by Robyn Carr
They’d remained close through so many monumental events. Thirteen years ago, Jake had married Mary Ellen Rathgate and within two years she’d left him for another man, breaking his heart. Ten years ago Max Bronski died of a heart attack. Eight years ago, Addie’s father broke his back on the job and was disabled for the remainder of his life. He had barely left the bonds of earth when Addie’s mother suffered her severe stroke. Since neither was close to their siblings, Jake and Addie had only each other to lean on for a long time now.
They cleaned up the dishes together and even though Adele had a dishwasher, Jake washed and she dried. They talked about the neighborhood, the people they knew in common, their families. Adele said Justine worked all the time. Jake’s younger brother, Marty, didn’t have the same history with the market that Jake had and only worked there when he was between jobs. “I think it’s high time he grew up,” Jake said, not for the first time.
When Jake was leaving, he told her to plan on a seven o’clock movie the next night. Dinner might be popcorn, and if they were still hungry afterward, they could get a bite to eat. He put a big hand on her shoulder, gave it a squeeze and said, “It was nice to spend some time with you, Addie.”
“It was. Thank you, Jake. See you tomorrow.”
He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead before leaving.
* * *
Jake had had a thing for Adele for years, but it seemed the timing was never right. When he first saw her as something more just a kid, when she was blossoming before his very eyes, she was still a teenager and he was a man in his early twenties. Then she went to college, and he fell in love with Mary Ellen and married her in short order. By the time Mary Ellen had dumped him, leaving him shattered and lonely, Addie was involved with someone at Berkeley so he put her from his mind.
But every time she was home in Half Moon Bay for holidays or just to spend a weekend with her parents, she became bigger than life and he was aware of a bothersome desire. Yet, she was involved with someone. Then he heard through her mother that her romance had failed, so he lectured himself on patience and gentlemanly distance.
When she enrolled in graduate studies, he was blown away by her brilliance. He loved talking with her when she was in Half Moon Bay because she was fascinating; he believed she knew a little bit about everything. He could sit in a mesmerized trance just listening to her talk for as long as she’d go on.
Then she confessed she was involved with someone. She didn’t want to say too much about the new relationship. “But are you in love?” he asked her.
“Oh, I’m just a goner,” she said. “But I’m playing it as cool as I can so I don’t scare him away. This time I plan to take my time, not like the last time when I dove in headfirst and almost drowned.”
He couldn’t help but think about how he’d been with Mary Ellen. She had been so beautiful, so sexy, it took him about five minutes to want her desperately, and once he claimed the prize, he found there was very little substance there. Mary Ellen, God bless her, was shallow as a bird bath. She cheated on him almost immediately.
He gave Addie a lot of credit for taking it slow.
Then she returned home. Not for a visit, but to stay. She said it was because her father was injured and facing surgeries, but Jake had known Addie for a long time and he could tell there was more to the story. Then he watched her grow before his very eyes and knew what the something more was. She was pregnant. And she did not have the love and support of the baby’s father. She was alone.
Jake made sure he checked on her often, at least a few times a week. If the moment presented itself, he just might tell her that he was willing to be that man. He had come to realize how much he wanted to be with her. But he never found the appropriate time.
There was once a moment of affection that he thought might lead to intimacy. They had a conversation about everything she’d been through losing her baby, and it was intense.
It filled Jake with joy that she felt comfortable confiding in him until she started sobbing. Jake did the only thing he knew to do—he comforted her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead before he found his lips on hers. They kissed, clumsily, and then she’d pulled away. She’d been through so much and apparently was ill prepared to deal with anything more.
He had been waiting five years for her to decide she had a little more to give. And he gave as much as he dared.
She wasn’t the only one with fragile feelings.
* * *
A nice dinner with Jake the previous night and an invitation out for the evening had put Adele in a more positive frame of mind. But who better than her older sister to knock her off that perch. Justine called to say she was coming by because there was something she needed to talk to Adele about. It was Saturday, and she wasn’t going to her office.
Justine was Adele’s opposite, in appearance and almost everything else. She was a tall, slim blonde while Adele was a shorter, rounder brunette. They used to joke that they weren’t from the same family. But Justine’s hair was colored and she wore blue contact lenses, making her look more Scandanavian than Italian. And she was chic, but then Justine lived in a professional, high-income world and was expected to be chic. Adele, on the other hand, always thought she’d be a natural as an English professor, one who wore oversize sweaters and flat black shoes. And she usually pulled her hair back in a clip or pinned it in a boring bun.
They had very little in common, yet another reason they weren’t close.
When Justine arrived, Adele eyed her stylish haircut. “How much does that supershort blond coif cost?” Adele asked. “Because I’ve been thinking about making a change...”
“It’s pretty expensive, actually,” Justine said, giving Adele a brief hug. “I’m thinking of letting it grow out... Scott isn’t crazy about short hair.”
“So what if he isn’t? It’s your head, right? And I think it’s wonderful. Would you like coffee?”
