by Elena Aitken
“Kyle! Stop it.” Bella shifted sideways, up and off the couch. “We’re not a couple anymore.”
He wasn’t deterred. “You know that doesn’t matter. It was only ever you who was into labels. All I’m saying is a little release always did help you after a rehearsal.” He leered at her. “It’ll get you ready for the performance tonight. It’s a big one. Pretty important, am I right?”
“It is.” She couldn’t disagree with that fact, but it had nothing to do with sleeping with him. And if he thought for a moment that it did, he was more delusional than she thought.
He stood and walked over to her. It was only then that Bella realized the other band members were already gone. He backed her up against the wall and ran his hand down her arm. “Which is why you need to—”
“Go home and change.” She was not about to let him talk her into doing anything that she didn’t want to do, or worse—put her into a situation she couldn’t get out of. “I was thinking the red, sparkly dress with—”
“That’s a good one.” He nodded. “But first—”
“No.” Bella pressed both palms against his chest and pushed so that Kyle took two stumbling steps backward. “I’m not interested, Kyle. Back off.”
“Back off?” He crossed his arms over his chest, his demeanor changing instantly with the rejection. “You’ve never told me that before.”
Bella moved across the room to gather her purse. With every second that passed, she was starting to regret her decision to come back to the city more and more. It had been hard enough to justify leaving the way she did, but now… “You know what? I’m starting to remember why I left the band in the first place.”
Kyle laughed. It was a cold, mean sound. When she turned around again, he was shaking his head, an ugly smile on his face. “How could you forget? You had a tantrum, got mad and threw my shit out the window.”
“That’s because you were—”
“Screwing Dominique,” he finished for her. “I thought maybe I could bring out in her what I brought out in you. But, you always were the best, Bella baby.”
She cringed at the nickname he’d given her.
“We were dating, Kyle. You cheated on me. And,” she added before turning away, “you didn’t bring anything out in me. My voice is my own, and you—”
“Were just a little choir girl who sang along to the radio in her car, when I met you.”
She could feel him getting closer, but she didn’t turn around.
“You were nothing in this town before you hooked up with me and everyone knows it. You were a timid little church mouse who had no idea how much talent you had inside you just waiting to be brought out. Don’t you remember those early days and the way you’d play off how good you were? Now look at you. You’re welcome.”
She shook her head.
“Yes, Bella. You know it’s true. Just like you know that this deal is the best offer you’ve ever had and it’s all because of me. All of your success has been because of me. You’d sink on your own, and we all know it.”
She shook her head again and pulled her purse over her shoulder before turning around to face him. He was only inches from her face. When she’d met Kyle years ago, she couldn’t get over how handsome he was. His thick, blond hair and his bright-blue eyes. He had surfer looks, but there was a hardness about him, too. An edge that had drawn her to him. And maybe it was true back then that she’d thought she needed him. When she’d started out on the music scene, she was playing at some of the worst bars in town, filling her time by entering contests—like a desperate kid. That’s what he’d said to her. At the time, she thought it was true. And maybe even a little funny. After all, Kyle was older and more successful. So much more successful. She’d fallen for him and his promises to make her a success.
Looking at him now in a whole new light, it was clearer than ever that she no longer had any feelings for him, and the feelings that she did have before weren’t based on anything real and were nowhere near how she felt about Jeremy after such a short time. That was very different.
As far as her success…did she believe that? Maybe some of it. He had given her opportunities. Hell, he was still giving them to her.
She took a deep breath and swallowed hard. “I need to go.”
He didn’t try to stop her as she stepped around him and walked to the door. With her hand on the doorknob, she hesitated and turned around when he called her name.
“Bella? You look like shit. Put some makeup on before you show up tonight, okay?”
Jeremy couldn’t help but smile with Santa sitting shotgun in his truck.
When he’d picked Roy up, he’d expected him to have the suit in a bag to change at the station, but no. He was fully dressed. And more than that, he was in full Santa character from the moment he climbed into the truck next to him.
“You look great, Roy, I didn’t even—” The other man shot him a look, so Jeremy quickly amended, “I meant, you look great, Santa.”
“Better.” Roy chuckled and Jeremy couldn’t help but join him.
“Well, you look pretty awesome. And I think you’re going to make some kids pretty happy tonight.”
“That’s why I do what I do, Jeremy. Christmas is about love and happiness.”
Jeremy tried not to flinch at his choice of words. He was definitely not feeling either of those things.
“I know what you’re thinking.”
Jeremy took a second glance at the old man next to him. “You can’t possibly.” He shook his head and put the truck in gear.
“Ahh, but you’re wrong. I do know.” He smiled under his white beard and nodded knowingly. “This time of year, it has a way of being magical, but you have to believe.”
“Believe in magic?” Jeremy scoffed. “I don’t think—”
“Love,” Santa interrupted. “You must believe in love.”
