by Kim Hornsby
It had been a very long time since he’d grouped her and her mother together like this, and called them his girls. “I’m here, Daddy.”
“Did you fly all night?” he asked, his eyes becoming brighter.
She pressed his hand to her face and smiled. “Yes. And are my arms tired.” An old joke, but it made him smile.
Her mother moved to Tina’s side. “They will come to prep you soon, Darling.”
Hearing the emotion in her mother’s voice, and calling her dad “Darling,” made Tina glance to the woman standing beside her. Obviously her father didn’t find it strange because he nodded. “Thank you, Liz.” Only he was allowed to call her by the shortened name.
“How do you feel, Daddy?”
“I’m fine, Kitten. Just ready to be turned into the Six Million Dollar Man.”
When the orderlies arrived to prepare him for surgery, the two women walked out to the hall, waiting and worrying. When the gurney was wheeled from the room, Tina moved in to speak to her father. She was worried that it might be the last words she’d ever say to him, and wanted to make them count. Bending to kiss his cheek, she whispered, “I’m going to forgive Mother. We’ll talk today, and when you wake up, Mother and I will have hugged and moved on.” She would’ve promised him anything, at this point.
He smiled and squeezed her hand. “That’s my girl. She needs that.” His look said it all.
Tina backed away and her mother moved in to accompany the gurney. The tears in Elizabeth’s eyes shocked her. And her father’s words shocked her even more so. “Lizzie. You are the love of my life. Tell Tina everything now.”
***
When Tina came back from the Starbucks cafe in the lobby, with two cups of steaming coffee, Elizabeth was walking back to Phillip’s room from the surgery floor. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. She needed to take her mother in her arms. To reassure her that her father was in good hands.
Tina set the coffee on the bedside table and wrapped her arms around the woman who’d always been so hesitant to show emotion. Feeling the release was shocking, and when her mother started sobbing, Tina couldn’t hold back her own tears. They cried together, in each other’s arms. She hadn’t cried like that since grieving for Hank.
But these tears were for her sweet father, still in surgery. A man who tried all his life to do the right thing. To fight for justice in his work, to support a less than easy wife, and to get past the death of a child who was only a few years old. He didn’t deserve to die on the table today. Not that it worked that way. Good people died, too, but lately she’d wondered if Hank and Noble had died because they led a life of cheating people and were destined to leave the world early because they hadn’t played the game fairly. They’d been too late to ask fate for a pardon.
Finally, Elizabeth drew back, and apologized for “being this way.”
“We’re worried about Dad. You can cry in front of me. I’m an adult now.”
Elizabeth sniffed and took a step back. “I’ve always tried to soldier on for you Kristina. Not show you this side. Keep strong, in spite of Kristoffer’s death. I never wanted you to know how it affected me.” She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.
Had her mother been acting stoic all Tina’s life for her benefit? Did she think it would help her daughter in the long run? Because it ultimately led to all this—a fractured relationship that was almost irreparable.
Tina handed her mother a clump of tissues from the box and took some for herself. They sat quietly in the chairs beside the now-empty hospital bed until Tina was ready to speak. “I know you’ve always tried to be strong for me, but now is a good time to let go. I would much rather see who you are than only see the woman who lets no emotion show.” She’d almost said the words “cold,” and “hard.”
“I have so many regrets in my life, Kristina. Where you are concerned. So many. And I’m sorry.” The last words were uttered with such emotion that a sob caught in Tina’s throat. “I now think Kristoffer’s death was probably quite damaging for you--to lose a twin brother, but I wasn’t strong enough to help you back then. I hoped you were too young to be terribly effected.” Her mother’s hands shook. “You know how they tell you on airplanes to fix your oxygen mask first, then your child’s?”
Tina nodded.
“I couldn’t get mine fastened and never got to yours.”
“I know.” Tina took her mother’s warm hand in her own and stroked the back of it with her thumb. “I got through it.”
