by Katie Meyer
“Does Alex know? And what about the kids?” Surely she wasn’t keeping them here during the storm.
“Alex doesn’t love the idea, but he knows the building is safe, and since he’s staying on the island too he doesn’t have much room to complain. And the kids went inland with my parents. They’re staying at one of those touristy resorts with mini golf and a wave pool and everything. They’ll have a blast.”
Jessica nodded, her attention diverted once again to the pain squeezing her insides.
“Are you okay?”
Jessica nodded, waiting for it to pass. “Just Braxton Hicks.”
Cassie’s brow furrowed. “That seemed pretty intense for a Braxton Hicks contraction.”
“I guess being on my feet for so long is making them worse. The doctor said that could happen, and to drink some water and put my feet up.”
“And have you been drinking water?” Cassie asked pointedly.
“Um, no.” Embarrassed, she shook her head. “I’ve been so busy...”
“I’ll get you some then.” She headed for her office. “Want anything else? A snack or something? I’ve got plenty.”
“I’m good.” Another pain gripped her, stealing her breath. “Actually, maybe I’ll just sit down for a minute, if that’s okay.”
“Of course.” Cassie handed her a cold bottle dripping with condensation. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want me to call someone? Alex, maybe?”
“No.” She eased onto one of the waiting room chairs. “I’ll be fine in a minute. I just pushed myself too hard, that’s all.” She took a sip of water and forced a smile. “See, better already.”
“Good.”
A sudden shriek of wind whistled under the eaves, and then rain was slapping at the shutters, sounding like some monstrous creature trying to get it. Cassie moved to the one unshuttered window and peered out. “Looks like the first of the rain bands are here—sooner than they predicted. The storm must have picked up speed.”
“Which means I need to get out of here.” She hefted herself out of the chair and was immediately smacked back down by another wave of pain. “Crap.” She leaned over, bracing her hands on the wall as the sensation built and then faded.
“Jessica, I don’t think you are in any condition to drive yourself anywhere.”
“Well that’s too bad.” She straightened. “If I wait any longer the bridge will be closed and I’ll be stuck here.”
Before Cassie could offer an argument, the front door swung open, letting in a torrent of hard pelting rain. Ryan, drenched to the bone, stepped in, his eyes going immediately to Jessica. Behind him was Goldie, her blond fur dark and dripping. “There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! And when I found Goldie alone in the car—” He cut himself off, out of breath, worry plain on his face. Swiping water from his face he glared at her. “Don’t you ever answer your phone?”
Oops. “I’m sorry, I turned it off—my mom calling to ask for an update every five minutes. I planned to turn it back on when I got on the road. Speaking of which, I’d better head out.” She shot a warning glance at Cassie, willing her sister-in-law to keep quiet about her contractions. Braxton Hicks were normal, and nothing to worry about.
If she kept saying it, it would be true, right?
Even as she had that thought, another one hit, the pain like a vise clamping down on her entire midsection.
Instantly Ryan was at her side, holding her steady as she breathed through it. “Whoa, what’s wrong?” He looked from Jessica to Cassie and back again, his eyes wide with concern.
Unable to speak, she reluctantly nodded at Cassie, giving her permission to share.
“I’m pretty sure she’s in labor,” Cassie stated. “She’s insisting she’s not, but I’ve had two kids and I know what labor looks like. And it’s looking like it’s going to be a quick one, as fast as the contractions are coming. You need to get her to the hospital right away.”
“I can’t!” His grip on her arm tightened. “That’s why I was calling you. They already closed the bridge. The storm picked up speed and is going to hit much sooner than anyone thought. They’re clocking tropical force winds up and down the coast.”
“But you’re a cop,” Cassie argued. “Surely you can get access if it’s a medical emergency?”
