I unfolded it, tears suddenly pricking the backs of my eyes as I read the feminine script.
Consider this our way of making up for all the Christmases and birthdays we missed.
-Zoe & Michael
"This is gorgeous!" Katy exclaimed. I looked up to see her lifting a crimson red dress with capped sleeves and a flared skirt. She held it against her front and smiled at me. "You realize I plan to borrow this, right?"
I laughed, tucking the paper into my pocket. "Whatever you want."
The boxes were all filled with things I remembered looking at when Zoe and my mom took me shopping. Things I knew were too expensive or too silly to bother with trying on or buying. The trip had been strictly utilitarian - jeans, basic shirts, a coat, a pair of sneakers and some new underwear.
In the new boxes, Zoe had also included several sets of lacy, girly underwear that I actually kind of loved. They definitely weren't the hand-me-downs from Long Mesa or even the new, plain cotton ones I had bought with her and my mother. The fact that Zoe footed the bill for both shopping trips still felt wrong to me, but Mom only had a little cash leftover from what Zara had given us. Mom finally made Zoe agree it was only a loan until she found a job and could pay her back.
Katy opened my closet door and started hanging things up. After a beat, she turned back to me. "You realize all of your clothes have tags on them, right?"
I nodded slowly. "Yeah. They're all new. Mom and I left our old pack and we didn't really have time to pack much."
Katy frowned. "My mom gave me a few basics about you before you came here. She mentioned you and your mom left a really bad pack."
I nodded again, glancing at Larkin, who offered an encouraging smile as she settled onto her own bed. She pulled her pillow onto her lap, hugging it to her chest.
Katy hung up the red dress. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I flinched.
No.
No way did I want to talk about it. Now or ever.
"You don't have to, or anything," Katy continued, her tone light as she kept putting my things away like a personal assistant. "I just want you to know that if you want to, or need to, talk, I'm here."
"Me, too," Larkin added.
Katy glanced back at me. "Zero judgment. Whatever you say stays here."
I let out a shaky laugh. "Thanks. I'm not used to having friends or people to talk to."
"You do now," Katy announced, hanging up the last shirt. She closed the closet door and leaned against it, her red hair hanging in loose waves around her shoulders. "You're part of our pack now. And besides, I like you. I think you'll be good for the pack. Lord knows we could use some members who are actually loyal."
Larkin sighed. "It's only Sierra and Ainsley who want to leave."
Katy grimaced and sat down at the foot of Larkin's bed. She leaned back against the wall, resting her hands on her stomach. "I don't know. Sierra's been talking to some of the younger girls. It's like she's playing some sort of matchmaking pimp for the Norwood pack."
I sat on my own bed, curling my legs up. "What's the deal with the Norwood pack?"
"It's so stupid and so freaking misogynistic," Katy muttered, rolling her brown eyes to the ceiling. "Basically, it goes back to when my parents were at school here. The now-Alpha of the Norwood pack decided that my mom should be his mate. When they all graduated, he challenged my dad for her."
My eyes rounded. "But aren't your parents true mates, or something?"
"They are now, but then they were teenagers and my mom's parents had a lot of money. My grandfather handles investments for the majority of our pack. The Norwood pack was hoping that by challenging my dad for her, she would marry into their pack and bring all her family's money with her." Katy snorted. "Anyway, my dad kicked his ass and got the girl. It caused a big rift between the two packs."
"Wow." That was absolutely crazy. It was strange to think that anyone wouldn't see how perfect Gabriel and Mallory were for each other.
"Exactly. It's so stupid and so archaic that males can still challenge mate rights." Katy made a face. "Like women are still property that can be traded around."
Larkin hummed in agreement. "It's always been that way."
"Hopefully not for much longer," Katy replied. "My dad is hoping to bring the issue to the Alphas at the Summit meeting next year."
I loved the spring Summit meeting. It was an annual event that happened each spring where all the pack Alphas in North America came together to discuss shifter issues, treaties, and pack boundaries. Alphas and those expected to become Alphas one day were required to attend.
