Ykka blinks, then eyes Hoa with new interest. “I did ask you to sit on my council once.”
“I can’t speak for my kind any more than you can for yours,” Hoa says. “And I had more important things to do.”
You see Ykka blink at his voice and blatantly stare at him. You wave a hand at Hoa wearily. Unlike Ykka, you’ve slept, but it wasn’t exactly quality sleep, while you sat in a sweltering apartment waiting for a geode to hatch. “Speaking what you know will help.” And then, prompted by some instinct, you add, “Please.”
Because somehow, you think he’s reticent. His expression hasn’t changed. His posture is the one he showed you last, the young man in repose with one hand upraised; he’s changed his location, but not his position. Still.
The proof of his reticence comes when he says, “Very well.” It’s all in the tone. But fine, you can work with reticent.
“What does the gray stone eater want?” Because you’re pretty rusting sure he doesn’t really want Castrima to join some Equatorial comm. Human nation-state politics just wouldn’t mean much to them, unless it was in service to some other goal. The people of Rennanis are his pawns, not the other way around.
“There are many of us now,” Hoa replies. “Enough to be called a people in ourselves and not merely a mistake.”
At this apparent non sequitur, you exchange a look with Ykka, who looks back at you as if to say, He’s your mess, not mine. Maybe it’s relevant somehow. “Yes?” you prompt.
“There are those of my kind who believe this world can safely bear only one people.”
Oh, Evil Earth. This is what Alabaster talked about. How had he described it? Factions in an ancient war. The ones who wanted people… neutralized.
Like the stone eaters themselves, ’Baster had said.
“You want to wipe us out,” you say. Whisper. “Or… change us into stone? Like what’s happening to Alabaster?”
“Not all of us,” Hoa says softly. “And not all of you.”
A world of only stone people. The thought of it makes you shiver. You envision falling ash and skeletal trees and creepy statues everywhere, some of the latter moving. How? They are unstoppable, but until now they’ve only preyed on each other. (That you know of.) Can they turn all of you into stone, like Alabaster? And if they wanted to wipe humankind out, shouldn’t they have been able to manage it before now?
You shake your head. “This world has borne two people, for Seasons. Three, if you count orogenes; the stills do.”
“Not all of us are content with that.” His voice is very soft now. “Such a rare thing, the birth of a new one of our kind. We wear on endlessly, while you rise and spawn and wilt like mushrooms. It’s hard not to envy. Or covet.”
Ykka is shaking her head in confusion. Though her voice holds its usual unflappable attitude, you see a little frown of wonder between her brows. Her mouth pulls to one side, though, as if she cannot help but show at least a little disgust. “Fine,” she says. “So stone eaters used to be us, and now you want to kill us. Why should we trust you?”
“Not ‘stone eaters.’ Not all of us want the same thing. Some like things as they are. Some even want to make the world better… though not all agree on what that means.” Instantly his posture changes—hands out, palms up, shoulders lifted in a What can you do? gesture. “We’re people.”
“And what do you want?” you ask. Because he didn’t answer Ykka’s question, and you noticed.
Those silver irises flick over to you, stay. You think you see wistfulness in his still face. “The same thing I’ve always wanted, Essun. To help you. Only that.”
You think, Not everyone agrees on what “help” means.
“Well, this is touching,” Ykka says. She rubs her tired eyes. “But you’re not getting to the point. What does Castrima being destroyed have to do with… giving the world one people? What’s this gray man up to?”
“I don’t know.” Hoa’s still looking at you. It’s not as unnerving as it should be. “I tried to ask him. It didn’t go well.”
“Guess,” you say. Because you know full well there’s a reason he asked the gray man in the first place.
Hoa’s eyes shift down. Your distrust hurts. “He wants to make sure the Obelisk Gate is never opened again.”
“The what?” Ykka asks. But you’re leaning your head back against the wall, floored and horrified and wondering. Of course. Alabaster. What easier way to wipe out people who depend on food and sunlight to survive than to simply let this Season wear on until they are extinct? Leaving nothing but the stone eaters to inherit the darkening Earth. And to make sure it happens, kill the only person with the power to end it.
