by Kim Hornsby
“Well, you have each other to play with,” Tina added in Carrie’s defense. “And you can braid your sister’s hair. As you get older, you’ll need your mother less and less.”
Jamey grinned from the back deck where he was grilling burgers and watching Tina get ten little stubby braids all over her head. “Fancy hairdo, Tina,” he called when Pops opened the door.
“Don’t laugh,” she said. “You’re next.”
Both girls had brightly colored nails and sparkles, and during dinner, Tina foolishly admired them. “You two have nice nails,” she said as Pops’ special barbeque sauce ran out of her burger, through her fingers and dripped to the plate below.
“I’ll do yours!” Jasmine said.
“We will,” Jade said, flashing her sister a disapproving look. Once they finished all their dinner, and took the dishes to the sink, the two girls retrieved a box of manicure supplies from their room upstairs.
Jamey looked like he was in heaven, stretched out in a kitchen chair, a toothpick in his mouth, watching his daughters fawn over his girlfriend.
“I never get this kind of treatment,” Tina gushed. “This is like a day at the Spa,” she said, wondering how soon she could take out the braids, but still seem appreciative of their attention.
Pops had insisted on doing the dishes alone. He didn’t believe in the convenience of a dishwasher apparently, but Jamey protested. “I’ll do the dishes. Just leave ‘em.”
“Heard that hundreds of times,” Pops teased. “No hurry.” There was a definite twinkle in Pops’ eye. “If Gavin stayed, he’d have them all dried by now.”
Jamey laughed. “Here we go again.” He turned to Tina. “Pops’ favorite son is Gavin.”
Pops nodded. “He’s always done everything I told him to do, including living right here in Carnation, not going off to war in Afghanistan.”
At the mention of Afghanistan, both girls looked at their father, their smiles gone. “Dad?” Jade said, her face full of worry.
“Let’s not talk about how I used to save lives and spend my days as an American hero, okay?” He shot his father a look, not seen by the girls who continued painting Tina’s nails alternating shades of red and pink.
After putting the kids to bed, Jamey joined Tina in front of the fire in the living room. Settling in, he left no space between them and draped an arm across the back of the couch. Pops had said his goodnights earlier and gone upstairs, mumbling something about wishing he had a cigarette. According to Jamey, his father had gone five days without one, and was already spending less time on that damned machine.
It had been a beautiful, warm day, but now rain had set in. Raindrops pattered insistently against the front windows, and the safety and coziness of Pops’ home was not lost on Tina. Logs that Jamey split that day burned brightly in the fireplace, popping and sparking behind the grate. Tina was happy and burrowing into Jamey’s warmth left her feeling peaceful. If Obi were lying beside her, she’d have been totally fulfilled.
“Tell me about Carrie, and the children, and how the twins interact with the two younger ones. Do they all get along well?” she asked. Tina wanted particulars of how this extended family worked.
“They do,” he said. “When I met Carrie, she was behind schedule on her life plan, and I wasn’t ready for marriage, or kids. We were together a year when we broke up. Then she was pregnant, so we married, and along came the twins. We tried to make it work, but we were just parenting together, not really a married couple. I drove her nuts.” He kissed Tina’s hand. “She wanted me to quit the police force, said she wouldn’t have any more children until I got another job. I didn’t want any more children with her. We made the decision to split and Carrie started seeing a guy named Kevin.” Jamey got up and put another chunk of wood on top of the fire and jimmied it to the center of the flame. “I didn’t like Kevin. Bad vibe. Not just because he was involved with my ex-wife. Then Carrie got pregnant, and Kevin disappeared faster than you could say ‘you’re gonna be a daddy.’”
Tina’s eyes widened. “Oh my goodness.”
“I offered to parent the new baby along with the girls. It seemed like the natural thing to do. Carrie said I might have to, then she met Chris when she was six months along. They married the week before Wyatt was born. You’ll meet them all tomorrow at the soccer game.”
