by Kate Stewart
But I’m determined to. And I refuse to let her fuck with what’s left in my chest.
“Harper, what are you doing here?”
“I was invited by someone, right now, I don’t think you would recognize him.”
“Consider yourself un-invited. Surprised you found your way here. When you leave, go back the same way you came.”
“Shut up, asshole,” Trevor spouts before making his way to Harper. “Hey, you. Good to see you.”
She gives him a grin with his greeting of “Hey, you,” and he pulls her into a hug, lifting her off her feet. This lights me up as I feed on the animosity in the barn and the irritation at her sudden appearance. He doesn’t know her. Not like I do. He’s only met her once. But she’s done nothing but wreak havoc on my life since the minute I fell for her. She can’t be here, invading my space, burning more of herself into my memory. She has no right to weasel her way in with any sort of opinion or air of authority. I can feel my pulse thundering at my neck as Trevor hugs her a lot longer than appropriate. “Looking good, girl.”
“Thanks. And look at you, all grown up.”
“Yeah?” His grin is full of pride. “You’d be surprised how much I’ve gro—”
“Happy for the both of you,” I snap, “and your reunion and all, but we’re in the middle of something here.”
Tony chooses that moment to make me hate him. “Actually, she’s just in time. I’m done embarrassing your sorry ass today. Might as well let her take a crack at you.”
She looks past my brother’s shoulder, lifting her brown eyes to mine in challenge. “What can it hurt?”
“This is ridiculous.” I hold out my gloves. “Rip, take these off. Harper, thanks for stopping by.”
“I’m staying for dinner, your mother invited me,” she taunts.
“There’s a McDonald’s thirty minutes down the highway.”
“What the hell, Lance?” Trevor says, glowering at me.
“I’m not fighting her,” I’m unable to keep the bitter edge from my voice. “And she’s got a real problem with making decisions. Not sure Mom’s pot roast is enough. She might need variety.”
Harper holds out her fist. “Just one glove, please, Trevor.”
“Coming right up, my lady.”
“You aren’t serious,” I scoff. “What the fuck are you going to do with that? It will feel like a mosquito bite.”
“I’ve got speed,” she says, winking at Tony. “Which is what you’re lacking, right? What are you afraid of?”
That if I look at her any longer, my heart will stop beating and fall out of my chest. “You can’t just come here—”
“Oh, I can’t, huh? But you did,” she says, entering the ring with her one glove, the scent of her invading my nostrils. Rip chuckles, eyeing Harper, fully amused. He likes her, I can tell. Tony pulls her in for a hug, and they exchange whispers before she smiles and turns to me. “But you can come to New York, right? You can just barge into my life,” she says, jumping back and forth on her Nikes in an impressive show before ripping off her sweatshirt.
Catcalls come from all sides as she dances around me in nothing but leggings and a sports bra, her perfect tits pressed together in a way I refuse to indulge in.
“Saw Troy at LaGuardia,” she gestures towards her discarded hoodie, “the shirt’s for you. He said you need to worship more than the Cowgirls.”
“Hey, hey,” Trevor said. “Them’s fighting words in this house.”
“Yeah?” Harper says with a smile before looking over to me. “Looks like I’m in the right place.”
“Wrong, thanks for bringing it by, but there was no need to hand-deliver it. Mail would have done just fine. And don’t you have somewhere you need to be?”
“Gloves up, asshat, I’m not fighting one of your cows.”
“I’m not throwing a punch at a woman. You’re being ridiculous.”
“I love her,” I hear Trevor say to Tony.
I do too. And at this point, I’m close to hating her because of the way she keeps making me fall for her, every single time I lay eyes on her before she rips my soul away from me. Tony grins over at him with just as much a fucked-up reply. “I’m getting hard just watching this.”
“I can fucking hear you both.” They both grin and shrug as Harper steps up to me in the center of the ring.
“Come on, champ, dukes up.”
