I prowl down her body and place my lips to each one, sending up a silent prayer of gratitude that she's still here with me. She twists her hands into my hair as I place kisses all across her soft stomach and then up her ribcage. My lips land on her tattoo and I brush reverent kisses there too.
"You're so goddamn strong," I remind her.
"So are…Oh God!" she cries out when I pull a nipple into my mouth and suck hard. Her hands fist in my hair as she writhes beneath me, moaning my name loudly. I want to lean back and beat my chest like Tarzan again, but I don't because that would mean releasing her nipple and that's just not going to happen.
I move from one to the other and then back again, leaving my marks all over her perfect skin as I strip her shorts and panties down her legs. As soon as they're gone, I kiss my way back down her body.
"Need to taste this little pussy before I get inside it," I mumble to her and wrap her thighs around my head. God, she smells good.
I hold her open and take one long lick. We both moan in ecstasy. Swear to Christ, there's nothing better than her pussy. It tastes like candy.
I take long, slow licks of her, just savoring her taste and the way she moans and grinds herself on my face. She's so fucking hot and sweet. I love every single thing about her. Especially the way she's crying out my name and grasping at the bedding.
When I slide a finger inside her and stroke it over her g-spot, she screams my name and comes, flooding my mouth with her candy taste. I lick it all up, not wasting a single drop, and then I prowl back up the bed toward her.
She's boneless beneath me, a sated smile on her lips.
"Fucking perfect," I mutter and slide her over before lying down on my back and moving her pliant body until she's straddling my hips. Her thighs spread around my hips, putting her hot little center right up against my dick. Her hands come down on my shoulders, those nails digging in as she holds on. "Ride me, baby girl."
She lifts up and then sinks down on me, taking me inside her.
We both moan, the sounds mingling somewhere near the ceiling as she rides me straight out of this dimension and into another. I grip her hips and help guide her, gritting my teeth and cursing the whole time because I can't seem to last for shit when she's wrapped around my cock.
"Easy, baby," I remind her when she drops down a little too hard.
She moans like it feels good, but I'm not risking anything happening to her. Fuck that noise. She means too much to me and it's my job to protect her, even if that means protecting her by not fucking her as hard as I want to fuck her. There's plenty of time for that later. Right now, I just want to love her.
I rise up and wrap my arms around her, holding her to my chest as she rides me. Each time she drops down, she circles her hips and then slides forward, making me moan. I pull her nipple into my mouth and toy with it as her nails dig into my shoulder blades and my name leaves her lips in a breathless chant.
Her head falls back, her hair brushing my thighs as she takes her pleasure from me.
"Christ, you look like a goddess taking my cock," I growl, sliding one hand between us to thumb her clit. "You're riding it like you own it."
"I do own it," she groans.
"Fuck yeah, you do." I grin, unable to stop myself. She does own my dick. She owns every piece of me. "You're the only woman who will ever be wrapped around this dick. It's just for you."
"Oh God," she whimpers, her inner muscles clamping down on me.
"All of me was made only for you. Who owns this pretty little pussy, baby girl?" I ask her, working my thumb in a circle over her clit. My teeth sink into her nipple before I pull back, letting it slide through my teeth. "Who do you belong to, January?"
"You! I belong to you!" she screams as she begins to come. Her muscles clamp down on me as another flood of wetness flows between her legs. Her body rocks and shakes above mine, wordless sobs pouring from her lips.
I hold her down on me and thrust up hard, unable to stop myself as she comes all over me. On the third thrust, she cries out my name. That's all it takes to send me over. I throw my head back and roar her name as I spill into her again and again. She milks me dry, her pussy massaging every last drop out of me. Stars burst behind my eyelids and blood roars in my ears. My heart pounds like a jackhammer spelling out her name.
It's fucking perfection. She's perfection.
"What did you say to Titan?" she asks me a little while later, snuggling up on my chest and yawning. She gets tired easily since Kaleo shot her. The doctor said that will improve eventually, but it's going to take some time for her body to heal completely.
I rub my hands up and down her back, just reveling in the peace flowing through me. It's been so long since I felt like this. I honestly didn't think I could ever feel this all-consuming lightness again. But with each passing day, it grows a little bit stronger and lasts a little bit longer. I'm still working through shit—I'll probably always be working through certain things. But having January back in my arms and knowing she doesn't blame me has gone a long way toward healing those old wounds. Visiting Titan and Jana today did too.
"I asked for his permission to marry you," I tell her, not holding anything back. Never again will I keep things from her. She deserves to know, every single day, that she's strong enough to handle anything life might throw at us. I won't be the reason she questions that on bad days. Not ever. "And I told him that if he sent me a sign, I'd spend the rest of my life loving you like you deserve."
"Cade," she whispers, her voice soft and sweet.
"I also asked him not to show up in the bedroom in the middle of the night to give me that sign," I mumble. "Ghosts freak me the fuck out."
Her little body shakes against mine as she laughs at me.
"I'm serious. I always kept Ma Rose's house spotless because I didn't want her ghost showing up to kick my ass either. Gangbangers, I can do, but I don't do ghosts. Fuck that shit."
