Seeing January with some guy hanging all over her made me see red. I'm terrified to lose her. She's the only light left in my life. She's beautiful and so fucking sweet. I worry someone else is going to swoop in and steal her from me because I'm not there for her like I should be. She deserves someone who can take her out and show her off…someone who can spend all his time with her.
I'm halfway across the city most of the time, locked away in the library, trying to make sure I pass my classes so I can give her the life she deserves without relying on the money my mom didn't want anything to do with. Most days, I just crash in my dorm instead of driving back to Ma Rose's.
What if she decides she's tired of waiting for me to get my head out of my ass? At least some guy like the douche yesterday can be there for her. They're in the same school, doing the same shit every day.
"I wish you and Ma Rose were here," I whisper, swallowing down the lump rising in my throat at the thought of losing January. "I'm not sure what you'd have to say about the situation, but I know you'd love January. You'd probably smack me in the back of the head and tell me to stop being an idiot."
"You aren't an idiot."
My eyes fly open to find January standing a few feet away, watching me. She's dressed in an oversized pink hoodie and a pair of skinny jeans with ballet slippers on her feet. Her hair is down and her bright pink fingernails match her hoodie. She offers me a sad smile, and I know she got about as much sleep as I did last night. Her eyes are still puffy from crying and dark beneath.
The sight makes me feel like an even bigger asshole.
She takes a couple of tentative steps in my direction and then stops.
"I am an idiot," I whisper to her, setting the flowers on my mom's grave and then wiping my hands on my pants. "I never should have said that shit to you yesterday, baby girl. That was fucked up."
"Why did you say it?" she asks, cocking her head to the side. She studies me intently, those bright emerald eyes flitting across my face like she genuinely wants to understand.
"I was jealous," I admit, swallowing hard. "I saw him with his arm around you, saw you laughing with him, and it made me so fucking jealous that he's there with you all the time and I'm not. You deserve someone who's there to make you that happy every day."
"He doesn't make me happy," she whispers, blinking rapidly. "He might have made me laugh, but he doesn't make me happy, Cade. You make me happy."
"I barely even see you anymore. I feel like shit because I miss you constantly."
"I miss you too." She bites her bottom lip, worry turning those green eyes a touch darker than normal. "Are you…do you regret being with me?"
"No! God no," I hurry to assure her. "I love you like crazy, January. I just feel like being with me is keeping you from living a full life. I worry that being with me is taking you away from the things you should be doing."
"Being with you is the best part of my life." She takes another couple of steps toward me and then sits directly across from me, pulling her legs up to her chest to wrap her arms around them. "I don't feel like I'm missing anything by being with you. Yeah, being away from you so much sucks, but I'm proud of you for working so hard to pass your classes." She watches me for a second. "Do you really feel like you're losing everyone?"
"You heard that?"
She nods.
"Yeah." I glance away from her, peering up at the nest of birds in the tree overhead instead. They're still running their mother ragged, taking turns popping out of the nest while she tries to push them back inside. "I've never had to face this day without Ma Rose. I guess it just hit me that I don't have many people left. Titan barely talks to me anymore. I rarely see you." I shrug a shoulder. "After my mom died, I was completely alone for a while. It wasn't long, but I thought I'd be on my own forever, then Ma Rose found me in that group home. She became my family. So did you and Titan. Now she's gone and it feels like I'm losing both of you too. I feel like I'm on my own all over again."
"Oh, Cade." January puts her hand on my leg. "You aren't alone and you aren't losing me. I love you so much. I don't regret being with you. I've never wanted anyone but you."
"I don't trust Tony," I tell her, moving my gaze back to her to find her watching me with tears in her eyes. "You might not believe it, but he wants you. That's why he was flirting so hard with you."