With his foot on the brake, Jeremy turned to look at him.
“Take it from an old man who lost the love of his life many years ago. It wasn’t always easy, son. But no matter what life threw at us, we pulled through, stronger than ever because of one thing.”
“Love?”
The old man nodded. “And here’s the thing. Love doesn’t always show up the way you want it to. But if you believe, really believe, it will be okay. And maybe believing a little bit in the magic of Christmas wouldn’t hurt either.” He winked and Jeremy could have sworn there was a twinkle in his eye.
He made it sound simple. Too simple.
Jeremy stared at the other man for a moment before turning his attention back to the road. He released the brake pedal and navigated through the streets to the station. He made each turn out of habit as his mind tried to make sense of what Roy had just said.
Believe.
He did believe in love. Didn’t he?
He thought he did. For a moment, he thought he actually had love. Or at least the start of it with Bella. But…
Maybe he didn’t believe.
Or at least not enough.
A few minutes later, he put the truck in park outside the fire station and killed the engine.
Before he could open the door, Santa Roy stopped him. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“What?” Jeremy shook his head. “You’ll see what you can do about what?”
“Your Christmas wish.” He winked again at Jeremy and opened the door.
Before Jeremy could stop him or ask him how he even knew what his wish was, the man had slipped out the door and was gone, leaving Jeremy to stare after him.
Chapter 11
She was late.
She looked at the glowing lights on her dashboard for what felt like the hundredth time and back outside to the snow-covered pavement ahead of her. It had started snowing at some point during the afternoon while she was in her apartment changing, and it was only coming down heavier with every passing moment.
Bella normally loved a snowy Christmas Eve. But normally, she wasn’t late.
It di
dn’t matter how fast she drove—and it couldn’t be too fast, given the conditions—she was never going to make it on time.
She tugged at the red sparkly dress, trying in vain to get more comfortable with the skintight fabric wrapped snug around her body. She knew she looked good. Damn good. The dress was the perfect choice for a Christmas Eve gig where all eyes would be on her.
But as a driving outfit…not so much.
She hadn’t thought about that when she made the turn off the freeway that would take her toward the mountains, and away from downtown and the gig that would change her life.
She hadn’t thought about much as she’d taken that exit.
Only that it was the right thing to do.
It was the only thing to do.
Kyle had been right about one thing: when she’d first started out in her career, she really didn’t believe in herself. She had no idea what she was capable of. How talented she was and how far she could go. But he’d been wrong about everything else. She didn’t need him to be successful. She never had. That had been her mistake.
She’d forgotten who she was, what she was capable of, and, most critically, what was really important.
That’s why she’d taken the exit. Because everything that mattered was two hours away, in the mountains in Glacier Falls. And she was going to be late for the big Christmas Eve dinner at the firehall. But at least she’d get there.
As long as the snowstorm didn’t get any worse.
Bella clenched the steering wheel and focused on the road ahead of her. The headlights of the car made the driving snow coming at the windshield look like a scene from a Star Wars movie. It was almost impossible to see, but she’d driven in poor conditions before. And there was no turning back now, anyway. Driving through a snowstorm was the least of her troubles. If she didn’t get there in time, she’d miss everything. Maybe even her chance to tell Jeremy how she felt.
Assuming she hadn’t already missed that chance.
Judging from the piles of dishes, empty platters of food, and the happy laughter all around him, dinner had been a huge success, and Jeremy was exhausted.
He’d smiled and laughed along with his friends and neighbors as he’d served the platters of food. And for a few minutes, when he sat down to eat himself, he’d even managed to forget about Bella and her notable absence.
If his friends had noticed, they mercifully hadn’t said anything. Or more likely, Stephanie had briefed them on the situation. For once, he didn’t care whether everyone in town knew his business. Not if it kept them from bringing it up out of pity for him. The last thing he felt like was talking about the woman he’d been so sure had been more than a holiday fling.
Fortunately, the conversation centered around what everyone else was up to. Hope and Levi’s plans for the baby who was due in a few months, the winter weddings that were to be held for the first time at Ever After Ranch, how Brody Morris and his new wife Sarah were going to handle the increase in business from catering the wedding and running Birchwood restaurant. Sarah’s daughter, Rory, chimed in that her Christmas wish was a little baby brother or sister, and everyone laughed—except Brody and Sarah, who stared at each other with wide eyes. Stephanie told the group about some scripts she was entertaining and then shocked everyone when she casually mentioned that she’d bought the old fishing camp on the edge of town. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do with it yet, but it was going to be perfect.
Jeremy could only shake his head and laugh because he had no doubt that it would be. Stephanie had a way about her of making things work out perfectly.
He excused himself as Damon started to talk about some new investments he was considering.
He loved his friends, but pretending was getting harder by the moment. What he really needed was a shot of whisky and a reality check. Bella had only been back in his life for a few weeks, hardly anything he should let ruin the holidays. Better to know where he stood early on before he invested too much time, only to have his heart broken later.