“Philip said it was probably easier on you than me, and I wanted to believe it. I didn’t want anyone else, least of all my child, to go through the hell and guilt I faced. Once I realized that you needed me more than ever, I’m afraid I became too strict with you. I had only two sides to me in those days. If I wasn’t an incompetent mother and nervous wreck, I was pretending to be strong and enforcing rules to ensure your safety. I was terrified of losing you as well.” She looked into Tina’s eyes with such sadness, such vulnerability, that Tina shuddered. The tears fell to her lap.
“We have lots of talking to do about all of this. I hope you’ll let me in, let me know what you feel, why you felt like your only option was to blackmail my husband.” There, she’d said it. She’d promised herself in the taxi that she wouldn’t bring it up today, but it hovered between them like a wasp at a picnic. Wasn’t now the perfect time to talk about why her mother tried to ruin her marriage? They had hours of waiting. She’d promised her father they’d get past it today.
Elizabeth sat forward, holding her daughter’s hand so tightly Tina thought she might have to tell her to let go. “When I thought of what I wanted for my only child’s future, for you Kristina, never did I imagine you’d move across the ocean from us and marry a criminal.” Her voice faltered, and she sobbed into the tissue. “It broke my heart that you left us to live across the ocean. I always imagined you would live in Seattle. And then it broke my heart that you chose such a man. It meant that you were looking for something in your life that you didn’t have. Something like danger, or, at the very least, acceptance from this type of person. Choosing Hank as your life partner just verified what I already knew about myself. That I’d failed as your mother.”
Tina scooted over to her. “No, Hank was a genuinely sweet man. He loved me, Mother. That’s something you didn’t know. When I met him, I had no idea he was dangerous. We had a real marriage, Mother. Don’t feel badly that I chose someone who wasn’t good to me, because he was. He loved me. We had fun together, laughed, talked, we wanted babies. He told Noble that when we met, he vowed to turn his life around.”
Elizabeth’s expression was a mixture of pity and supreme sadness. She placed a finger over her lips as if she was trying to keep from offering more words.
“They were after Grandmother’s paintings in the beginning, but not toward the end. Hank loved me. I was happy.” Tina needed her mother to know this. “You didn’t know him, but Hank was a good husband.”
“He didn’t tell you about his past.”
“He wanted to move on.”
“How do you know that, Tina?”
She couldn’t tell her mother the truth. “He told Jamey.” She blurted it out, and then worried how she’d back up that statement with facts.
“And you believe that?” Elizabeth wasn’t convinced.
By now, the two women were blowing their noses into the Kleenex, the tears done. “I do. The circumstances were such that Hank wouldn’t have been lying. Hank also told Noble.”
Her mother froze, her expression unreadable. “So, you knew that Hank had a criminal past?”
“I knew he’d led a life he wasn’t proud of. It wasn’t until recently that Jamey told me that Hank was committed to our marriage. Noble told Jamey that, too.” She wouldn’t reveal that Noble and Jamey never met. Not in Noble’s real life.
“Noble was his partner in crime, Kristina.”
“That’s true.” She nodded.
Elizabeth winced and looked at the floor. �
��When I found out he was after your money, I wondered if you’d chosen him because of some deep desire to sabotage your own happiness. I had to make amends for being a terrible mother. I had to protect you from that man.”
Tina’s eyes narrowed, and she pulled back from her mother. “How did you know he was after my money, Mother? How could you have possibly known?”
Elizabeth Greene didn’t miss a beat. “I got a letter from someone on Maui telling me that he was a wanted criminal and was out to take your money.”
Chapter 8
Pops was frying Canadian bacon at the stove when Jamey came back from his run. “Hey Old Man,” Jamey said fondly.
“You almost ready for breakfast, Jimmie-Boy?”
“Getting there. Do I have time to shower, or can I help you scramble some eggs?” He looked over his dad’s shoulder to see the bacon sizzling in the cast iron frying pan.