"You're so ridiculous," she says, still laughing at me.
"I also told him that he could rest easy because I was going to be here to take care of you from now on," I whisper in her ear, stealing her laughter. "And I told him and your mom that both of us are going to be okay."
"We are going to be okay," she whispers after a moment. "I've never wanted anything more than I want to wake up in fifty years with you by my side and realize we made an incredible life for ourselves despite all the sadness and sorrow we went through. And I know it will be an incredible life, Cade. If you're with me, how could it not be?"
"Fuck," I breathe and bury my face in her hair as my heart pulses and then melts at her words. I love this girl like crazy. No one else, and I do mean no one, makes me feel like I'm king of the fucking world like she does with a few whispered words.
For so long, I thought I was a monster, unworthy of love and peace. I thought all the good left in the world was out of my reach because she wasn't by my side. But I know different know. With her in my arms, I know I deserve love and peace. I may be one of the things that goes bump in the night, but I'm not a monster. I'm her Grover…and she's my light in the darkness.
She always has been and always will be.
"I love you, baby girl," I whisper to her.
"I love you too, Cade."
Those sweet words whispered from her perfect little lips chase me into sleep. For the first time in a long time, I don't dream of blood and pain. I dream of the future I thought was lost to me so long ago.
Epilogue
Michael
Three Years Later
"Okay, kid," I growl, watching the little blond warily from across the room. "We can play this one of two ways. You can come with me quietly or I can chase you down. Either way, you're coming with me."
The boy throws his head back and laughs.
"The hard way it is," I sigh, not surprised.
At sixteen-months, Titan James Kincaid, TJ for short, isn't afraid of much.
Tossing my weapons—his clothes and shoes—down on the changing
table, I lunge for him.
He squeals and darts forward as fast as his chubby little legs will carry him. Laughter rings out all around us as I chase after him down the hall, scooping him up before he can get too far.
"Daddy!" he yells and wiggles like a little eel in my arms.
I press my face into his soft stomach and blow raspberries, making him scream with laughter and wriggle harder. He grabs my hair, tugging on it. I swear, his mom taught him to do that shit. I melt like a fucking Popsicle every damn time he reaches those fat little fingers out and grabs my hair.
"You're not getting out of it, TJ," I tell him anyway, hefting him over my shoulder and carrying him back into the nursery. "You gotta get dressed."
"No," he whines, his little lip poking out into a pout when I plop him down on the changing table.
That melts me too, but I don't let him see my weakness. If I do, I'll never be able to get him dressed again. I'm not sure what he has against clothes, but he strips them off at every available opportunity. Doesn't matter where we're at. If he's left unsupervised for more than two seconds, he's naked. I'm pretty sure he gets that shit from his mom because she's always running around in tiny little shorts and tank tops that cover nothing.
"Sorry, buddy," I murmur to him, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. Swear to God, he smells like sugar. He definitely gets that from his mom, along with his blond hair and emerald eyes. He's January made over, though I think he's probably going to get his size from me. He's already taller than most of the kids in his daycare. He's also got my dimples, which he flashes at his mom all the time. Which is why I'm the one who has to wrestle him into clothes every day. He flashes those dimples at her and it's all over with.
"Mama?" he asks, wiggling this way and that as I pull a shirt over his head.
"Let me get you dressed, then you can see mommy," I negotiate, trying to fight one arm into the hole, only to have him slide it right back out. It takes a good five minutes to finally get it on him the right way.
He narrows his little eyes at me and huffs loudly when I finally do.
"You definitely get that shit from your mom," I say with a chuckle. She's always glaring at me and huffing when I piss her off, which I still do a lot because I'm me. What? It's part of my charm. She always forgives me though. Usually because I give her orgasms until she forgets why she was mad at me. It's working out great for me.
"Shit."
"Fuck. Don't say that, TJ. Your mom will kick my ass. Jesus." I tip my head back and take a deep breath before I teach him every curse word in the book in one sitting. I keep forgetting he's learning how to talk by repeating whatever he hears. January's going to kill me if he starts screaming all these new words across his daycare…which he probably will do because he's my kid and I can't stop cursing to save my life. I tried. Ended up putting ninety dollars in the damn swear jar in one day. That whole experiment ended pretty quickly after that.
I swear, this kid looks just like his mom and acts just like me. I fucking love it.
When we first found out January was pregnant, I was terrified out of my mind that I'd be a terrible father. It's not exactly like I had any strong male role models in my life growing up, and I spend most of my time around gangbangers and criminals. But the first time I held him in my arms, I knew I'd do anything for him.
Turns out, I'm not as bad at parenting as I thought I'd be. At least, I think I'm doing an okay job at it. He seems to like me most of the time. When I think I'm fucking it up, I just ask myself what January would do. That seems to do the trick most of the time. I've only had to call T and Roman a couple of times for advice. They usually laugh at me so I hang up on them and figure it out myself.
My friends are assholes.
Life is pretty fucking great.
"Here's the deal, dude," I tell TJ, sliding a pair of pants up his legs and then standing him up to pull them up over his diaper. "If you keep your clothes on today, I'll buy you ice cream."
