I remember when the three of us were inseparable. We went everywhere together, did everything together. After I was attacked in the park when I was a little girl, Titan didn't mind that I followed him and Cade around like a lost puppy. He didn't go anywhere I wasn't invited. Neither of them did. They kept me close. I loved each second of it. No one bothered me, no one tried to hurt me. They knew they'd have to go through Cade and Titan to get to me, and no one was brave enough to risk facing their wrath.
I wish I'd been stronger back then. I wouldn't have let them make me the center of their worlds. Maybe things would be different now if I hadn't. Maybe seeing Cade again wouldn't hurt like hell. Maybe Titan would still be here.
Maybe I wouldn't hate myself so much I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror.
Maybe we'd all be free.
"I heard a rumor," Mariah Dupree announces, plopping her curvy ass down on the corner of my desk.
I peer up at her through bleary eyes and wait for her to fill me in. Mariah's a bit of a drama queen when it comes to gossip, but I love her anyway. She's the only thing that keeps me sane most days. She's been my best friend since the sixth grade. We went to the same college, teach at the same elementary school, and do everything together.
"Michael Kincaid is back in town," she says, watching my face like a hawk. With her black hair up in a demure bun and her glasses perched on her nose, she looks more like a naughty librarian than a kindergarten teacher. Her ebony skin is flawless.
"Oh, that." I slide out of my chair and squeeze past her, busying myself with collecting the worksheets my students left on their desks at the end of the day. Most of them are illegible, but that's okay. School's been in session for two weeks. I don't expect perfection, especially not from a bunch of five-year-olds, most of whom have never even tried to hold a pencil before. Knowing they're trying so hard makes me happy.
"Oh, that?" Mariah repeats from behind me. "That's all you have to say?"
I shrug a shoulder and continue weaving throughout the room, picking up the worksheets and straightening desks as I go. I'm not sure what else she expects me to say. Okay, that's not true. I know exactly what she wants to hear, but I don't have the mental or emotional energy to invest in this conversation right now. The last two days have been utter hell. I've been out of it, barely holding it together.
"You saw him, didn't you?" she asks.
"He caught some kid trying to break into my house Wednesday night," I mutter.
"Goddammit, January!"
I spin to face her, shocked at how loud she is, only to find her with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. In her heels, she's a good six inches taller than I am at five-two. Her button nose is scrunched, her perfectly penciled brows furrowed.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she demands, hurt flashing in her brown eyes.
I shrug.
"Are you okay?"
"He didn't get inside." I place the worksheets on top of the desk beside me and then lean against the wall. Pushing my blonde hair out of my face, I sigh heavily. "Cade stopped him before he got that far."
"Are you okay?" she repeats, and I know she's not asking about the attempted break-in this time. She's asking about Cade. She's the only person in the world who knows our history. When he left me, she was the one who put me back together again.
Am I okay?
"Hell no," I whisper, unable or unwilling to lie to my best friend. "Seeing him hurt like hell." Seeing how little he cared hurt even worse than that. He dismissed me like I was nothing to him, walked away like he couldn't wait to be anywhere but near me. "I don't know why he's back."
"You didn't hear?" She arches a brow at me, clearly surprised.
I shake my head. I haven't heard anything about him in a while. My goal in life is to get through each day without hearing about him…without thinking about him. Pathetic, right?
She reaches into her bra and pulls out her cellphone before quickly pulling something up on the screen and holding the phone out to me. I stare at it for a minute and then curiosity gets the better of me. I grab the hot pink iPhone.
Gang leader killed by DEA agent, missing wife rescued.
"He's married?" I whisper, a wave of nausea climbing up my throat. My legs are so weak I have to grasp the edge of a desk to keep myself upright.
"Keep reading," Mariah says.
I'm not sure I want to, but I can't stop myself.
