by M A Comley
“Tomorrow, although he wanted to see me sooner than that.”
“Wow! I’d say he was pretty bowled over by you, if he’s that keen.” She smiled. “I’m thrilled for you. I don’t know your background as we’ve never discussed it, but I’ve always got the impression that something bad happened in your past.” She raised a hand, preventing Lucy from speaking. “I’m not asking you to divulge any secrets. All I want is for you to promise me that you won’t allow whatever went on in days gone by to hinder your future with this ‘perfect man’. What say you?”
“Thank you, I’m going to do my best. I’m hoping my past allows me to enjoy my future without any unforeseen hassle.”
“Good girl. We’ve all been hurt, in one way or another, usually by a man. You’re such a sweetheart, I hate the thought of you turning into a bitter old spinster.”
“Bloody hell, tell it how it is, Shirley. And for the record, I’ve never considered myself a flipping spinster, bitter or otherwise. I’m what’s commonly known as an SWF, a Single White Female. Although, after seeing the film with the same name last week I think I should alter that. Scared the crap out of me.” She smirked.
“I haven’t seen it. I’ll look it up.”
“You might find it a little dated. I think it’s around thirty years old now, and the connotations would be different for you than they were for me.”
“How come?” Shirley sipped her drink.
“Because you have another half and aren’t single.”
“Oh, I get you, silly me. Back to you and this young man. Where are you going on this date?”
“On a picnic at one of those adventure parks. He appears to be into outdoor activities from what I can tell.”
Shirley screwed her lip up. “Not my idea of a good day out. How do you feel about it?”
“I thought the same at first, now I’m quite looking forward to it. Which reminds me, I need to make a shopping list for picnic supplies. I thought I’d pop out at lunchtime to grab them, if that’s all right?”
“You’re nuts! What you get up to in your lunch hour is entirely up to you. Have you tried M&S’s pork pies? I used to live on them for my sins around twenty years ago, but I must admit, one hasn’t passed my lips in a while.”
“No, I haven’t. I’m quite partial to a pork pie. Do you think Matthew would appreciate me getting one?”
“I’d say it’s better than turning up with a bunch of sandwiches. More inventive, shall we say. Have a look at the selection they’ve got.”
“Aren’t M&S supposed to be expensive? I’m on a limited budget, remember.”
“I don’t think so, not these days. Too much competition for them to keep their prices high.”
“I’ll have a quick look. Right, what’s next on the agenda today? Do you want me to start chasing up the leads we received from last week?”
“There’s no rush, this afternoon will do.”
They chatted over their coffee and then got down to work. A few potential customers came in to collect some brochures, and Lucy dealt with a lady who wanted to book an all-inclusive holiday to the Dominican Republic, somewhere she was longing to go, but feared she’d never be able to afford the flight, let alone the accommodation and spending money that would need to accompany such an extravagant adventure.
That evening, Lucy drifted home exhausted. Her trip to M&S at lunchtime had resulted in a haul which took up space in three carrier bags. Had she gone over the top? She laughed at the thought. Her plans for the rest of the day would consist of preparing some of the food, easing it for the next morning. Matthew had told her he would pick her up from Trisha’s at ten, therefore, she wouldn’t have much time to prepare things in the morning, what with getting herself ready thrown into the mix as well.
By the time nine o’clock came around, all the food was back in the fridge, ready to go. She was pleased with her accomplishment and decided to have a long soak in the bath. She relaxed in the steaming water, no music on, and only a few flickering candles to keep her company, and her rubber duck, of course. She was totally chilled, her eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the water and the luxury of being neck-deep in lavender bubbles.
A noise sounded outside, something she couldn’t place. Was it a cat searching the bins? She doubted it, it would be the first time. Unable to distinguish what the noise was, she emptied the water, quickly dried herself and ran downstairs, her thoughts running wild, wondering if she’d locked the back door or not.
