by Tina Martin
She reaches to touch my face, and it’s only when she wipes away a tear that I realize how deeply she’s affected me. The only times I’ve cried in life was when my foster mother died. When Nicoletta and MJ died.
This time it’s different. I’m not sad. I’m not hopeless. She’s my hope. My happiness. She’s saved my life.
“I’m sorry, Shiloh. I’m sorry. You don’t know how much I miss you. How much I want you.”
“You always want me.”
I smile. “Yes. I always want you, but this time I want you permanently. Want you like I need you. Want you like I don’t want to live without you. Want you like I want to propose to you even though we’re already married. I love you, Shiloh.”
I drop to my knees in the parking lot, pull the glove from her trembling left hand and ask, “Shiloh St. Claire, will you marry me again? For real, this time? No propositions. No pretenses. Just two people who love each other.”
More tears slide down her pretty face. Her hand is shaking as I hold it. As I kiss it. As I beg for a second chance with her.
She touches my face again to familiarize herself with my features. She strokes my beard. Her thumb lines my lips. She smiles and says, “I hate that I love you so much.”
“Should I take that as a yes?”
She snivels. Collects herself. “Yes, Magnus St. Claire. I will marry you. Again.”
I slide a ring on her finger.
“You’ve already given me a ring. Why’d you get a new one?”
“Because the old one didn’t mean anything to me or you. This one is real.” I stand up and tell her, “This one says I love you and I’m devoting my life to you. This one says you’re mine.”
I take her lips – kissing her with all the love inside me. Her mouth, her lips – I miss the taste of these. Couldn’t imagine giving these up.
I look at her and smile. “I’m sorry,” I say again, feeling like I need to.
“I know.”
I place a hand on her stomach and ask, “Are you pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“How far along?”
“Almost two months.”
“You’ve seen a doctor?”
“Yes. She said everything sounded good and their heartbeats were strong.”
“Their?”
She smiles. Nods. “Yes. They’re two of them.”
“We’re having twins?”
“Yes.”
I kiss her again, sealing my happiness to her lips. Just like that, I have a family again. I’m happy and my life has reset into something great. I’ve come out of the darkness and in her eyes, I see the light.
Shiloh is my light. She saved me.
Chapter Forty-Five
Shiloh
I never imagined my heart could be this full after losing so much. If someone told me a year ago I would be married to a handsome, irresistible man like Magnus, I would’ve called them a liar. He’s everything – everything I’m not. He’s my support. My man. My husband. He’s all mine, especially now that I have his heart.
As soon as we arrive home, I go to the bedroom where I’ve been sleeping. It’s just like I left it. I see the jewelry on the dresser, some clothes on a chair and a pair of shoes by the bed. I unbutton my shirt, proud of myself for keeping it clean today. I had no embarrassing spills, didn’t dump water on anyone and made good money in tips. The icing on the cake? I got him back – the man standing in the doorway as I lower my black uniform pants.
I look at him. Smile.
He smiles back.
We’re both broken.
Together, we’re whole.
He has my heart in his body.
I have his, and I’m never letting it go.
He walks over to me with that sexy, freakin’ make-a-baby stroll, takes me by the hand and says, “Come with me.”
“Come with you where?”
“Shh—just trust me.”
“You’re shushing me now?”
“Yes. You and that smart mouth of yours, girl…”
“Magnus—”
We step into his bedroom. I’m still in my bra and panties. He’s fully clothed, holding my hands, staring me in the eyes.
He smiles.
My heart dances.
“When I say you’re home, I mean you’re home. Everything here belongs to you, including me.”
I touch his beard. “You’re all I really want.”
“I know.”
He brings his lips to mine, kisses me gently. A few taps on my lips, around my mouth. Down my chin. Around my neck.
My moans are soft. He smells so good. His hand squeezes my butt.
“Magnus,” I gasp.
“Yes, baby?”
“Oh. I don’t want anything. I just had to say your name.”
“I’ll give you plenty of opportunities to say my name,” he says softly. He takes off his shirt, unzips his pants and drops to his knees and places his hand on my stomach. “My babies are here.”
“Yes, Magnus.”
“I can’t believe you’re giving me two. You’ve given me my life back, Shiloh.”
He stands, carries me to his bed. It feels weird. This is the first time I’ve ever been in his room. I don’t even take a minute to look around. My eyes are on him, hovering over me like a cloud of muscles. He lowers himself on top of me, takes my mouth with slow, leisurely strokes, bathing my tongue with lick after lick. I feel the heat of his tongue dance down my neck, across my collarbone and on to my breasts. He works his magic, loosens the clasp and set them free. They spill out to his glory, all for his satisfaction. He takes one in his mouth, massages the other with his hand, moaning how good it is.
I gasp. I can feel the difference in the tenderness of them now that I’m pregnant. I feel every suck, every pull.
I hum my pleasure.
He groans his desire.
He goes to my stomach with those lips, kiss the part of me that houses his twins – our babies. He leaves kisses there that makes my stomach flutter.