“I can get past the barriers, sure, but a badge isn’t going to stop the car from being blown into the water by a gust of wind. We close that bridge for a reason.” He lowered Jessica back onto a chair and planted himself in front of her, hands on his hips in what she thought of as his alpha male cop pose. “So you can’t be in labor now. You’ll have to wait.”
Chapter Seventeen
Ryan knew as he said it how ridiculous he sounded, but he meant those words with all his heart. She absolutely could not be in labor right now. It just wasn’t an option.
“What about the family clinic?” Cassie asked. “I know they aren’t a hospital, but the doctors there will surely be able to handle things.”
Jessica had been staring at him in disbelief, either at the situation or his stupid order to stop having contractions, but she shook her head in answer to Cassie’s suggestion. “They evacuated hours ago. They aren’t equipped to stay up and running if the power goes out. That’s one of the main reasons for the mandatory evacuation—there won’t be any medical services running until the winds die down.”
“Maybe it’s just false labor,” he suggested. “Might just fizzle out.”
“Maybe,” she agreed hopefully, her words nearly drowned out by the roaring of the wind outside. But then her face tightened, and her breath quickened. “Or maybe not. Man, that hurts.”
“What are we going to do?” He wasn’t sure who he was asking or what answer he expected.
“We’re going to have a baby, that’s what.”
Jessica’s face blanched at Cassie’s words, and Ryan’s knees nearly buckled. “What? You can’t be serious.”
“Look at her—she’s having the baby, right here, right now, hurricane or no hurricane.” Cassie pointed to where Jessica was curled over, her knuckles white where they gripped the seat of her chair. “And we’ve got everything we need. I’ve delivered lots of babies. Granted, they all had four legs, but the process is the same.” Her smile did nothing to calm the fear turning his brain to jelly. But even in his panic he knew a veterinarian was not the same as an obstetrician.
Jessica, putting his thoughts into words, protested. “No way. I’m having a baby, not a litter of puppies.”
“I know this isn’t ideal.” Cassie bent down, putting a hand on Jessica’s shoulder, looking her in the eye. “But I’ve had two children of my own. I know how this goes, and I’m not going to let anything bad happen to my first nephew. You can trust me.”
That they didn’t have any real choice in the matter was left unsaid.
Another contraction gripped Jessica. Ryan had never felt so helpless in his life. He wanted a way to fix things, a physical enemy to fight. He’d wrestle the storm with his bare hands if it would make a difference. He was armed and trained and completely helpless.
They were out of options.
“Ryan, see if you can put a call into 911, before the circuits get overloaded. We may not be able to get anyone out here now, but at least they’ll know what’s going on and will send someone out once the winds die down.” To Jessica, she offered a smile. “I’m going to go get some blankets and supplies, okay? Let’s see if we can’t get you a bit more comfortable. It’s going to be okay, I promise.”
Ryan held on to that assurance as he dialed, needing to believe her. Needing to think something in this drawn-out mess was going to turn out right. He’d messed up with Jessica—he couldn’t mess up with his kid.
A hurried conversation with a busy emergency operating didn’t offer any new hope. She confirmed that all emergency vehicles had been grounded until the winds
receded, and she had no timetable of when that might happen—though she promised to dispatch one in their direction as soon as possible. But until then, that meant they were really and truly on their own.
“They say first labors can take a long time, right?” He wasn’t sure if he was asking Jessica or Cassie, but it was the latter woman who answered. “Absolutely,” she said cheerfully, pushing a small portable cart piled high with supplies. “My first one lasted days. But,” she continued more soberly, “Jessica’s contractions are less than five minutes apart. Hopefully we’ll just hunker down for a bit and then she can deliver at the hospital like you planned. But if things progress quickly, and they might, we’ll be fine.”
How she could say that with a straight face he didn’t know. But either she was an incredible actress or she truly believed what she was saying. He prayed she was right. And prayed for the storm to turn it’s destructive butt around and head back out to sea the way it had come, ASAP. He wanted people, doctors and nurses and a bunch of fancy equipment, to reassure him his wife and baby were okay, because nothing else in his life would ever matter if they weren’t.
