by T Gephart
“I’m not even going to pretend to understand the correlation between those three items, why it would come up in a conversation between the two of you or why her lack of interest has you on a mercy mission. Maybe just knock on the front door first before you bust open the frame?” Damn Dave for being so god damn practical! He was a thinking man though so I suppose I could knock first and see if she’d come to the door.
“Ok, I’ll go knock but if I get no answer we’re heading down to Ace Hardware. No arguments.” I moved through our apartment towards our entry-way.
I listened as I opened the front door and stepped out into our shared hallway. It was so quiet as I moved to the front of her apartment. Unsure of whether I should bang on the door and demand she open it or tentatively knock, I compromised between the two and thumped moderately on the wood. “Lexi, it’s Taylah. Open up.”
No answer.
“Lexi, I need you to open this door.” I pummelled my fist harder against the door.
“Go away.” A muffled voice, that I barely recognised as Lexi, called from the other side.
“Lex? Are you ok?” I stopped pounding and pressed my ear to the door. She sounded almost wounded.
“Yes. Please just leave me alone.” Her voice seemed pained and hoarse.
“Lex, if you are sick we can get you a doctor. Open the door Hun. I promise I don’t even care if you are wearing stretchy pants.” I was officially concerned. There must be something I could do for her. Whatever it was, there must be something I could do to help her.
“Please just leave me. I’m ok. Please just go.” Lexi begged as I rested my head against the door.
“Lexi!” I ran my hand against the wood grain, “Lexi!”
Silence. There was no further movement or noises as I stood patiently in the hall. It was clear that for whatever reason she was not opening this door. I leaned up against the wall and listened for any signs of what could be going on beyond its confines but the damn wall gave me nothing. My gut churned with worry but I knew nothing was going to be achieved from this hallway, at least not at this juncture of time.
I silently slunk back to my apartment, dejected, but mostly just uneasy about the whole situation. It was so unlike her. Why? Dave greeted me in our entranceway, his arms folded across his chest, “No answer?”
“She answered alright but it’s not good. This whole situation reeks of NO GOOD.” I wrapped my arms around his neck as I brought my lips to his.
He opened his arms, accepting the weight of my body against his taller, more muscular frame. “Why don’t we call James and see if he has any ideas? Might be cheaper than the repair bill for breaking the door. Whatcha say?” Dave pulled me closer as I nodded.
As always, Dave knew what to do. While I maintain that my idea of breaking in was still valid, I was willing to concede that perhaps his tactic might be more viable. (Though even Dave would have to admit my idea definitely had more flair!) We ambled back into our living room and Dave retrieved the cordless phone from the base. “Toss me my Blackberry, Babe?”
I slumped into my wingback chair as I handed Dave his Blackberry. I was never any good with waiting. I swung my legs impatiently as he dialled and waited for a response.
“Hey James. It’s Dave. (Pause) Yeah, I’m great. How are you? (More pausing) It has been awhile. (Pause… get to the point Dave!) I’d love to work with you guys again but that’s not why I’m calling. Listen, so Lexi has kind of been MIA for a few days and Tay’s a bit worried.”
“Shit’s not right Dave, you know it.” I interjected. This wasn’t me over reacting. Granted I did have the propensity to pull things slightly out of proportion but this wasn’t one of those times.
Dave waved me off before continuing, “Yeah. You guys can’t get a hold of her either huh? Hmmmm When was the last time you spoke or heard from her?”
“What’s he saying?” I jiggled restlessly in my seat. “Ask him if he knows how to pick a lock.” If the crowbar was out of the question, maybe we could enter via other means. Surely one of those guys had skills that were less than legal, not that I was judging but they were originally from The Bronx. (Ok I was judging, sue me!)
“Tay, hold up! We’re working it out and I can’t hear with you barking in my ear.” Dave smiled gently as he held up his hand in protest.