Only person besides you, you realize with a chill. But no. You can manipulate an obelisk, but you haven’t got a clue how to activate two hundred of the rusting things at once. And can Alabaster do it anymore? Every use of orogeny kills him slowly. Flaking rust—you’re the only one left who even has the potential to open the Gate. But if Gray Man’s pet army kills both of you, his purpose is served either way.
“It means Gray Man wants to wipe out orogenes in particular,” you say to Ykka. You’re abbreviating heavily, not lying. That’s what you tell yourself. That’s what you need to tell Ykka, so that she never learns that orogenes have the potential power to save the world, and so that she never attempts to access an obelisk herself. This is what Alabaster must have constantly had to do with you—telling you some of the truth because you deserve it, but not enough that you’ll skewer yourself on it. Then you think of another bone you can throw. “Hoa was trapped in an obelisk for a while. He said it’s the only thing that can stop them.”
Not the only way, he’d said. But maybe Hoa’s giving you only the safe truths, too.
“Well, shit,” Ykka says, annoyed. “You can do obelisk stuff. Throw one at him.”
You groan. “That wouldn’t work.”
“What would, then?”
“I have no idea! That’s what I’ve been trying to learn from Alabaster all this time.” And failing, you don’t want to say. Ykka can guess it, anyway.
“Great.” Ykka abruptly seems to wilt. “You’re right; I need to sleep. I had Esni mobilize the Strongbacks to secure weapons in the comm. Ostensibly they’re making them ready for use if we have to fight off these Equatorials. In truth…” She shrugs, sighs, and you understand. People are frightened right now. Best not to tempt fate.
“You can’t trust the Strongbacks,” you say softly.
Ykka looks up at you. “Castrima isn’t wherever you came from.”
You want to smile, though you don’t because you know how ugly the smile will be. You’re from so many places. In every one of them you learned that roggas and stills can never live together. Ykka shifts a little at the look on your face anyway. She tries again: “Look, how many other comms would’ve let me live after learning what I was?”
You shake your head. “You were useful. That worked for the Imperial Orogenes, too.” But being useful to others is not the same thing as being equal.
“Fine, then I’m useful. We all are. Kill or exile the roggas and we lose Castrima-under. Then we’re at the mercy of a bunch of people who would as soon treat all of us like roggas, just because our ancestors couldn’t pick a race and stick to it—”
“You keep saying ‘we,’” you say. It is gentle. It bothers you to puncture her illusions.
She stops, and a muscle in her jaw flexes once or twice. “Stills learned to hate us. They can learn differently.”
“Now? With an enemy literally at the gate?” You’re so tired. So tired of all this shit. “Now is when we’ll see the worst of them.”
Ykka watches you for a long moment. Then she slumps—completely, her back bowing and her head hanging and her ashblow hair sliding off to the sides of her neck until it looks utterly ridiculous, a butterfly mane. It hides her face. But she draws in a long, weary breath, and it sounds almost like a sob. Or a laugh.
“No, Essun.” She rubs
her face. “Just… no. Castrima is my home, same as theirs. I’ve worked for it. Fought for it. Castrima wouldn’t be here if not for me—and probably some of the other roggas who risked themselves to keep it all going, over the years. I’m not giving up.”
“It isn’t giving up to look out for yourself—”
“Yes. It is.” She lifts her head. It wasn’t a sob or a laugh. She’s furious. Just not at you. “You’re saying these people—my parents, my creche teachers, my friends, my lovers—You’re saying just leave them to their fate. You’re saying they’re nothing. That they’re not people at all, just beasts whose nature it is to kill. You’re saying roggas are nothing but, but prey and that’s all we’ll ever be! No! I won’t accept that.”
She sounds so determined. It makes your heart ache, because you felt the same way she did, once. It would be nice to still feel that way. To have some hope of a real future, a real community, a real life… but you have lost three children relying on stills’ better nature.
