“Mind if I sit?”
She sort of peeks at me out the corner of her eyes. She doesn’t agree, but she doesn’t say no, either, so I slide into that seat across from her.
“I’m glad they worked everything out and let you stay. Gives me hope that if I drop below the red line, there’s still a chance they can find a place for me here.”
She nibbles at her pretzel and doesn’t respond. “How’s the research thing going? Easier than dealing with the training officers from hell I’ll bet.”
“You’d bet wrong.”
“Why’s that?”
She gasps in horror as if she hadn’t meant to speak, looks around nervously, and grips the edge of the table. “Nothing. Forget I said it.”
Please forget it. Her mind pleads. The rest of her thoughts are a jumble of nonsense, but the fear I sense is clear.
“Consider it forgotten.”
She calms slightly and I steer the conversation towards the lunch menu asking if the tuna melt on her plate is better than the chicken salad on mine. Our lunch hour ends, and she stands to leave, looking over her shoulder the way kids do when they think there are boogie-men under the bed or in the closet.
Xander
John steps beside me and I wait for his inevitable joke about me watching Holli. Today, she’s sitting at the table with the girl that got caught cheating in her A&P class. The rest of the recruits have been ignoring her all week.
“I see Turtles trying to make a new friend.” He points at the screen and rolls his eyes. “Her bleeding heart’s gonna get her into a lot of trouble.”
“She’s showing compassion to a fallen comrade. What’s wrong with that?”
“She’s too emotionally involved with everyone that looks like they need a helping hand. We need soldiers, not shrinks. If she can’t control her feelings, every rogue paranormal with a sob story will get the jump on her and they’ll be running amuck growing in numbers.”
“You don’t know how she’ll react in the field.”
“Yeah, I do. She’ll do the same thing she did at the campsite. The same thing she’s doing now, and the same thing she’s done every time she’s thought someone was being mistreated.”
I point to the screen. “Look at them and look at her. She’s the only one trying to help Millicent reintegrate.”
“Xander, the last time she helped, a boy ended up with a concussion.”
I flinch at his example. The facts around that are still too murky but the concussion was real. I choose to believe that was an isolated incident. “So her crime is she cares too much?”
“No, her crime is she cares too much, and it shows.” He leans against the desk. “And before you call me a heartless bastard, take a moment to think about what it takes to do this job.”
“They all know what Orion’s mission is here. Holli’s not complaining.”
“That’s because what she really knows about Orion, and our mission, could fill a thimble. What’ll happen to your girlfriend when she finds out just how hard being in the field can really get?”
Chapter Fourteen
Holli
I feel nervous and excited about today in a way that I haven’t been since the first day of school. All of our training until now has been generalized to cover telepaths, kinetics, and sapes (the distinction still chafes me, but I’m getting used to hearing and saying the word). Today’s lecture is for telepaths only.
“We’re called telepaths, mind readers, psychic lie detectors. No matter which label you choose, there’s a lot of responsibility that goes with it. To be able to read someone’s mind is a burden and gift that has to be used discriminately. Every thought someone has isn’t mean to be shared. That includes each other’s. Today we’re going to discuss blocking. Specifically, how to keep a rogue telepath from reading your mind.”
“Don’t the S-chips mute their powers too?”
“Yes. But what if you don’t get them activated in time? Or they’re damaged? Or you don’t know there’s a breakout around? The techniques we discuss today will help you in those types of situations. They’re not a long-term solution, but they can help you keep your mind clear of mission critical information and your team safe until the rogue can be neutralized.” He sweeps his eyes around the room. “And in case you’re thinking about it, you should know these tricks won’t work here during your debriefs.” A nervous chuckle erupts around the room. “Okay, let’s go over some basics.”
I jot down notes as he talks.
Rule number one: water can be a psychic barrier.
Rule number two: split your focus. Fill your mind with something so powerful that it hurts another telepath to see it and makes it impossible to see beyond it.
Rule number three: learn to use the link they’ve created against them. While they’re digging around in your head. You can dig around in theirs.
He offers other helpful tidbits and we get to practice on each other. I especially like the part when we all try to dive into his mind, even though it turns out to be a fail.
When we get to the question-and-answer portion of the lecture I think about askin
g some questions. Well, one question, really. I slowly raise my hand and John reluctantly calls on me. “Turtle?”
“I had a question about a push?”
The room gets quiet and I feel like the air’s been sucked out of the room. The person that’s most affected by my question is Alex who’s in the back of the room and she answers my question with one of her own. “What about it recruit?”
“What is it?”
“A push is when a telepath is strong enough to literally push you out of their minds. Some can even push you to believe things that aren’t true, or do things that are out of character for you. They’re extremely dangerous, and if you think you’ve encountered one, don’t engage. Run, as fast as you can in the opposite direction.”
I sink down in my seat. Didn’t see that coming.
My concentration slips. Didn’t you? Asks the voice in my head. The noises and voices in my head have been getting louder and more frequent. It’s not just Aiden’s voice as my subconscious that I’m hearing anymore. Now, I hear a lot of people saying a lot of different things. A telepath that can push is dangerous. What about one whose powers can’t be suppressed?
Xander
“Okay, okay, settle down. I get you all have tons of energy because you all went to bed right after dinner last night.” It’s a joke, because I know some of them were out partying.
“We’re calling today, tomorrow and Monday do-over days, because our previous capture the flag event ended prematurely.” They all look at Holli and she hangs her head a bit. “We are still required to do this activity as part of your training curriculum. You’re assigned to the same team as before.” I really wish I could correct that decision, but it’s the way the names fell when we drew them from the bucket. “Go collect your gear, and toiletries like before. Be back here in twenty minutes.”
We hike out a little further than before and let the teams select where they want to set up. Alex is helping someone anchor the stakes in her tent and John’s out checking on the seniors that have been out here since early this morning. Alex looks at me across the campsite then crosses over to me. “What’s on your mind Xander?”