by Brynn Hale
I stutter step to a stop. “Fuck,” I mumble under my breath.
“The bar line’s a mile long. I’ll go get it, you find us seating, please. What would you like to drink?” he asks walking backward, and my eyes drop to view if there’s any lingering remnants of our flirting. It’s definitely deflated, but what he has will never be considered flat.
“Vodka, soda, and a wedge of lime, please.”
The DJ starts up and people pass by me. I recognize a face.
“Luke!” I practically jump into his arms.
“Ellie…my God, it’s been too long.”
“How are you?” I step back and I hope that I keep a straight face asking him.
“You know about Grace?”
“I do. I don’t know what to say.” That’s the truth. I want to tell him about seeing her, but maybe he already has, and I should let him speak.
“I still don’t understand. Nine years, Ellie. Nine years we were attached at the hip and now I can’t get a simple text returned.”
I slip my arm under his and tug him. “Come on, let’s get you a drink and you can tell me all about it.”
“Yeah, I think Cole will have something to say about that. What’s going on with you two?” His caramel-brown eyes soften. “I know he’s my brother, but just say the word, Ellie, and I’ll tell him to back off.” He tugs me to a stop.
“Please don’t.” I swallow hard. “Luke, I loved him back in high school and I really think I could love him now. I’m back for good. And I think maybe… maybe we could be good for each other now.”
“God, I’d love to have you as a sis—”
A hand lands on the curve of my back, low enough that I’m startled and jump. “Hello, Ellie. I just want to say how beautiful you look tonight. I’d love to have a dance.”
I slide away from the touch that makes my skin go cold. “Nolan, hello. I’m… I’m here with Cole and I’ll pass on the dance.”
“Just as old friends…” He winks at me and my mouth drops open. He and I were nothing of the sort. I feel my shoulders slumping. I try to straighten my back, but the old me and the new me fight in a major title bout.
Luke goes chest-to-chest with him. “She said ‘no.’ And you have a wife, Church.”
Then I realize that Luke’s standing up for me when really, I should be standing up for myself. I let all these people treat me like this because I thought the same of myself. But I’m not that person anymore.
“And she’s probably waiting for you.” I cross my arms and realize it makes the valley of my breasts more prominent. The only man I want looking at them is striding quickly toward us. Our clear cocktail glasses sloshing liquid over the edge.
“Church,” Cole grunts out his name. “Back the fuck up.”
Nolan raises his hands. “Whoa, whoa, nice attitude Reeves. Shana told me how you can be.”
Cole hands off the drinks to Luke and before I know what’s happening, he’s holding out a stiff arm at Nolan, pushing him back three feet. “I don’t care what Shana told you, but the only person with an attitude here is you, Church. And it’s the wrong one. I remember high school. I remember the shit you said in the locker room.” His face is an inch from Nolan’s. “I remember,” he growls. “So, you stay on your side of the building, we’ll stay on ours, imagine there’s a fence in between us. And if you bully your way over onto our side, I swear… I’ll turn you into a human steer, just like I’ll do to that prize-winning bull of yours the next time it steps foot on my property and impregnates one of my heifers off season.”
“That Angus cost me sixty grand. I’ll have you running to your lawyer—”
“Then I guess you’ll be keeping your bull locked up from now on.” Cole steps back and slaps Nolan’s arm. “Glad we got that straight.”
“I want that offspring, Reeves.”
Cole chuckles. “Contact my lawyer, Church.” He reaches for our drinks from Luke. “Wherever you want, sweetheart.”
The warmth in his face says it all. I don’t need his protection, but I crave it. I crave being his.
I take off across the room to a spot in the back corner that is secluded and out of the direct lights. I motion to a small round table with six rolling chairs. Cole doesn’t hesitate to drag his chair closer to mine. I really think if I would sit in his lap he’d be ecstatic and totally welcome it. And part of me really wants to.
I take a sip of my drink and the cool zing of the vodka instantly takes an edge off of my thoughts.
“How’d your day go?” he asks, his arm slipping around the back of my chair and his fingertips resting against my arm. I gulp at my drink and the tingle in my throat mimics his touch on my skin.
“It was…” I swallow again. Do I really want to tell him about Shana? Should I? Is he really that interested in what happened or just being nice?
I close my eyes.
“Sweetheart what’s wrong?” His hot breath on my ear makes me open my eyes again.
“Shana,” I breathe out her name.
“You saw her today?”
I open my eyes and turn my face, our lips are just a moment away from touching and when I nod they brush and I want more, but I need to be honest with him, too. “I did. I went over to see her dog.”
He sits a little straighter. “Is Mr. Snickers okay?”
I tip my head just a little. He’s actually concerned. “Yeah, she has a little eye infection, but with some drops, she’ll be okay.” I brush a piece of his dark brown hair off of his forehead. “You miss the dog?”
“A little. I taught her to dance on her hind legs and she used to come to see me when I was sleeping in the guest bedroom.”
“By choice?”
“The dog or me?”
“You.”