You grab the runny-sack and get up to leave, rubbing a hand over your locs. Hoa vanishes, reading your cue that the conversation is over. Later, then. When you’re almost at the curtain, though, Ykka stops you with what she says.
“Pass the word around,” she tells you. The emotion is gone from her voice. “No matter what happens, we can’t start anything.” Loaded into that delicate emphasis is an acknowledgment that orogenes are the we she means, this time. “We shouldn’t even finish it. Fighting back could set off a mob. Only talk to the others in small groups. Person to person’s best, if you can, so no one thinks we’re getting together to conspire. Make sure the children know all this. Make sure none of them are ever alone.”
Most of the orogene children do know how to defend themselves. The techniques you taught them work just as well for deterring or stopping attackers as for icing boilbug nests. But Ykka’s right: There are too few of you to fight back—not without destroying Castrima, a pyrrhic victory. It means that some orogenes are going to die. You’re going to let them die, even if you could save them. And you did not think Ykka cold enough to think this way.
Your surprise must show on your face. Ykka smiles. “I have hope,” she says, “but I’m not stupid. If you’re right, and things get hopeless, then we don’t go without a fight. We make them regret turning on us. But up to that point of no return… I hope you’re not right.”
You know you’re right. The belief that orogenes will never be anything but the world’s meat dances amid the cells of you, like magic. It isn’t fair. You just want your life to matter.
But you say: “I hope I’m not right, too.”
The dead have no wishes.
—Tablet Three, “Structures,” verse six
17
Nassun, versus
IT HAS BEEN SO LONG since Nassun was proud of herself that when she becomes capable of healing Schaffa, she runs all the way through town and up to Found Moon to tell him.
“Healing” is how she thinks of it. She has spent the past few days out in the forest, practicing her new skill. It is not always easy to detect the wrongness in a body; sometimes she must carefully follow the threads of silver within a thing to find its knots and warps. The ashfalls have grown more frequent and sustained lately, and most of the forest is patchy with grayness, some plants beginning to wilt or go dormant in response. This is normal for them, and the silver threads prove this by their uninterrupted flow. Yet when Nassun goes slowly, looks carefully, she can usually find things for which change is not normal or healthy. The grub beneath a rock that has a strange growth along its side. The snake—venomous and more vicious now that a Season has begun, so she only examines it from a distance—with a broken vertebra. The melon vine whose leaves are growing in a convex shape, catching too much ash, instead of concavity, which would shake the ash off. The few ants in a nest who have been infected by a parasitic fungus.
She practices extraction of the wrongness on these things, and many others. It’s a difficult trick to master—like performing surgery using only thread, without ever touching the patient. She learns how to make the edge of one thread grow very sharp, and how to loop and lasso with another, and how to truncate a third thread and use the burning tip of it to cauterize. She gets the growth off the grub, but it dies. She stitches together the edges of broken bone within the snake, though this only speeds what was already happening naturally. She finds the parts of the plant that are saying curve up and convinces them to say curve down. The ants are best. She cannot get all or even most of the fungus out of them, but she can sear the connections in their brains that make them behave strangely and spread the infection. She’s very, very glad to have brains to work on.
The culmination of Nassun’s practice occurs when commless raiders strike again, one morning as dew still dampens the ash and ground litter. The band that Schaffa devastated is gone; these are new miscreants who don’t know the danger. Nassun is not distracted by her father anymore, not helpless anymore, and after she ices one of the raiders, most of the others flee. But she detects a snarl of threads in one of them at the last instant, and then must resort to old-style orogeny (as she has come to think of it) in order to drop the ground beneath the raider and trap her in a pit.
The raider throws a knife at Nassun when she peeks over the edge; it’s only luck that it misses. But carefully, while staying out of sight, Nassun follows the threads and finds a three-inch wooden splinter lodged in the woman’s hand, so deep that it scrapes bone. It is poisoning her blood and will kill her; already the infection is so advanced that it has swollen her hand to twice its size. A comm doctor, or even a decent farrier, could extract the thing, but the commless do not have the luxury of skilled care. They live on luck, what little there is in a Season.