Tina detected sadness in Jamey’s voice. Had he imagined himself as Wyatt’s dad before Chris showed up?
“Wyatt is such a cute little dude. And now Kevin is back in town and trying to see Wyatt so Carrie is a mental mess, worrying about what to do.”
“I bet,” Tina said. Life was complicated in Carrie’s household. Still, Tina looked forward to meeting Jamey’s ex-wife.
Jamey stretched his long legs out to reach the low coffee table. “Thanks for being so sweet with the girls. And Pops.”
The fire crackled ten feet away. “I love this. I love you.” She sat forward and studied his face, knowing this was the first time she’d said the words. She leaned in and kissed him. His tongue found hers and they deepened their kiss. Knowing their limits in this public part of the house, it wasn’t easy to pull away, but she did eventually, staring at the face of the man she loved.
“That’s the first time you’ve actually said that to me.” Jamey had a satisfied look, like a lion who’d just eaten an antelope. “That you love me.”
She thought about it. “I was waiting for the right moment.” She settled under his arm. “I love you. I love us. You are amazing.”
Silence hung between them until Jamey spoke. “I’ve waited a long time for you, Tina. It was worth it.” He kissed the top of her head. They stared at the fire, Tina thinking about how Jamey had let her go, knowing she’d marry another man. When he took a deep breath, things changed. His arm tensed beside her. “There’s something you need to know that . . .”
Just then, one of the twins screamed, and Jamey jumped off the couch. He was half way up the stairs before Tina realized the girl was probably just dreaming. Jamey probably felt it too. The child called again, this time more frantically. Tina’s initial reaction was to help, but it wasn’t her place.
Chapter 12
Jamey didn’t mean to jump into Jade’s dream but when he ran in the room and heard her call “Daddy,” he put his hand gently on her shoulder, and felt the pull in. It wasn’t usually like this. He hadn’t matched her breathing. But then Jamey hadn’t initiated a dream jump for months. Tina had been his conduit into dreams lately, and she was downstairs on the couch in front of the fire waiting for him to finish his sentence.
When Jamey landed in the dream, Jade and another version of him were running from a pack of skeletons moving incredibly fast. Now there were two dads in the dream. Jamey caught up to his other self and melded with the guy. “Jade, honey,” he said. “It’s me, Daddy. Let’s stop and scare these suckers.” He pulled her in behind him. Facing the skeletons, he put up one hand and shouted dramatically. “With the power of Jade, we command you to turn around.” His voice boomed. This type of dream was fun. He’d often come to his kids’ rescue in scary dreams. “Jade, tell them the same thing. Be the master of your own bad dream.”
The little girl inched from behind him to see the confused skeletons. Some were retreating and some didn’t know what to do. She held up her hand, palm out. “Go! Leave us alone.”
With that, the skeletons wandered off. After watching the last one fade in the distance, Jamey high-fived his daughter. “Well done, Rockstar. Now let’s do something fun in this dream, like zip line or surf.” Suddenly they were in a soccer game on a giant turf field.
“Let’s play soccer with the Sounders and win!” Jades eyes were as big as silver dollars.
“I want to play goalie,” Jamey added and suddenly they were on QWest Field in Seattle, Jamey in goal, Jade at the far end, running amongst a professional soccer team. Sometimes dream jumping wasn’t so bad. He’d had a lot of fun with his kids this way over the last five years. He stood guard in t
he goal and watched Jade score several points for the Seattle Sounders. What was Tina doing downstairs? Even though he’d been in the dream for what seemed like ten minutes, it was probably less than a real minute since he’d jumped.
When Jamey settled back on the couch with Tina downstairs, he asked how long he’d been gone.
“Just a few minutes. Why?” She looked at him funny. “You jumped.”
“I’m not sure if that’s good news.”
She looked scared.
In some respects, he was relieved his ability was back. Without dream jumping, he’d felt diminished. Less than who he was. And, he’d always jumped his daughters’ dreams. It was part of him being their parent.