“I suppose it’s too early for wine,” Justine said. “How are you getting along since the funeral? Are things beginning to fall into place?”
“I suppose,” Adele lied. “Not nearly as quickly or neatly as I hoped. All those things I’d been looking forward to, like having the time and energy to lose some weight and get in shape, or maybe at least look at a university program catalog, go back to my studies... Day after day goes by and I haven’t done anything. I suppose I’m a little depressed.”
“There’s a lot of that going around,” Justine said dourly. “Listen, I have to tell you some things. It’s difficult.”
Adele didn’t like the sound of that, yet she couldn’t imagine what might be coming. Justine lived a charmed life. “Where do you want to sit to have this difficult conversation?” she asked.
Before she even finished the sentence, Justine had taken herself to the living room and sat on the edge of a wingback chair. That sight alone, her tall, lithe and lovely sister perched, stiff and tense, in the old chair, emphasized to Adele that she hadn’t even started her redecorating-remodeling project. Justine’s house, though she was terribly busy, was breathtakingly decorated and picture-perfect. This old house was not only dated, it was threadbare. And her usually poised sister was very uptight.
“Let me cut right to it. Something has happened,” Justine said. “There have been some changes in the company. My company. Serious downsizing and outsourcing. My job hasn’t been eliminated yet, but there’s no question there’s going to be a major change. One that will involve an income adjustment.”
“Oh no! Why is this happening?” Adele asked.
“A lot of complicated reasons that all boil down to profits and losses. We’ve merged with other software manufacturers twice, laid off employees and tacked a not very subtle For Sale sign on the door. They’re paring down corporate officers to combine them since the latest merger. When two companies become one, there’s no point in two VPs of Operati
on, two presidents, two general counsels. I’ve already been asked if I’m interested in taking over Human Resources since I have experience in dealing with many of their legal issues. I’m thinking about it, but it comes at a significant pay cut. It has forced me to think about other things.”
Could one of them be asking your husband to get a real job? Adele thought. She kept her mouth shut about that. Instead, she asked, “Like what?” Wondering what any of this had to do with her.
“I’m planning to see a headhunter, look for another firm that’s in need of general counsel. Since I’m experienced in corporate law, I could join a law firm but I’d be on the bottom rung. Or... I’ve even given some thought to private practice. My experience in Human Resources lends to a number of specialties. I have an open mind. I might be qualified to work for the state. Whatever, I have to be thinking now. I have a feeling, a strong feeling, my income is going to be severely impacted. Soon.” And she wondered how Justine’s husband was handling this news.
Justine started dating Scott in college, right around the time Addie was born. He was undeniably smart, though not a great student and not really motivated, except maybe on the golf course. Based on what little information Justine had shared over the years, Scott had never leaned toward ambition, but he was a steady, good man and devoted father. He got his degree in business, started out in sales for a big sporting goods manufacturer. He did pretty well, and while he was doing that, Justine took the LSAT and killed it. She went to law school—Stanford. Scott was very supportive of the idea. Just make me a stay-at-home dad with a set of clubs, he had said.
Since Scott traveled all the time in his first job, they settled in San Jose in a small town house. It was convenient for him as a base of operations and close enough to Stanford for Justine to commute. That was such a long time ago. Adele remembered that town house. She’d been there quite a few times as a little girl.
She remembered Justine had said Scott was excited that his wife was going to be a successful lawyer. “That’s all we want,” he had said. “She’ll knock ’em dead in the legal world, and I’ll take care of all the domestic details.”
That transition had been gradual, but eventually it led them to where they were now—Justine, a self-made woman with a high-paying corporate job and Scott, a stay-at-home dad and husband who worked part-time in a sporting goods outlet. He had been a volunteer EMT, played a lot of sports, loved hiking, kayaking, scuba diving, boating.
“What does Scott say about this?” Adele asked.
Justine shrugged. Then she said, “He’ll support my decision.” She straightened. “I wonder how difficult it would be to find a small family law practice looking for someone like me. Or to start my own practice—a one-woman practice.”
“Has it ever occurred to Scott to get a serious job?” Adele asked. “I mean, forgive me, since I haven’t had a serious job in my life.”
Justine smiled patiently. “Your jobs have all been serious, and without you we’d have been lost. If you hadn’t dedicated yourself to Mom’s care, it would have cost our whole family a fortune. We’re indebted to you. And I agree it would help if Scott worked more than part-time, but I think that ship sailed years ago. He’s only worked part-time since Amber and Olivia came along.”
Adele adored her nieces, ages sixteen and seventeen. She was much closer to them than she was to Justine.
“I’m sorry you’re going through this,” Adele said. “I wish there was something I could do.”
“Well, the thing is, the future is looking very uncertain. I might need your help,” Justine said.
“What could I do?” she asked.