She peered out of the kitchen window and saw the bin lying on its side. She let out a relieved sigh. “It can wait until the morning. I’ll be buggered if I’m going to catch my death going out there in this wind.” She ran back upstairs again, threw on her PJs and dressing gown, then returned to the kitchen to collect a glass of wine from the bottle she’d treated herself to during her shopping adventure. No, she couldn’t really afford it, but her finances were looking much brighter now that she’d agreed to move in with Trisha. Which reminded her, she needed to ring the landlord first thing to give him notice.
The thought of moving filled her with dread, having collected a handful of knickknacks over the years. Maybe it was time for her to be brutal and to ditch some of her belongings rather than pack them up and clutter her room at Trisha’s. Perhaps she could pick up a few boxes from the corner shop in the morning, before she went to Trisha’s, and got started on the packing on Sunday, unless Matthew had a better idea what to do with her time.
Everything was up in the air for now, and that was where she left it. She took her glass of wine to bed and picked up her Kindle. She had just downloaded the latest romance from one of her favourite authors, Tracie Delaney. By the time eleven o’clock came around, she had swiped through half of the heart-pounding romantic thriller and felt sad that she could no longer keep her eyes open long enough to finish it. Draven was a breathtakingly superb read.
She drifted off, influenced by the book, and had a dream in which she and Matthew were in the main characters’ places. She woke up a few hours later, dripping in sweat, her heart rate going at a hundred miles an hour.
Gasping for a drink, she went downstairs and filled a glass with water. Her attention was drawn to the bin still lying on its side in the garden. After she rinsed the glass, she returned to bed and fell asleep. The alarm woke her at eight. She showered and put on a light touch of makeup, then pulled on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt she hadn’t worn for a few months. She looked a mess and regretted not having the spare funds to go out and buy a new outfit especially for today’s trip.
Laden down with the food, she filled the boot of her car and set off for Trisha’s house. She arrived with half an hour to spare. Lucy and Trisha chatted over coffee.
“Umm…can I say something?” Trisha said.
“Sure, what?”
“Your clothes, they’ve definitely seen better days, lovely.”
“Shit! Are they that bad? I thought I might get away with it, just for today.”
“Want me to see what I can find upstairs?”
“Would you?”
“Come on, we’ve got ten minutes.”
They left their drinks and raced up the stairs to satisfy their urgent mission.
“Here, black leggings. At least these have a nice shape to them and aren’t baggy on the knees.”
Lucy stripped off her lower half and stepped into them. They were a snug fit but impressively transformed the shape of her legs. “Bloody hell, is that me?”
“Damn right it is. Girl, you need to take a long hard look at what you wear. Half of it doesn’t do your figure any justice at all. Is that intentional on your part?”
Lucy stared at her through the mirror and nodded. “I’ve always felt that covering up the real me would make me feel more secure, does that make sense?”
Trisha took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Lucy. “Why haven’t you said anything all these years? My heart bleeds for what has been going through your head all this time. Sharing your
problems would’ve at least eased your anxieties, love.”
“I didn’t want to become more of a burden than I already have been, don’t be angry with me.”
“I could never be angry with you, maybe a touch annoyed, for you not having the courage to confide in me.”
“It was just me. All these years I’ve been so wrapped up in myself, unable to express what I truly feel in case…”
“In case what, Luc? Christ, he really did a number on you, didn’t he?”
Tears brimmed, and she shook her head. “Honestly, you have no idea. I kept a lot of it inside. I know now that was probably the worst thing I could’ve done, but I was too scared to voice the words. To seek help. That’s why I did it in the end.”
“Because you couldn’t stand the torment any longer?”
She inhaled a shuddering breath. “Yes. No one knows how bad it was behind closed doors…” She shook her head. “No. I won’t go there, not today. Today is all about me having some fun, not dwelling on my miserable past.”
Trisha spun her around by the shoulders and smiled. “It certainly is. This is a totally new beginning for you in lots of ways. Don’t let the past destroy the chance of any future happiness, you hear me?”