“Yeah, I tried to make it work, but Shana and I had issues from the beginning. I think I needed someone and she was there. I know how that makes me sound. And don’t get me wrong, I loved her, but not in the way that’s right in a marriage. I want to need someone as much as I love them. And I need them to need me, too. Shana only needed stuff and more things and bigger things. I could never do anything right.”
“Do you remember what I said?”
His forehead rests to mine. “That you got over me?” His other hand finds mine in my lap and he entwines his fingers with mine.
“I don’t think I ever did, Cole.”
“I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that, Ellie, because I’m ready to not get over you, too.” His nose brushes mine and I lick my lips. “In fact, I’m ready to get under you and on top of you and behind you…”
He smiles and I can’t help myself. I press my lips to his and he doesn’t seem surprised. His hand slides behind my neck and tips my head to the right just enough that our lips match up in perfect alignment for him to slip his tongue into my mouth to tangle with mine. Every part of my body tingles and my stomach flutters wildly.
He slows the kiss until my head is spinning. I’m ready for more, but I need to not be too ready, we are in a public place after all.
Cole pulls back slightly. “Holy shit.”
I twist my head to see if he sees something, but he guides me back.
“Elodie Roberts… was that our first kiss?” he asks with raised eyebrows.
I bring my gaze to meet his and shake my head slowly.
“Well, isn’t this a cute scene.” Her saccharine voice makes me stand quickly, taking me back nine years and I need to get away.
“I… I need to use the restroom.”
I’m off on a dead sprint. It’s too much to take. He now knows it was me who kissed him that night, in the coat room, in the dark of night at that Snow Ball. It happened so innocently, but I knew it was wrong. He was twenty-two and I was seventeen, in my first year of college.
I walk past the coat check room and remember that night. I overheard Cole talking to Breck about how Shana was hitting on him and my heart sank. She stayed in Peacock Ridge to work her father’s feed business. It was inevitable and they l
ooked like the perfect couple together, but she also knew how I felt about him. We’d had many late talks about how much I loved him. My dad would take me on calls to their property, and I would do anything to be around him. The little girl who followed on his heels.
I heard him say he was leaving. The ladies in the coat room were passed out on the loveseats in the back, so I turned off all the lights, slid the remaining coats to the back of the room and when he came in, I straightened every bone in my back and I said, “Cole, can I kiss you?”
He asked who it was, but I didn’t answer. He asked, “Shana?” and I didn’t disagree with him. I just went for it.
I knew it wasn’t right to do it, but I didn’t think I’d be coming back and I wanted to know what those lips felt like, even just once. He stilled at first, but then he sunk into me and I remember every moment like it was yesterday, not eight years ago. His hands tangled in my hair and I whimpered at the thought that it would be the only kiss we’d ever have. And then Shana called out his name. I pushed past him and out the front door while he seemed dazed. I ran and I didn’t look back. I knew what was coming. It was clear that he would fall for her, even if I knew she’d never fall for him, or at least not the way I’d fallen for him.
The bathroom is full of women checking their makeup and hair. I wait patiently for a stall, then dart inside. I’m finishing up when I hear two women right in front of my stall.
“I can’t wait to see him propose to her.”
I smile. The thought of two people making their forever, a forever together fills me with hope.
“We’ll see if he actually does it,” a voice almost the opposite of the first, very harsh and jaded, interjects.
The soft voice returns, “That red jersey dress hugs her perfectly. And I’d die to have that much hair.”
I look down and then search my mind for anyone else who was wearing red. There has to be someone. I do have a lot of hair, both a curse and blessing. Curse when it’s ninety percent humidity out and the curls become death spirals that no comb or brush, regardless of its claim to “detangle anything” is going to get through. But blessing when I’m fawned over for hours by two women in Heraldsville who seem to want to be my fairy godmothers.
But it can’t be me. I shake it off.
I gaze at the floor and examine the two pairs of shoes. A pair of black leather boots and a pair of sparkling silver heels jostle for space in front of the small mirror. The place obviously built and designed by men.
“But she’s so…so…” another voice breaks in and I can end that sentence with everything I’ve ever heard. Fat. Big. Overweight. Huge. I’m hoping she’ll have some other caption.
She clears her throat and the caustic nature of her voice hits the air. “If she’d just lose some weight, she’d be beautiful. I just don’t see it. If he proposes, then it’s because she’s rich or has something he wants.”
I’m standing with my hand on the door handle ready to unlock it, but I can’t.
There’s no way it’s Cole they’re talking about.
But deep down, the little girl inside of me still has too much hope. I push her away. I tell her to go back into hiding. They can’t be talking about you. There has to be another woman in a red dress. It is Christmas after all. Plus, it’s too soon. It’s not logical.
Heels click and there’s silence in the room.
But is love ever logical? Or should it be?
COLE
One second, I was asking Elodie what I already knew the truth to and the next she was gone.
But from the moment our lips touched, I knew that wasn’t our first kiss. That was the same kiss I’d felt in my gut almost nine years ago. For nine years I’d wondered who that woman was. All that time I’d assumed it was a fluke the way that moment felt. But the kiss held everything that first kiss held, and more. My chest had heated so fast, I thought she’d put a stick of dynamite inside me. Maybe this was how it was supposed to feel.
