by C. Lymari
I didn’t think, and I called my mother. I needed to leave, and right now, anything was better than facing Gavin and Gigi after witnessing such an intimate moment where my heart finally understood Gavin was Gigi’s, and he would never be mine.
“My selfishness caused so much pain,” I whispered as I buried my face and cried.
God, it was all my fault; my parents were dead. If I had sucked it up and accepted that Gigi and Gavin were together, that he was hers, my parents would still be alive.
“You have been blaming yourself this whole time.” My therapist’s eyes were sad. “Accepting that Gavin and Gigi were in a relationship wouldn’t have changed the outcome. It’s not your fault, Scarlett. Life is unpredictable that way. Accidents aren’t planned, nor predicted. That’s why they’re called accidents; they take you by surprise, turning your world upside down. We could drive ourselves crazy asking why, but that won’t do us any good. It was a horrible thing that happened to you and your parents, and that marked you, Scarlett, but don’t let it define you.”
I absently nodded while I wiped tears from my eyes, feeling drained.
“We made good progress today, Scarlett. I’m proud of you.” She got up and walked me to the door, giving my shoulder a squeeze.
I walked out of the therapist’s office, feeling like I could sleep for a month straight.
When I left, I didn’t drive to my place right away. Instead, I found myself parking by a jogging trail. Picking a secluded section, I leaned against a tree, just taking in everything that happened. I sat there for an hour, maybe two.
“Not kidnapper Gavin, coming through.”
If I had the energy, I might have laughed.
As much as I didn’t want to look at him, I couldn’t help it. Sometimes it felt like he was the sun and I was the moon, but we would never meet. Our mistakes bore witness to the endless gravitational pull. He was in a black sports T-shirt, still in his cleats. He looked bigger than life right now. This was no longer the boy I remembered. He was foreign to me, like a new breed. He was all male, and I was still fucked-up-in-the-head Scarlett.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him.
“You’ve been crying,” he replied as he slowly sat down in front of me. “Why were you crying?”
“I’m okay.” I tilted my head up and closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see him. I stayed with my eyes closed until Gavin shook me.
“Come on, sleepyhead, it’s getting dark.”
His voice was right there, vibrating through me, his heartbeat in my ear. I opened my eyes and met the cloth of Gavin’s shirt.
Slowly, I turned my head up to look at him. His silver eyes slayed me. He wasn’t looking at me like I was crazy for falling asleep. His eyes were soft, and when he smiled at me, I almost cried.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, too groggy to think about the how or why properly.
“Told you I was going to be your friend,” he responded.
“Why?”
“We’re Scar and Gav, just like we’ve always been.” He looked deep into my eyes, and after today’s talk, I didn’t want to do any more insightful talking.
“How did you find me?” I asked, relishing the feeling of being in his arms.
“Isaac was jogging, saw you looking sad, and called me.”
“Why?” I whispered.
“Because I care about you.” He brought his face down, and I closed my eyes. He kissed my forehead. “Come on, time to go home.”
I made a move to get up, putting pressure on his chest, and he groaned.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” He sounded in pain.
Maybe it wasn’t wise, but I added pressure again, and he winced.
“You’re hurt.” I sat straddling him while softly touching his chest.
“Bruised a rib or two,” he replied.
The air seemed to crackle with energy and got a little harder to breathe, but I wanted to make him feel better.
I didn’t know what compelled me to do what I did, but I bent my head and kissed each side of his ribs. “I’m sorry you’re in pain.”
“Scar.” His voice got gruff.
I looked at him, realizing he was getting hard underneath me.
“You just made the pain all worth it.”
When I went to jump up, I was so nervous that I touched his ribs again, and he winced.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he groaned as he got up.
“Will you be okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Will you?” He looked at me with longing and hope.
“I’m okay,” I said. When I didn’t notice his Camaro, I asked, “How did you get here?”
“Drew dropped me off. Isaac is taking me home.” That’s when he pointed at where Isaac was parked.
“Doesn’t he have a life?”
“Not until next year,” Gavin said nonchalantly.
“That’s not nice.”
“Scar, I promise he has it better than most,” he said.
I believed him because Isaac turned to wave at me with a smile on his face. When we were in the middle of both cars, I was sad to see him go.
“Umm, I should go,” I said, feeling shy all of a sudden.
“Scar.” Gavin’s face lost what little playfulness he had.
“Yeah?”
“Shit’s about to get complicated with football. Promise me you’ll bear with me?” He seemed to hold his breath as if that cost him to say it.
You want me, Scar, and that scares you.
“Gav,” I answered instead. When he nodded, I kept going. “I’m working some things out, but…but I’d like it if you had patience with me too.”
He let out a relieved breath and gave me a small smile.
“Now run away, Scar, while I still let you.”
I smiled at him, and his smile dropped completely, which made me wonder if I did something wrong.
“Swear to God, Scar, I’m going to spend the rest of my life making you smile.”
I bit my lip to keep from smiling more because I felt so unlike myself at this moment, but it didn’t scare me. I didn’t know what we were doing, but there was also no one I trusted more than Gavin.
