by Katie Dowe
“What?” He looked at her in shock.
“I want you out of my apartment. You know where I live and I don’t know where you go when you leave here. I tell you everything about me and my family, but you never reveal anything about yourself. I am sick of this David, and I deserve more.” She was fighting hard not to cry.
“You said you were willing to wait,” he protested, his heart hammering inside his chest.
“How long David? A few months? Or even a year? How long?” she asked him.
He stared at her mute. “I don’t know, can’t we just continue as we are?” he pleaded.
“No,” she told him in a quiet defeated tone. “I want more and until you are prepared to give me more, I don’t want to see you again.”
He stood there staring at her, not moving, not believing what she was saying to him. “You don’t mean that,” he whispered.
“David, go please.” She folded her arms across her breasts. If he touched her even slightly, she was a goner.
He stood there as if uncertain what to do and Janice felt herself praying that he would tell her he cannot live without her, praying that he would say that he loved her and wanted to be with her all the time, but instead he just left and closed the door quietly behind him.
Janice went over to the window and watched him go into his vehicle. He sat there for a little bit staring out in front of him and even at that time she was hoping that he would come back inside and demand that she be with him but he drove away. She slid down to the ground and folded her head into her drawn up knees and then the tears came and would not stop!
*****
Richard had the porch redone, and he had hired a gardener to do the landscaping of the place. He was even planting some orange and pear trees because he had been told that the soil was good for them. He had ordered the flowers from his daughter’s store and work was currently in progress. Janet had moved back in and she was still thinking about letting him back into her good graces, even though it had been three weeks. September had arrived with rain and biting cold, and she stood in front of the big bay window and watched as the men did the work in the garden.
It was Sunday afternoon and Janice had come over for dinner.
“When are you going to let him know you forgive him, Mom?” she asked quietly. They had finished eating and she was clearing away the dishes off the table.
“I think I am going to let him stew for a little bit more,” she said with a laugh. She moved away from the window and came to sit around the table. She had been looking at her daughter and she noticed how wan and thin she looked. It was not her usual laughing demeanor and she looked as if she had been crying.
“Sit darling,” she suggested. “Now, tell me what is going on with you.”
“Apart from the fact that summer is in the past and it is already getting cold?” she asked lightly.
“This is your mother, honey, so why don’t you tell me the truth.” Janet poured some coffee and handed her a cup and then one for herself.
“I broke up with David two weeks ago,” she said staring at the steam rising from the liquid.
“Why?” her mother asked her gently.
“He is not willing to commit and I am not standing for it anymore,” she smiled sadly. “I think the joke is on me, he has not called me in two weeks, so I guess I never really meant anything to him at all.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” Janet asked her softly.
“I don’t know what to think, Mom. All I know is that I miss him so much that I cannot stand the pain inside me. I never knew I could fall so hard for someone and the fact that I did and I am here without him makes me wonder if it was all worth it.”
“You gave him an ultimatum, honey, and from what you have told me about him, it seems to me he is scared and as much as he probably wants to acknowledge what he feels for you, he is afraid to do so because of what happened in the past.”
“I love him, Mom, and I respect what he went through but I guess I underestimated how scared he is,” she said sadly. “I cannot call him and let him think that everything is okay and I am willing to accept anything. He has to want me as much as I want him.
*****
But he did! David hid behind mountains of work as he had done in the past to try and get away from his true feelings. He had piled on the work, pushing his staff more and more and going to look at the shipments himself when he had people to do that. He rarely went home and his mother had started to worry about him. Even on Sundays, he was at the office and he slept there sometimes. She cornered him one morning when he was rushing out at seven-thirty to go to the office.
She had gotten up very early and stood outside the doors of his suite waiting for him to come out.
“Mother, what are you doing out here?” he asked in surprise. He did not look well. His cheeks had sunken into a hole and he looked as if he had not bothered to shave.
“I wanted to have a word with you,” she told him, trying to hide her concern.
“Can’t this wait until later? I have something to take care of at the office,” he said impatiently.
“It cannot wait,” she said firmly, leading the way into his sitting room. “You look like hell,” she told him bluntly. “And I know it is not because of Eileen’s death because you never looked that way so I want to know what is happening with the girl you were going out with.”
“We have stopped seeing each other,” he said abruptly, remaining standing, with his briefcase in his hands. “It did not work out.”
“Is that it David?” she asked him quietly. “Are you going to let her go like that without a fight?”
“She told me to go,” he told her rigidly, his hands clenched. “I am respecting her wishes.”
“Oh David,” his mother cried softly. “What happened to you? You are clearly suffering because of not being with her and yet you are so caught up in whatever it is you are caught up in that you will not allow yourself to be happy. When are you going to stop punishing yourself?”