I’ve never seen someone in heels move so fast. And now I’m facing the woman who scared off the woman I need and want in my life. I don’t know the story between them, but I’ll find out. As much shit as she put me through, I don’t hate Shana. She wasn’t a nice woman, but when she let down her façade of being tough and in control, she could be… decent. But that wasn’t a benchmark for a good person. That was a benchmark for pizza.
“Hello, Shana.”
“How could you?”
I stand and motion her toward the entry and she follows. “How could I what?”
“Are you trying to hurt me?”
I cross my arms. This is typical Shana. It’s all about her. Always.
“No, Shana, I’m moving on. Hell, I moved on. What I do is no longer any of your business. And to top it all you’re married.”
“She’s not right for you.”
“And how would you know that?”
“Because I know you.”
“No. I don’t think you do. You never did. What we had was based off what we thought people expected. I’m done with expectations. I want to be happy. And Ellie’s my happy.”
“What?” It’s Ellie’s voice behind me and I turn to her.
“You heard me,” I tell her.
Her green eyes sparkle. Ellie grabs my hand. “Let’s go dance, cowboy.”
She pulls me onto the floor and I draw her close, our bodies meshing. Dancing is as close to her as I can physically get for now. I can feel her heart beating fast and one of us has to acknowledge the past. We need to clear it away to start clear and fresh.
“You were the woman in the coat room.”
“I… I was. Are you mad?”
“Mad? Are you kidding? I remember that kiss, baby. That kiss was the best first kiss I’ve ever had.”
“It was my first and only kiss until tonight.”
My stomach crashes. “What?”
She leans close. “I couldn’t bring myself to be with anyone else, Cole. I never stopped loving you.”
I kissed her forehead. “I wish you’d have told me.”
“You weren’t mine to have back then. I wasn’t the person I am now. I stood up to Shana today.”
I chuckle. “So that’s why she was so worked up.”
“She told me that I’m… I’m not the right woman for you.”
“I think we both know that Shana has issues, but let’s not talk about her anymore.”
Elodie’s brown eyes darken. “I’m scared. I’m scared that you really want me.”
I draw her body close, wrapping her in both concern and my love. “I want you, Elodie, and not just tonight. You wanna go back to the ranch?”
She glances up through those long dark lashes. “I do.”
My chest feels like it’ll explode. “You know?” I tap the box in my coat pocket. My mother’s ring at the ready.
“I overheard some women talking in the bathroom about someone proposing.”
Shit. That isn’t how this is supposed to go.
“Then let’s go, sweetheart. We need to talk.”
Elodie turns and tugs me with her. She can drag me anywhere she wants to. And being behind her to see those curves, gliding her hips back and forth, my eyes never leave her ass.
“You two heading—”
“Yes,” Ellie says to Luke and he bursts out laughing.
“Have fun.”
“I won’t be at brunch in the morning,” I say as I push my way into the coat room and collect our coats.
“Figured. I’ll take care of it. Bye, Ellie.”
“Later, Luke.”
As we walk out, someone is walking in. “Um…” I slide to a stop.
“Leave her alone. She’s got to take care of this herself. She can handle Luke.”
I shake my head to clear it, this isn’t about anyone else but me and Ellie.
“My place or yours?” I ask.
“You have any of those cabins open?”
“As a matter of fact, we do.”
ELLIE
He pulls around the main ranch house and follows the trail to the farthest house. He grabs a set of keys out of the glovebox. “You ready?”
“Cole, I’ve been ready for you since I was a teenager.”
“Damn, woman, I think you’re gonna make me blush.” He opened his door but turned back. “Shit…um, not to make this awkward, but I don’t have a condom.”
I open my bag. “I’m on the Pill, but if you insist on wearing suspenders with a belt, there.” I flick a condom at him and he catches it with a smile.
He reaches to me and drags me across the leather seat to him. “I’m clean and sweetheart, you say the word and I’ll be like that rogue bull, ready to make the next generation of Reeves to walk these halls.”
I swallow. “Let’s just take tonight slow and we can talk about that later.” I run my fingers through his thick strands, tussling his perfect hair as I go. He tugs me to the edge of the seat and I gasp.
“You, Ellie, you do that to me. I can’t help myself with you. Those eyes.”
“Let’s go inside before I make you use that condom in this truck.”
He chuckles. “Oh, don’t worry, we’ll break Bessie in soon enough.”
I shiver.
“You cold?”
“No.”
I figure he’s already come to understand that I’m a virgin, but sometimes in the past he’s been oblivious, so…
The cabins were decorated with holiday spirit. The wood fireplace mantles had fresh evergreens and red berries with a gold ribbon running through it. A small Colorado blue spruce was in the corner with homemade ornaments of dried oranges, strung cranberries, popcorn, and balls of birdseed.
“We put all the trees outside after Christmas and let the birds and animals have a go.”
My eyes burn a little with salty tears. I walk to a picture on the wall. Four generations. Cole. His father, Christian. His grandfather, Delbert, and his great-grandfather. “What was your great-grandfather’s name?”