At least, that was the advice he’d give a friend. Too bad he didn’t believe it.
“You did a great job tonight, Jeremy.” Katie appeared next to him in the kitchen with a stack of dishes.
“Thanks.” He turned away, busying himself putting cling wrap over the leftover platters. “That means a lot.”
“Are you okay?”
He stopped. Katie was probably the last person he wanted to talk to about how he was feeling. Sure, she probably knew him the best out of anyone, given their on-again/off-again relationship since high school, but that was also why it felt strange. Besides, he’d just started to do a good job fooling himself that it was all for the best that Bella had left. Or at the very least, he was trying to fool himself and that had to count for something.
“I’m sorry she left,” Katie said before Jeremy could answer. “But that doesn’t mean—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He shut her down before it could go any further.
But Katie was not one to be deterred easily. “Yeah, I got that. But maybe you should.”
He turned to look at her then. There was nothing but care and concern on her face. “Katie, really, I—”
“Look.” She held up a hand to stop him. “I’m not going to force you. All I’m going to say is that sometimes things aren’t as black and white as you’d like them to be. There’s a whole lot of gray in life, Jeremy. And take it from someone who knows—sometimes it’s hard to see through all of that gray to what’s really in front of you. It’s not always that straightforward, that’s all I’m saying.”
He let her words sink in and, to his surprise, didn’t reject them out of hand. He nodded slowly but didn’t offer anything more.
“Don’t hide in here all night, okay?” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading for the door. He watched as she turned around again. “It’s Christmas. And you never know what the magic of Christmas can bring.”
She was gone before she could see him groan and shake his head.
It was later than she thought by the time Bella pulled into Glacier Falls. Dinner would certainly be over by now. She almost steered the car toward her grandfather’s house and the warm familiarity she’d most certainly find there. But she wouldn’t find what she needed there.
It only took a few more minutes to get to the firehall. She had to park down the street and pick her way through the icy and snowy sidewalk toward the festivities. She could hear the music and laughter as soon as she stepped outside the car. It was a sound that made her both excited and terrified at the same time.
She knew that Papa would be happy to see her, at least until he learned that she’d blown off the gig that could have potentially been the catalyst to a huge career. He’d be disappointed to hear that. After all, she was supposed to be his shining star. The one that followed her dreams and made everything come true.
Bella swallowed down the lump of uncertainty.
She’d made the right decision. She knew that. She felt it.
After she’d left Kyle’s apartment, she’d gone home, showered, carefully done her hair and makeup, and slipped into the sexy dress. She looked amazing and, judging by their earlier rehearsals, she sounded amazing. It was all lining up to be a perfect night. The night that would launch their careers and secure them the record deal with Starshine Records. It was everything she’d always wanted.
But it wasn’t.
She couldn’t shake the feeling that it was wrong. All of it. It felt wrong. It wasn’t everything she’d ever wanted. The feeling had only grown stronger as she started to drive until she took the exit that led to the mountains and Glacier Falls. The minute she’d pointed her car in the right direction, the weight had started to lift.
Papa would be disappointed, that was certain. But Bella knew as soon as she explained her reasons to him, he’d understand. Besides, this was far from the end of her career. No matter what Kyle’s angry voicemails and text messages said. He was wrong about h
er. Always had been. And there was no way she would ever feel good about moving ahead with her career if it was any way linked with him. Those days were over.
Bella stood in front of the door to the firehall and took another deep breath. She had no idea what waited for her inside. Whether Jeremy would even speak to her, let alone forgive her for leaving the way she had. She wasn’t sure she could. But she hoped with her entire heart that he would.
And even if he didn’t, she needed to try. Bella was done hiding from what she really wanted. Papa had spoken to her about following her dreams and going after the thing she really wanted.
She wanted Jeremy. She had no idea what that looked like or even what it meant, but she wanted him with a ferocity inside that she couldn’t deny. It seemed impossible in such a short time, but she was falling for him. Heck, she’d already fallen for him.
With one last deep breath, she tossed her hair over her shoulder and pulled the door open.
Katie was right. Jeremy hated to admit it, but she’d been right. At least about one thing. After she’d left him alone in the kitchen, he’d wrapped up two more platters of leftovers before he’d had enough and left the rest of the mess in the kitchen for the others to handle. It was Christmas, after all, and even if it wasn’t going exactly the way he’d hoped it would, all of his friends were there and he was going to enjoy himself…even if it killed him.
He poured himself a drink and joined the rest of the group, who were passing out song books and singing along to the band who’d started up in the back of the hall.
Maybe it was because he’d most recently done it with Bella tucked up next to him on the sleigh ride a few days ago, but something about singing Christmas carols made him smile.
And that’s just what he was doing when “Away in a Manger” finished.
“See?” Katie elbowed him. “There’s that smile. That’s all I wanted to see.”