“Did she wake, or did you jump out?”
“She woke up.”
Tina looked worried. “Jumping on your own again. This doesn’t mean you have to go back to war, does it?”
“Not if they don’t find out.”
“How can you keep it a secret, Jamey?”
“I’ll figure out something, don’t worry. It was only one jump.”
The conversation took a serious turn about his guilt for not returning to the war, and Jamey never got his opportunity to tell her about the letter.
Climbing the stairs to bed, he promised himself he would tell her after the girls’ soccer game tomorrow, before she drove back to Mercer Island. If she was upset, she’d at least be on her way back to her family home where she could think with some distance between them.
When they got into bed, they kissed and sensing Jamey wanted more, she whispered. “with kids in the next room, and your father down the hall, I’m not sure we should do this.”
He tried to hide his grin. “If that’s what you want, but remember, not every time has to be like the last time at your parents’ house.”
“I guess we can be quiet and do it under the covers,” she said.
“Just no yelling about what a great lover I am.”
Tina giggled and slid on top of him seductively.
The dream was surreal. One of those where the atmosphere was swirling colors and animals were flying by. Tina swam through the air. Or was it flying? She was propelling herself quickly with a breaststroke, passing houses, bridges, the tops of trees, and finally the ocean’s rocky coast. Landing on a dock that jutted out into a bay, the flying animals disappeared. She walked to the end of the dock and waited. Jamey said he’d meet her in this dream. When she imagined a sunny day, the sky turned a rich blue, and she had to shade her eyes from the sun.
A kayak came towards her from across the bay, advancing faster than a kayak would ever travel. Jamey called out when he was fifty feet away. "Welcome to my dream.” He looked pleased. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Of course I’m here. Didn’t we plan this?” Next thing, he was sitting beside her on the dock, no sign of the kayak.
“Did we? To be honest, Tina, you wore me out, and I don’t remember a plan.”
She laughed. “You should be tired. Quite a performance in your childhood bed, Jamey.” She nudged him, and he smirked.
“You do something to me, Darlin’. What can I say?”
“I think it’s my dream. I made it sunny.” She looked at the sky.
“I thought I made it sunny.”
She tried to make a fish jump in the water in front of them, but nothing happened. “You might be right.”
“Maybe we can share a dream and both be in charge. Since we started jumping together the rules have changed.” He took her hand and kissed it. “Let’s go flying. That’s something I love to do with the kids.” He stood and rose above the dock, into the air, his arms outstretched in front. “Follow me.”
Tina copied Jamey and took off after him. “I flew earlier to the dock,” she said.
They swooped low over the trees and hovered over a blowhole at the bay’s mouth then headed back to the dock. The feeling of flying was magical, freeing, like scuba diving only better. She could get hooked on this feeling. When Jamey landed, she followed. “Why have we never done this before? I want to do this every night.”
Jamey nodded, his blue eyes glistening. “You can. It’s cool, right?”
Then, from nowhere, a paper floated in and fell beside Jamey’s feet. The black print made her think it was the letter sent to warn her parents against Hank. She’d forgotten to tell Jamey about reading the anonymous letter.
He leaned over, grabbed the paper, and crumpled it in his hand. “Time to fly again,” he said, like he’d simply cleaned up the dock. “Come on.”
“Why did you just do that?” She grabbed his sleeve before he took off.
“Do what?”
“Crush that paper.” She smelled fear.
If he hadn’t waited a beat, if he’d just said flat out, “I thought it was garbage,” she might have believed him. But the pause, the look on his face, the fear in his eyes, it all added up. And then she knew. Tina knew that Jamey had written the letter to her parents warning of her husband’s intentions. Tina backed up. “No,” she whispered. “Why? Why would you do that?”
“Tina, wait. I was trying to protect you.” Jamey held his arms out from his sides, like he had nothing to lose, like he was wide open.
“You knew Hank was a criminal?”
He nodded.
“You broke your promise to not change the future.”