"I don't want him though." She gives me a small frown. "I've never cheated on you. I would never cheat on you. You don't have to trust him, but you do have to trust me, Cade. You think I've never been jealous of the girls you go to school with? You're older, sexy as hell, and crazy smart. They all want to be with you, but I've never once thought you would cheat on me. Mandy Wright wanted you so bad when we were growing up. She talked all that crap about me because she was jealous you were with me. But I never once thought you'd cheat with her."
"Mandy is a bitch," I say, annoyed by the mere mention of that girl. It pisses me off that she made January's life miserable for so long. Nothing about her appeals to me. I never had any interest in her. She's more Titan's type. God knows, the two of them have been dancing around one another since we were little.
"She is a bitch," January agrees with a little laugh. "But the point is that I trusted you even when she was hanging around you all the time. She would have dumped my brother in a second if you'd given her even a second glance, but I never doubted you. I still don't."
"I don't doubt you either," I promise her. "I was being a dick yesterday. I didn't mean what I said. I was just pissed that I missed you and he had his hands on you. I've been off all week, thinking about today."
January frowns and then crawls across the grass to me. She nestles into my side, putting my arm around her before she lays her head on my chest. "You should have told me."
"Didn't want you worrying about me, sweetheart."
"I'll always worry about you, Cade. I love you."
I press my lips to her forehead and linger there, a swell of gratitude coursing through me. Despite me being an ass yesterday, she still came here today so I didn't have to face this alone. Yeah, I love her. So damn much I can't breathe through it some days.
"I love you too, baby girl. You have no idea how much you mean to me."
"I think I do," she whispers. "I feel it too, you know. I may not be as old as you, but I feel the same thing you do."
"I won't stop you from being friends with Tony," I mumble into her skin. The last thing I want is for her to be friends with the dick, but I trust her. If she wants to be friends with him, I have to let her, even if I don't like it. That's how this shit works.
"Thank you." She cuddles close to me. "You really think your mom would have liked me?"
I pick her up and put her in my lap, turning her to face me. "I know she would have loved you," I promise her, smiling. "You remember the day we met?"
She nods.
"You were so tiny," I say. My smile grows at the memory. "You were running as fast as you could to get to Titan. Those little legs couldn't keep up. When you fell, you looked up at me with those bright green eyes and I knew my mom would have loved you. You were like a little doll. I decided that I was going to take care of you so you didn't fall down anymore. That way, you wouldn't ever have a reason to cry. I don't like it when you cry, and I knew she'd be proud of me for making sure someone as precious as you was taken care of."
January blinks, sending a tear down her cheek, which makes me grumble. She smiles and bats my hand away when I try to wipe it from her cheek.
"I thought you were a hero that day," she whispers. "You've been my hero every day since. I never met your mom, but I love her because she made you who you are. You're such an incredible person, Cade. Even when you were hurting after you lost her, you cared more about making others happy than you did about yourself. Your mom had to be as amazing as you are. I know she'd be as proud of you as I am. I bet she's watching over you right now, smiling because you turned out so perfect."
I brush my lips across hers, my he
art pulsing with emotion. She might think I'm perfect, but she's wrong. There is no one more perfect, more priceless, than she is. If letting her be friends with Tony keeps her happy, then I'll swallow my own tongue before I stop her. Whatever it takes to keep her with me.
My phone rings, blaring through the quiet library. I hurry to silence it, only to pause when I see Titan's name flashing across the screen. He hasn't called me in weeks. He didn't even call on the anniversary of my mom's death this year. I haven't heard a word from him in the two weeks since then either.
"Shh!" a chick at a table across from me hisses, glaring when my phone continues to blare across the room.
I wave her off and swipe to answer the call.
"Where are you?" Titan asks without preamble.
Wariness shoots through me at his tone.
"School. Why? What's wrong?" I'm already grabbing my shit and shoving it into my bag. Something's wrong. He wouldn't be calling me otherwise.
"You need to get home now," he demands, his voice hard.
"Titan, fucking tell me what's wrong," I snap, earning an annoyed huff from the girl sitting across from me. I shoot her a hard glare, silently telling her to mind her own business.