Which meant I got two weeks every year free from thinking about my grandfather, uncle, and Cassian.
Larkin leaned forward. "Do you think they'll actually remove the law?"
Katy sighed. "I hope so. Our pack and the Brooks Ridge pack have been pushing hard for it, and a lot of local packs seem on board. Between the challenge law and the fact that arranged matings are still technically legal, it's like living in the dark ages. And girls are the ones getting the shit end of it."
She didn't have to tell me that.
"The Brooks Ridge pack?" I asked, unsure of who they were.
Katy grinned. "Yeah. They're out on a pack run this weekend, so you'll meet them later. The Blackwater and Brooks Ridge packs have been allies for almost a century. They're based out of northern Alaska."
Larkin nudged Katy with her toe. "And you're particularly fond of them."
Katy looked at me. "My girlfriend, Maren, is part of the Brooks Ridge pack."
I blinked, somewhat shocked. "Girlfriend?"
In Long Mesa, and most surrounding packs, same sex female pairings were forbidden. With pack numbers dwindling, all females who weren't omegas were expected to mate and breed. It was considered their duty to our race and sole purpose for existing.
Katy stiffened, her eyes flaring. She arched a brow with deadly elegance. "Yes, my girlfriend. Is that a problem?" She focused her eyes on me. Even Larkin looked bothered by my surprise.
I held up my hands slowly. "No problem at all. It's just ... my old pack, it was forbidden."
Katy relaxed but huffed, still eyeing me. "So, you're from a southern pack?"
I tensed, wondering if I had given too much away.
"Most northern packs don't have an issue with gay shifters," she explained. "It's the southern packs that had made it a crime to be yourself and love who you love."
I nodded slowly. "Yeah. In my pack, being a lesbian shifter would get you killed. If you were lucky."
"If you were lucky?" Larkin repeated, horrified.
Jaw clenched, I looked out the window. "If the pack found out a female was with another female, the females were forced into a mating bond with a male of the Alpha's choosing. They weren't given a choice. Females are meant to breed, according to them."
"Fuckers," Katy swore, getting off the bed and starting to pace. "That's disgusting. These women were raped by their mate so they would have a kid?"
Swallowing hard, I nodded. I only knew of two females who had ever been forced into mating bonds for being gay, probably because all the other women had been forced to hide who they truly were. Neither story ended well.
"Did you tell my dad this?" Katy demanded. "This is exactly the shit that everyone needs to hear about at the Summit."
I hesitated for a second. "We told your dad everything that happened at our old pack."
"Good." Katy gave a firm nod. "Thank God you and your mom got out of there."
You have no idea.
12
I cocked my head to the side, not entirely sure what I was seeing on the television. "What the hell?"
Katy, Rhodes, and Remy burst out laughing. Larkin shushed us.
"No, seriously," I said, sitting up and staring at the screen. I pointed at the TV. "What is that thing?"
"It's a werewolf," Larkin huffed, reaching for the popcorn.
My jaw dropped and I made a face. "Are you kidding me? It lo
oks like an overgrown dog."
Rhodes was still cracking up. He looked up from his spot on the floor, leaning against Larkin's legs. "Face it, baby girl, you're the only one who can watch this shit with a straight face."
Larkin grumbled under her breath and fixed him with a glare. "It's a love story, Rhodes. I guess you wouldn't understand that."
Rhodes raised his brows. "Love, I get. Pick a position and we can make love happen."
Remy snorted while Larkin blushed as she quickly looked away.
I was still transfixed on the screen. "Is that seriously what they think we are?"
"I don't think there was much thinking involved in the world of sparkly vampires and overgrown doggies," Katy snarked.
I had followed the first movie okay. Vampire, girl who falls down a lot, creepy bloodsucker watching her sleep, psycho vampires and a trip to the hospital where the glittery one professed his love. Fine. Whatever.
But we were not even halfway into the sequel, and the scrawny kid from the first movie with the bad wig was now a large, not at all anatomically correct, wolf.
