"Amazingly pathetic," I deadpanned, wincing as I remembered walking into the grocery store and all of my other firsts I'd had since leaving my old pack.
"Not at all," he corrected, shaking his head. "You see things that I take for granted. I could watch you looking at the mountains every day and never get tired of it. You get this intense look, like you're memorizing the image in front of you."
"They're incredible," I admitted. "The power of the mountains, the freshness of the air here." I took a deep breath, letting my lungs fill and stretch.
"This is exactly what I mean," he said after a second of silence. "The best part is you don't even know you're doing it. It's completely innocent and pure, Skye."
Innocent and pure.
Two words I never thought would describe me.
We stayed silent for a few minutes as the sun finished setting, darkness settling around us. It was nice not to feel the need to fill the silence. With Remy, I could just be.
I cleared my throat after a minute. "So, I don't think I'm all that impressed."
Blinking, Remy started to laugh. "I'm sorry?"
"I mean, I always thought there was more to dating than sitting in a car quietly," I said seriously, biting my lower lip to keep from smiling.
"Oh, you want more, huh?"
My grin turned wolfish. "I do believe you promised there would be a lot of more in the future."
His eyes went molten as his gaze heated. "More is absolutely on the agenda. But that happens after we eat."
"No more," I begged, pushing my plate away with a groan.
Remy reached for my plate, grabbing my fries. He had been picking at them for the last few minutes since finishing his own burger and fries.
I eyed the vanilla milkshake with sad eyes. "I can't finish it."
Remy laughed, popping another fry into his mouth. "Are you going to make it?"
I considered laying on the vinyl bench seat, letting my forehead rest against the sticky material until all the food in my stomach dispersed to wherever the hell my metabolism moved it to.
"I need a nap," I griped. "I'm so full. I should know better."
He snorted and took a drink of his cookies and cream milkshake. "I didn't peg you for a 'watch what you eat' kind of girl."
"What the hell does that mean?" I said up straighter in mock outrage.
He grinned at me. "You’re gorgeous."
Heat flooded my cheeks.
"But I've never seen you shy away from food at school," he went on.
I toyed with the straw in my milkshake. Over the course of the meal, Remy had shared memories of his childhood. Stories of his parents and growing up with Katy, and his younger siblings. I had never met his younger brothers, but they sounded hysterical the way he described the shenanigans the twins got into.
He told me about Blackwater, and how he and Rhodes had become friends when they were little kids. He told me about meeting Dante at his first Summit pack meeting.
The conversation had been almost completely one-sided, but he didn't seem to mind or notice. He answered all of my questions honestly and openly, which made me wish I could be the same with him.
I had added in stories about my mom and I when I could, but I kept it vague. I wanted to share more, but there was still this feeling that as soon as he knew the real me, the damaged me, Remy would run for the mountains.
And I couldn't blame him.
I took a deep breath. "In my old pack, omegas were kept in a separate house inside the compound. You know we didn’t get out much, and definitely not to the grocery store."
My stomach churned as I pictured the broken down white house at the end of the dirt lane.
Remy cocked his head, listening calmly.
"We ... We didn't get much food," I admitted, looking at the tabletop and tracing a crack in the quartz. "Mostly it was whatever the pack didn't want or wouldn’t use. Usually old food, pre-packaged stuff. Anyway, when my mom and I left, she took me to eat at this truck stop and I ate so much. I had never had food that was hot and made to eat right away. I ate so much that I threw it all up that night." I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. "So now I try not to get completely full."
"How many omegas were there in the house with you?" he asked, leaning back and resting his arm along the edge of the bench seat.
"Other than my mom and me? Two. Another female and a male." Maisie and Shane. God, I still had no idea what happened to them. If what I had done caused any blowback that they paid the price for.
Mom hadn’t involved them in our escape to protect them, but I knew my uncle was vindictive enough to punish them anyway.
