Diary of One Who Disappeared

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Diary of One Who Disappeared Page 5

by Jason Erik Lundberg


  When our time was up at last, she passed over my clothes and shopping bag, and squeezed back into her minidress. At the door, she gave me a lingering hug and a final peck on the lips before bidding me goodbye and sending me back down the hall. Every inch of me tingled with endorphins. I went back through the velvet drape to the lobby and paid the mamasan, my stash of Dioms considerably lighter. She thanked me and invited me to return; I said a polite goodbye and stepped outside. Night had fallen by that point, but thankfully a steady stream of taxis rolled slowly down the street, ready to ferry satisfied customers back out of Cahaya Merah to the real world. I flagged one down, gave him the name of my hotel, then closed my eyes and leaned back against the seat, smiling.

  Wednesday, October 17

  My marriage is over. My job is over. Oh, what a difference a day makes!

  This morning, we received our answer from the Tinhau government, via the hotel’s front desk: Madam Elisha Quek—the Minister for Arts and Culture, and Special Diplomatic Liaison for the Cultural Affairs Sector (two titles for one person!)—was intrigued by our proposal, but needed a concrete plan for our bilateral ties, and a statement, in specific pragmatic terms, of what exactly the NAU could do for The Republic of Tinhau. All of this had, in fact, been clearly laid out in the report and action plan I’d prepared, but it would be up to Ailene to even use it.

  I wondered whether the Minister and EVC Quek were related, or whether “Quek” was a common surname in Tinhau.

  Around 3pm, Wong Kee met us once more in the hotel lobby, and escorted us again via taxi to the glass pyramid of the Ministry of Stability. Ailene surprised me by bringing along the prepared dossier, clutching it tightly to her chest like a life preserver. She looked well and truly nervous, maybe after chewing over her mistakes for all of the previous day. It’s also possible that O’Brien, acting on my missive reporting her diplomatic gaffes, had put the proper fear of God into her over email. Whatever the case, she was quiet and introspective from the hotel all the way down to our meeting room in the bowels of the building.

  This time we were brought to a conference room with a long wooden table. Seated at one end was the Minister, who looked to be in her early sixties, nattily dressed, posture rigidly straight. On the Minister’s right sat EVC Aya Quek, and on the left a young Indian man hunched over a small mechanical device on his lap, like the kind court reporters use.

  Madam Elisha Quek greeted us in a British accent, and said that her daughter (Aya, in fact) had brought her up to speed on the proposal to re-establish ties between Tinhau and the North American Union. Ailene nodded her head and agreed; she placed the dossier on the table and opened the cover, getting ready to launch into her prepared pitch, but the Minister put out a hand to stay her.

  “Before we get to all that,” she said, “I would like to talk to you about the current status of the swees in your country.”

  Ailene sat back, clearly not expecting this, even though it was the centrepiece of my research. “I’m sorry, what?” she said.

  “The number of children around the world who have been born with swee abilities has drastically diminished in the last twenty-five years,” the Minister continued, “but in our country, they still make up about ten per cent of the population, and are accorded every right and privilege of any other citizen. I am appalled, then, at the reports of swee men and women still living in internment camps in the NAU, indefinitely detained for the crime of being born. Camps in abominable, squalid conditions.”

  Ailene stammered, saying that she was aware of the situation, that the entire country had been assured by our leaders that these people were dangerous and needed to be contained, that it was very likely that the imprisoned swees were the ones who had controlled the Range a quarter-century ago and directed its devastating attacks. She also didn’t see how this was relevant to the day’s talks.

  “We are here to try and understand each other, yes? It bothers me that NAU citizens are treated like refugees and criminals in their own country, just because they have abilities that set them apart. Prisoners in their own homeland, forbidden to breed upon pain of death, completely dependent on their own hostile government. Agent Noonan, you can surely imagine how hesitant we are to enter into a close relationship with a government that enacts policies in direct violation of our own, and which might create situations in which the rights of Tinhau citizens could be infringed upon.”