Elijah Noel, wanted by United States and Mexican authorities in connection to a string of murders, was shot and killed by Special Agent Tristan Riley of the DEA during an attempt to rescue his wife, former prima ballerina Lillian Riley, née Maddox. Authorities are advising that Noel, a known associate of cartel kingpin Pedro Francisco, kidnapped Mrs. Riley earlier this week with the assistance of Remi Pledger, a former DEA agent now wanted in connection with the crime.
Finn Bethel, Commander of the ATF's Gang Unit in Los Angeles, stated that, with the assistance of Special Agent Roman Gregory of the ATF and Special Agent Michael Kincaid of the DEA, Agent Riley was able to uncover his wife's location and swiftly made entry to rescue her. During their attempt, Elijah Noel attempted to shoot the DEA agent, and was subsequently killed in a struggle for the weapon. Remi Pledger's whereabouts are currently unknown.
Finn Bethel was also able to confirm rumors that the dangerous Vetrov drug created in Seattle, Washington has been recovered and no longer poses a threat. The powerful drug, manufactured by Elijah Noel with the help of Anton Vetrov, led to a string of hospitalizations and deaths in Seattle earlier this year. Noel disappeared with a large quantity of the drug after blowing up Anton Vetrov's nightclub with Agent Riley, Assistant Special-Agent-in-Charge Jason Ames, and Lillian Riley inside a little over four months ago.
"We're hopeful this latest development will ease some of the tension that's turned Los Angeles into a hotbed of gang activity in recent months," Agent Bethel told reporters earlier today. "With Elijah Noel's reign of terror at an end, we'll be working to heal the wounds he caused and end the violence that's torn our city apart."
"Cade really is a cop," I mutter. I ignore the overwhelming sense of relief invading each cell of my body at the confirmation that he's not married…and the pinpricks of pain stabbing at my heart over the fact that he's not here because of me. He didn't come back for me. He came back to help rescue a woman. Maybe it's terrible to feel jealous, but I feel it anyway. It hurts to know he's only here because of his job, not because he missed me or thought about me or wanted to see me.
"Yeah," Mariah says with a snort. "I hear he's a real badass too. He's been taking down gangs in Seattle for…."
"For how long?" I ask when she bites her lip and averts her gaze.
"Nine years," she whispers.
Nine years.
I sink down onto one of the desks, unable to hold myself up any longer. Cade's spent the last nine years of his life keeping other people safe from the people who ruined our lives. Is he still hurting too? Is that why he does it? Because he thinks he has to do it? Because he's punishing himself?
The possibility that he's spent nine years punishing himself for what happened cracks my heart wide open.
"He's spent the last nine years of his life trying to redeem himself," Mariah whispers to me, echoing my thoughts.
"Don't."
"January–"
"Please, don't," I plead, fighting not to cry. I blink my eyes rapidly and take a deep breath, pulling myself together. It's been a long time since I let myself cry. I'm not going to do it in the middle of my classroom. "I can't do this right now. Not here. Not today. Okay?"
"Okay," she agrees, sympathy in her voice. She takes her phone from my hands and then pulls me to my feet. "Come on, we're going to get something to eat, and then we're going to drink until you forget all about him again."
I follow her willingly, desperate to forget…though I'm not sure I've ever really been able to do that.
Chapter Four
Michael
A
ge Sixteen
"I need a favor," Titan says, dropping down onto the bleachers beside me. He reaches out and snags my book before turning it toward himself. "How the fuck do you and January read this shit?" he asks, shaking his head.
"You'd have to be able to read to understand," I tell him, holding my hand out for the book. It's Voltaire…which Titan would never understand. He's smart, but he doesn't give a shit about school or anything that isn't getting him laid. I'm not interested in girls, at least not any I plan on telling him about anytime soon. January is too young for me—only thirteen—and she's his baby sister. He'd lose his mind if he knew I've been in love with her for longer than I can remember.
Instead, I focus on my school work and on helping keep her safe. Titan and I do a pretty good job of it. Most people don't mess with us or our block. They don't even think about messing with January.
