by Desi Lin
I set my backpack on the ground as I plopped into the hard, wooden chair. “Sorry, something happened last period, and I forgot,” I whispered frantically as I shot Dane a glance and grimaced.
His face was pulled tight, and he glared back at me. “You know, I do actually give a shit about my grade on this.”
Pulling out my materials, I murmured, “I really am sorry. What happened, it was—” I tried but failed to suppress the shudder that ripped through me.
The anger visibly drained out of Dane, and he nodded. “I thought maybe you were still pissed about this morning.”
Dane wiggled in his seat as if the memory pained him, and the reminder of what happened sent anger flooding through me.
“Speaking of which,” though I still whispered, the angry tone couldn’t be missed. “What the fuck? You were deliberately baiting him. I might have to work with you on this, but that shit needs to stop. I don’t understand how any of these other girls could stand you long enough to give you the time of day.”
Dane slouched into a lazy sprawl and sent me what he must have thought was a sexy look. “I guess girls just know hot when they see it, and once they have the best, well…”
Dane shrugged but tensed when I burst out laughing. A glare from the librarian, a stuffy, white-haired older lady, had me swallowing my remaining laughter, but I barely held back the grin.
“Wow. You are as stupid as you look.” I tilted my head and watched as he racked his brain for some explanation for my reaction.
We’d had enough time working together that I was pretty sure I knew exactly what happened in the past. Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on the table and met his confused gaze with my serious one.
“You care about your grades, a lot. Most people don’t care like that, in my experience. How many girls barely did any work? How many did you threaten to report before they just seemed to fall into your lap for an easy fuck? After all, if you were distracted by sex, you wouldn’t notice how little they did. Since you were the one doing all the work. And what happened after, with their relationships…” I shrugged. “I’d bet they were either already on the rocks or it was guilt that ate at them. You were just a toy for them to use for an easy A.”
He gaped at me as my words sank in, but I didn’t want to hear anything he might say in response. “Now, let’s get some actual work done, shall we? Because I do care as much as you do.”
Twelve
As I stood on the porch of Michael’s house, I wanted to throw up. Dad’s house, I meant. Using the word, even in my head, still caused me some trouble. After I knocked, the door swung open, and Kelly smiled wide as her gaze took in my torn black stockings, leather shorts, and sheer purple shirt over a black tank.
“Come in, sweetie.” She stepped aside to let me in.
Following her into the living room, I racked my brain for something to say but came up blank. Michael rose from the couch as we entered and crossed the room to envelop me in his arms. I kept the hug short, stepping back after only a couple seconds. As I sank into one of the chairs, I noticed a leather photo album on the coffee table. Kelly followed my stare.
“I didn’t know your mother.” She reached for the album, turning it over in her hands. “I only moved here a couple years ago. Michael found this hiding away on a shelf and was introducing us.” She held it out to me.
Hopefully, she couldn’t see how my hands trembled as I took it from her. Her eyes met mine over the album. I don’t know what I thought I would see there, but I didn’t expect the sympathy or compassion. She laid a hand against my cheek for the merest moment, then sat in the other chair.
The idea of seeing my mom for the first time sent my stomach spinning, and I was grateful she realized how difficult this moment might be for me. Michael sank to the couch, patted the cushion next to him.
“Why don’t you come over here, and I’ll show you Cali.”
Silently, I shifted to the couch and handed over the album once I sat next to him. He opened it, flipping the pages too quickly for me to get a real sense of anyone present in them.
“Your mom was a real spitfire.” He spoke absently as he searched the album pages. “We both lived too far out to be bused daily into Illustratio, so during the week, we lived in the Ignis dorm. Basically, we grew up together. Can’t count the number of times the two of us, and Hugh—a terra—ended up at the nurse during training. Ah! Here it is!”
The page he stopped on held only one picture. The rest of the page was decorated with confetti, stickers, and balloons. “The three amigos take on the world!” was written in gold ink above the picture with a date underneath.