Lucy hugged her and whispered, “I love you so much. For standing by me all these years. Supporting me when I lost my parents. Well…for being you. No one could wish for a better friend in this life.”
Trisha sniffed and wiped away a tear as she took a step back. “All I’ve ever wanted is to see that gorgeous smile light up your beautiful face. It may have taken us a few years to get there, and I’m not sure what the turning point has been this year, but hey, it’s done the job and attracted a wonderful man to boot. I honestly couldn’t be any happier for you. Don’t let anything, or anyone, spoil your future happiness. If anyone tries, you send them my way, and I’ll sort them out.”
Lucy mock-saluted her. “I will. Thanks for always having my back. I can’t wait until I move in here.”
“Neither can I. See, that’s another thing. I’ve been bugging you for years to camp out in the spare room, and you’ve always thrown the suggestion back in my face without a second thought. I’m glad you’re finally seeing sense, although, I think it’s too late now.”
Lucy gasped. “What? Are you saying you’ve changed your mind?”
Trisha growled and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Numpty, no. I think it’s too late because the way things are going, I think you’ll be walking down the aisle before the year is out.”
Lucy laughed so hard at that. “You’re a scream. How can you say that? This is only our second date, idiot.”
“You ask my other friends. I’m rarely wrong where matters of the heart are concerned. I’ve predicted a number of times when their boyfriends were about to propose. As if I’m some kind of love oracle.”
“You are funny. Umm…do me a favour, don’t go mentioning it to me if your ‘oraclism’ tempts you to predict my future. You’d probably scare the shit out of me, and I’d end up doing a runner.”
“You wouldn’t. Why? You deserve any happiness coming your way, sweetie.”
“The thought of being under a man’s spell again…well, no, I don’t want to think about it.”
Trisha tutted. “Not all men are the same. If you haven’t realised that about Matthew by now, then you must have a screw loose.”
Lucy swallowed down the saliva that had suddenly filled her mouth. “He started out the same, you know that.”
“He is no longer around, and you need to set what you experienced with him aside and concentrate on the exciting future which lies ahead of you. You hear me?” Trisha wagged her finger.
Lucy attempted to bite it. “You can be such a bully at times.”
“Yep, especially when I know I’m in the right.”
“We’ll see.” She looked at her watch. “Shit! He’ll be here soon.”
Trisha crossed the room and peered out of the window. “Correction, he’s already here.”
“Okay, will I do now?” Lucy asked. Her arms open wide, she twirled on the spot.
Trisha rushed over to the chest of drawers in the corner and pulled out a lilac sweatshirt. “This is perfect for you, what do you think?”
“Can I?” Lucy removed her own top and replaced it with the lilac one. “I love it. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Not at all. Now, shoo, your chariot awaits. Hang on, you might want to run a comb through your hair first.”
Lucy was in full panic mode now. She ran downstairs and searched her handbag for her comb. “Damn, it’s not in here. Where the hell did I put it?”
Again, Trisha came to her rescue. “Here, take mine. I don’t think I have nits.”
“Thanks, what would I…?”
“Do without me? Yeah, I know. Now, go, have a blast. I’ll be expecting to hear all about it this evening.”
“Thanks for everything, Trisha.” She hugged her friend and collected the carrier bags from the kitchen.
Trisha held the door open as Matthew was getting out of the car.
“Thank God he didn’t show up in that limo. I think I would’ve died if he had,” Lucy mumbled.
“I wouldn’t have. I’d be revelling in it. You need to get your priorities sorted out, love.”
“Get out of here.”
Matthew joined them, leaned forward to kiss her gently on the cheek and nodded hello to Trisha, then he relieved her of the bags. “Umm…I did make it clear that we were only going for the day, didn’t I?”
Lucy bowed her head. “Sorry. If it’s too much, I’m sure the birds will enjoy what’s left of it.”
“Come on, I want you to meet someone.”
Lucy turned to face Trisha, her panic heightening.
Trisha patted her on the hand. “Go, you’ll have a fab day.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” she blurted out.