“Yeah man. That sounds like a plan.” What plan? Why am I not being consulted? I jumped up from my chair and started to pace. “Let me know if you need us to do anything and we’ll hang tight until we hear from you.” Hang? I didn’t want hang. Unless it was off of the roof so I could rappel down the side of the building and enter through Lexi’s large living room window. SHIT! Why didn’t I think of that earlier? I need some rope and… “Yep. All good.” What’s good? Tell me, Tell ME!! I waved my arms in front of Dave. “Tell the guys hi and we’ll catch up soon. Ok. Bye.”
“What? What plan? I’ve got an idea! We get some rope and we…” The jumbled words spilled from my mouth in a breathless rush.
“Tay. No rope!” Dave put the kybosh on my suggestion without even hearing it out. “Hannah is going to contact a friend of Lexi’s, Matt. They are close and he’s listed as her emergency contact. We’ll see if maybe he can’t get through to her.”
“Ok but if that doesn’t work, we do it my way. I’ll go start Googling belays.” It’s not that I doubted Plan Matt (Lexi had mentioned him before and from what she said they were close) but I wanted to be prepared if he also came up empty. I would be ready and you can bet your ass those ropes were going to match!
Chapter 13 - Hannah
Author’s Note: Matt has convinced Lexi that she needs to resolve things with Alex so she borrows his car and drives over to James & Hannah’s where the band are all assembled.
“Han, you are going to burn a hole in the floor from all that pacing. What’s got you so edgy?” James’ arms surrounded me in a hug, his kiss catching the side of my mouth.
“I’m ok. The baby is just laying in a weird position.” I lied as I rubbed my belly. As if in protest, little Jelly Bean picked that moment to gently kick my side. Yeah, I know sweetheart, Mommy’s anxiety has nothing to do with you. I bit back the guilt I felt over my little untruth, but I had committed to Lexi not to mention her impending arrival to the guys. For whatever reason she wanted to keep it under wraps and I was just so relieved she was finally “back” I would have agreed to anything. Well maybe not anything, but although keeping my mouth shut while it was happening was proving difficult, it was still doable.
Alex raised his tired eyes, glancing at us as he leaned on the pool table. He was doing better but still seemed tormented. He had been through so much in the last few days and he was being so strong for his family but my heart ached for him. I was so glad he allowed us to be there for him.
“Dude you have any porn on your Pay Per View? I’m feeling kind of edgy myself.” Dan strolled in from the connecting theatre room, remote in hand.
“No Dan and don’t you dare charge porn to my cable account!” I snapped. Dan always seemed to come up with the most inappropriate thing to say.
“I was asking James, Hannah. Every man has a porn stash, whether you know about it or not. Don’t think prince charming here is any different!” Dan poked James in the chest.
“Dan, who even buys porn any more? Have you watched HBO lately? Besides there is this thing, it’s called the internet, so much free porn even you wouldn’t know what to do with it.” Troy fired back, taking his shot at the pool table.
“Fine fuckers, let’s pretend we don’t watch porn so we don’t offend Hannah. I’m telling you though, if I don’t blow a load soon I think I might spontaneously combust!” Dan dramatically collapsed into the couch.
“Too much info,” shuddered Jason as he twisted open his beer.
“Ewwww you are so gross Dan.” I bristled as I unwrapped James’ arms from my waist. “I think I might leave you guys to it.”
“Don’t leave on Dan’s account.” James smoothed the hair f
rom my face.
“No, it’s not Dan. I just have other things I need to take care of.” I kissed James gently as I made my way to the door. I was hoping that Lexi wasn’t too far away, I couldn’t keep still as the nervous energy vibrated through me.
I was really glad she called; I had been going out of my mind. She had been so sad the day of Jensen’s funeral. We all had been. Watching Alex bury his father was heartbreaking. It affected all of us but Lexi just closed off, she disappeared and we didn’t hear from her. She didn’t exactly have a stellar relationship with Alex, but when it counted she came and supported him. She was there in his mother’s house, it was her who coaxed him down from his old bedroom and convinced him to go home. Alex had needed someone who would be strong for him and Lexi had been able to do that. Whatever the reasons why he listened to her, both James and I were eternally grateful. I thought perhaps, they’d turned a corner? I was hoping they could stop the snide remarks that volleyed back and forth between them.