  The colour had been steadily rising in Ailene’s face. “The swees are an abomination!” she blurted out. “Their very existence is an affront to the Lord. They are a mistake, and we should have cleansed them from the land rather than just isolated and contained them. I am not going to apologise for the actions of my government, especially when it was far more merciful than those animals deserve!”

  The young man taking the minutes gasped and looked up at the Minister, horrified. Minister Quek took several breaths, then calmly turned to her daughter, who was staring daggers at Ailene, and said, “Aya, show them.”

  I still find it difficult to describe what happened next. I’ve seen many things that would be considered improbable or miraculous, but this shook me deeply, even while it fascinated me. As I watched, the younger Ms Quek changed. Her face seemed to melt like wax and rearrange itself. Ailene inhaled loudly and recoiled into her seat, and I grabbed the arms of my chair in surprise. When the shifting had finished, Ms Quek exactly resembled Ailene, even down to the freckles near the corner of her mouth; she then smiled with Ailene’s face, and her nose lengthened and extended until it dangled in front of her mouth. She drew a long breath, straightened her trunk and blasted out a loud trumpeting call just like an elephant. The sound startled a laugh out of me, but Ailene fell out of her chair, scrambled for the door, flung it open and launched herself through the corridor outside, screaming in terror. After the sounds faded, I turned back to our hosts; Ms Aya Quek appeared once again like herself, and was grinning like a satisfied cat, looking quite pleased to have got the reaction she’d intended. The transcriptionist seemed to want to crawl inside his own navel and hide.

  Minister Quek looked hard at me and said, “Are you going to run too?”

  I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart, and said no. That I was startled, but not scared. That I’d never had anything against swees (mostly true), and I was so sorry Ailene had reacted so badly. I silently wondered if the Minister and the young man also had abilities, and if so, what they could possibly be. My hands trembled, but I kept them under the conference table.

  Minister Quek waved her hand at the apology, like swatting away a fly. “It was evident that your superior is a bigoted, narrow-minded fundamentalist, just the type of person who is holding back your country right now.” She chuckled to herself. “You know, if you had met with the Ministry of Defence instead, Agent Noonan would have got along famously with Minister Yeo; a hard-line bastard that one, who briefly took control of the country after the Irruption last time. Not all of the Tinhau government is as tolerant or enlightened as MinStab, but they’re outnumbered enough that they have to play along to keep their jobs.

  “Anyway!” She tapped at the dossier Ailene had left behind. “Since I’m now speaking to the person who might be able to move this dialogue forward, where do we go from here?”

  I seriously considered her question. The public aim of the mission was to discover how Tinhau had managed to thrive over so many years of worldwide instability, and to bring this info back to help reconstruct the NAU, but the secondary goal was to aid O’Brien’s cause of swee reintegration. However, it was clear that, even were MinStab to ignore Ailene’s outburst and form an alliance to influence public opinion back home, Ailene and enough DESD drones like her would find ways to block or even torpedo the effort before the proposal could find traction.

  I relayed this reasoning to Minister Quek, ending by saying that Tinhau is not the country that needs this alliance, and apologising for wasting her time. She continued her firm gaze, most likely assessing whether I was being
authentic or if this was just another political move. Her daughter watched me too, but her look was softer.

  Finally, the Minister said, “I appreciate your honesty, young man. I’m sorry that you had to travel all this way just to return home empty-handed.”

  The Minister was right. Thanks to Ailene’s bigoted reactions, any hope of my promotion was gone. And I knew that she would try to spin things her way upon our return to New York, make it look like I was the incompetent one, that I’d fucked up the research, that it was all my fault.

  I was quiet for several moments as this sank in, and Ms Quek whispered something that made her mother smile.

  “Am I right in presuming that you might lose your job because of this?” the Minister asked.

  I nodded.