It's not enough though.
I want to make something out of myself, do something with my life that actually matters. Something that gives me a chance of getting her out of here. I don't want to be the poor little orphan boy from the wrong side of town my entire life. I want to be good enough for her someday.
Titan's only plan is to get laid as often as humanly possible.
"Touché, fucker," he says with a laugh and then tosses my book to me.
I slide a Post-It note inside to mark my place and then slip it into my bag before turning to face him. Like usual, his hair is spiked up with enough gel to embarrass most men. He doesn't give a shit what anyone else thinks though. That's why we get along so well. Neither of us cares what anyone else has to say. The only opinions that matter to me are his, January's, their mom's, and Ma Rose's.
"What do you want?" I ask him.
"I need you to walk January home today," he says.
"Already planned on it." We escort her to and from school every day. It's been that way for years. Don't know why he'd think today was any different.
"Without me," he says and grins, showing his teeth. "Mandy wants to talk."
"You're still trying to get with her?" I shake my head at him. He's been trying to hit that for years. She strings him along like a little puppy, but he just keeps going back for more. There's no point in even trying to tell him she's banging half the football team. He doesn't care. I don't think it bothers him that she's tried to get with me more than once over the years, either. I've never had any interest in her, but she keeps trying. It's ridiculous.
"What makes you think I haven't already been with her?" he asks and waggles his brows.
"Because you'd never shut the fuck up about it if you had," I mutter.
"So you'll walk January home and hang out with her until I get there?"
I push myself to my feet, trying not to let my excitement show. If he wants to deal with Mandy's drama again, that's on him. He never listens so there's no point even trying to tell him that he's an idiot. But the thought of escorting January home by myself? Of spending time alone with her? Yeah, I'm all over that.
"I've got January," I tell him, keeping my voice level.
"I owe you."
I wave him off and jog down the bleachers before cutting across the quad toward the junior high. She's in eighth grade this year. Her classes will be letting out soon. I've memorized her schedule, so I weave through the junior high campus until I make it to the English building. I'm still several doors away from her room when the final bell rings.
Kids come pouring out of their classrooms, talking loudly.
A few greet me by name. I lift my chin at them and keep walking. Everyone knows me because I'm frequently here with January, but I don't talk to any of them. She's the only person here I have any interest in.
My eyes land on her and I draw to a stop. She's got her head bent as she whispers back and forth with another girl her age, Mariah something or another. I don't remember her last name. She's with January a lot, but I never pay attention to anyone but my girl.
They're not paying attention, so I hang back and watch January for a minute. She's beautiful. Most girls go through an awkward phase, but she never did. She went from a cute little kid to a stunning young woman with hair like silk and the brightest emerald eyes I've ever seen. Her skin is golden from all the time she spends outside. She's still tiny, barely even five feet. I know she hopes she's not finished growing yet, but I kind of hope she stays like she is. She's perfect. I'm big enough to engulf her little frame. I love how she feels in my arms when she gets excited about something and hugs me.
"Yo, January," someone calls to her.
She and Mariah lift their heads at the same time as a boy I've never met starts moving toward her. He's got his backpack slung over one shoulder and a pick standing up in his hair. He's tall and lanky, maybe a year younger than I am. I don't like the way he leers at January with a cocky smirk on his face.
Mariah tugs on her sleeve and giggles as he approaches.
"Hi, Cody." January gives him a shy smile that makes my hands clench into tight fists.
"Hey, gorgeous." Cody stops in front of her and leans down, getting in her personal space. He rests an arm on the lockers above her head, which pulls his shirt up in the back, showing his boxers where his pants sag.
I grit my teeth and start in their direction, pissed he's flirting with her and she's letting him. Maybe she's too young for me, but she's also too young for him. She's only thirteen. She doesn't need to be thinking about boys or any of that bullshit.