It was more than sadness that I sensed in her the last time I saw her. I wish I knew what it was, but I couldn’t place it. It was some kind of darkness. James had told me I was over reacting but when she didn’t return our calls and emailed Chris taking a leave of absence, my fears were confirmed. This wasn’t just pregnancy hormones, there was something more. So when Dave and Taylah called and they too were concerned, I knew we had to take action. I hoped Lexi wouldn’t be angry at the intrusion into her privacy but I felt like I had no other choice than to call her emergency contact, Matt Burns. He was so charming. He didn’t even hesitate in booking a flight to New York, insisting that he be the one who went over to her apartment.
I pressed my face against the glass of the front window as I heard a car approaching. The small red compact zipped around the front of the house and parked to the side. She hesitated before exiting the car and I all but ran to the front door.
“Lexi, I’m so glad you came! I’ve missed you.” I threw my arms around her and hugged her within an inch of her life.
“I’ve missed you too, Han. I’m sorry I worried you. I just needed a few days to get my head straight.” She hugged me back.
I grabbed her arm and gently pulled her out of the doorway. “Come in, everyone’s in the games room! James and the boys are going to be so excited to see you.” Excitement rippled through me as I led her to where everyone was assembled. They had missed her almost as much as I had.
The conversation that was flowing free and easy stopped when we entered the room. “Look who stopped by!” Everyone in the room now gave us their full attention and stared at Lexi.
“Jesus, Lexi! Where have you been?” James hugged her as the others got in line to welcome Lexi back to fold.
“Had some things I needed to take care of but I’m back and everything is back to normal.” The relief on James’ face matched my own as he released Lexi.
Jason, Troy and even Dan took their turn giving Lexi a heartfelt hello but Alex stood unmoving and stoic in his place at the pool table. He shrugged and ignored the commotion that had erupted in the room. I could have kicked his ass! I have no idea what had gotten into him. Sure, he could seem introspective sometimes (he had that whole cool thing nailed down) but this was bullshit! The only reason I wasn’t in his face and giving him a pounding was the fact he’d buried his father only a few days before. Still he was acting like a JERK and I was not happy!
Lexi stood in front of him at the pool table as he attempted to make another shot. “I need to talk to you.” She seemed angry but resolute. Clearly, she had had enough of his moody jerk-ass behaviour too. I inwardly cheered that she was obviously not paying him the same concessions as I was.
“I’ve got nothing to say,” he mumbled as he gently tugged her away from the table so he could continue the pool game.
“I didn’t ask you if you had anything to say,” Lexi hissed, “I said I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.” She wasn’t yelling but her tone was sharp and everyone in the room knew she meant business. I stared at James who shrugged. He was as bewildered as I was as at the scenario unfolding before us. So the moodiness was clearly catching?!
“Well then, there is nothing you can say that I want to hear.” Alex’s icy tone matched hers as he stared her down, tugging again at her arm to move her away from the table so that he could take his shot.
“Well I don’t give a shit about what you want to hear. Because guess what? You are going to hear it anyway.” Lexi exploded. Holy hell. Looking around the room I noticed I was not the only one that had no idea what the heck was going on. It didn’t seem to matter as Lexi and Alex were clearly oblivious that we were in the room. Everyone knew things with the two of them were “volatile”. In fairness, they were probably too similar and they just seemed to rub each other the wrong way, but we hadn’t seen this new kind of venom in either of them. No one dared say a word as we looked on, staring in confused silence.
Lexi continued, “I don’t know what those last few days meant to you but they were everything to me. I know I hurt you in the past and I’m sorry. I was trying to protect you and protect myself. I fell in love with you and I was scared and I should have told you but I didn’t. I fucked up and I lost you but I’ll be damned if that gives you permission to fuck me like I’m some whore and then discard me when you are done.”