  “I’m very sorry to hear that,” she said and opened the dossier, flipped through the contents carefully in silence. She lingered over some pages and skipped past others. “You seem to have a facility with details, with analysing patterns and making sense of them. This is a good skill to have.” She closed the binder. “If you indeed find yourself out of work, I could use someone like you, to fill in a lot of our own gaps. There may be occasion for dealing with the Americans again in the future, and you could also act as a cultural liaison. You’d be working closely with Aya, and would report directly to me.”

  I couldn’t believe my ears. A job offer? I told her that I didn’t want to sound ungrateful for such an opportunity, but that I’d need to think it over.

  “Okay lah, you take some time and decide. But do let us know soon; Aya can push the paperwork through, but we’ll need to clear everything through the Ministry of Labour, and that can take a while.”

  Ms Quek escorted me back up to ground level, and shook my hand. Her grip was solid, her palm soft; I liked the feeling of her hand in mine. She said that she hoped everything would work out. Wong Kee was waiting outside, and he ferried me back to the hotel. The whole way, my mind raced with possibilities. But instead of panic, what I felt was relief. Upheaval for sure, but a necessary one. Tinhau is such a vibrant place, filled with optimism and kindness instead of cynicism and despair, and someplace I wouldn’t mind staying for a while.

  The taxi arrived at the hotel, and the front desk informed me that Ailene had already checked out and called for a taxi to take her back to the aerodrome. Into the arms of that cuckolding bastard.

  I’m going to let her stew in the Zior for the next few days while I make up my mind, although I think I already have.

  ENCRYPTED DISPATCH

  #73F5ACBF2A17D397C4F43B1921

  Sent: Wed, 17 Oct, 3.14pm

  Rick,

  My biggest fear came true. Ailene botched the negotiations and has ruined our chances of a NAU–Tinhau alliance. The question of our indef camps was foremost on Minister Quek’s mind, and Ailene just lost it, echoing President Jarret’s demonisation of swees as animals during his campaign. When EVC Aya Quek revealed herself as a swee, and a shape-changer at that, Ailene fled the building and raced back to the Zior.

  I am so sorry about all of this. Even though Ailene basically took over everything and is solely to blame here, I still feel like I failed you. I should have been able to manage her, or at least diffuse the situation into something where everyone would benefit. It’s all gone to shit.

  Which is why I have decided to stay.

  I know this is sudden, but hear me out. First of all, if I return to New York, there will be an official inquiry, and Ailene will throw me under the bus, which will very likely cost me my job, no matter how much you might intervene on my behalf. However, you know that she’s been gunning for your own job for a while now, and she might use your connection to the mission to force you to step down. And that is just something I’m not willing to let happen. You are too important, and your influence too vital. This gambit failed, but you’ll find other ways to reintegrate the NAU’s swees.

  If I stay away, the blame stays on me, and it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

  The second reason is that my marriage is over. You know that Ailene and I have been having troubles for some time, but I caught her in flagrante in the arms of another man. She wants to have the marriage annulled, but I need to be physically present for that to proceed; otherwise she’ll have to wait three years before the paperwork can go through, three years in which I, as the spouse of a Grade Five DESD agent, am still eligible for unemployment benefits based on her station. Which I know will steam her to no end. A small act of rebellion, but it feels good.

  I’ll never forget what you’ve taught me, and will try in my own way to continue your undertaking on swee rights. Hopefully this goodbye will not be forever, but for now I just want to say that I am honoured to have been your mentee these past ten years, and hope to make you proud of whatever I do next.

  Lucas

  FROM THE PAPER JOURNAL OF LL

  Thursday, October 18

  It’s around 10.30am, and I’ve just woken to a firm knock on the door. It was the manager of the hotel: my room is only covered for one more day by the DESD (today), and I’ll need to check out by noon tomorrow. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. The day my new life begins.

  PRIORITY COMMUNIQUÉ

  To DESD Director Richard O’Brien

  For Your Eyes Only

  Monday, October 21

  Dear Director O’Brien,

  I deeply regret to inform you that the mission has failed. As relayed before, Agent Noonan was unable to overcome her personal shortcomings, and it has led to the breakdown of our diplomatic talks with Tinhau. It is an incredible shame, as I feel the NAU would have benefited greatly from the alliance. This is a sad day for our holy empire.