Remy’s chest moved up and down as he breathed, but that was the only movements he made as he watched me closely. "Did they leave with you?"
I swallowed hard around the lump in the throat. "No," I whispered. "They're still there, as far as I know."
He frowned, choosing his words carefully. "Are they okay there?"
"I have no idea," I replied, sadness and regret lacing my tone. "We left and ... it's safer if we don't make contact with them."
"Safer?" His brows slammed together, his expression fierce.
"We didn't leave under the best of circumstances," I said, my voice pitched low. I sighed deeply. "We-"
"Can I get you anything else?"
The sudden appearance of our waitress made me jump.
Remy gave her a curt nod. "We're good. Just the check, thanks."
She smiled at us both and headed back for the bar, her dark ponytail swishing across her back as she walked away.
I looked around, remembering we were currently in a diner packed with normals. It seemed like this was the place to be on a Saturday night in the town of Granite Peak. Almost every table was full.
Probably not the best venue to pour my heart out.
The waitress came back. She handed the check to Remy with a big smile, barely noticing me. She looked a few years older than us, and she had been blatantly staring at Remy almost every time she came over.
Jealousy had flared in me at first, my wolf ready to rip her throat out when her hand touched Remy's when she passed him a menu. But the more she came over, the more Remy seemed annoyed by her.
When she leaned over to show him the specials, he made a face and slid away from her. The move wasn't subtle at all, and I actually started laughing as the waitress straightened up and hurried away.
She had hid in the kitchen for a solid ten minutes before coming back to take our order, and Remy hadn't ordered the special.
"Thanks," he said, barely glanced at her as he pulled out his wallet.
Uncertainty tugged at me as I tried to see the check. I reached for my purse, not entirely sure of dating etiquette. I still had most of the cash that Zoe had somehow slipped into my purse before I left. I still planned on returning it when I went back to Blackwater for Thanksgiving, but I could use some of it and figure out a way to repay her later.
Maybe pick up some shifts at the café.
Remy dropped several bills on top of the check and looked at me. "Ready to go?"
I frowned. "How much-"
Rolling his eyes, he slid off the bench and got to his feet. He reached over and pulled me up. "I got it."
"Um, thanks?" I offered hesitantly.
A laugh rumbled in his chest. He rested his forehead to mine for a second. "You really are something else."
I let him lead me out of the diner and back to the SUV. Once again, he opened my door and settled me in the seat before going around the front and getting behind the wheel. He slid the key into the ignition and the vehicle roared to life, the heater blowing lukewarm air across us.
He paused, his hand on the gear stick. "Can we go somewhere and talk?" He rubbed his thumb absently against the steering wheel, his eyes dark as he looked at me. "I'm not ready for this date to be over yet."
I nodded slowly, smiling to myself as he put the SUV in gear and pulled out of the parking spot.
28
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nbsp; The world was completely silent when Remy turned off the engine. The headlights cut off, plunging us into inky darkness. The dirt road we had been driving down dead ended at a cliff. Remy parked us near the edge, and I watched the sky, absolutely transfixed by the wonder in front of me.
The sky was a riot of lime greens and milky whites. The light dipped and swayed across the sky, touching stars before slipping away. Tinges of pink and purple hugged the outer edges, the colors moving in a seamless, sensual dance through the galaxy.
"Oh, my God," I breathed. I leaned forward in my seat, jaw open as I watched the northern lights play out in front of us.
"Pretty amazing, right?" Remy asked, his tone almost reverent. "You can see them sometimes in Blackwater, but nothing like here. Dante says they're even better in Alaska, though."
"How can this possibly get better?" I murmured, awe struck by the beauty in front of me. The colors twisted and writhed to the sounds of a song I couldn't hear.
"This is one of my favorite spots," he admitted after a beat of silence. "I come out here when I need to think or process something."