Twenty
The progress I had made at therapy and with Gavin seemed to have helped me on a much deeper level than I would have thought possible. On Monday, I woke up with more energy; the thought of getting up didn’t seem like a chore, but something I was starting to look forward to.
The days were getting a little bit chillier, but not by much, and I was feeling better than I had in a long time. I went to the back of my closet where I had a dress I had liked but never felt good enough to wear. It was a long-sleeve gray cotton dress that came up to my mid-thigh, and I paired it with white tennis shoes. I looked in my dresser mirror, added some mousse and tousled my hair a bit, and applied some gloss on my lips. It was the most dressed up I had gotten on my own without Audrey or Delia doing my makeup. I couldn’t remember when the last time was that I’d tried to do more for myself.
It felt good.
I grabbed my bag and walked out where Delia and Kenia were in the kitchen. I hadn’t spent time with Kenny since I’d found out about her sleeping with Gavin.
“Whoa, look at you.” Delia whistled.
Kenny smiled at me. “You look pretty.”
It kind of took me aback because I expected her to be catty.
“Hey,” I said, unsure of what to do. “Where’s Audrey?”
“She didn’t come home last night.” Kenny grinned as she went to drink her orange juice.
“Oh, she’s boning someone for sure,” Delia added.
It seemed like we all were having sex or had had sex recently, which brought me back to the fact that Kenny had slept with Gavin. My Gavin. Then I shook my head because I couldn’t get mad since I’d slept with him when he was Gigi’s Gavin.
“We’re okay, right?” I looked at Kenny, probably making things pretty awkward.
<
br /> “Girl, if I stopped talking to girls who have fucked with the same guys I had, I’d have no friends. I liked Gavin, but he never promised me anything; it was just sex. Hell, he never made anyone promises, and there’s talk that he has called a lot of girls the wrong name during sex. So as long as Gigi doesn’t have him, we are okay.”
Okay, that right there made me feel so much better.
“Thank you,” I whispered, knowing I sounded lame as hell because it wasn’t like I needed her permission or anything. “I’m going to get going.”
Once I had my stuff ready, I stopped dead when I left out of my front door. Gavin’s white Camaro was parked horizontally, blocking our driveway. He was leaning against the passenger side, snacking on a can of sour cream Pringles.
I got all giddy inside at the sight of him. He made jeans and a T-shirt look like high fashion.
“Hey,” I said as I came down the driveway.
Gavin didn’t smile at me. He just looked at me, his gaze lingering on my breasts and legs, making me feel hot in a way I wasn’t used to.
“You are killing me right now,” he said in a gruff tone.
“How are your ribs?”
“Better,” he replied, straightening himself and taking a step toward me.
I bit my lip as I looked up at him.
“You look gorgeous, Scar, and it’s killing me right now that you don’t know you’re mine.”
I opened my mouth with his admission. What did I say to that?
“You said you’d give me time?” I tried.
Gavin played with a tendril of my hair before he answered. “Honestly, it feels like my whole life I’ve been waiting.”
“Gav,” I whispered.
He brought his head down and rested it on top of mine.
“One of these days, Scar, you are going to wake up knowing you’re mine, and when that day happens, that’s it, babe…”
He didn’t finish his sentence; instead, he pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“Come on, let’s go, or you’re going to be late to class,” he said.
“I have my own car.” I pointed to said car that was in the driveway.
“I have an away game this weekend, practices, and group projects—unless you don’t want to see me until next week, then fine, go in your car.”
And because I was weak where Gavin Dunn was concerned, I got in his damn car. Before I sat down, he handed me the can of Pringles.
“You can wipe that smug smile off your face,” I said between bites of Pringles.
Gavin’s eyes went soft and that made me feel funny on the inside too.
“You’re getting there,” he said softly.
“Getting where?”
“You’re not there yet, but soon.”
“I kinda have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said even though my stomach was in all kinds of knots at the moment.
“It will all make sense eventually.”
Right.
When we got to school, I didn’t know what I expected him to do, but wrapping me in his arms and pressing my body against his was not what I had in mind. I still had my hands free to keep eating my chips, but still.
“Um, Gav…”
“This way, no one can kidnap you,” he said.
“It’s daylight,” I told him.
“No one can stare at your ass this way.”
My mouth dropped open.
“Unless you want my tongue down your throat, close your mouth, Scarlett.”
Too stunned to say anything—but really my brain turned to mush—I let him walk us to my first class. We had to stop several times as guys approached to greet him. I felt a little self-conscious when girls openly glared at me.
“Don’t you two look cozy?” Ollie came up and started to walk next to us. “I wondered where my ride had gone off to this morning, and with my chips.”
I chewed slowly, then turned my head up to look at Gavin.
“You gave me someone else’s chips?”
“Those are your favorite,” he replied.
I turned to Ollie and offered him some. “He’ll buy you a new can.”
Ollie didn’t have time to answer before a pretty raven-haired girl was standing in front of us and glaring at me.