Again, I gasp, but I can’t quite decipher the noise I’m making. He groans again as his tongue swirls, pokes and fiddles me to the outskirts of paradise. My pulse is racing. Heart racing. I grab him by those small curls of his head. He pushes my hand away.
The pressure builds. I’m on fire. He stroked me into this. I’m the matchbox. His tongue, the match.
“Magnus!” I scream, hoping to relieve the insanity I feel. My hips buck off of the bed. My body’s not mine anymore. It’s definitely not when I feel him move his mouth away from me then as my eyes connect with those magnificent green ones I love, he parted my waters and sank into me. Stretching me. Filling me.
He looks at me. Flashes a smile that’s ultra smooth and sexy.
“Mmm,” he hums. “This is what I’ve been missing.”
He moves slowly – drawing out my pleasure. He’s playing on the edge. Flirting with danger. Even so, his strokes are impactful and precise, but slow and steady.
I squeeze him, clamp down on him. I grab the bed sheets. My eyes slam close and then I cry out for him. I could barely hear myself as the force of the climax nearly deafened me. As my body crumbles, he moves faster, then faster until it happens all over again.
He shifts our position until I’m on top and something wild in me takes over. Induced by his eyes, I move on top of him as he spurs me on. Telling me he likes it before he bucks and finds his release, singing more mmm’s – like music to my ears. He tightens his grip on me, brings his lips to mine and whispers, “I love you, Shiloh.”
“I love you, too, Magnus,” I say then squeeze him tight, bury my face in the cradle of his neck and cry.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks, but I say nothing. I continue to cry.
He disconnects us but holds me close to him. To his chest. To his heart.
“Talk to me, baby.”
I snivel and attempt to get myself together when I say, “It’s so much on my mind right now.”
“Like what? Let me
hear it.”
“Umm—” I manage to turn off the faucet of tears and let him know what’s plaguing me. “Magnus, we’ve been through so much.”
“I know, sweetheart.”
“I’m pregnant with two babies and my papa will never get a chance to meet them. That’s all he wanted for me. To have a life. My own family and he will never get to see my children. Him or my mother. I miss them.”
“I know. I miss people I’ve lost, too,” he says, stroking my hair. “But we have each other now and in seven months, we’ll have two beautiful little babies with your cute nose and pretty lips.”
“And your green eyes,” I tell him.
He smiles, kisses me on the forehead.
“I know you miss your father.”
“I do.”
“We’ll be okay.”
“I know.”
“I’ll take good care of you.”
“I don’t doubt that.”
“And you can spill all the water you want on me, baby.” He laughs.
“Hush, Magnus.”
“I’m serious. You can. I won’t mind. I never did.”
He kisses me again and says, “We’re going to be alright.”
“I know.”
He kisses me softly on the forehead and says, “Remember when I told you I was waiting for a phone call from Ramsey St. Claire’s father?”
“Yes. Did he call you?”
“He did. We met up and talked for a while.”
“And? Is he related to you?”
“He’s my uncle.”
I prop myself up on an elbow to get a good view of his face. “Are you serious?”
“I am. My father’s name was Micah. He and Mason are brothers. He told me Micah had at least three sons, including me, by his first wife and three more children by his second wife.”
“Do you believe it?”
“I have no reason not to. Oh and get this—my father had a set of twins by the second wife.”
My eyes brighten. “So twins run in your family? That’s amazing!”
“It is, isn’t it?” he says, rubbing my stomach.
“See, you’re not alone in this world after all.”
“I’ll never be alone as long as I have you, and these babies growing in your stomach.”
“Then you’ll never be alone because I’m not going anywhere.”
EPILOGUE
Magnus
Five Months Later
“Man, I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” I say to Bransen. He was blown away when I asked him to be my best man. Truth be told, he’s always been my best man – a good friend – and it’s time I start treating him like one.
“Nervous? You?” Bransen chuckles and fans off my admission. “The Magnus St. Claire I know doesn’t get nervous. I know that for a fact.”
“I’m not the same man I was, Bransen.”
“I’ve seen you negotiate million-dollar patent deals without breaking a sweat so I know you ain’t nervous. What’s there to be nervous about, anyway? You and Shiloh are already married. This is your public declaration of your love—the way you tell the thousands of other women after you to stay out of your way.”
“Yes. You’re right, but I want it to be perfect for her.”
“Everything is perfect. You hired the best wedding planner, best caterers. There are at least fifty people out there waiting to see you make it official. There are about twenty more who can’t get in including some local media. Everyone wants to get a glimpse of the lady in white who stole the heart of Charlotte’s most sought after, unattainable bachelors.”
Unattainable. Turns out I was very much attainable but only for the right woman. I can’t wait to see her. I haven’t seen her all day. I exhale a long, even breath, adjust my red bowtie and check my tuxedo in the mirror.
“Alright, brother. It’s showtime,” Bransen says. “I have to go take my position with Selah.”
“Okay, man,” I tell him. I’m glad Selah’s doing better so she can be here to support Shiloh. She’ll certainly need her support when the babies come.