“You can pack it up, Harper. I’m done fighting with you.”
“Punk,” she says, stepping forward and landing a jab on my chin. I roll my eyes.
“This isn’t cute,” I growl.
“I agree. Your behavior right now is deplorable. Not to mention what you did back in New York.”
“What I did?”
“You come to New York after two—” she lands another blow and another, and I don’t flinch. It’s like being hit with a pillow, “—years and expect me to just jump into your arms like a willing pound puppy.”
Gloves down, I stand there taking her in, her solid body toned to perfection, her skin porcelain, twin braids hanging loosely from her beanie, dancing over her shoulders with her movement. All I want is to grab her and fuck her up, with my lips, my tongue, my cock, the way she’s fucking with me. I’m in the mood to punish her, and it’s apparent she feels the same.
She lands a solid right to the mouth, and the force of it without my guard takes me by surprise. Copper melts on my tongue as she attempts to unleash my beast. She’s happily playing with fire, like I’m a joke, like we’re a joke.
“Ahhhh,” she says, crossing her gloves like she’s in a karate fight. This time my lips turn up briefly as the guys chuckle in the corner. My smile only angers me further.
“You underestimate me,” she says, landing another to my chest and stomach. I stand there completely limp as she dances around me, taking potshots.
“As I was saying, you come to New York after two years, ask me to spend Christmas with you, start a fight in a department store that turns into a street brawl, make these grand declarations and tell me you want me to just drop everything and come,” jab, jab, jab, “back here, for what was it?”
“Harper, this is personal,” I grunt, taking another right to the temple.
“Oh, well, you went BIG in New York,” she turns back and winks at the guys, “quite often.” She lifts a glove mimicking a puppet, “Commit to me now. I know I haven’t seen you in over seven hundred days, but if you don’t say exactly the right thing in my time frame, I’m leaving, and I’m taking my big dick with me.”
She winces, tossing a look over her shoulder, “Sorry, Trevor.”
“Don’t be,” he quips, “just so you know, that runs in the family.”
“What the hell?” I protest as my entire corner snickers. “That’s so not how it went down.”
“Sorry,” Harper pipes, “foggy memory. It must still be a blur because of how fast you came and went.”
I step into her next jab. “You should talk.”
“I deserved that, two years ago, when it was relevant to our relationship, now I’m just pissed.” Another punch, this one lands squarely, and I have to give her a little credit, it had some pressure behind it.
“You’re delusional.”
“And you’re still a caveman. You might as well have thrown me over your shoulder and slapped me on the ass,” jab, jab, “oh wait, you did do that the first time we got together.”
“Is this some fucking joke to you?”
“Should it be?” She asks, lifting a brow. “You come to my city, turn my life upside down, demand once again that I commit without once letting me catch my breath.”
“That’s not how it—”
She lands another right on my lips, and it stings.
“You deserved that.”
Eyes blazing, I feel my anger brimming again. “You made your point yet?”
“Nope, gloves up, champ. You said you can’t fight without something to swing for, well, here I am.”
“Well, y
our time is up,” I say, throwing my own invisible punch, I see it land, but instead of giving in to her quivering lips, her eyes light fire.
“Wow, that was fast. And you expect me to believe a word you say?” she throws a right, and I lift my glove to avoid another blow to the face.
“Ah, there you are,” she says, too pleased with herself.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve.”
“Touché, Lance. Get your freaking gloves up.”
“I’m not fighting you.”
“You love fighting me.”
“I did.”
“You do.”
“Dancing, that’s where you need to be. Not here.”
“I am dancing,” she says, doing a perfect impression of a boxer’s footing around the ring.
“And she’s better than you,” Tony laughs.
This time I bite. “Why don’t you guys fuck off and give us some privacy?”
They all reply in unison.
“No fucking way.”
“I’m not missing this.”
“Sorry, man, no can do.”
“Dinner!” Mom calls from the house.
“Oh, good, I’m hungry,” Harper chimes in, throwing another jab.