Nassun decides to become the woman’s luck. She settles nearby so that she can concentrate, and then carefully—while the woman gasps and swears and cries What is happening?—she pulls the splinter free. When she looks into the pit again, the woman is on her knees and groaning as she holds her dripping hand. Belatedly Nassun realizes she will need to learn how to anesthetize, so she settles against the tree again and casts her thread to try to catch a nerve this time. It takes her some time to learn how to numb it, and not just cause more pain.
But she learns, and when she is done she feels grateful to the raider woman, who lies groaning and in a stupor in the pit. Nassun knows better than to let the woman go; if she lives, she will only either die slowly and cruelly, or return and perhaps next time threaten someone Nassun loves. So Nassun casts her threads one last time, and this time slices neatly through the top of her spine. It is painless, and kinder than the fate the woman intended for Nassun.
Now she runs up the hill toward Found Moon, elated for the first time since she killed Eitz, so eager to see Schaffa that she barely notices the other children of the compound as they stop whatever they’re doing and favor her with cool stares. Schaffa has explained to them that what she did to Eitz was an accident, and he has assured her they will eventually come around. She hopes he is right because she misses their friendship. But none of that is important now.
“Schaffa!” She first pokes her head into the Guardians’ cabin. Only Nida is there, standing in the corner as she so often does, staring into the middle distance as if lost in thought. She focuses as soon as Nassun comes in, however, and smiles in her empty way.
“Hello, Schaffa’s little one,” she says. “You seem cheerful today.”
“Hello, Guardian.” She is always polite to Nida and Umber. Just because they want to kill her is no reason to forget her manners. “Do you know where Schaffa is?”
“He is in the crucible with Wudeh.”
“Okay, thanks!” Nassun hurries off, undeterred. She knows that Wudeh, as the next most skilled with Eitz gone, is the only other child in Found Moon who has some hope of connecting to an obelisk. Nassun thinks it is hopeless because no one can train him in the way he needs to be trained, given that he is so small and
frail. Wudeh would never have survived Mama’s crucibles.
Still, she is polite to him, too, running up to the edge of the outermost practice circle and bouncing only a little, keeping her orogeny still so as not to distract him while he raises a big basalt column from the ground and then tries to push it back in. He’s already breathing hard, though the column isn’t moving very fast. Schaffa is watching him intently, his smile not as big as usual. Schaffa sees it, too.
Finally Wudeh gets the column back into the ground. Schaffa takes his shoulder and helps him over to a bench, which is plainly necessary because Wudeh can barely walk at this point. Schaffa glances at Nassun, and Nassun nods at once and turns to run back into the mess hall to fetch a glass from the pitcher of fruit-water there. When she brings it to Wudeh, he blinks at her once, then looks ashamed of hesitating, and finally takes it with a shy nod of thanks. Schaffa is always right.
“Do you need help back to the dormitory?” Schaffa asks him.
“I can make it back myself, sir,” Wudeh says. His eyes dart to Nassun, by which Nassun understands that Wudeh probably would like help back, but knows better than to get in between Schaffa and his favorite student.
Nassun looks at Schaffa. She’s excited, but she can wait. He lifts an eyebrow, then inclines his head and extends a hand to help Wudeh up.
Once Wudeh is safely abed, Schaffa comes back over to where Nassun now sits on the bench. She’s calmer for the delay, which is good, because she knows she’s going to need to seem calm and cool and professional in order to convince him to let some half-grown, half-trained girl experiment on him with magic.
Schaffa sits down beside her, looking amused. “All right, then.”
She takes a deep breath before beginning. “I know how to take the thing out of you.”
They both know exactly what she’s talking about. She has sat beside Schaffa, quietly offering herself, as he has huddled on this very bench clutching his head and whispering replies to a voice she cannot hear and shuddering as it punishes him with lashes of silver pain. Even now it is a low, angry throb inside him, pushing him to obey. To kill her. She makes herself available because her presence eases the pain for him, and because she does not believe he will actually kill her. This is folly, she knows. Love is no inoculation against murder. But she needs to believe it of him.
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