It was Matthew’s turn to look horrified. He cleared his throat and set a smile in place. “You’d be more than welcome.”
“No, you go off and enjoy yourselves. I have chores to do around here, ready for when someone moves in.” Trisha grinned at Lucy.
“You’re moving in?” Matthew asked.
“I am.”
“Cool. Are you ready? I’ll take two bags if you can carry the other one.”
“Done deal. See you later, Trisha,” she called over her shoulder.
She helped Matthew load the bags into the boot of the four-by-four, and then he opened the back door for her to climb in. Sitting in the front seat was another man. Her nerves racked up. She hadn’t got used to being alone with Matthew yet, so how was she supposed to react in this situation, with another stranger to get used to, and so soon?
“This is my brother, Jake.”
Jake swivelled in his seat to face her and held out a hand, his eyes boring into hers as she shook it.
“And you must be the luscious Lucy who has stolen my brother’s heart.”
“I am. Although I’m not sure about stealing your brother’s heart, not after one date,” she said sheepishly.
“Stop teasing her, Jake. Leave the girl alone. She’s brought enough food to feed a regiment.”
“Good. Mum always said that you can tell what kind of wife a girl will make by the dinner she supplies after the first date.”
Lucy listened to the conversation between the two brothers but didn’t have the courage to answer either of them, not that any of the questions so far had been directed at her. Having someone else in the car with them had somewhat changed the dynamics of their relationship. Lucy no longer felt at ease. If anything, she was teetering on the edge of hysteria, which was so unlike her, and she couldn’t help but wonder why.
Instead of relaxing back into her seat, once her seatbelt was fixed into place, she sat forward, straining on it. What is wrong with you?
The drive took twenty minutes or thereabouts, and in that time she listened to the two men talking about subjec
ts she knew nothing about, nor wanted to learn about either. Topics to do with their work that was so far over her head. Now and again, Matthew glanced up in the rear-view mirror. Every time she saw that, she smiled, but inside she was crying out to be set free from the vehicle.
The overwhelming feeling of being confined in a tight space was blowing her mind, making her reel. She inhaled and exhaled a few steadying breaths, which disappointingly did little to help.
“Matthew, sorry, can you pull over?”
Matthew frowned and stared at her through the oblong mirror. “Are you all right, Lucy?”
“No, I need some fresh air.”
“Can’t you wind down your window? We’re almost there now.”
She pressed the button in the door, eased the window down a few inches and sucked in great big gulps of cool air. The sensation initially burnt her lungs but appeared to have the desired effect in the end, as her anxiety decreased, at least to a reasonable level.
Jake peered over his shoulder, and she caught his odd expression. She found it hard to decipher, unsure whether he was concerned or annoyed.
“We’re here. How are you holding up in the back?” Matthew asked.
Lucy smiled weakly. “I’m fine now. Sorry.”
“No need to apologise. I should’ve asked if you were all right sitting in the rear of a car. I know some people get travel sick.”
“Oh no, it wasn’t…” She paused. Her anxiety attack had nothing to do with where she’d sat. How the heck could she explain her irrational fears to him, though, when she had trouble figuring it out herself? She was determined not to let her emotions get the better of her and tried to bury them deep within. She succeeded, too, for at least fifteen minutes, until they reached the zip wire and Matthew insisted she ride it alongside him.
“I’d rather watch you, Matthew, if it’s all the same to you.”
“Not scared, are you, Lucy?” Jake enquired.
“Truthfully, yes, I’m petrified. I’ve never been great with heights.”
Matthew took her hand in his and kissed it. “You’ll be with me. I would never let any harm come to you. Trust me.”
She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, aware how foolish she was coming across, but as hard as she tried, she couldn’t kick the feeling of dread surging through her. He bent down and kissed her lips. It was the first time he’d kissed her properly since their first date, and she hoped it would give her the confidence to trust him. It didn’t. Her legs shook uncontrollably as well as her hands. In the end, the safety guy unhitched her harness and instructed her to leave the platform.