“I will see you later, Mother, I have to go,” he told her stiffly and left.
Julia sat where she was, staring at the closed doors, her expression one of complete and utter sadness.
*****
He would not allow himself to think or feel. He was disciplined and in control and he used work to forget her but it worked up to a point. He drove himself throughout the day so that he would be very tired during the night and he would just go to sleep but it had not worked out that way. He was barely getting any sleep and he was always thinking about her. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night and thought she was in the room because he smelled her perfume, but she was not there. He missed her so much that it was a constant ache inside his heart and he did not know how to make it stop. He thought that the guilt associated with not loving Eileen was the worst he had felt, but he had never accounted for this, it was something that he could not contend with.
She had told him she wanted total commitment or nothing at all, and he had been trying to come to terms with it. She had told him she would wait until he was ready and she had gone back on her word, leaving him aching and missing her so much that he could not function. Why hadn’t she left him alone? To his horror he felt the tears slipping down his cheeks and he hurried inside the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him and resting his head against the door he wept in despair!
*****
“Maybe you should reconsider,” Leah told her. It had already been three weeks since she had heard from David, and her raw pain had turned into a dull pain in her breasts. It was Monday night and they had met up at Leah’s place to just hang out. Leah had not seen Lance for two weeks now and found herself grateful that he had probably accepted that they were over.
“Reconsider what?” Janice asked her.
“You are miserable without him and you look as thin as a rake.” Leah sipped the homemade pina colada as she stared at her friend. Her face had been thrown into sharp relief, bu
t instead of detracting from her looks, it only added to them.
“He has not called me either,” Janice said with a shrug.
“So you are punishing each other,” Candace commented.
“I am not punishing him, I am just taking a stand.” Janice sipped the alcohol laced fruit punch and wished it was a sedative to knock her out for days. She was not handling the break up well, and she was running out of options on how to deal with it.
“Your stand is obviously backfiring on you,” Leah told her gently. “You should at least try and talk to him.”
“I have to stick by what I said or else what I did would have been for nothing. I want marriage or nothing, no matter how much I love him.”
*****
Lance waited outside until he was sure they had settled in. He had stayed away from her deliberately over the past two weeks to let her think he had gotten over her and moved on. He had watched her from afar and had not seen her with anyone and he had been so relieved. Maybe she was not over him.
He was not able to function and he knew he could not live without her at all. He did not want to.
With a sudden decision, he exited the car, looking carefully at both sides of the road to see if there was anyone looking at him. The streets were deserted maybe due to the rain earlier, and he made his way into the apartment building. He nodded to a man coming out of apartment 1B and made his way up to hers. He still had his keys and he hoped she had forgotten to change the locks. He put the key inside and sagged with relief as it fit, and turning it carefully, he let himself inside. He heard them immediately as they laughed about something, probably about me, he thought bitterly, feeling the gun in his jacket pocket.
It was Janice who first noticed him standing just inside the doorway. She felt a quake of fear and then she straightened up. “We have a visitor,” she told her friends quietly. Both of them looked up at once and saw him there.
Leah jumped up immediately. “What are you doing here Lance?” she asked him, her heart thudding in fear.
“I need to talk to you,” he said barely giving her friends a glance. He looked haggard and his eyes looked wild.
“You are not supposed to be here,” Leah told him firmly, determined to show not one ounce of fear.
“I need to talk to you alone,” he insisted, coming further into the room.
“We are not leaving,” It was Candace who answered him.
“Stay out of this bitch!” he snarled.
“I am calling the police,” Leah said, reaching for the phone.
“I don’t think so,” he said calmly, taking out the gun and pointing it at them. “We are going to talk, Leah.”
“What are you doing?” Leah’s voice sounded strangled.
“I have tried to reason with you and you will not listen. I have told you we belong together and you have slighted me and ignored me. I bet you are listening now.”
“I am listening,” she said faintly.
Janice reached out and gripped Candace’s hand wishing frantically that she had not left her pocketbook so far away with her phone inside.
He pulled up a chair and waved them to sit back down. “One funny move and I am not afraid to use it,” he threatened. He started talking about how much fun they had had in the past and how he wanted that back, but she had taken it away from him and he could not function without her. “What did I ever do that was so wrong?” he asked her, his voice anguished. “You gave me your love and your body and cruelly took it away, what am I supposed to do?”
“I am sorry about that Lance,” Leah told him quietly. “Maybe I could have handled it better, but I just knew that I was not prepared to live like that again. You had gotten too possessive and you never trusted me. Love cannot survive without trust.”
“I want another chance.” He waved the gun at them, causing them to jump back. “I am not leaving here without you.”
“Okay, I will come with you, just let my friends go,” she told him.
“No way,” Candace said stoutly. “We are not letting you go with him.”
