by S. C. Wilson
Jesse felt Abby’s hand on her back. It was the first time she had touched her since she had pulled away from her the night before, and the electricity she felt flowing into her body from the simple touch told her the answer to her next question before she asked it. “So, what do you all think? Do you like it?” she asked.
Abby looked up at her. Jim was running his tiny fingers through Jesse’s hair giving her a windblown look. “This place really is pretty,” Abby said. She took a deep breath, not knowing until that moment just how much she missed the country air.
Jesse, hair stuck up in all directions, turned to face Toby and Aponi. “I know we don’t have the money to build anything fancy. But look at those trees. We could harvest the wood and use it to build you two a cabin. Would you like to live here?”
“It’s like home,” Aponi said, tears pooling in her eyes.
Jesse turned back toward Abby. “Someday I’m going to build you the home of your dreams. Don’t you like the idea of raising our children in a place like this? I can teach them to hunt, fish—”
Abby held up her hand. “Breathe,” she said. “You already have me sold. You did good buying this place.”
Aponi reached out and took hold of Toby’s hand. “I wish we didn’t have to go back to San Francisco. I want to stay here.” Tears spilled, and she hurried to wipe them away.
Jesse got the sense there was more behind Aponi’s emotions. She too loved the property but it didn’t bring tears to her eyes. She chalked it up to pregnancy mood swings, as she knew all about those first hand. “You and Toby can start building now if you want,” she said. “I won’t be able to help much because I have a job to finish for Sam. But, I can come out on the weekends and do what I can.”
Abby took hold of Aponi’s hand. “I’ll come too,” she said eagerly.
Jesse was moved by Abby’s willingness to help. It was one of the many reasons she loved her so much. “See? We’ll have you a home built in no time. So, what do you think?”
“But I have a job w-working for Mr. Tid—”
“You don’t need to work for him,” Jesse said, interrupting. “You just get your home built. That’s more important right now.”
“But wh-what about money? I have a family to support.”
“We’ll worry ‘bout that later. Right now, I think it’s important to focus on getting a home built. You have a baby on the way.”
Unable to contain her emotions, Aponi began to sob in an unusual outpouring that alarmed everyone.
Toby took her face in his hands and used his thumbs to brush away her tears. “Are you all right?”
“I’m sorry,” Aponi said, voice breaking. She stared into his eyes trying to muster the courage. “I’m so sorry. I lost the baby early this morning.”
Toby pulled her close and held tight to his trembling wife. “You have nothing to be sorry for. We can try again if you wa-want.”
The news was devastating to him, but he didn’t want to add to her heartbreak. She had enough of her own. He shifted the conversation. “Let’s build a new life here. We can live off th-the land just like we used to. The woods will provide everything we need,” he said pointing to the trees behind them. “We just have to hunt for it. So, wh-what do you think?”
Aponi sniffled. She palmed away her tears and nodded her agreement.
Abby handed Gwen to Jesse and wrapped her arms around Aponi. Jesse, managing both kids, watched as Toby quickly wiped away his own tears before Aponi could see them. Her heart broke for her brother. She couldn’t imagine what she would have done if Abby would have lost the twins. It was too unbearable to fathom.
Jesse had learned from Frieda the best way to help someone cope with loss was to keep them busy so they wouldn’t have time to dwell on their sorrow. She hoped focusing all their attention on building a new home would do just that for the grieving couple.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Christmas, 1865
“Jes, wake up,” Abby said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I want to show you something.”
Jesse rolled over, yawned, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She yawned again and leaned up on an elbow.
Abby handed her a piece of folded newspaper. “I want us to start our own family traditions. This was printed in the paper a few weeks ago. I love it, and thought maybe you could read it to the children.”
Jesse rested her head in Abby’s lap and took the piece of paper. Unfolding it, she read the poem titled, A Visit from St. Nicholas.