"Cade," January laughs from behind me. "Are you seriously trying to bribe him?"
"Mama!" TJ shouts and starts bouncing up and down and clapping his hands.
"Fuck, I love when he does that," I say, grinning from ear to ear. "You used to do the same shit when you were excited about something, baby girl. It's cute as hell."
"Hell!" TJ yells, reaching for January. "Shit!"
"Fu-frick my life," I growl and shake my head. "You're supposed to be on my side, little dude. Stop snitching."
January steps up beside me and swats me on the arm, laughing. As soon as I catch sight of her, my dick turns to steel in my slacks. She's wearing a blue dress that flows around her body as she moves. Her hair is loose around her. She's too damn perfect.
"You're a cop, Cade. You can't tell your son not to snitch," she tells me. "Hi, sweet boy." She holds her arms out for TJ and he practically catapults into them. Naturally, as soon as she wraps them around him, he snuggles in and gets still.
I don't blame him for that shit. Being in her arms is my favorite place too. Still…where was that stillness five minutes ago when I had to practically hold him down to get a shirt on him? He's definitely my kid. He's all about his mama. I'm all about his mama too.
She's filled out since having TJ, but she still looks like a little doll. Now she just has incredible lush curves to go with those obscenely sexy tits. Most of the time, she's so fucking happy it takes my breath away. She glows all the time like she did when we were little, only it goes deeper than simply happiness now. It's like the inner peace and strength she found pours out of her. You can see it in her eyes and in the way she carries herself. She's so goddamn beautiful.
Wrapping an arm around her waist, I tug her closer and press my lips to her forehead.
She sighs happily and rests her head on my arm.
I love moments like this when I've got her and TJ in my arms and they're both safe and happy. It's the future I always wanted for myself…the one I thought I'd lost a long damn time ago. It's even more perfect than I ever thought it could be.
I'll be thanking God for the rest of my life for giving me another chance to grasp it.
January and I spent a long time in therapy, working out our shit. We still have bad days, but we make it through them together. I hold her when she cries…and she reminds me that I'm not a monster.
Two years ago, she married me. A week later, we found out she was pregnant with TJ.
I wouldn't change a second of the last three years.
"I love you," I whisper, tugging on her hair.
"I love you too." She tilts her head back to peer up at me.
I lean down to kiss her, but TJ decides to cockblock me and kicks me in the chin while trying to escape from his mama's arms. She laughs and kisses him on both cheeks before setting him in the floor.
As soon as she lets him go, he's on his feet, racing toward the door and then down the hall.
"We need baby gates," I mutter, pulling January into my arms.
"We had baby gates," she reminds me. "He climbed over them. He'll be fine in the living room. Luke is out there."
"You spending time with Santiago, baby girl?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at her.
She rolls hers at me. "You do remember he's got his own girl now, right?"
How the hell could I forget? He almost died trying to save his girl. I'm grateful as hell he survived. He's been my partner for the last two years and one of my closest friends. I still don't want him around my wife though.
What? He's good looking and I'm a jealous bastard. Sue me.
He used to get off on that shit. He thought it was hilarious to hug up on January just to get me going. Now that he has his own girl, he doesn't think it's as funny. Which means I annoy the hell out of him as often as possible by hugging the shit out of his girl.
Thank God January thinks it's funny. I wouldn't do it if it bothered her.
"Kinley's with him," January says. "Roman and Mila are running late."
"Yeah?"
She
nods.
Good. Kinley and Luke will keep TJ occupied for a little while.
"Does that mean I got time to get you off?" I ask, picking her up in my arms and striding across the room to kick the nursery door closed. Once it clicks shut, I put her back against it and grind my dick into her pussy.
"No," she moans even though she wraps her arms around my neck and wiggles on my dick.
I slide my hand up her thigh, shoving her dress up as I go. When I reach her panties, she's already soaked. "I think you need to get off, baby girl," I whisper, sliding them to the side. I run one fingertip down her slit, groaning when I feel her sticky juices on my hand. "Don't want you all wet and needy today."
"Cade," she whimpers.
"Kiss me, January."
She gives me what I want, wrapping her hands in my hair and kissing me like we've got all day. As soon as her tongue meets mine, I plunge two fingers into her while working her clit with my thumb. I swallow her cries as she writhes against my hand, using me to get herself off. Little whimpers fall from her lips, but I swallow those too. My tongue teases hers before I bite her bottom lip and suck it into my mouth.
Within seconds, she's crying out my name and coming all over my hand.
I wring her out, watching as she rides the waves with her head thrown back and her cheeks flushed. Her body is splayed across the door, completely open to me. My dick throbs in my pants, demanding that I let him out and then let him in, but I know we don't have time for that. And that's not what this was about anyway.
My girl is pregnant again and greedy for it. Her hormones are wild. She can't make it through an entire day without begging me to make her come. Not that I'm complaining or anything. Getting her off is the highlight of my fucking life. I live for watching her come apart for me. I feel like a rock star when she's moaning my name like it's the only one she knows.
"I needed that," she says, blinking open her eyes and giving me a lazy, sated smile.
I kiss her lips and then slide my hand out from between us and suck my fingers clean.
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