  I must also regretfully announce that I have decided not to come back to New York, and am quitting my post, effective immediately. My resignation is attached. I’ve informed the captain of the NAUS Zior via proxy that I will not be returning to the ship. The blame for the tragic farce that this mission became clearly rests on Agent Noonan’s shoulders, but it has cemented the notion that any chance of my advancement within the DESD is now a faint possibility. I will never transcend my current station so long as Agent Noonan is my superior, and I therefore no longer wish to remain in it.

  I wish you and the DESD the Lord’s favour for the future.

  Sincerely,

  Former DESD Agent Grade Three Lucas Lehrer

  To Joseph Lehrer, NAUAF, Ret.

  Monday, October 21

  Dear Dad,

  Please note the new email address. The old one will likely be inactive as of tomorrow.

  I have some news. Because of Ailene’s idiocy, our mission in Tinhau went completely to shit, and now I’m effectively out of a job. So rather than wait for the proverbial hammer to come smashing down, I sent in my resignation.

  I also caught her with another man, the captain of the airship that brought us here. As I mentioned before, our marriage has been rocky, but this act has destroyed any hope of putting it back together. She is a toxic person, and I’m done with her.

  It’s really hard to say this, but I’m going to be staying in Tinhau for a while. I’ve already been offered a liaison job with the government here, and I’ve decided that I’m going to take it. Everything seems to be so positive here: people are contented and have enough to eat, and the government actually seems to take care of them. It’s a good place to be right now.

  Ailene will probably throw away or destroy my stuff at home, but I don’t think I’ll miss any of it too much. I’ve been living light for the past few years; plus, I still have my good clothes, my journal, my æ-reader, my passport and my health.

  However, this means that I’ll be on the other side of the world from you, at a time when I was hoping we could reconnect. There are also all kinds of things I know that I’ll miss: my favourite foods, clothing made for my body type, the American accent, etc. And since Tinhau is basically on the equator, I’ll be experiencing tropical summer pretty much all year long, so add th
e changing of the seasons to the list.

  You and I have had our arguments, but I’ve regretted not having you in my life. My stay here might be short-lived, I don’t know, but for right now, it unfortunately looks like we’ll be as far apart as two people can physically be on this planet.

  I hope you can understand why, and that this was not a decision made lightly.

  Please write back soon.

  Love,

  Luke

  To Joseph Lehrer, NAUAF, Ret.

  Wednesday, October 23

  Dear Dad,

  Thanks so much for your reply. I’m very glad to hear that you’re doing all right, and even more glad that you’re okay with my decision to stay in Tinhau. I’ve felt so isolated for so long that, even though you’re on the other side of the world, it really does my heart good to have the support of a loved one.

  To answer your question, the DESD only covered my hotel room up through last Thursday, so on Friday, at the recommendation of the concierge, I relocated to a youth hostel just a couple of subway stops away. It’s cramped and shabby, but at least it’s clean and the wireless node is free, and hopefully I won’t be here for much longer.

  I start my new job at MinStab (what the locals call the Ministry of Stability) on Monday. I don’t know yet what exactly it entails, but I imagine I’ll be doing a lot of research reports, just like at the DESD. I’m looking forward to it. Until then, I plan on exploring the city a bit to try to get a more street-level impression of the place. I’ll also be looking for a furnished apartment; I’m growing weary of the endless parade of vapid young people staying at this hostel. More soon.

  Love,

  Luke

  FROM THE PAPER JOURNAL OF LL

  Monday, October 29

  I’m sitting at the kitchen table of my new rental apartment, after having just worked the first day at my new job, and I feel like I can breathe again. And write again. My new place is a furnished flat at a complex in the neighbourhood of Telok Merah, near Repose Bay. Mostly a residential area, but the proximity to the Tehtarik River means there are plenty of places to eat and drink nearby, as well as a dock for the ferry service that travels up through the Axial Business District, where the Ministry of Stability is located.

 

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