Abby brushed Jesse’s bangs aside and lightly ran her fingertips across her forehead. “I know it’s make believe and all, but the kids don’t. I know they’re too young to understand now, but I like the idea of them growing up believing in something magical. So, what do you think?”
“What kid wouldn’t like believing in a man who brings them presents for no reason?” Jesse said, tilting her head back to look at Abby. “I know I would’ve. I love the idea of starting traditions with you and them.”
“C’mon,” Abby said, her blue eyes dancing. “Get dressed.”
Jesse tossed back the bedcovers and rolled out of bed. As she dressed, she watched Abby pulling wrapped packages from underneath the bed.
“It’s fun playing Santa,” Abby said, her face flushed with delight. “Hurry up so we can take ‘em downstairs before everyone gets up.”
Abby’s enjoyment was contagious. Jesse was now excited and hurried to finish dressing, fumbling the last button on her shirt as she rushed.
They carried the gifts downstairs and placed them on the floor in front of the sofa. Abby said, “Now, let’s go get everyone up.”
Soon, the entire McGinnis clan was gathered in the parlor. Abby said, “Look, Santa came last night.” She handed Toby and Aponi each a gift. “You two go first,” she said. She picked Gwen up and took a seat next to Jesse and Jim on the sofa.
Jesse couldn’t help but notice Abby’s joy as she intently watched Toby and Aponi pull the ribbons and tear away the fancy wrapping paper.
Jesse chuckled at Toby’s expression when he opened his gift. It wasn’t surprising. He reacted the same way she imagined most men would to a plaid flannel shirt.
Even though Abby had been excited for Toby to open his present, it was clear it was Aponi’s reaction she seemed to be waiting for more anxiously. She bit her lip as Aponi pulled out her gift. “Well, do you like it?” Abby asked, the words gushing out.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, holding up the new dress under her chin. “Thank you.”
Abby’s blonde lashes blinked over sapphire eyes. “Don’t thank me. It was Santa Claus.” Shifting on the sofa, she turned to face Jesse and Jim. “We’re going to have to help them. You two go first.”
Balancing Jim in her lap, Jesse helped him rip open the paper on his present. Inside was a colorful red, yellow, and blue wooden toy top. She put him down and gave the top a good spin, sending it skipping across the wood floorboards, skittering out of his reach. He quickly crawled off after it, laughing and cooing in his pursuit.
On the sofa, Gwen, sitting on Abby’s lap, tore at the paper on her present without much need of assistance. She giggled as she yanked her new doll up by its arm.
“Jes, come here,” Abby said, patting the cushion next to her.
Nearby, Jim had scooped up the top and was biting on the handle to ease his teething pain. Jesse took it from him and gave it another good spin, grimacing when she grabbed the drool covered handle, before heading over to the sofa.
“No peeking,” Abby said, placing her hand over Jesse’s eyes.
When they were confident she couldn’t see, Toby slipped out of the room.
Moments later, Jesse felt something being placed in her lap.
“All right,” Abby said, lowering her hand. “You can open your eyes now.”
The gift wasn’t wrapped. It was a rifle, the exact model and year as the one she had traded to Black Turtle. The second she saw it, something inside of her broke loose. With her heart
in her throat, she made no effort to hold back her tears. She couldn’t have even if she wanted to.
“I kn-know it’s not Frieda’s,” Toby said, “but I hope you like it.”
Jesse used the palms of her hands to wipe away her tears. “How,” she asked, her voice shaking. “Where did you get it?” She ran her fingers along the wooden butt of the gun.
“Abby helped. I think she went to every gun st-st-store in San Francisco to help me find one.”
“I don’t know what to—there aren’t words to say how much this means to me. Thank you.” She glanced at the smiling faces staring back at her, realizing she had become the center of attention. In an effort to get the focus off of her, she looked at Abby with a gasp. “I’m sorry, Abs. I didn’t get you anything.”