“You can sit next to me,” Trevor spouts.
I’m too pissed at everyone in my life at the moment to see anything but red. “You sure you’re staying? I mean, I wouldn’t want to blink while we’re saying grace and miss seeing that beautiful ass of yours walking out the door.”
“Lance,” Trevor protests as Harper holds up a glove tossing a look over her shoulder.
“I’ve got this, little brother.” She turns to me. “And just how long do you plan on punishing me for that?”
“Not long after you see yourself out.”
“Well, good thing we all agree, don’t we, boys, that your grudges are getting old?”
All three of them speak up.
“This isn’t fucking funny,” I grit out.
“You’ve got issues.” She taps me again with her glove.
“I’ve got issues?” I press a glove to my chest. “You’re the coward. Sure you aren’t going to tuck your tail between your legs again? I think we both know I’m the fighter here.”
She shrugs. “Not much of one at the moment.”
“You’re making a fool of yourself,” I seethe with venom. “You need to go back from which you came and forget about this place, me. You’re out of your depth and league, sweetheart.”
She stops her movement as Trevor curses in disgust. “Fucking asshole.”
Harper walks up to me, tilting her head up, her eyes earnest, all amusement gone. “Maybe I am, then again, I know just how to handle you, Lance Prescott. Don’t forget that.”
“Think so, huh?”
“I know so.”
In a blink, my trunks and underwear are at my ankles. Bare-assed and cock dangling, I stare down at her, mouth parted, as the guys howl with laughter. But she’s not laughing, not at all. She’s pissed.
“You want a worthy opponent, Prescott, you’ve fucking got one! See you at dinner, asshole. And you can watch my beautiful ass walk out of the barn all you want, but I’ll be the one saying grace tonight.”
And with that, she stomps out of the barn.
Buck ass naked, aside from my trainers and the trunks around my ankles, I watch helplessly as the guys follow her out.
“If you don’t marry her,” Trevor calls back over his shoulder, “I sure as shit will.”
Harper
Dinner isn’t going much better than cocktail hour. Lance sits at his father’s side at the head of the table. Next to him, Jack shakes uncontrollably, fixating on his forkful of roast to get enough of it in his mouth. It’s the most uncomfortable silence I’ve ever endured, even with Jeannie chatting me up. After a few painful attempts, Jack leaps from his seat.
“Excuse me.”
“Sit down, Jack,” Jeannie orders softly. “I’m willing to bet Harper would very much like to spend time with you.”
“I’m, I’m m-making her uncomfortable.”
“Not at all,” I say.
Jack eyes me through the violent jerk of his head. “Since when did…you become a bullshitter?”
“I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. I’m fine, I swear.” I prepared myself for this by watching a couple of hours of clinical videos as I waited for my flight here. Though no matter how hard I prepped, a part of me dies inside with every tremor that costs him an ounce of pride. He was frail when I met him, but now he’s sickly-looking, pale and appears older. The more distinguished version of him is mirrored in his son, who sits brooding at the table and hardly spares me a glance. I’m fighting every emotion imaginable. The hurt from his response to me being here, the hardest to battle. I didn’t expect open arms, but I didn’t expect a hostile reception either. It’s at the table where I realize the truth of what’s going on.
Troy told me things were hard at home, and I knew as much with Lance’s refusal to talk about it in New York, but I wasn’t really hearing it. And the only thing I’ve really heard in the last six weeks is the irregular sound of my heart.
But I’m beginning to realize my reception wasn’t entirely about us.
Lance wasn’t lashing out at me as much as he is the life he’s been living. His bitterness doesn’t just stem from the hurt I caused, it’s his situation. And instead of coming in with understanding, what did I do? I humiliated him. All I want to do is run. Grab my bag and walk out the door so I don’t have to face the tragedy of this family, but I don’t, and I won’t because the man I love can’t.