But the storm didn’t care what he wanted. Outside, the winds kept screaming, rattling the metal shutters, while the rain pounded down in waves. Inside, there were no doctors in crisp lab coats, no nurses bustling around telling him what to do. Instead of a fancy hospital bed, Jessica reclined in his lap in a pile of blankets and towels. He did, at least, get the reassurance of a bit of fancy equipment when Cassie wheeled out a portable ultrasound machine. A quick peek revealed that the baby was still head down and doing well. Cassie promised to keep checking, and then attached a sensor to Jessica’s finger to record her pulse and oxygen saturation.
All the while, he was focused on Jessica, so small and yet so strong, lying back against his chest. Each contraction seemed longer and stronger than the last, and all he could do was hold her as she panted from exertion, sweat beading on her forehead. How did women tolerate this, generation after generation?
Never again would he be able to think of women as the weaker sex. Not when they were able to do this. Even in the midst of his fear he was in awe of her strength. And if they made it through this he’d spend the rest of his life making sure Jessica knew how proud he was of her.
* * *
Jessica had no idea how long she’d been laboring. Time had ceased to be measured in minutes and hours—all she was aware of was contractions. Each time one came she counted down in her head until the pain finally eased and she collapsed back into Ryan’s arms again.
“She’s in transition now,” Cassie said, a tight expectancy in her voice. “She’ll want to push soon.”
“No,” Jessica grunted. Pushing meant having the baby, and she wasn’t ready to do that. She might never be ready. She still needed to try to make things right with Ryan. She needed to finish putting together the crib. She needed to get to the hospital! “No pushing.”
Cassie chuckled. “When it’s time, you won’t be able to help it. But don’t worry, things are going great.” To prove it she placed the ultrasound probe back on Jessica’s belly and the swooshing sound of their son’s heartbeat filled the room, drowning out the storm and the fear and the pain.
“You can do this,” Ryan assured her, his voice thick with emotion. “You are so strong. You can do anything.”
Some of his confidence seeped into her, restoring her flagging spirits. She’d known labor could be painful, but she hadn’t known how overwhelmingly big it would be. Her own power was dwarfed by the surges of pressure sweeping over her. It was like being hit by a rogue wave, the surf sucking her down and tossing her until she didn’t know which way was up or if she’d ever escape its pull. Except instead of a single wave she was being pounded over and over again, sure to drown except for Ryan’s constant comforting presence.
“Don’t leave me,” she whispered, her voice hoarse.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He gripped her hand harder, as if to assure her of his promise.
She wanted to tell him she didn’t mean now, she meant ever. Yes, she needed him there with her while she brought this baby into the world, but she needed him for so much more. For everything. Forever. But pain stole the words before she could say them. “Oh!” was all she managed as she desperately tried to find a better position, one where it didn’t feel like her bones were going to split apart. Shifting forward out of Ryan’s arms and into a squat, she felt her body pushing without her permission, just as Cassie had predicted.
“Good job, Jessica! You’re doing it,” the veterinarian-turned-midwife cheered.
She wanted to argue, to say she wasn’t consciously doing anything, she was just along for the ride. But conversation was beyond her now. She’d become something much more primitive, every instinct focused on breathing and bearing down and getting her baby out...out...OUT!
“I can see the head!”
Without thinking, Jessica reached down and, with Ryan’s strong arms supporting her, pushed her baby out into her own hands.
He was wet and wrinkly and had the most enormous eyes and he was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen in her life. “I did it?” she asked, awe and wonder and disbelief in her voice.
“Hell yeah, you did!” Ryan crowed, peering over her shoulder at the newest member of their family. “Look at him, he’s perfect.”