“Go shower. I don’t want to sit with a stinky, sweaty kid at my table. We’ll start the eggs when you come down.”
Jamey took the stairs two at a time and went straight for the upstairs bathroom. It was an old house, built by a homesteader in the early 1900’s, with some modifications, like the upstairs bathroom, and a downstairs toilet room. Old, but funky. All he’d ever known.
Jamey turned on the water, then stripped off his running shorts and T-shirt. None of those fancy running clothes for him. Testing the water’s temperature, he wondered how Tina’s father was doing. Hearing her voice this morning as his wake up call, and knowing that she was in the same state, had brightened his mood considerably.
He soaped his body and washed the foamy film from his back, then his front. He’d been wakened this morning by the ringing of his cell phone and never found out what Milton had to say in his dream. It wasn’t like he couldn’t guess. His Sixth Force boss had driven down the road to Pops’ house, got out of the car, no smile on his face, all business. He knew what that meant. They wanted him back. Even though Tina was the real dream jumper, the military would never have that information if he had anything to do with it. They couldn’t have her. Ever.
He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Tina didn’t want to jump. Hours ago, on the phone, she said there hadn’t been any new strange dreams lately, and that was good. She’d sounded so hopeful, like sleeping alongside him had been the problem. It was too bad that Tina was living in fear of jumping. He remembered that feeling from when he was a teenager, but then he’d adjusted, grown with the ability, learned to use it to his advantage.
Thing was, Tina could jump from miles away. In the last weeks, they’d agreed to monitor their dreams, keep track of everything, and learn to live with what they had. He wasn’t going anywhere. They had time to figure this out. She’d looked so relieved when he said that, he’d hugged her tightly.
Having gone through so much shit together, he and Tina were probably ready to commit. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about a ring, but he sensed that she wanted to give the new relationship a few months. Be cautious. And Jamey couldn’t blame her, considering all she’d been through. As he wound a towel around his hips, a clear premonition hit him like a slap across the face with a wet hand. Sergeant Milton would take him back to Afghanistan with the plan to make him stay.
***
Elizabeth jumped out of her chair when the doctor approached them in the surgery’s waiting room. As he took the surgical mask from his face, the smile that appeared seemed like a good sign. “The surgery was successful, Elizabeth.” The older doctor stood before them, nodding. “Philip came through it well. He’s in recovery.”
Elizabeth let out the breath she’d been holding. “Oh, thank God.”
Tina’s newly emotional mother looked like she might launch herself into the arms of the surgeon from relief, but instead grabbed her daughter’s hand.
“Someone will come to get you in a few minutes,” the doctor said.
When the young nurse arrived, she regretfully said that only Elizabeth was allowed to go into the recovery room. Tina waited on the leatherette chair in the hall, giving thanks that her father made it out of surgery alive. Although the risk hadn’t been high, it still hung over the day like a bad omen. People died all the time in surgery, even when the risk was low. Pepper’s sister went in for knee surgery one day and never made it off the table.
Tina and her mother hadn’t spoken again about the anonymous letter. When asked about the identity of the writer, Tina had said she had no idea. And she didn’t. Noble would never risk being ratted out to the police. Never. She couldn’t think who else wanted Hank ousted. Who would benefit from revealing Hank’s past? Or, who wanted him gone, but didn’t understand the situation? She had to see the letter. Tonight when she got back to the house, she’d look for it. The whole idea of someone taking a pen to paper with the idea of ruining her marriage made her feel sick.
By the time Philip Greene was back in his room, awake and sipping broth, Tina was tired enough to imagine dropping to the floor. With the crisis past, fatigue had reared its head. Her eyelids felt coated in lead, her whole body, not much better. She’d slept a few hours on the plane, but it hadn’t been enough to take her through to the end of this day. She’d fall asleep in the chair soon if she didn’t keep moving.
While she was watching her father sip a little broth, Tina picked up her ringing phone. Jamey had wanted to drive in to see her but he was at the twins’ soccer practice and then he was taking them to Red Robin for dinner. It wouldn’t work tonight, and that was probably best for everyone.