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! What? What? What? It’s like I heard the words come out of her mouth but they didn’t make any sense. What? She’s in love with him? She hurt him in the past? Wait a minute, they had sex?? I thought they couldn’t stand each other? She LOVES him? (Did I already cover that?) Damn, I felt like a Mack truck had just run through the room and left carnage either side. James’ eyes widened as he too was piecing this riddle together in his head. When did this happen? How can no one seem to have known about it?
“You love me?” Alex asked, nowhere near as surprised as we were but you could tell Lexi’s little outburst and declaration had caught him off guard. Jeez now my head was really swimming!
“Yes, I love you asshole! Against my better judgement.” Lexi snapped, her anger not waning despite confessing her feelings for Alex.
Alex let the pool cue drop and pulled Lexi into his arms, his lips covered hers in a fevered desperation as he admitted he loved her too, without calling her an asshole which I’m thankful for, though my head was still reeling from what was happening.
Lexi pushed him back, his passionate display not winning her over, as she demanded answers about why he pushed her away and walked away from him after spending four nights with him. Four nights? Wait? When Lexi came to the Stone house and took Alex home, is that when they “hooked up?” You don’t fall in love in four days. Maybe that’s why they were so weird to each other the day of the funeral? I still can’t believe they slept together.
We all watched on as the drama unfolded before our eyes. How on earth could we have missed what had been going on right under our noses?
“Lexi, I didn’t know what to think. We never spoke about it in the morning and I was worried I’d scare you off. I knew how the idea of being in a relationship scared you, and I didn’t want to lose you.”
Wait! Lose her? When were they even together??
“I thought that you only stayed because you felt sorry for me because of my Dad.”
Ummm Alex are you joking right now? I don’t think you have ever been on the receiving end of a pity fuck. Surely you aren’t that stupid!!
“Even though I knew this, I was willing to take that, to be with you. Then the morning of the funeral when I saw your clothes on my bed…” Ok, so I was right! They were weird with each other at the funeral and it wasn’t just grief, “I… I couldn’t do it anymore.” I could tell he was struggling with his emotions as he swallowed, “I realised I wanted a relationship, Lexi.”
Oh My God! Did Alex Stone just say the “R” word? I was getting whiplash from the craziness that was sprouting from both their mouths, but I was totally astounded at Alex’s revelations.
; “I want to know that the woman who lays her clothes on my bed is going to stick around. I want more.”
Alex wants more? James shot me the same wide-eye “are-you-hearing-this-craziness-we’ve-never-heard-before?” look that I was positive I was wearing.
“I want what my Dad and Mom had. I’ve loved you for so long and didn’t realise it…”
How long? When did this all start?? I was desperate to know but interrupting this confession/declaration speech was not an option. I’d never seen Alex so intense. His face was locked on Lexi, in his eyes was a need I hadn’t ever observed before. It felt wrong being here with them but I couldn’t move. I was frozen in my place as he continued.
“…but right at that moment I knew I couldn’t go on loving you if you didn’t love me back. I thought the only way was a clean break; I couldn’t face burying my Dad pretending I was something I wasn’t. I’m done fucking around Lexi.”
I think Hell just froze over. I’d never thought I’d see this day.
He pulled her closer to his body, his hands circling her waist. “I’m sorry I was an asshole, I thought I was doing the right thing. Every night I spent with you was amazing, you have no idea what it meant to me, knowing how much you hated spending the night but you did it anyway. Baby, no woman has ever done that for me.”
It was if we had ceased to exist as Lexi spilled her own confessions, “I didn’t hate spending the night with you, I loved sleeping in your arms. I stayed because I wanted to, not because I felt sorry for you. I hated the mornings when I’d have to let you go. I love you Alex, I don’t want to let you go.”
My eyes welled as I watched the two of them, how could I have not have seen this? They were meant to be. Just like two sides of the same coin. Both of them too stubborn and too proud for their own good, but nonetheless perfect for each other. Oh and I bet they would make the cutest babies, well next to our of course. I know I was getting ahead of myself but this was the first and only time Alex had laid it on the line like that. He’d never even come close, so it didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out this was the real deal.