She jerks her gaze away from mine, muttering under her breath.
I don't spare her another thought, instead slinging my bag over my shoulder and jogging through the library. As soon as I push through the doors into the late afternoon sunshine, I head toward my car.
"It's January," he says as I run through the parking lot, my bag bouncing on my back. "Some little motherfucker at school cornered her and tried to force himself on her."
My blood freezes in my veins. My feet stop moving without my consent, nearly pitching me forward. Ice grows in my chest, fear for January overriding everything else. "Tell me she's okay," I whisper, gripping the phone so tightly my fingers scream in protest. "Please tell me he didn't hurt her."
I can't even say the word rape out loud. Just thinking it makes me feel like I'm going to lose it.
"He didn't get that far. She kneed him in the balls and he ran off," Titan says, still snarling like a pissed off animal. "She's upset, but she's okay."
"Who was it?" I start running for the car again.
"His name is Tony Black," Titan says.
"Motherfucker!"
"Quan says he's been running around with Kaleo since he moved here a couple months ago. I'm guessing Kaleo put him up to it, trying to get at the two of us."
Rage courses through me, running so hot and fast my blood no longer feels frozen. It feels like it's boiling in my veins. I'm going to find Tony and kill him. Right after I kill Kaleo for sending that little motherfucker after January.
He's been quiet the last few months, staying off our turf. I should have known he was up to something.
"Don't let her out of your sight. I'm on my way," I order Titan and then hang up the phone and shove it into my pocket. As soon as I'm in the car, I pound my fist on the steering wheel, yelling loudly. That fucker put his hands on my girl. Tried to hurt her. She's probably so scared right now.
I race through Los Angeles, weaving in and out of traffic at a high rate of speed. Thankfully, there aren't any cops in my path. I'm not sure I'd stop if they tried to pull me over right now. I'm so mad I'd refuse. I'm not stopping until January is safe.
How many times is Kaleo going to try to get to us through her? He tried with Cody once, and now this.
No more. That shit ends today. No one else will ever use her again to try to hurt me or Titan.
Thirty minutes later, I screech to a stop outside Kaleo's house. The place is a hot mess. The blue paint is faded, the windows dirty. The yard is overgrown and oil spots stain the driveway. He should be embarrassed for letting his mama live like this when he's running around in new kicks and tossing drug money all over the place.
He's sitting on the porch with Malik and a kid I don't know. He's got his feet up on the railing and a beer in his hand. He's laughing, but then his eyes come to me. He sobers instantly, worry washing through his expression.
"Kaleo!" I roar, climbing out and slamming the car door behind me.
He climbs to his feet, handing his beer to Malik. He mutters something to him and the kid and then jogs down the sidewalk toward me, his hands up like he's trying to appease me. "Kincaid, man. I didn't have anything to do with that shi–"
He's still talking when I launch myself at him.
"Oh shit!" Malik yells.
I hit Kaleo hard, knocking him to the ground. He lands on his back, his head bouncing off the cracked cement. Before he can even move, I start wailing on him like he deserves. My fist connects with his face over and over.
"You stay the fuck away from January!" I roar and hit him once more.
A tooth flies out of his mouth and blood runs down his chin. He's too stunned to fight back. No one's come after him in years. He probably doesn't even know how to defend himself without a gun in his hands.
That doesn't stop me from breaking his nose.
Malik and the kid come running down the steps toward us, their feet pounding down the cement.
"You send anyone else after her, I'll fucking kill you!" I yell and punch Kaleo in the face a final time.
"Fuck," he grunts, trying to throw me off him as blood pours down his face.
Malik and the kid grab me, dragging me off him.
I yank free of their hold, knocking the kid to the ground in the process. Malik takes one look at my face and backs up, making it clear he's not interested in getting the same treatment his boss just got. I'm so pissed, I wish him and the kid would try to jump me like Cody Love and Dante Griggs did in the park right after January turned fifteen. They wouldn't win.