“Of course you did! Look around you. All of us are here together sharing this day. What more could I possibly want?” Abby said, happy tears pooling.
“Now do you think I would really forget about you?” Jesse asked, rolling her eyes. “I’ll be right back,” she said, springing up from the sofa.
Jesse hurried through the kitchen, slipped on a pair of boots, and headed outside to the barn. Inside her workshop, she reached under the far end of her workbench and pulled out the present she had hidden behind some scraps of wood. Back inside, she kicked off her boots and headed to the parlor, anxious to see if she could replicate the same kind of response with her gift.
Abby sat with her hands clasped together, drumming her foot against the floor. Although the appearance of the package looked more like something the twins had wrapped, she chose to ignore it, focusing instead on what was inside. All types of things ran through her mind: a sterling-silver brush with matching mirror, a jeweled hairpin, perfume, or maybe a pearl necklace. Based on the weight of the box, she knew it couldn’t be any of those items. She was stumped.
“Open it already,” Jesse said, anxious to see her reaction.
Abby ripped open the paper, peered inside the box, and sat with her mouth falling open.
Jesse asked, “Well. Do you like it?”
“Uh…well…is it what I think it is?”
Jesse reached over and pulled it from the box. “This is going to make your life so much easier.” She pointed to the small fuel tank attached to the back of the iron. “See, you put kerosene in there. No more waiting for one to heat on the stove,” she said with a satisfied smile as she placed it back on Abby’s lap.
Toby chuckled under his breath. He didn’t know a lot about women, but even he knew an iron wasn’t the gift most wives fancied.
Abby stared at the modern apparatus, which was supposed to simplify her life. “Thank you,” she said. “How thoughtful.”
“You’re welcome.” Although Abby was smiling, Jesse could tell by her tone the gift was a disappointment.
Abby placed the iron on the floor at her feet and patted Jesse’s leg. “Well,” she said, standing. “I need to get started on dinner. It isn’t going to cook itself.”
Jesse reached up and took hold of Abby’s hand, gently guiding her back to the sofa. “You’ve done enough.” She leaned in to kiss Abby’s cheek. “I’ll take care of dinner.” It was the least she could do.
The Christmas of 1865 started a McGinnis family tradition which continued from that day on with Jesse taking charge of the holiday meal. A day of relaxation surrounded by her family, rather than one spent standing over a hot stove, was the best gift Abby received each year.
What began as a seed of hope had already taken root now that construction was well underway on Toby and Aponi’s log home. After speaking to the owner of the local sawmill in Neva, Jesse had managed to hire three capable men to work alongside her brother. She too wanted more than anything to be out in the country, working beside them as trees were harvested from the property and transformed into a home. She knew the feeling of creating something with your own hands. There was nothing more gratifying. Unfortunately, financial obligations kept her tethered to the city.
Taking advantage of the hired help and having plenty of natural resources on the property, Jesse and Abby opted to start construction on a small log home for themselves as well. It wasn’t going to be anything lavish, just a modest one-bedroom cabin not much different than the one back atop Mount Perish. It would be their weekend retreat, a place to get away from the hustle of city life and spend quality time together.
Ever since the construction had begun, mornings inside the home on Taylor Street had turned chaotic. Gone were the days when everyone had time to sit around the table enjoying a relaxing cup of coffee together. Now, they were spent in a mad rush as everyone scrambled with preparations to get on with the day’s agenda. Having one-year-old twins only fueled the morning mayhem. After scarfing down a quick bite together, they scattered, rushing to get on with the day’s routine. Jesse and Toby would go over the inventory in the wagon, loading any tools or other materials that were needed out in Neva. Inside, Abby hurried to tend to the twins while Aponi hastily tossed together a basket of food for them and their workers.
Once the women and children were settled in the back of the wagon, Jesse said her last-minute goodbyes. Toby took the opportunity to check over his supplies one final time. The hour and a half wagon ride was too long of a commute to turn around and come back for something he had forgotten.