Katy and Rhodes were content to make fun of the movies. Remy was in an armchair near the fireplace reading. Larkin seemed completely invested, complete with wistful sighs.
I pushed up from my spot on the couch between Larkin and Katy. "I can't. I'm sorry, Larkin, but I can’t watch this anymore."
Larkin's face fell. "We can watch something else."
Katy's jaw dropped. "Don't you want to know who she picks?"
"I really don't," I said helplessly. I gestured to Remy. "He has the right idea."
Remy glanced up. "You're welcome to pick a book out of the study-"
"-Library," Rhodes corrected quickly. He gave me a serious look. "Please don't tell me you're another bookworm. I thought you were cool, Skywalker."
I shrugged. "Sorry. Total bookworm."
Rhodes groaned, dropping his head back onto Larkin's lap and nearly upending the popcorn bowl.
Remy stood up, setting his book on the side table beside the chair. "Ignore Rhodes. He wouldn't know entertainment if I slapped him in the head."
Rhodes smirked. "I know entertainment, but it's a different kind of movie."
Katy shoved him with her foot. "Don't be gross."
Rhodes turned and blinked innocently at her. "I was talking about Star Wars." He arched a brow. "What were you thinking of?"
"Behave, you two," Remy replied lightly, walking by and kicking the beta’s foot. He nodded at me, motioning to the study where we had our first conversation. I followed him into the room, this time filled with less terror and more curiosity as I let myself really look at the rows of books.
"So, you like reading?" he asked, standing back and watching as I looked through the shelves.
"I really do," I admitted. I hesitated for a beat. "In my last pack, there wasn't much to do except read. It was an escape, I guess." It seemed more than a little embarrassing to tell him reading was how I learned about almost everything about the world.
"I get that," he agreed, not bringing up my old pack, for which I was grateful. "Growing up in Blackwater, I was always surrounded by people. Books became a way for me to escape, too."
I turned, surprised. "But you're going to be the Alpha one day, right?"
He frowned, brows raising. “And that means I can't like reading?" He sighed dramatically, shoving his hands into his pockets. "If that's a rule, I guess I'm going to have to tell my pack I'm not interested in being Alpha."
"Maybe Sierra can be Alpha," I teased back before I could stop myself.
Remy rolled his eyes with a laugh. "That's a great plan. Katy can be her beta."
I couldn't help the giggle that came out of me, the sound foreign and not unpleasant. "I think I would pay to see that."
He smirked, sitting on the arm of the couch by the window. "Right? You think she's bad with Rhodes ... She would kill Sierra."
I picked a book off the shelf. "Katy told me that Sierra ... That she wants to leave Blackwater."
"Is that all she told you?" Remy folded his arms over his wide chest. My eyes dropped to his arms and the way the sleeves of his white shirt stretched around the large muscles.
I blinked, shaking my head. "She mentioned Sierra pulled some crap with you last year."
He growled softly under his breath. "Yeah."
"I'm sorry," I said suddenly.
He waved it off with a sigh. "It's fine. I knew Katy would tell you. She hates Sierra."
I swallowed, pressing my lips together. "No, I mean I'm sorry Sierra did that to you. It was wrong. No one should touch another person without their consent."
He stared at me, a muscle in his jaw jumping. I could see the questions he wanted to ask, but he was too good a guy to push me.
"Your collection is amazing," I said, changing the subject back to books as fast as I could. I held up the one that caught my attention.
"Feel free to borrow it. It's one of my favorites," he said, not missing a beat.
I let out a shaky breath and nodded, hugging the book to my chest. "Thanks."
"Anytime." He flashed me a wide smile that made my chest tighten.
It had been ages since I felt anything but terrified of guys my own age. Hell, of males period. It felt nice to be able to talk to a guy and not be worried about when the attack or the insults would come.
The fact that he was absolutely gorgeous didn't hurt either.
"Do you have everything you need for classes tomorrow?" he asked suddenly after a moment of silence.
I nodded and leaned back against the bookshelf. "Yeah. Katy and Larkin took me to get my schedule. Looks like I'm with most of you guys for classes." I smiled then. "Katy told me that you're also taking the English Lit elective?"