In the picture, two guys stood with their arms around a girl, all three smiling broadly into the camera. They appeared young, not much older than me. The guy on the left was a young Michael. The one on the right possessed short blond hair, spiked up, and twinkling blue eyes. He held himself with a confidence bordering on arrogance.
As handsome as the young men were, the woman between them held me captive. Flame red hair fell in gentle waves around a delicate face. Bright, mischievous green eyes stared me from behind black, cat’s-eyeglasses. Curvy legs ran for miles from under a skirt so short and tight I didn’t think I would even dare to wear it. Curvy body, barely covered, and creamy, pale skin.
Elements! Mom was a bombshell! From the suitcases next to them, it seemed they were going on a trip.
“Myself, obviously. Hugh Sage. And your mom, Cali.” Michael tapped each person in turn. “Thick as thieves the three of us. I think this was the last picture where we were all three together. Newly graduated and off on a trip to Europe courtesy of Cali’s parents.”
“Her parents?” More family I hadn’t known about? If I had grandparents, why wasn’t I sent to live with them? Had they not wanted me?
Michael’s smile dropped. “They were killed in a car accident about a year after this photo was taken.”
“Oh.” That explained a lot.
Heaviness fell, and I struggled to find a way to lighten the atmosphere.
My eyes fell on the third member of their little group. “I bet you and Hugh have some great stories about Mom. Any chance of meeting him?”
It felt like the air grew heavier with my words. “I’m sorry, honey. Hugh died about four years ago.”
That didn’t help the situation. The silence grew more awkward, and the longer it stretched, the more uncomfortable it became to say anything. And I’m sorry didn’t seem like the right words.
“Well, clearly, we’re in need of cookie relief.” Kelly stood from the chair where she’d been a quiet presence and bustled into the kitchen.
Michael softly smiled at her when she returned with a plate of chocolate chip cookies.
“No milk?” he teased.
“You know where it is!” She winked at him before turning to me. “Did you want some milk, Sera?”
Her attention on me was nice but odd. “Yes, please.”
“Michael, why don’t you get us some milk?” He laughed and went to get our milk.
Picking up a cookie, I continued to stare at the picture of my mom as I ate.
From my side, Kelly’s voice was soft and unobtrusive. “You have Michael’s eyes, but you look like your mom, too. The nose, lips, and chin are definitely from her.”
“Do I?” I wondered aloud, reaching for another cookie.
With my focus solely on the picture, I failed to notice the lit candle until I put my fingers in the flame.
“Ah!” Yanking my fingers back, I whimpered.
A gentle touch on my wrist drew my attention back to Kelly. “Let me.”
She drew my hand close and rested her fingers above the sore area.
A moment later, blessed cool rushed over the burning sensation, washing it away.
I guess that answered my question on if she was human. “Aqua?” I asked, just to be sure.
Kelly nodded. “Yes, and a cooler.”
Michael rushed in, a tray with three gla
sses of milk sloshing around dangerously gripped in his hands. “What happened?”
“It’s nothing,” Kelly reassured him as she released my hand. “Seraphina had a little accident with the candle, and I took care of it.”
Michael released a sigh of relief as he set the tray down on the coffee table and sat.
“Hey, Dad,” a voice called out. “I need—”
I looked up when Ash’s words cut off abruptly, only to meet his scowling stare. “What is she doing here?”
Though his words were at a reasonable volume, I couldn’t mistake the wariness lacing his voice. From his reaction, I began to doubt if I would ever have a relationship with the man who is my half-brother, and I wasn’t entirely certain I wanted to be close to such a hothead.
His gaze fell to the album open on the table. A frown pulling his face down as he strode forward.
Michael cut off anything he wanted to say. “Don’t you start, young man. Sit down.”
Ash shot me a wary look as he took a seat.
Michael flipped the album around, tapping the picture again. “You know who that is.” A statement rather than a question.