I leaned back in my seat to look at him, the view of Remy's face in the shadows of moonlight was just as breathtaking as the riot of colors dancing in the sky. His jaw was set in a hard line, a weariness around his eyes that I had noticed earlier when he was talking to Dante.
"The missing wolves?" I prompted, wanting to ease his burden.
He exhaled through his nose, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. "Yeah. It started out as lone wolves and drifters going missing a couple weeks ago. Now pack members are starting to turn up missing. All female."
"You think someone is taking them?" I asked quietly, horrified at the idea. "But why?"
He let out a frustrated growl. "Who the hell knows? Especially now. Everyone knows that women are needed now more than ever."
"The declining birth rate," I muttered, knowing all too well the general need of women didn't actually extend far beyond their uterus and reproductive organs.
"It's making the packs testy," he said bitterly. "Some packs are talking about setting up stronger border patrols and not allowing anyone to pass through."
"This is happening all over?" I asked, frowning. Based on what mom had told me and I overheard earlier from Remy, I had assumed it was just Blackwater.
He nodded. "A lot of northern packs are noticing it, especially the more urban populated ones. Twelve missing shifters across the northern packs might not seem like much, but when they're all females..."
"And there's no clue what happened to them?"
He shook his head again before leaning back and dropping it against the headrest. His Adam's apple worked as he swallowed, the tendons and lines of his throat moving in tandem. "It just doesn't make sense. But we need to figure out what the hell is going on, fast."
I reached out across the cab of the truck, finding his hand with mine. "You will."
He returned a weak smile. "I hope so. I might have to go back home for a little while to help my dad and the pack sort stuff out."
My stomach clenched uncomfortably at the idea of him being miles and miles away. I cleared my throat. "Who would watch out for us at GPA if you're gone?"
"Rhodes," he answered easily. "He's my beta, and despite the fact that he acts like an idiot sometimes, he's the most loyal guy I know. He might act stupid, but he's one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. He would keep everyone safe."
"How long would you be gone for?"
His eyes cut to me, his expression unreadable. "A week. Maybe more."
Inside my chest, my wolf was pitching a fit. She wasn't happy with this news any more than I was.
"You could come with me," he suggested softly.
I jerked my gaze to his, expecting to see he was teasing, but Remy was completely serious.
He glanced down at where I still held his hand. "I mean, you could come with me if you want to."
I closed my eyes on a sigh, shaking my head slowly with a wry chuckle. "Am I really going to be that girl?"
"That girl?" he echoed, confusion lacing his voice.
I looked at him with a grimace. "Yeah. The girl who's clingy and can't let her boyfriend out of her sight-"
"Boyfriend?" he cut in. A small smirk started to pull at the corner of his mouth. His dark eyes warmed considerably, the air in the cab of the SUV heating.
I opened my mouth, moving my lips as no sound came out. Why had I used that word? It just sort of came out, but it felt right leaving my lips.
I cleared my throat. "I didn't mean-"
Remy reached across the darkness and pressed his finger to my lips. "It's fine. I liked it when you said that."
I blushed under his scrutiny, squirming on the seat. This moment felt too intense, too intimate. I was entirely too aware of the way my breathing had become ragged and the way I could feel the pulse in the fingertip pressed against my lips.
His fingertip moved from my lips, tracing down the line of my throat. "I don't like the idea of being away from you, either."
"Really?" I breathed, my voice barely a whisper.
He tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear. "Really. I know it's only been a day, barely, but the idea of you being so far away is like hell. With all this shit going on, you're the only thing that makes sense right now."
I leaned my palm against his hand, coming up to cover his wrist with my hand. I couldn't even circle my fingers around his arm. Every part of him radiated power, even his wrists, thick with muscles and tendons that I felt flexing under my touch.
"Will it always be like this?" I asked softly, still trying to wrap my head around the multitude of emotions coursing through my body. "This constant need to always be near each other?"
He smiled wryly. "According to my parents, yes."
My eyes rounded. "You told your parents about this? About us?"