“I did.”
She took another step back. “And now two men are dead.”
He nodded. “Thinking that their deaths might have had something to do with that letter has haunted me ever since I found out Hank was missing. I can’t tell you how sorry I am if writing the letter led to Hank’s death.”
“Of course it did. You wanted me for yourself, and as good as killed my husband.” He’d orchestrated the end of her marriage, then moved in to collect her when it was over.
Her body shook. She was horribly cold. Snow flurries flew overhead, and the deep blue sky was now black.
“My marriage might have been happy if you’d stayed out of it, Jamey. How could you?”
The wind began to howl.
Jamey stepped closer. “Tina, I met Hank. We went diving for octopus one night. When I found out the girlfriend he talked about was you, I walked away. A year later, I saw him in Lahaina at the grocery store, and got a profound sense of him hurting you. I had a cop friend run a check on him and it wasn’t good.”
What? “You knew Hank? And you’ve kept this a secret all this time? I’ve been blaming my mother for everything, but you, you were the one who told my parents.” She couldn’t comprehend that the selfless, wonderful man she’d put on a pedestal had ruined her marriage for his own gain.
“I thought someone should know.” Jamey looked around at the snowstorm. “Let’s jump out and we can talk.”
She shook her head. “No. We talk here.”
“I broke the promise for your sake, not for my own. I never thought I’d see you again, after I wrote the letter. I wanted your parents to know about Hank. To decide how to handle this.”
“Easy to say now.” The snow accumulated on their shoulders, their heads, eyelashes. “This ruins everything.” Tears burned her eyes. “This changes what I thought of you.”
Backing up, she suddenly disappeared from the dream. She didn’t mean to leave, but then she was sitting on a bench surrounded by a circular flower garden and newly mown grass. Her skin warmed in the sunshine as she cried. Jamey had betrayed her. The man she thought he was never existed.
She knew what she had to do. When she woke from the dream she’d be in Jamey’s bed in Carnation. Staying any longer with the man who’d speed-tracked her husband’s death was incomprehensible. She had to wake up and get out of the house. Go back to Mercer Island. But, how did she get out of the dream?
She might try to return to the snow and jump out at the portal, or wait for Jamey to wake. If it was her dream, she could jolt herself awake anytime. The fact that they were not physically together in a dream anymore was new territ
ory. Had she willed herself into another setting? Tina stood up, kicked the stone bench as hard as she could, and found her eyes flying open to see the ceiling of Jamey’s bedroom. It worked.
Jamey lay beside her, still asleep, oblivious for now. She had to get out of there before he woke and tried to worm his way out of this atrocity. There’d be yelling and she couldn’t guarantee she wouldn’t throw things. Waking the children wasn’t an option. Leaving was.
Tina dressed quickly and remembered where she’d left her backpack downstairs by the hall table with all the family photos. Thinking about the framed picture of Jamey and his siblings fishing on the river, Jamey’s face, so young and proud, made her almost turn around as she descended the stairs. Grabbing the backpack, she silently closed the door and bolted to her car.
Chapter 13
Jamey had to get back to the portal to jump out. Was it his dream or not? He’d tried to leave, will himself awake. He even dove into the icy water, but nothing got him back to the body that was still lying in his bed. This was a fucking disaster.
Why had the paper floated into their dream? She saw the thing in his hand, figured it out, probably from the look of horror on his face. Tina had more than her share of people double crossing her, and probably now thought Jamey was no better than Hank or Noble. When he imagined how this conversation would eventually go down, he thought they’d have a chance to talk it out.
Stuck by himself on a long dock in the middle of a snowstorm seemed like a fitting punishment. Unable to get out of the dream. He probably deserved being marooned. He was stuck on the dock until Tina woke and the dream was over.
What if she already woke up when she left? What if she was upset and he was sleeping through her anguish like the selfish prick he was? At the very least, he did not want her crying alone in the bed, or in another part of the dream, waiting for him to arrive and explain himself.