“He sure is.” Cassie nodded approvingly, tears in her eyes and a relieved smile splitting her face. “You did great, Jessica.” She grabbed a clean towel and swapped it out for the one Jessica was still squatting over. “Here, you go. Ryan, let Jessica lean back against you again, okay? She’s shaking and we don’t want her to drop him. There, that’s it. Just keep the little guy on her chest there and we’ll wait for the placenta. Or the paramedics, whichever comes first.”
Jessica tensed in Ryan’s arms. “I have to push that out too, don’t I?”
Cassie laughed. “Yes, but don’t worry, that’s the easy part, I promise. Won’t hurt a bit.”
Mollified, Jessica went back to getting to know her baby, stroking his still-slick skin, tracing the contours of this little stranger who had been a part of her for so long and was now his very own person. “He’s a miracle,” she breathed in awe.
“No, you’re the miracle,” Ryan said, his voice husky. “And I’ve been an ungrateful fool not to tell you so before.”
Her breath caught. Had she heard him right or was she still out of it from the birth? “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I love you.” He snuggled her closer against him, as if hoping to physically keep her in his life. “I never stopped. And I’m sorry for acting like that wasn’t enough, like all that other stuff was more important. It wasn’t. Can you forgive me?”
Jessica remembered how he’d walked out on her, how he’d ended things almost as soon as they’d begun.
And yet, their love hadn’t ever really died. The proof of that was in her arms, alive and well and looking up at her with his father’s beautiful brown eyes.
Which was why it was easy, so very easy, to answer his question.
“No, Ryan O’Sullivan, I will not forgive you.”
* * *
Ryan’s shoulders sagged, the weight of the last few hours nothing compared to the burden of knowing he’d truly, permanently ruined things with Jessica. He never should have brought it up, not now. He had no right to taint this moment with bad memories. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked—”
“That’s right, you shouldn’t have. Because you have nothing to apologize for.” She smiled at him, her face practically glowing with joy. “I can’t forgive you when there’s nothing to forgive. I’m the one that messed everything up, not you.”
“How about you two just agree to start over?” Cassie suggested cheerfully as she covered mother and baby with a worn blue blanket embroidered with yellow paw prints. “Nothing says new
beginnings like a birth.”
“What do you think, baby boy?” Jessica crooned to the wide eyes of their son. “Think your daddy and I should start over and give you a real family?”
“Pretty sure he said yes,” Ryan lied, reaching down to stroke an impossibly small hand.
“Oh, you think so?” Jessica chuckled.
“Absolutely. And you wouldn’t want to disappoint him on his birthday, would you?”
“No, I suppose not.” She winced, and he looked up at Cassie, fresh fear pulsing through him.
“What’s wrong? It thought it was over.”
Cassie nodded. “It is, these are just the after pains. They’re a normal part of the process, but they can be pretty intense.”
“You’re telling me!” Jessica shifted in his arms uncomfortably.
“Is there anything I can do?” He couldn’t stand to see her in pain. But she shook her head, her toughness impressing him once again.
“No, just stay here with me.”
“You couldn’t pry me away.”
They sat like that, her in his lap and the baby in her arms, for an hour. At some point Ryan had cut the cord with a pair of sterile scissors Cassie handed to him. Shortly after that Jessica delivered the placenta and then Cassie let them be, busying herself with cleaning up and surreptitiously checking on mother and baby every few minutes. Goldie, who’d been relegated to Cassie’s office after getting a bit too concerned for her mistress, had been let back out, and after a quick sniff of the newcomer was content to curl up on a borrowed dog bed.
Outside, the wind still blew but instead of roaring like a freight train it whimpered, whining around the eaves. The lights had flickered several times, but so far the power was holding out. They were in their own little bubble, cut off from the outside world but safe and sound. They even had snacks, courtesy of Cassie’s hurricane stash. He held a plastic cup of orange juice to Jessica’s lips and watched her drink as their son nursed at her breast. “So, what are we going to call him?” They hadn’t gotten around to names before the big blowup and after that he hadn’t had the heart to discuss it.