And with his playing indifferent, I can feel him slipping away with every second that ticks by. It becomes painfully clear to me that in order to prove I’m ready to commit, I need to do the one thing I’ve failed to do with Lance when things got hard—stay.
Jack slowly takes his seat, as Trevor turns to me with sympathetic conversation. “So, how’s the dancing going?”
“G-good. The show I was in did great. We got asked to perform in Calgary.”
“Really. How did that go?”
I dump more green beans on my full plate. “I don’t know. They should be on right about now. I’ll have to call and ask them.”
I can feel Lance’s eyes shift to me the minute the words pass my lips.
“You missed it to come here?” Trevor asks before glancing at Lance and then back to me.
I nod at my plate, too afraid to meet the grey eyes that haunt my every waking minute.
“It was no big sacrifice,” I say. “But I saw pictures of the venue, and it looked amazing.”
“Who danced for you?” Jeannie asks.
“No one, they just cut my number.”
The loud clank of a fork sounds to my right before Jack explodes out of his seat. Jeannie immediately stands and looks at me. “This is not your fault.” She follows him out of the dining room. “Jack,” she whispers, “she’s fine.”
“She doesn’t need to see. It upsets her,” is all I hear before a bedroom door slams.
“I’m sorry,” I say to everyone at the table. “I didn’t mean to upset him.”
Trevor chimes in. “No, I’m sorry. My brother’s an asshole, and Dad’s just having a day. It’s okay, I promise.”
I nod, tears threatening.
“Are you just going to sit there?” Tony says to Lance, though I don’t look up, I can feel his gaze still on me. Forcing myself to take a bite, I look up to meet the livid eyes of my ex-boyfriend. He’s so damned beautiful, dressed in nothing but black sweats and a hoodie, his eyes blazing, and jaw set in a hard line.
“Dance first. You promised me. We agreed.”
I swallow. “No, you decided for me,” I say, popping some of my dinner roll into my mouth, “like every other boneheaded man, you think you know what’s best for me. Besides, it was a bonus show. It doesn’t count.”
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“That’s not what you asked of me.”<
br />
“I told you I was done asking.”
I sip my water. “Maybe I have my own questions this round.”
“I’m not doing this.” He moves to stand, and Trevor shocks us both, his voice acidic as he scolds his older brother.
“You can’t help him. You can’t fight this, Lance. It’s a horrible disease, but don’t take it out on her, on any of us. You’re fucking up, bro, and you won’t stop it even when we’re telling you how you’re doing it. Do yourself a favor and take a breath.”
“Do yourself a favor and save yours,” Lance retorts dryly before stalking out of the dining room and slamming the back door.
Despite my need to go to him, I finish my dinner. Tony eats two plates while making conversation until Trevor excuses himself, his posture deflated.
“They grew up too early,” Tony says, wiping his mouth when Trevor is out of earshot. He’s an attractive guy, older. I’ve been fond of him since I recruited him for Lance years ago. He’s an ex-athlete with heart and a good sense of family. It’s how I knew he would be the perfect fit for Lance.
Tony throws his napkin on his plate and sighs. “I know what they feel right now. I went through similar shit.”
I swallow. “Should I be here?”
“Do you want to be here?”
“More than anything.”
“Then you should be here.”
“Jack’s gotten so much worse.”
“Actually, he’s been holding steady for a few months. Problem is they couldn’t afford his medicine this month. It’s eight hundred dollars with private insurance. That’s a majority of what this is about.”
I nod. I figured that was the case.
“I love him. But I don’t know what to do.”
“He knows it. But if you’re itching for resolution, it’s not going to come easy.”
“I know.”
“Just be there for him. This breakdown of his has been a long time coming.”
“I can’t believe it’s gotten this bad.”
“It’s been hard, Harper.”
I turn to Tony. “Why do you stay?”
“Because they took me in. My own family has never been so kind. And because I believe in Lance. I know what he’s capable of. I’m just not sure he knows it anymore.”