Ash nodded. “Sure, that’s Hugh, River’s stepdad, and Cali. Right? The girl you two used to hang with.” He looked up, brow furrowed as he met his dad’s gaze. “You two used to tell all kinds of stories about her, but she died a long time ago.”
“About eighteen years, actually.” Michael waited a heartbeat.
What was he doing? What did he think this would accomplish? At first, Ash’s face was uncomprehending, then after a moment it lit with understanding, and his gaze shifted to me, assessing.
“Cali is her mother?” His voice rose in shock. Kelly reached over and patted my shoulder, but we both stayed silent.
For my part, I didn’t want to disrupt them or remind them I was here.
“You’ve heard the stories, heard how she was and what she believed.” The wariness left Ash’s face. “In those moments when the grief was the worst—” Michael took a breath when his voice cracked. “When I was buried so deep, I couldn’t see those who needed me. When I wanted nothing more than to join your mother, Cali was there.” His finger tapped just below Cali in the photo. “She’s the one who pulled me back, who reminded me I needed to live, that I had people who needed me. That you needed me. And, yes, a couple of those moments turned physical, but that’s all they were. I was too buried in grief, and she would never have allowed more. I don’t owe you an explanation, but I hope understanding will open your heart.”
Ash’s gaze shifted to me, the wariness slowly fading but acceptance still elusive.
Not that I blamed him.
“It’s a lot to think about.” Ash’s measured words were careful, but at least he didn’t seem hostile anymore. When he glanced over at me, I felt like a specimen under a microscope.
Finally, he nodded and looked down at the album again. “Has he told you about the time they went to the shore and your mom’s dare? Hugh loved to tell that story.”
I shook my head and watched Michael blush as Ash launched into a retelling.
“They were, seventeen, I think. And they’d gone to the shore for the first weekend of summer break. Of course, they weren’t the only ones who thought that was a good idea, so the place was crowded when Cali dared Dad to wear her bikini top for half an hour. Her bright pink, string bikini top.” He paused for a moment to let that sink in, and my eyes widened at the image in my head. “Of course, Dad objected to the length of time, but agreed to do it for fifteen minutes, which happened to be enough time for the girl dad had a massive crush on to walk by and see him. He tried to rip it off the second he spotted her, but his time wasn’t up, and Cali and Hugh made him keep it on when the girl walked up and asked him about it.”
Grinning at Michael, Dad, he continued, “Apparently, our dad was quite the conversationalist with girls, because all he could do was stammer and stutter, then say, ‘Just thought I’d see what it was like’. The girl found the idea of Dad wearing girls’ clothes weird and took off.”
I cracked up at the images playing through my head, Ash and Kelly laughed, too, even as Michael chuckled at the three of us. “Alright, enough of that.”
Ash shook his head. “Nuh-uh, there are too many more stories.”
He shared a couple other stories Michael and Hugh had told him over the years. The mood in the room was cautious, careful, reserved but the hostility Ash first brought with him no longer existed.
Hearing tales about my mom was bittersweet. I’d never known her, but now I had an inkling of the woman she’d been, and the mother she might have become. Was it possible to miss something you’d never had?
By the time I left an hour later, there was a tiny flame of hope we might someday be able to have a real relationship as siblings.
Michael didn’t live too far from Souta, so I had walked over, wanting the time to bolster myself. Instead, I’d nearly managed to work myself up to the point of bolting. As I left and turned toward Souta’s, I debated calling any of the guys for a ride, but my phone rang before I could.
Looking at the lit-up screen, I saw Dane and sighed. What the fuck did he want?
“What?” I barked out the word as the wind rushed past.
The cold, damp air held little discomfort when I could simply heat my body. Zipping up my leather jacket, I tucked my hands into the pockets and heated myself to stop the cold from biting so badly.
