Please accept, my friend, my most sacred and sincere vows,
MP
25
Trouble
TEN TRIADS—A FULL WEEK—passed in relative peace, and then Thiyo and Ket were preparing to go to sleep in their side-by-side cots when Ket reached out and put a hand on Thiyo’s arm. Ket’s candle was the last one flickering in their dormitory and his hair was brilliant gold in the warmth of its light. The shadows deepened around his eyes. He kept his voice as low as the light. “Have you been having any… trouble?”
“All kinds,” Thiyo said dryly, thinking of the book he’d barely had time to look at, and Alizhan’s increasing alienation, and his bizarre encounters with Ayat.
"No. I mean, with… talking. Listening. Understanding. Whatever it is you do."
Magic. Suddenly, their soft conversation felt too loud. “No. Have you?”
Ket shook his head. “No. Well, I haven't tried. But Henny—”
“Shouldn't be trying anything, either.”
“If you saw the people who come to the infirmary—people with their bones crushed in mining accidents—you'd want to help them, too,” Ket said. “And I haven’t noticed you using any self-restraint in the matter, so spare her your judgment.”
“That’s different,” Thiyo said. He couldn’t stop using his ability—not without copious quantities of venom. Or Henny’s touch. But Thiyo’s gift wasn’t instantly identifiable as magic. Plenty of people spoke more than one language. “I can pass.”
“I can pass,” Ket said, and Thiyo had never heard that dark edge in his voice. Because Ket was shy and sweet, and so relaxed and reasonable all the time, it was easy to forget how dangerous he was. But in the same way that bears and big cats could curl up and nap anywhere they pleased, Ket never had to worry. He was a deadly predator, too. “And so can Henny, most of the time. She makes hurt people feel better, and that’s what healers do. No one complains.”
“The danger isn’t the people she’s healing. It’s other witnesses,” Thiyo said, even though Ket had just made it clear that witnesses were never a problem for him. Better not to go down that path. “And I understand you both want to help people, but she shouldn’t do it at the expense of her own life.”
“That's just it. She isn’t.”
That was unexpected. It piqued his curiosity enough that he forgot his warning tone. “But she’s been trying?”
Ket nodded. “It’s not working.”
“So we need to identify the problem. Is it her or is it here?”
“How do we figure that out?”
“She needs to test it on you,” Thiyo said. “Discreetly, of course. I assume that will be more pleasant than the other way around.”
“Right,” Ket said. “And one more thing.”
Thiyo waited.
“Do you, um… do you think the women here are a little… forward?”
Thiyo raised an eyebrow. “Compared to the brothel where you live?”
“No, I’m being serious, I—women don’t usually—” Even by the light of a single candle, it was obvious Ket was blushing.
They couldn’t be more than five years apart in age, but somehow Ket managed to make Thiyo feel old. He’d started this conversation by warning Ket about keeping their secrets and now he was feeling even more protective. It was a novel experience. Until now, he’d never wanted to protect anyone other than himself. “Are you being harassed?”
“No, no, none of them have done anything wrong. I’m just… surprised.”
“Well, in that case, enjoy the attention.”
Ket let out a single, short laugh, loud enough that someone else in the room grunted a reprimand. Ket dropped his head, covering his face with his free hand. “You have no idea what it feels like to be shy, do you?”
“No,” Thiyo said. “The whole concept is baffling. Ket, are you uncomfortable with women flirting with you because you’re waiting for Henny?”
Ket looked up, letting his hand fall back into his lap. “Me and Henny, we’re complicated. We like each other, but we have… different opinions.”
“I hope it’s not about what’s between your legs,” Thiyo said. He knew some people were just born liking one thing or the other, with no choice in the matter, but the idea was as foreign and perplexing as the thought of someone not enjoying attention.
“No, no, Gods, no,” Ket said quickly. If possible, his cheeks were redder than before. How had this poor man survived life in a brothel? “She, uh… she’s… satisfied.” A tiny cough. Thiyo would have announced that fact with far more enthusiasm. “But I asked her to quit working and she won’t.”
“Ah.”