Throughout the week, Jesse followed them out into the street as they pulled away. She stood and waved, her hand as heavy as lead as she watched her family head off to the countryside without her. Once they were out of sight, it was off to work for her as well.
Over time, she had transferred all the tools from the Bowmans’ carriage house into an area of her own barn, which had been converted into a workshop. When she wasn’t working on one of the more intricate pieces of wood in her shop, she was over at Sam’s learning the process of erecting the framework of the staircase, courtesy of Mr. Tidwell.
Even though she enjoyed working for herself, she hated the solitude. Throughout the day she caught herself talking aloud to Buck as she worked, reminding her of those isolating winter days on the mountain. By days end, her feet were buried in shavings, her heart smothered in loneliness.
As the hours turned into days and then to weeks, the wood Jesse fashioned with her blades took shape. Her vision was coming to life. Although she was pleased with the way it was turning out, nothing filled the void of being separated from her family. Being apart from her children was a pain like no other. All day long she looked forward to seeing them return safely. As soon as they got home she loved all over her babies, listening to Abby, Toby, and Aponi fill her in on the day’s events.
Leaving Jesse in the mornings wasn’t easy on Abby either. Still, she found herself looking forward to working on their land. With the wagon parked under the shade of a large oak, the boxed-in bed was perfect for keeping the twins corralled and out of harms way. Once she had them down for a nap, she spent the time being useful: sawing, sanding, or cooking over an open fire. She did whatever she could to contribute.
No matter how busy Jesse was she always made sure to stop whatever she was doing to get supper on, knowing everyone would be exhausted by the time they got home, especially Toby. She knew it would have been easier on all of them to camp out on the property, but he was adamant about making the long commute back and forth every weekday. If it was only him, he would have stayed, but he felt the women deserved to sleep in a warm bed. And moreover, he knew it wouldn’t be fair to his sister. He was fully aware of how hard it was on her to be separated from her children and the sacrifices she made. Watching her dote over the twins when they got home made it all worth it.
Weekends became Jesse’s favorite. Every Saturday morning she would make the trip with her family and was able to see first hand the progress being made. Every week she was amazed by the changes being wrought. She spent the entire day working alongside the others until they lost the light, then they would settle by a fire and sleep out under the stars or shelter together under a ca
nvas-tarp tent on rainy nights. At dawn, Jesse and Toby would sneak off while the others were still sound asleep hoping to pull a few trout from the river before the trip back to San Francisco later that day. Then, in a flash of an eye it was Monday again, and it was back to the same long weekly routine.
As the walls of the cabins were going up, the ones surrounding Aponi were crumbling down. Being in the country seemed to open something in her the others feared had closed off for good after the loss of her baby. It was obvious to all the woman found her solace in nature. When she wasn’t working on the log structures, she was foraging in the woods. Much to her surprise, she discovered many plants with medicinal properties like the ones on the mountain. She soon came to realize the ground beneath her feet wasn’t much different than where she had grown up—it was home.
Chapter Twenty-Five
July 4th, 1866
Jesse stood in front of the dresser and lifted her chin, allowing Abby to straighten her tie.
Abby tugged the black fabric a little side to side. “There,” she said. “Perfect.”
Jesse fastened the three buttons on her embroidered, silk, maroon vest. “I can’t believe how much you spent on this. You know what we could have bought with that much money?” she asked, looking down at the cuffs of her pressed white shirt as Jim used the pant leg of her black cotton-twill trousers to pull himself up.
“I know it was expensive,” Abby said, “but try to think of it as an investment. You want to look the part, don’t you?”
“I know, I know.” She looked at the cuffs on her shirt. “There aren’t any buttons,” she said, quirking an eyebrow.
Abby smiled at her. She went to the dresser and pulled a box from the top drawer. “Just a little something I picked up for you. I hope you like it.”