“Wow, you’re really going to do this to Gigi?” she spat at Gavin.
At her words, I felt my knees buckle a little. For a moment I actually forgot all about her. But my guilt over my choices that affected her life didn’t matter. It was just me and what I wanted.
Gavin’s arms around me got tighter.
She then turned her gaze at me. “I know who you are. You’re the little slut who came between them. You’re the reason—”
“You aren’t welcome at the house anymore,” Gavin barked.
The girl’s face paled.
“Ollie, get Selena out of my face,” Gavin demanded, and then he moved us out of the way, pressing me into the wall, his hand coming to my chin and forcing me to look up at him.
“Don’t let that selfish bitch take more from you than she already has,” Gavin said.
“She was my best friend, Gav.”
“It was a long time ago, Scar.”
I looked at him, at the boy I had a crush on, and the pain I’d buried deep in the back of my mind resurfaced. He had picked her over me time and time again.
“In my mind, we never left,” I told him before I pushed him off me and left to class.
Gavin
When Scarlett pushed me away, I let her. My hands were shaking, and I wanted to punch something or someone, but hell if I’d risk my career over my rage. Everything felt as it was slipping right through my fingers. My heart had stopped beating as Selena spoke. That meant Gigi had told whoever would listen that she had lost my child.
Fuck.
The thought killed me because that was my burden—that was my kid—and she’d found a way to turn it into a pawn in this selfish game she’d been playing. God, if Scarlett knew, she’d never forgive herself, nor me.
“Texted Drew. The boys won’t be happy. She’s always down for a good time, but they won’t let her in the house.”
“I owe them,” I told Ollie.
He clapped my back, and we both walked into class, where Scarlett had picked a seat at the front. The class was too packed now for me to sit with her. Ollie snorted and looked at Scar, then at me.
“You sure she’s worth all of this?”
“I’ve been in love with her since I was twelve years old,” I confessed aloud for the first time. I left to take a seat by the aisle. That way, I could get a hold of Scarlett once class ended.
As soon as the professor dismissed us, I rushed out the door so that I could grab her there. Fuck me—my stomach dropped when I saw tears in her eyes.
“Scar,” I pleaded for her to talk to me.
“I have to go to my next class.”
I felt like I was losing everything before it fully belonged to me, and I knew I couldn’t let that happen. Not when I was running out of time.
“What are you doing?” Scarlett hissed when I picked her up and hauled her over my shoulder.
“I’m kidnapping you,” I told her as I made my way to the parking lot.
I was not about to lose all my progress with Scar for one jealous bitch. She was my endgame, and I needed her to open her eyes and see how good we were together. It should have been her and me from the start—my perfect puzzle piece.
Twenty-One
I woke up happy this morning, full of hope, and life came back to remind me of the wrongs I’d done.
“Gavin, let me go,” I hissed as I hit his back.
“That’s all I’ve done my whole life, Scar. I’m changing things up,” he replied without pausing or breaking his stride.
Once we were next to his car, he went to the driver’s door, opened it, and motioned for me to go in.
“You want me to drive your car?” I screeched.
“It’s stick, and you never learned how to driv
e stick,” he said matter-of-factly.
“I could have,” I said defensively. “What am I supposed to do? Sit on you while you drive us?”
“You sit on my lap, Scar, and all I’d want to do is fuck some sense into you.”
I gaped at him—not to mention, I felt a tingle between my legs. I think I was so used to doing wrong things with Gav, they were starting to seem right.
“Go to the passenger seat, Scar,” Gavin sighed.
And because we were making a scene and people were looking at us, I did it. And because I was mad at him, and at myself, I figured another wrong thing couldn’t hurt. So instead of doing things the right way, I kneeled in and heard Gavin groan as I crawled over.
“Fuck me. If I wasn’t right behind you, someone could have seen your ass,” Gavin barked at me. He was in my space, buckling me in and pulling off fast.
“You should have let me use my door,” I said to him when he didn’t say anything.
I turned my head, using my hair as a shield to see his jaw set and his fingers holding on to the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white.
“I was scared that by the time I got to my seat, you would have run the other way,” he said.
“So instead, you manhandled me?”
“Do you trust me, Scar?” he asked instead.
I looked out the window. “I want to.”
Gavin didn’t speak, and neither did I. I figured he was taking us to his place or mine, maybe even back to the park, but I sat up straighter when I saw him driving toward the highway.
“Where are we going?”
“Not that far,” was his response.
I laid my head on the window as if that was going to give me space from Gav. I hadn’t seen much of Gigi. It was almost like I could pretend out of sight out of mind, but she was right there, and she would always be. Even if Gavin didn’t want to admit it, he chose her over me.
I closed my eyes and waited for whatever was going to happen next. It was safe to say I could fall asleep anywhere or anytime. I was a nap queen. I jerked awake when I heard Gavin order food. It took me a second to realize we were in one of my favorite fast-food chains.
I knew I was in no position to demand a mint chocolate chip shake, but we’d been driving for I didn’t know how long, and I was hungry now.