“I want us to move out, get a place together,” Ket said. “I’ll keep working for Zhenev, but we don’t have to live there.”
“And what is Henny going to do, in this imagined future?”
“Anything she likes.”
“Except work.”
“She could work! She could do other work, different work. I just…” Ket sighed.
“I don’t think we’re going to solve this one,” Thiyo said. “At least, you’re not going to solve it by talking to me.”
Ket sighed again and blew out the candle. “Sleep well.”
“Sleep well.” The reply was automatic and meaningless. Instead of calming down for sleep, Thiyo’s mind was already sorting through everything Ket had said. Was Henny really losing her power? When they’d arrived, Alizhan had said the mess hall was quiet. Was she losing her power, too? Were they all in danger? Was it something about this place? If Ket lost his ability, he’d lose his job at Zhenev’s, and his imagined life with Henny would be gone with it.
If Thiyo lost his gift, what would become of him?
It was a relief to get back to work next shift, even if Ayat was there, eyeing him every time he glanced into the other room. What had he done to her? Did she watch every new arrival so balefully?
Sardas was better company, humming to himself as he assembled movable type. At one point, he said cautiously, “You know, I've never met anyone like you.”
“No one has.” The quip was out before Thiyo could consider it. He gave Sardas a smile to make sure he knew it was meant in good humor.
Sardas nodded and smiled back. “I suppose that's true for all of us.”
A beat of silence passed before Thiyo recognized the priest’s opening statement for what it was—a question. A very Estvan question. Sardas thought Thiyo was declining to answer—which, in a way, he was. Saying nothing was the wisest course of action.
And yet.
He wanted to talk to someone. Someone who hadn't been trapped in a wagon with him for a week. Someone who wasn't consumed with paranoia. Someone who loved books and words as much as he did.
Ayat had told him not to trust anyone. And she didn’t seem to like Sardas—but she didn’t seem to like anyone. And as a priest of Doubt, she'd be naturally inclined to dislike priests of the Balance. Thiyo had even heard that the two sects had brawls in the streets of Laalvur sometimes. He’d have to ask Ev and Alizhan if that was true. Priests of different traditions certainly didn't hesitate to trade blows in the Estvan mess hall.
And besides, Thiyo had never done what he was told.
“I’m from Hoi,” he told Sardas, and it was worth it just to see the older man's face light up with a smile.
“I wondered,” he admitted. “But I know so little of the islands. There was no way for me to guess which one you were from. You know, there's a text in one of these cupboards that no one's ever been able to read… Perhaps you could take a look?”
“Of course,” Thiyo said. Sardas went to one of the cabinets along the wall. He rested his cane against it then bent down slowly to open it. He pulled out a towering stack of books and papers. The top half slid off and books fluttered and thumped to the floor. A cloud of dust rose into the air. Thiyo knelt to help him collect the mess, handing things back to Sardas, who shuffled through them. As he sorted the books and papers, putting some b
ack into the cabinet, Thiyo noticed a tiny spot of faded color on the floor. It was a circle smaller than his fingertip. At first he thought it was a scrap of some expensive paper, but when he touched it, his index finger came away with a miniature star-shaped bloom resting on top. A pressed flower. It must have fallen out of the stack. Some of the fanciest paper did have leaves and flowers pressed into it. Thiyo smiled and stuck the little thing in his pocket.
Sardas finished sorting and restacking the books. “Damn,” he said. “I can’t find it. Maybe I put it in storage. I’ll look a few other places later.”
“Perhaps in the meantime you'd tell me more about yourself—if that isn't terribly rude of me to ask. Or even if it is. I've always been more concerned with other peoples’ manners than my own.”
Sardas laughed. “Most people are, but few would admit it so frankly. As for me, there’s very little to tell that I haven’t mentioned already. I’m from Laalvur, but I’ve spent most of my adult life here. As you saw, I’ve been here long enough to adopt the Estvan custom of not asking questions. But I don’t mind if you ask me things.”
“Did you learn other languages because you wanted to see the world?”