He nodded with a grin. "You'll like it. We just started The Great Gatsby."
"I love that book!" I blushed, realizing I sounded like a nerd.
"So you've already read it?"
"Yeah. A few summers ago. For fun."
He seemed impressed. "Then I know who to ask for help with the term paper for it."
"Sure," I replied, loving the feeling that someone might need my help for something.
"Did Katy or Larkin tell you that the pack run is the weekend after next?"
Shit.
My stomach clenched. Just for fun I reached out, trying to see what my wolf thought about the idea of a run.
I was met with complete silence.
"What's wrong?" Remy asked, not missing a damn thing.
I clutched the book tighter, ducking my head. I wished I had left my hair down instead of braiding it so I could hide behind it now.
"Skye?" he pressed, standing up.
I cleared my throat and sighed. "You're gonna figure it out eventually anyway," I murmured absently.
"Figure what out?"
"I have a problem with shifting," I admitted, the humiliation pooling low in my gut.
He looked confused. "A problem? What kind of problem?"
"The kind where I can't do it," I replied tersely. "My wolf is really freaking temperamental. The only time I can really shift is when I'm really mad or ..."
"Or?" he prompted, dark eyes fixed on me.
"Or really scared," I finished quietly, looking at the floor. Dust motes danced through the slats of sunlight from the window and French doors.
"Skye, look at me," he ordered gently.
My eyes flickered up to his, expecting to see pity or annoyance. Instead they were understanding.
The kindness made my breath hitch.
"The biggest reason this school exists is to help us get in sync with our wolves so we can be stronger members of our pack. You're not the first person to need help with that."
I scuffed the toe of my sneaker into the hardwood floor. "It's stupid, though."
I’m stupid.
"It's not stupid, and neither are you," he corrected, saying exactly what I needed to hear.
"Okay, but I still can't
shift and go with you guys unless you're planning to scare the hell out of me or really piss me off," I said with a huff.
“I’d kind of like to avoid doing either," Remy suggested wryly. "I think you need to see Elias."
"Elias?"
"Elias Samuels. He's from a pack in Maine originally, but he lives at the school now. He's one of the oldest shifters alive," Remy explained. "He's the guy to go to if your wolf is giving you issues. He spent his life studying shifters and packs across the globe."
"Elias Samuels," I repeated, unsure.
Remy shrugged. "What have you got to lose?"
I was still nodding when the door opened and Rhodes and Katy tumbled through. They glared at each other before looking at Remy and starting to speak.
"I think we should-"
"Can we-"
Remy held up a hand and they went silent. I tried not to smile.
"Katy?" he prompted, looking at his sister who turned to Rhodes and stuck out her tongue before speaking.
"We were thinking we should do a bonfire cookout tonight. The pack can come and we can all hang out. It'll give Skye a chance to get to know the others."
Rhodes grumbled under his breath, sounding something like it was his idea.
Katy glared at him. "It wasn't your idea. You said the five of us. I said the whole pack."
Rhodes snorted. "You're just hoping the Brooks Ridge pack crashes so you can see Maren."
Remy shrugged his broad shoulders and looked at me. "What do you think, Skye?"
I wasn't used to offering my opinion. Usually my opinion was the last thing on anyone's mind, but I could see Remy extending the olive branch. He knew I was nervous and was letting me have a say.
"Yeah," I finally agreed. "It sounds kinda fun."
"All right," Remy said with a grin. "Cookout it is. But we need to make a grocery store run into town. We don't have enough for everyone here."
"Let's all go," Katy said quickly. "Skye hasn't been into town yet."
"Town?" I echoed, uneasy. As in around other people? I had never been around people other than shifters, and while I knew what a grocery store was, I was never allowed inside of one.
"It's not that exciting," Rhodes drawled. "It's a few boutiques, the grocery store, a hardware store, and a diner. We go a couple times a month to get supplies for the cabin."
Sanctum (Blackwater Pack Book 1) Page 10