I pull in another breath before I leave the room. “Here I come, baby.”
When the music begins, I’m walking down the aisle, my thoughts not on the first time I ever did this but now. I’m present and in the moment, waiting for my bride.
Lucille’s granddaughter is our flower girl. She’s throwing real pink and white rose petals on the floor as she moves down the aisle. I see Bransen link arms with Selah and walk toward me and down the aisle.
In attendance, I see Irving and his wife, a few of my employees, some of Shiloh’s co-workers. Lucille is there with her husband.
The music changes. My bride is about to enter.
My stomach feels nervous.
When I see her, the nervousness goes away. My heart expands to twice its normal size. My lady is beautiful, her hair done in pretty, soft curls pinned up with pearl beads. Instead of a tiara, she’s wearing a flower headband that looks like a halo. Fitting since she’s my angel.
She’s the reason for my joy. For my new outlook on life. Her and my twin babies – a boy and a girl she’s been carrying for the past seven months. She was worried about how the dress would fit over her growing belly but she’s as beautiful as she always was if not more with her sexy self.
She looks at me. Smiles. I smile back, then when she steps up a few stairs to join me in front of the minister, I take her hands into mine.
“Ain’t no need to act innocent up here,” the minister says. “We know what y’all been doing.” He looks at Shiloh’s stomach. The guests erupt in laughter. Shiloh’s laughing, too, turning red in the face.
The minister continues, “What most of you probably don’t know is, my man Magnus here and this lovely lady, Shiloh, are already married. Their marriage came months before this ceremony. So while we’re not doing anything official here, we are celebrating their love for each other and the journey it took to get here in front of you all today. We’ll let them have the floor. Shiloh,” he says, gesturing to her first.
She squeezes my hands, blinks back tears behind dark lashes. Her voice starts out nervous when she says, “Magnus, I never, in all of my life, imagine I’d be with a man like you. Especially considering when we met, you told me I wasn’t good at my job.”
Our guests laugh.
Shiloh turns to them and says, “He did, y’all. That’s a true story.”
They laugh harder.
Shiloh continues, “You had me questioning myself because you were so amazing and I was just so…ordinary. And you were stern with me in the beginning. I wasn’t used to that—well until my father had to put his foot down and tell me to live my own life and stop trying to take care of him. At any rate, I was all set to avoid you like the plague, to free myself of you after my father died…”
Her voice falters. Crumbles. I grip her hands tighter, helping her through this. I hate to see her this way. Hate to see her cry.
“My father died, and you were there for me.” She bats away tears. “That’s when I knew I could count on you. When I knew you were a beautiful person with a good heart no matter how hard you tried to hide it. I honestly don’t know how you found me—how or why you chose me, but I am forever grateful and looking forward to a lifetime of being your wife and the mother of your children.”
I lean forward to kiss her cheek. I can’t resist. Then I clear my throat and swallow the agony her tears have caused me. I have a few things to say to her, too.
“Shiloh, I can tell you why I chose you. In fact, I want everyone here to know why. When I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were something special. Your eyes initially drew me in, then when I first spoke to you, I immediately fell in love with your personality. You would’ve had no way of knowing that. I’ve been told I have one of the best poker faces around. But I liked you. Liked the way I felt when I was around you. Loved the way you tried to handle my mannerisms—not an easy feat, but you tried. But what I like the most about you, my s
weet wife, is the way you treat people. On your worst night, you weren’t rude to any of your patrons even if they were rude to you. And you treated everyone with dignity and respect—even that homeless man you fed every night.”
Her eyes light up with surprise.
“I knew you weren’t aware I knew that, but I watched you take care of him. Didn’t matter how much you made in tips that day. Every night, you gave him food because that’s who you are. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined I’d meet two remarkable women in my lifetime. When I lost my first wife, I had no desire to get married again. No woman was special enough. And then I met you.”
I lean forward and kiss her lips. It’s when I decide to talk to her like it’s only us in the room. “You are the answer to the crisis that was my life before I had the honor of knowing you. You are the woman who made me smile again when I thought I no longer had reasons for joy. You are the woman who made me love again when every ounce of my soul was telling me I didn’t have it in me. It was you.”
I brush tears from her eyes and say, “I love you for everything you are, everything you’re not and anything that falls in between. I love you because you know what love is and how to give it to me. Boy do you know how to give it to me. I love you because you, in your own way, saved me from myself and I owe you my life in return, so on this day, I want you to know that my life is yours, and I will always, always, exist to make you happy.”
I don’t wait for the minister to say anything more or announce us as husband and wife. She’s already mine. And I don’t wait for his instructions to kiss the bride. I’m already kissing her, tasting the goodness of her tongue while my hand rests on her stomach. On our babies.
I wanted a baby. She’s giving me two. I wanted no strings attached. She made me fall in love. I wanted to die. She gave me so many reasons to live. My life was over until she showered me with her love – Shiloh – the girl, my girl – from Bistro Le Bon.