He nodded slowly, trying to gauge if that upset me or not. "I had a feeling they might be able to give me some insight into this."
"Oh," I replied, kind of dumbstruck.
"You didn't tell your mom?" He posed the question casually, but there was a note of something else there. Uncertainty, maybe?
"I didn't," I answered. I looked away, back to the riot of colors in the sky. "I don't even know what to say. I mean, I barely understand it. And I know my mom - she'll worry."
Remy hesitated. "Because of me?"
My gaze snapped to him. "No!" I said vehemently. "Not because of you at all. Because of me. Because she risked everything to save me a couple weeks ago. In the span of a month, my life has completely changed. I know she's worried about me. We've never been apart for more than a few hours until I came to Granite Peak. She always tried her best to protect me, and I don't want her to worry."
I hadn't realized I started crying until Remy was wiping a stray tear away with the pad of his thumb.
"You said omegas were kept separate from other pack members," he started slowly. "You had your own house?"
I snorted and pulled away from him. "A house. Yeah, if you could call it that. It was this old building that was basically falling down."
"You lived there your whole life?" he frowned, turning in his seat to full face me. "Why didn't the pack help take care of it?"
"Because the omega house and shifters in it were only worth one thing to the pack," I muttered bitterly.
Remy waited, staying still and quiet as he let me process my emotions. He wouldn't push me to reveal more than I was ready to, but I was getting tired of keeping the Long Mesa pack's dirty secrets.
"The upper pack members would come to the house," I said, my voice low and wooden. I stared straight ahead. I might be able to share part of my life with Remy, but I couldn't do it while I looked at him.
I couldn't see the inevitable looks of pity and disgust.
"I didn't understand what was going on for the longest time. My mom did a good job of shielding me from everything. I didn't understand the noises I heard behin
d closed doors when I was playing in the hallway. Or the smells when the doors opened. I didn't ... I didn't understand why the omegas were always so afraid when there was a knock on the front door. I didn't understand why the sheets always had blood on them."
I heard Remy suck in a sharp breath.
"I came home from school early one day," I continued, my mind transporting me back to that day when I learned the truth. "I was ten, I think. The heat was so bad, and the air conditioner was broken again, so they let us out at lunch time."
I dropped my head back onto the headrest, letting my eyes slide closed as I relived one of the worst moments of my life.
"I could hear these ... noises as soon as I got to the second floor. The house wasn't that big, only three bedrooms on the top floor. My mom and I shared the room at the back of the house. I had left my book in there and wanted to get it. I figured I could finish my book before I worked on homework."
Hot tears slipped out from under my lids, rolling slowly down my cheeks. My skin felt like ice, the heat from my tears scalding streams down the slope of my face.
I drew in a shaky breath and clenched my hands into fists on my lap. "I didn't knock, I just opened the door. It took a minute. I didn't understand exactly what was going on. My mom was on the bed, on her back. She was crying. And this ... man was on top of her. They were both naked. I still didn't get what was happening until my mom yelled or something. Whatever he was doing was hurting her. I just ... reacted. I threw my backpack at him."
Swallowing, I remembered the absolute fear in my body at that moment. Fear, and rage. "He turned and saw me in the doorway. My mom yelled at me to leave, but he backhanded her and told her to shut up. He got off the bed and grabbed me by the arm. It was so ... surreal. I knew my arm hurt, but all I could notice was that this guy was naked and how gross it was."
Squeezing my eyes shut tighter, I tried to control the sudden shaking of my body. "He threw me into the hallway. Literally picked me up by my arm and threw me across the hall. Then he slammed the door and locked it. I could hear my mom crying, sometimes screaming. I kept banging on the door for what felt like hours. Finally, it went quiet. The door opened and the man came out ... and he smiled at me. Fucking smiled. Then he walked by me like nothing happened."
Sanctum (Blackwater Pack Book 1) Page 24