“Oh, it was nothing so purposeful as that,” Sardas said, laughing again. “I’ve loved them since I was a child. You’ll think me a dull, dried-up old man for saying this—and that’s true enough, since I haven’t left Estva in years and I rarely even leave this room—but new words are a thrill.”
It was Thiyo who laughed then. “Not at all. I understand completely.”
“There’s a kind of animal pleasure in sound, I think,” Sardas mused.
“Yes, absolutely. Forming the sounds with your tongue and teeth, it’s so physical, and it’s delicious. My mother always said that if I could eat words, I’d never come home for dinner again.”
“Is that a saying among your people, or was it specific to her?”
“Oh, it was all hers,” Thiyo said. He rarely smiled when he thought of his mother. No doubt she would still be seething if Thiyo ever made it back to Hoi. But Sardas had an easy way about him, and he was asking Thiyo more questions about language, so Thiyo pushed aside his other thoughts. They made pleasant conversation and the rest of the shift passed so easily that Thiyo forgot all about decoding the book or avoiding Ayat’s suspicious eyes.
Alizhan’s companions tried hard to cheer her up every time they shared a meal. Each of them always had some mundane detail of their shift to retell. Henny and Ket talked about their grateful patients. Ev talked about people she’d met on her rounds. Thiyo talked about the books he was preparing to print. Alizhan wanted to be grateful, but she felt as dead as the Estvan air. There were no feelings outside her or inside her.
“Oh, look at this. I found it on the floor at work,” Thiyo said. He retrieved something from his pocket and stretched his hand across the table. At the tip of his finger was a tiny pressed flower.
Ev, Henny, and Ket all leaned toward his hand and smiled, but Alizhan froze. A dreamlike memory filtered into her vision like sunlight through a gap in the curtains. Iriyat, seated on her bed, twirling a tiny purple flower between her thumb and her index. The star-shaped blooms were one of Iriyat’s own breeds. “Where the fuck did you get that?” she hissed. Heedless of the danger of touching Thiyo’s hand, she grabbed the flower and brought it closer to her face, pinching it like it might escape. Five pointed petals in Varenx House lavender.
“I just said—” Thiyo started, still holding his hand out in the open, too surprised to withdraw.
“This is Iriyat’s,” Alizhan said. Her pulse beat in her ears. There was no escape from Iriyat, not even in this furthest Nightward corner of the world. Alizhan should have known. “It can’t be here. Not unless she’s here.”
“It’s just a flower,” Thiyo said. “I’m sure it fell off some fancy paper in one of our cabinets.”
“This is a flower that Iriyat bred,” Alizhan said.
“That’s a sin against God’s Balance,” Ev said. “She’s so religious. Are you sure she breeds—”
“It’s a sin to murder and torture people, too,” Alizhan snapped. “She’s not likely to balk at breeding new plants.”
“Alizhan, breathe. Iriyat can’t be here. You’ve said yourself she’s afraid to sail. Maybe it’s a coincidence. You know there are plants here that can’t grow in Laalvur. Like nightvine. Things that grow in the springs. Maybe that flower just looks similar to one you saw at Varenx House.”
“You don’t believe me,” Alizhan said. Incredulity echoed through her voice. Why couldn’t they see? Why didn’t Ev trust her anymore? That hurt, but it hurt in the distant way that used to mean someone else was experiencing pain close to Alizhan. But this time, it had to be her own pain, since there was no one else she could read.
She rubbed her fingertips together, crumbling the flower, and walked away.
Ev thought her new job would keep her outdoors, on or around the ramparts, all the time. But Pirkko explained that one of their duties was to find people who hadn’t shown up for their work shift.
“The rules,” Ev said. She couldn’t keep the edge of suspicion out of her voice.
“Good rules,” Pirkko said. “Make sure people not fall down mine shaft.”
“That is important,” Ev allowed, although when they were called down to the kitchens, she had a sinking feeling. They weren’t going to pull anyone out of a mine shaft in there, and Ev knew exactly who was missing.