“Adele, I don’t like to push you, but you have to get it together. We have to make some decisions about what you’re going to do, what we’ll do with the house. I realize what I’ve given you for your hard work hasn’t been much, but I don’t know how long I can keep it up—paying for the maintenance on this house, the taxes, a modest income for you... I don’t want to panic prematurely,” Justine said. “Maybe I’ll be able to work everything out without too much hassle, but if I run into trouble... Money could get very tight, Addie. All those promises I made—that I’d help financially while you fix up the house, that I’d give you my half of the proceeds when and if you sold it... I might not be able to come through. I know, I know, I promised you it would be yours after all of your sacrifice, but you wouldn’t want me to ignore the girls’ tuition or not be able to make the mortgage...”
“But Justine!” Adele said. “That’s all I have! And I was considering finishing school myself!” Though if she was honest, she had no plans of any kind.
Justine reached out to her, squeezing her hand. “We’re a long way from me needing money. I just felt it was only fair to tell you what’s going on. If we’re in this together, we can both make it. I swear, I will make this all work out. I’ll make it right.”
But as Adele knew, they had never really been “in it together” in the past, and they wouldn’t be for very long in the future. Addie’s dedication to their parents allowed Justine to devote herself to her career. For that matter, it should be Justine and Scott shoring each other up. At least until Justine had a better idea. But where was Scott today? Golfing? Biking? Bowling?
Adele realized she had some difficult realities to face. When she dropped out of school to help her mother care for her father, she wasn’t being completely altruistic. She’d needed a place to run away to, hiding an unplanned pregnancy and covering her tattered heart. She’d never told her family that her married lover—her psychology professor—had broken down in tears when he explained he couldn’t leave his wife to marry Adele, that the college would probably fire him for having an affair with a student. For her, going home was the only option.
At the time Justine and Scott had been riding the big wave and didn’t lust after the small, old house in Half Moon Bay. That house was chump change to them. So, they worked out a deal. Adele had become her mother’s guardian with a power of attorney. But the will had never been adjusted to reflect just one beneficiary rather than two. In the case of the death of both parents, Adele and Justine would inherit equal equity in the eighty-year-old house and anything left of the life insurance. At the time, of course, neither Adele nor Justine had ever considered the idea that Adele would be needed for very long. But before Adele knew it, eight years had been gobbled up. She was thirty-two and had been caring for her parents since she was twenty-four.
Adele, as guardian, could have escaped by turning over the house, pension, social security to a care facility for her mother and gone out on her own, finding herself a better job and her own place to live. She wasn’t sure if it was her conscience or just inertia that held her in place for so long.
“I just wanted to make sure you understood the circumstances before anything more happens,” Justine said. “And since you don’t have any immediate plans, please don’t list the house for sale or anything. Give me a chance to figure out what’s next. I have children. I’ll do whatever I can to protect them and you. They’re your nieces! They love you so much. I’m sure you want them to get a good education as much as I do.”
Does anyone want me to have a real chance to start over? Adele asked herself. This conversation sounded like Justine was pulling out of their deal.
“I’ll think about this, but Scott has responsibilities, too,” she pointed out.
“He’s been out of the full-time workforce for so long...” Justine said.
“Just the same, we all have to live up to our adult commitments and responsibilities. And you’ve had a highfalutin job for a long time. You’ve made a lot of money. You can recover. I haven’t even begun.”
“I need your help, Addie,” Justine said. “You need to come up with a plan, something we can put in motion. Make plans for your next step, put a little energy into this old house, make suggestions of what we should do with it, everything. Let’s figur
e out what to do before I find myself short and unable to help. I’m sorry, but we have to move forward.”
Chapter Two
Justine’s visit and her ominous predictions created a pretty dark day for Adele. Her head ached from her brow being furrowed all day. She hadn’t even begun to figure out what she wanted to do next before Justine threw a wrench into everything. Addie was lost in deep thought; she took a couple of hours with a calculator, looking over the numbers. They were pretty bleak. It had been a consideration to get a home equity loan to improve the property before selling it, but if Justine couldn’t swing it, how was Addie supposed to? She was pretty sure one had to have a job before being approved for a loan.
Addie had no money, no income, just what Justine provided. There was a little saved from the insurance, but without money from Justine, she was going to run out soon. How could her sister do this to her now? While Addie cared for their mother, Justine and her family had been to France and Italy and Scotland, not to mention many long weekend trips here and there. They had all the sports equipment under the sun and lived in a very nice house. And now, after Adele had put in eight years, Justine was warning her that she might pull the rug out from under her? How could she?
She tried to remember that Justine hadn’t had it easy as it all looked. Law school was a struggle for her, though in the end she graduated with honors. Then she worked long hours while Scott started to work shorter and shorter weeks. When Justine wanted a baby and didn’t conceive, she saw infertility specialists and was thirty-five before being blessed with the birth of her daughter Amber. Then, like so many infertile women, she ignored birth control after Amber was born, thinking she just couldn’t get pregnant. Olivia came eleven months after Amber.