"Where the fuck is he?" I ask Kaleo, breathing hard as I stare down at him. Part of me desperately wants to wrap my hands around his throat and end this shit here and now, but I keep my feet planted. Killing him will only land my ass in jail, and I can't do that until I deal with Tony and get to my girl.
"Jail," Kaleo wheezes, pushing himself up off the ground onto his hands and knees. Rage rolls through his expression, but he doesn't come after me. He knows this isn't a fight he can win. I'm twice his size and running on sheer rage. "I turned him over to LAPD an hour ago for sexual assault."
"You sent him after her."
"That shit wasn't ever part of the plan, Kincaid. He was just supposed to flirt with her a little. Get your big ass riled up," Kaleo confesses, sounding like he actually regrets that Tony took it as far as he did. He spits blood onto the ground and then climbs to his feet to face me. "I like January. She's a sweet girl."
"Send anyone else after her, I'll kill whoever you send and then come for you," I promise him, meaning every word. "You stay away from her, you hear me?"
He nods.
"He gets out of jail, you better get him the fuck out of town. If I find him, I'll kill him," I warn him and then I stomp back to my car and get in.
Kaleo, Malik, and the kid stay where they're at, watching me. Hatred rolls through Kaleo's expression, and I know I probably just made this war between us so much worse. He's going to come at me with everything he's got for kicking his ass on his own turf with his boys there to watch.
"Fuck," I roar and peel away from his house, headed toward January's.
By the time I make it there ten minutes later, I don't feel any calmer. My entire body is screaming at me to get to her and make sure she's okay. I pound up the steps and then bang on the front door.
Titan opens it without a word and points toward her bedroom.
"January!" I shout, running down the hall toward her.
Her mom is on the bed with her, but hops up as soon as she sees me in the doorway. I damn near fall to my knees when I catch sight of January. She's got a scratch across her cheek and a ring of fingerprint bruises around her upper arm. Her face is pale, her eyes rimmed in red. She's still crying, her little body shaking with the force of her cries.
Jana moves o
ut of the way, squeezing my shoulder as I rush toward my girl.
"Cade," January cries, launching herself out of the bed and into my arms.
I catch her, holding her tightly. She wraps herself around me, burying her face in my throat. Her body shakes as she sobs so hard she chokes. I sink down onto the bed with her and squeeze my eyes closed, trying not to lose it. She needs me to calm the fuck down and take care of her right now.
"It's okay," I whisper to her, rocking her back and forth in my arms. "Everything's going to be okay, baby girl. I'm right here and no one else is ever going to touch you again." Even if I have to kill every motherfucker in Kaleo's crew, I'll make sure no one else ever comes for her.
It takes her a long time to calm down. When she finally stops crying, I glance up to find that her mom and Titan have disappeared, leaving us alone. I lay her down on the bed and then stretch out beside her, sheltering her with my big body. She curls up against me, clinging like she's afraid to let me go.
"You want to talk about it?" I ask her, running my fingers through her hair.
"I thought he was my friend," she whispers, her little voice so sad. It breaks my heart for her and renews my desire to kill Tony at the same time. "He was nice to me. And then today…he said he had something for me. He pulled me into the boy's bathroom. I thought he was just joking and I told him that I had class, but then he asked me out. When I told him no, he got really mad. Said that I shouldn't be leading him on if I wasn't going to…wasn't going to fuck him."
Jesus, I want to murder him. I squeeze my eyes closed and take a deep breath.
"I told him to let me go, but he wouldn't. He grabbed my arm." She winces like she's remembering the feel of his hands on her body. "Then he tried to kiss me. He put his hand up my shirt. I tried to fight him, but he's a lot bigger than I am. When he tried to pull my shirt off, I screamed as loud as I could and then kneed him in the balls."
Fight for You: A Second Chance Romance (A Warrior for Her Book 1) Page 13