"Some of us are going to the dance together tomorrow and then to get pizza after. You wanna come?" Cody asks her.
"Um…I'm not sure," January whispers, and I'm not sure if she's hesitating because she wants to go with him or because she doesn't want to go and is just trying to be nice.
Fuck. Does she want to go with him?
"What do you say, babe? Want to go with me?"
"January!" I bark before she can answer him.
She jerks backward, almost falling over. Her head whips in my direction and her eyes get wide. Mariah whispers something to her before darting off in the opposite direction.
I stomp toward her and Cody, annoyed he hasn't taken the hint and moved along.
"Hi, Cade," she whispers when I step up beside her to glare at Cody.
He frowns at me and draws himself up to his full height. He's tall, but I'm already six-two. I lift weights and run track. He's not even a match for me, but he's too stupid to get the point. Guess he doesn't know who I am yet. He will soon. I'll make sure of that.
"You ready to go, baby girl?" I ask her, holding his gaze as I step closer to her and sling my arm over her shoulder, making it clear she's off limits.
Cody's eyes narrow on me, but he doesn't say anything.
"I…yeah, I'm ready." January glances between the two of us and frowns like she's only just noticing the tension rippling through the air between us. "Bye, Cody."
"See you later, January," he mutters and then turns and storms off.
I drop my arm from around her and stomp away, still pissed off even though I don't have any right to be. She isn't mine. She's never been mine. I wish she was though.
When we were younger, it was different. I didn't understand what I felt toward her. I thought I just wanted to keep her safe, especially after a crazy guy attacked her in the park when she was ten. But it's not like that now. I mean, I still want to keep her safe and take care of her. But she's also the only girl I've ever thought about kissing.
"Cade?" she says from behind me, her voice worried. "Can you slow down a little?"
Shit. She's practically running to keep up with me. I slow down immediately and give her a chance to catch up. Her bag bounces on her back as we walk. I take it from her and slide it onto my shoulder with mine like I usually do. She doesn't say anything as we weave our way out of the building and then through the parking lot to the sidewalk. I think she's mad at me.
"Do you want to go to the dance with him?" I blurt out as we turn in the direction of our block. Like it, t
his part of the neighborhood is run down and depressing. The sidewalks and road are cracked and pitted. Most of the houses are falling apart.
January shrugs a shoulder and tilts her head down so her long hair hides her face. "I don't know," she whispers.
"Do you like him?"
She shrugs again, stepping around a large crack in the cement at her feet. "He's the only one who asked me to go. It was nice of him."
Well…shit. She used to get picked on a lot because she's so tiny. Most people leave her alone now, but thanks to Mandy and some of the older girls, she doesn't have many friends. Mandy's a jealous bitch. She hates that I've never paid her any attention and always preferred to hang out with January, so she makes life as miserable for my girl as she can. I hate that January doesn't have many friends because of it, but I still don't want her going anywhere with Cody.
"You shouldn't go with him," I say before I can stop myself. "You're too young to be thinking about boys and dating and all that shit. You're still just a kid."
She stops walking and gapes at me. Her eyes narrow on me and her cheeks flush pink.
Crap. She's really mad at me.
Her mouth opens and then closes a few times. I expect her to yell at me like she does at Titan. They love each other like crazy, but they fight like cats and dogs sometimes too. He usually gives her whatever she wants, but every once in a while, he puts up a fight. She's like a little soldier marching bravely into battle when he gets her wound up. She stomps her feet and growls at him. It's cute as hell. I'm pretty sure he only does it because he thinks it's funny to watch, but I'd never dare tell her that.
I expect her to let me have it like she does him, but she doesn't. She stares at me for a second and then she shakes her head like she's disappointed in me and mutters something under her breath before stomping away. I'm pretty sure she just called me the most clueless boy on the planet, but I don't know what she's talking about.
Fight for You: A Second Chance Romance (A Warrior for Her Book 1) Page 4