“Tomorrow,” Tina said. “Can I see you then?” Although she physically ached to feel his arms around her, she was heading to her parents’ Mercer Island house to sleep soon, and for him the priority was the girls.
“Definitely. Even if it’s only for ten minutes. And remember, Tina,” he said provocatively, “I’ve never seen you in jeans. Tight jeans.”
She laughed. “I’ll try to find some that are tight.” After the last year of worrying and grieving, she’d lost weight and everything was loose on her small frame. “Or I’ll stop and get a Big Mac, milkshake and fries on the way home.” Jamey was a good influence on her, reminding her to eat three meals a day. “Most boyfriends want to see their girlfriends in a bikini, not jeans.”
“Mmmm. I like the sound of that.”
“Bikini?”
“Boyfriend.”
After all they’d been through, he still wasn’t sure he was her boyfriend? In the past, Tina had used the term boyfriend with men she liked a lot less than Jamey. And Jamey was beloved to her. Recently, they’d talked about how the feelings between them had never gone away over the years. “It lay dormant for me,” Jamey said.
She’d thought about that for a few seconds. “Probably me too, without knowing it.”
Jamey admitted he was in love with her, had always loved her since those first days. But even if she’d been ready to say she loved him, too, they were old enough to know that didn’t guarantee a successful relationship. What bonded them the strongest right now was the dream jumping. They were wildly compatible but wasn’t everyone at the beginning? And the sex. Of course the sex. But Tina wanted to make sure that if the dream jumping ability left them both, they’d still be strong.
Elizabeth had overheard bits of Tina’s call with Jamey. “I’ll stay here at the hospital tonight, Kristina. You go home and get a good night’s sleep.” She was insistent. The hospital suite had a family bed near the window, and a little fridge for snacks and drinks. It was hard to imagine her mother sleeping on a cot, but she looked determined to stay by her husband’s side.
After making sure her father was resting comfortably, Tina kissed him good night and walked down the long hall with her mother.
Elizabeth handed over the house key and looped her arm with Tina’s. “The front door sticks now,” she said. “Turn off the alarm, the code is the same, there’s food and drinks. I had fresh sheets put on your bed.” Tina’s bedroom was always exactly as s
he left it the day she went away to college. Aside from having it cleaned, Elizabeth left everything in place for those times when her daughter came home. Was this her mother’s way of showing love? “And we now have a cat, so don’t be alarmed if he jumps into bed with you.”
Tina couldn’t have been more shocked if her mother said there was a rabid orangutan living at the Greene family home. “What?”
“Your father has always wanted a cat.” Elizabeth looked like it was as simple as that, even though she had firmly forbidden pets during all Tina’s years at home.
They stopped walking. Tina contemplated what to say and decided that she’d say nothing. Let it go, like Jamey said. She took a deep breath and continued on. The elevator ride was silent while she considered asking about the letter. If she didn’t do it now, she didn’t want to be phoning her father’s hospital room later when the curiosity kept her from sleeping. “Mother, did you keep the anonymous letter?”
Elizabeth nodded. “I did.”
“I’d like to read it.”
Her mother nodded again. “It’s in my desk, top right drawer. But promise me one thing, Kristina.”
Elizabeth’s stare was frigid, and Tina imagined her mother didn’t want her going through her desk, snooping.
“If you recognize anything in that letter, just remember that whoever sent it had their reasons. Possibly concern for you, not necessarily the motive to destroy your marriage.”
Tina wasn’t so sure.
Chapter 9
The house was fully lit when Tina drove her mother’s Mercedes into the driveway. The Greene’s stately brick home was on two acres of property on Mercer Island with a stunning view of Puget Sound from the back of the house. Old growth maples and Douglas firs surrounded the property, making it look more like an estate than a home in a neighborhood. Neighbors couldn’t be seen from the front door even in the winter when the forested areas around the house were bare of leaves.