The heat in the long, narrow underground room weighed on her. She shouldn’t have left Alizhan alone down here. Ev stood by, sweating, while a large, dour woman in an apron explained to Pirkko what Ev had already guessed. Alizhan hadn’t come to work.
“Your friend,” Pirkko said, and Ev nodded with resignation. “You find.”
“I’ll find her,” Ev said. Alizhan wouldn’t react well if she showed up with Pirkko in tow. She might not react well even if Ev was alone. Why was she drawing attention to herself like this? Couldn’t she just lie low for a few triads? They were so close to getting out. But that tiny little flower had really set her off. “Maybe you should go look for the next person on your list.”
Ev was grateful that Pirkko accepted this proposal without asking any questions. Now all she had to do was find Alizhan and drag her back to the place she least wanted to be. Where would she go? Ev hadn’t spent much time with her since their arrival. But she’d been alone with Thiyo while Ev had been in the hot springs with Henny and Ket. Maybe he’d know.
The long walk to the rooms that held the press and bindery did nothing to calm Ev’s nerves. Thiyo didn’t even look up when she appeared in the doorway, absorbed as he was in arranging tiny metal characters on a plate. He was laughing at something the handsome older priest with the cane had just said. Through the door on the other side of the room, Ev could see a white-skinned, black-robed priest of Doubt with her kohl-dark eyes narrowed.
At least Thiyo seemed to like his work better than Alizhan.
“Thiyo.”
He lifted his head from his work and turned to her. “Switching jobs?”
“No. Looking for Alizhan. She didn’t show up for work. Do you have any idea where she might be?”
“We went up on the ramparts for our little chat,” Thiyo said. “I assume she was looking for a suitably dramatic spot to feel melancholy. I’d check the ramparts and any roof she might be able to get to.”
“In her case, that’s all of them.”
“Sure you don’t want to switch jobs?”
Ev couldn’t laugh. She shook her head instead. “I don’t know why she’d do this.”
“That was a serious offer,” Thiyo said. “I’ll look for her, if you want. She’s upset in general, but I think she might be especially upset with you.”
“But I didn’t do anything!”
“Exactly,” Thiyo said, whatever that meant. “Sardas, will you excuse me for a moment? We need to go check on a friend. She didn’t show up for her work assign
ment and we think she’s not well.”
The older man nodded. “Of course.”
When they were in the corridor, farther away from anyone who might overhear, Ev whispered, “What do you mean, ‘exactly’?”
“Let’s find out if I’m right first,” Thiyo said. Then he turned to go up the stairs at the end of the corridor and led her up three flights. It was still a shock to exit into the darkness every single time. The light never changed in Laalvur or Nalitzva, but at least there was light.
Thiyo was certainly right about Alizhan’s chosen sulking spot, although it took them four tries to find her. Even then, they almost missed her, huddled at the corner of the roof like the world’s most pitiful gargoyle. She was crouched on a narrow stone railing and she didn’t move when they approached.
Of course not. Her senses were dull here.
“Alizhan,” Ev said.
Alizhan whipped around and jumped down from her perch. She put her back to the railing and clutched it with both hands, like she might have to leap over it at any second. Then she said, “Thiyo. And Ev.”
“Are you alright?” Ev asked. “You didn’t show up for work and Pirkko—”
“Perhaps the better question is how much longer you can stand to be here,” Thiyo interrupted smoothly. “One triad? Two? I’m almost finished, and then hopefully Henny and Ket will be willing to take us to the coast and then the two of you can get back to Laalvur.”
Alizhan’s expression twisted in misery at the idea of staying two more triads in Estva. Ev supposed if she’d been deprived of food and sleep, she’d feel the same. Although it was hard not to feel that Alizhan was depriving herself of food and sleep. They could find a solution if Alizhan would only let them help. Was this the Night madness Thiyo had mentioned? Ev didn’t want to believe that. “That’s not long,” she said, trying to sound encouraging. “You can make it another two triads.”
Alizhan hugged herself and shook her head. “They know, Ev.”
It took a moment to understand. Alizhan must mean that the people of Estva were aware of her abilities. But how could she know that? “I thought you couldn’t read them.”
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