“Shut up bitch!” he screamed, jumping up from the chair and using the side of the gun to smash it on Candace’s face. She slumped to the ground unconscious, blood streaming from the side of her head.
Suddenly there was pandemonium! Leah screamed and as he turned towards her, Janice jumped on him without thinking, sinking her teeth into the soft flesh of his neck. With a furious scream, he flashed her away from him and fired off a shot in her direction. Leah used a vase on the table and smashed it hard on his head, and he slumped to the ground, out like a light!
*****
Janice felt herself going in and out of consciousness. She was aware of people talking around her and a blinding pain in her left arm.
Leah gripped her hand only letting go as they wheeled her into the emergency room. She had called her parents and they were on their way over. Candace had suffered a concussion and was awake now although the doctor had told her that the bullet had passed through Janice’s arm, she had lost a lot of blood.
She could not believe this was happening. She had thought that both of her friends were dead and her training as a nurse had deserted her in that crucial moment. The police and ambulance had come immediately and Lance was also being treated then he would be processed and taken into custody. It was all her fault, and if there was any lasting damage to her friends, she would never forgive herself. She had thought it had all been over and never gave Lance a second thought.
Janice’s parents rushed inside just then and saw the girl with tears on her cheeks. “Where is our daughter?” Janet asked her urgently.
“She is in surgery,” Leah told her miserably. “I am so sorry, Mrs. Langley.”
“For what?” Janet asked her impatiently. “Did you shoot her?”
“What did the doctor say?” Richard Langley asked before the girl could respond.
“The bullet went straight through, but she has lost a lot of blood.”
“What happened?” he asked her grimly.
Leah told him about Lance and the restraining order she had taken out on him. “I thought he had moved on,” she said sadly.
“They rarely do,” Janet said quietly, looking at her ex-husband.
It was another hour before the doctor came forward. “How is she, Doctor?” Richard asked urgently.
“You are her father?” the elderly man asked him.
“Yes.”
“She is going to be okay, the bullet went straight through and we have given her some blood for what she has lost. She is resting now but you can go in and take a peek at her.” He turned to Leah. “Candace is asking for you.”
*****
“How do you feel?” Leah gripped her friend’s hands, her heart turning over as she saw the big white bandage on her forehead.
“Like I have been gun butted,” she said weakly. “How did you and Janice get away?”
Leah bent her head and burst into tears.
“Hey,” Candace said alarmed. “I am still here honey, and don’t you go blaming yourself for what that creep did, it’s all on him.”
“He shot Janice,” Leah blurted out.
“Oh my Lord!” Candace exclaimed weakly. “Is she…” She could not continue.
“She just came out of surgery and the doctor said she is going to be okay,” Leah assured her.
“Oh thank goodness!” Candace slumped back weakly against the pillows. “How did you get out in one piece?”
“I smashed the vase on his head.”
“Good for you, honey,” Candace said approvingly.
“How did this happen Candace?” she asked her friend, her eyes filling up with tears again. “How did I not see it?”
“How could you?” Candace asked her gently, squeezing the hand holding hers. “He was crazy dressed up as normal, and I guess the crazy came out when you left him.”
“Did I make him do this?”
“He made him do it,” Candace told the girl firmly. “You
are not responsible for his actions.”
*****
“What if we had lost her?” Janet asked softly looking at how still her daughter was. There was a bandage on her upper arm and she looked so peaceful.
“We have not lost her and we have to be thankful for that,” Richard said holding her hand inside his. “I want to go and find that son of a bitch and kill him with my bare hands.”
“Then we would be losing you.” Janet slipped her hand out of his and put it around his waist. “I could not bear that.”
He looked down at her and his expression softened. “I am moving back in and I want no argument from you. We have wasted too much time already and we are not going to waste anymore.”
“Okay, Sir,” she told him softly, reaching up to kiss him on the lips gently. “I would not have it any other way.”
Chapter 11
She woke up in the early hours of the next morning. It was a little dark in the room and she waited until her eyes had become accustomed to the darkness. She moved her left arm and cried out a little bit at the pain and then the memories came flooding back!
“Don’t move your arm,” a deep voice said softly and it was then she realized that David was in the room.
“David?” she whispered confused. “What are you doing here?”
He came and sat gingerly at the side of the bed. He looked as if he had not slept the night, his eyes were red and his hair was tousled and untidy. “Your mother found my number in your phone and called me.” His hands were trembling and he looked at her in abject misery. “I could have lost you and I was such a fool.”
“You were,” she teased him trying to lighten the mood. She used her right hand and took one of his. “I am here, David.”
“Ask me again.” His hand tightened on hers. “Ask me again what I want.”
“What do you want, David?” she asked him softly.