“I had some thoughts about our project.” No flirting, no sexy preamble, just straight to business. He’d been a bit more like that since I’d told him off in the library. “And a couple things I need to run by you, but I can’t do it over the phone. Can you meet me in the park around the corner from Souta’s in like ten minutes? I don’t have long, but this won’t take more than ten or fifteen minutes.”
I didn’t really want to, but I would pass by the park, anyway. “Yeah, but it needs to be quick, and no funny business.” I let steel into my voice so he would know how serious I was.
“Yeah, yeah. I don’t have long, seriously. See you in a few.” He clicked off, and I stuffed my phone back in the pocket of my shorts.
The park was between Dad’s and Souta’s, and when I saw the familiar lake, I turned in, only then realizing I didn’t know exactly where to meet Dane. The problem solved itself a minute later.
“Sera!” I turned to find Dane dashing toward me and braced myself for one of his disgusting comments or come-ons, but it never appeared.
Instead, Dane waved a DVD case at me. Breathing hard, he came to a stop and shoved a hand through his blond hair. “Thanks for meeting me.” His eyes lit with excitement. “My folks were going through some stuff and unearthed this.”
When he waved the DVD again, I grabbed it so I could see it better. A colorful cover with the words Romeo and Juliet.
“I was curious, so I watched it, and I think this is what we need for our performance.”
My brows lifted. “We weren’t in this play.”
“No, I know.” Dane shook his head. “That’s not the point. You need to watch it. What they do with the play, I think we need to do something like that. It’s really different.”
“There are so many versions of this. What makes this one different?” I didn’t want to watch some crappy remake of a story about two teenagers being complete idiots.
“You have to watch it. Trust me.” As if he knew that was never happening, his face twisted in a frown. “Okay, trust my need to get an A on this project and watch it.”
That I could trust.
Sighing, I took the DVD. “Fine.”
With no desire to extend this little scene and not trusting him to behave now that business was done, I turned to leave.
Two steps later, a hand gripped my upper arm lightly, and I looked back.
A red flush crawled up Dane’s neck. “I…” He swallowed hard. “I thought a lot about what you said, in the library. And what you were too nice to say. And how you’ve bee
n calling me out on my behavior from the second we were paired up. I just…” His eyes shifted to the side, focusing on a very interesting blade of grass at our feet. “Thanks, I guess.” He shrugged, the flush crawling over his cheeks.
Before I could respond, a new, familiar voice interrupted us. “Sera?”
A weary Skylar walked down the path. His blue gaze darted between Dane and me, then focused on Dane’s hand on my arm. “Everything okay?” He stepped closer, eyes narrowing. “I wouldn’t mess with her, man. Her boyfriend’s something else.”
Holding back the giggle at the thinly veiled threat, I slipped my arm from Dane’s barely-there grip and shook my head.
Dane muttered, “She’s something else,” barely loud enough for me to hear as he turned and left.
I turned toward Skylar, wondering where on earth he’d come from. “Everything was fine, but thank you.” I held up the DVD. “He was passing this on for me to watch.” Not able to stand the curiosity another minute, I asked, “How come I always run into you here?”
“I live in one of the houses near where we ran into each other the first time.” He grinned as he jerked his head toward the path around the lake.
“You own one of them?” I didn’t think people so young bought houses, did they?
Skylar chuckled. “No. I live with my grandmother. It’s her place. I’m just there to help her out.” His gaze drifted around the park slowly. “I’m here a lot, in the park I mean.” Tucking his hands into the pockets of black skinny jeans, he refocused his gaze on me. “I’ve always been drawn to this place, to nature in general. Something about it—” He trailed off with a shrug.
The mention of our first meeting reminded me of our discussion that day. He looked calmer, but I knew how deceiving that could be. “How are you doing, you know, after your breakup?” Asking felt weird, but so did ignoring it.
The peaceful expression on his face dropped away as he kicked at the grass. “Alright, I guess. I know it takes time, I just,” Tears shimmered in his eyes as his breath hitched, “I just want it to stop hurting already.”