With Alexander safely at the table, the space in the cottage seemed to grow, a slight tension draining from the air. His adult frame had filled the space in a way that even seven children didn’t.
Jack abandoned even the pretense of activity, edging closer and closer to Alexander, until at last he found the courage to take one of the chairs beside him. And once he had done so, the others rushed to follow. I hid a smile. No one wanted to be shown up by a six-year-old.
Once the food had been served there was a lull, as if no one quite knew how to start the conversation.
“So what do you do, Alexander?” Anthony’s eyes lingered on the bow and quiver that Alexander had finally relinquished, leaving by the door. I suspected that, like Jack, he thought Alexander a poacher.
Alexander paused, considering his answer. “I’m a huntsman.”
“A royal huntsman?” Ben sat straighter, exchanging a look with Daria. Alexander just shrugged.
“He was helping me,” I rushed to say, my eyes on Daria. “And we got separated. That’s how I came to be lost.”
“Oh.” Her face softened.
“But he doesn’t hunt bears. They’re too big.” Poppy spoke the words gravely, as if the insight were her own.
“Thank you, Poppy, that’s so helpful.” Danni rolled her eyes.
“But he could shoot a bear. If he needed to.” Jack seemed to feel the need to defend his new hero.
“If I needed to.” Alexander’s grave manner suggested he took the children seriously. And I could see it was making a favorable impression with them. “I just wanted to be sure Snow was safe,” he added.
And with that I knew he had fully won over Daria. Ben still looked unsure. I was betting he hadn’t forgotten the royal huntsman part. And no doubt he had noted our failure to provide any explanation.
“Must be nice to work for a king,” said Anthony. Obviously he hadn’t forgotten either.
“A queen, you mean,” said Alexander.
I shot him a look, but he didn’t meet my eyes. His words were true regardless, I supposed.
“Has the king died at last, then?” asked Louis.
His casual question sent a dart of pain through me, and the weight of Alexander’s eyes told me he knew. I hoped none of the others noticed.
“We haven’t been into the village in a while.” Daria seemed to feel the need to defend their ignorance.
“We’ll need to go soon,” said Ben.
“And I suppose we’ll find the taxes have been raised yet again.” Anthony sounded sour, his eyes suggesting he placed the blame for this likelihood on Alexander.
Sadly it seemed all too likely a prospect with my stepmother now in charge of the kingdom. But my mind had snagged on one word.
“Again? What do you mean again?”
The older children all regarded me with surprised eyes. Even Alexander looked away, his posture uncomfortable.
“How long were you wandering around the forest?” Anthony snorted. “The taxes have only been raised four times in the last year already.”
Four times? I opened my mouth to protest only to close it again. Why would he lie to me? And I hadn’t really been paying attention to such things.
I bit my lip. So my stepmother hadn’t even waited for my father to die before beginning to change his policies. Had he known? But I instantly rejected that thought. He would not have stood for such a thing.
“Taxes?” Poppy wrinkled her nose. “Aren’t those the things you were complaining about, Louis?”
The other boy sighed sadly. “We used to have pies like we made yesterday all the time. And other desserts and yummy things. But now we can’t afford much sugar. That’s what Daria says, anyway.” He glared at the older girl as if it was her fault.
She reached over to pat Poppy’s hand. “We have to buy essentials first. And pay the taxes. You all know that. If there’s any coin left over, then…”
I quickly looked away, shame rushing through me that the children should be denied such a simple pleasure just to fill the palace coffers. Alexander reached out as if to place a comforting hand on my arm but let it drop before making contact. Clearly he had known. Why hadn’t he told me?
Why didn’t you ask? This time I didn’t push the voice away. I had cocooned myself in my grief. Let it consume me. And my friend had respected that. The fault was mine.
A vision of the few winking slivers in Danni’s hand filled my mind. How hard these children worked for the little they possessed. And Alida wished to strip even that away from them. For what? She already had enough diamonds for any one person.
But your father. What would knowing the truth have done to him?
The selfish thought stung me as I sat here among children who had taken me in, no questions asked. They had shared their food and their home—even their bed—although I had little to offer in return. Whatever it would have cost my father, our people deserved it. That was the burden of leadership.
I had been his shadow, keeping vigil at his bedside. But I should have been his eyes and ears. I knew Alida was not to be trusted. Which meant I was far more to blame than him.
And what about now? The needling thought made me grip my fork so tightly I thought it would bend. If you hid away then, what are you doing now?
I took a deep breath and looked around the table. This cottage had been a haven when I needed one most, but I could not stay here. My kingdom needed me to return. To be a queen.
I just needed to work out how.
Chapter 9
Alexander made no offer to help with clearing up after the meal. No doubt he sensed how out of place he was within the cottage. Instead he gathered his bow and quiver and departed with a murmured thank you for the meal. At the door he paused, looking back at me as I trailed close to his heels.
“I’ll sleep in the forest nearby. I’ll be back in the morning.”
I nodded, trying not to let him see the relief that filled me at his words.
“We’ll talk properly then.” He didn’t wait for an answer before striding from the cottage. I swallowed, watching the door close behind him. A promise, or a threat?
I forced my spine to stiffen. No doubt he would disapprove of my plan to challenge Alida, but I had no hope of success if I bowed at the first hint of opposition. And from the most friendly of sources, as well.
I had told him earlier that I was a princess, and he must defer to me, although the words had been humorously meant. If I truly intended to pursue this path, however, I would have to make the words real. If I wished to take my place on the throne, I would have to become accustomed to command. It felt like a heavy burden, and one I did not wish to bear.
But if not me, who?
I wished, uselessly, that my mother had lived to give me brothers and sisters. Perhaps I could have abdicated safely to one of them. But my birth had destroyed that possibility. And I could only be glad Alida had borne no children. No doubt she would have long since arranged an unfortunate accident for me if she had a child of her own blood to inherit in my place. Perhaps she would even have willingly taken the title regent in such a circumstance.
But it was as empty a thought as the dreams of my mother. I alone had the right to the crown. I alone could challenge Alida without splintering the kingdom irreparably.
Was that why I had so dreaded my father’s death? Because I shrunk from the responsibility it thrust on me? But that thought I squashed. I had loved my father with my whole heart. I would not doubt my feelings now. I would have mourned his death no less if ten older siblings stood between me and the throne.
I let myself dwell on my grief in the darkness of the night, shedding silent tears into the pillow. But when the sun rose, I put the tears away. Since my father had first taken ill, I had shed enough tears to fill a river. The time had come for action.
Carrying a bowl of porridge outside, I found Alexander lingering near the edge of the trees. He came forward and took it with a quiet thanks, making quick work of the hot food. Jack
appeared just as he was finishing, his eyes full of excitement, but I thrust the bowl at him and told him to take it back inside.
I could see he wanted to protest, but a quick glance at Alexander made him change his mind and go scampering back toward the cottage. Eager, no doubt, to be of service. I took the opportunity of his absence to speak as quickly as I could.
“I’m going back to the capital. I have to challenge Alida and take the throne. She’s going to destroy this kingdom otherwise.”
He opened his mouth to respond, but I cut off his protest before he could utter it.
“The throne is rightfully mine. You said so yourself.”
He tried again, but I once again jumped in too quickly for him.
“It doesn’t matter what you say, Alex. I’m determined. I’m going back.”
He opened his mouth for the third time, and I knew I should let him speak. He would say his piece eventually, no doubt. But in truth I still felt afraid. Afraid that I would weaken and give in to his arguments in favor of my safety. And so I once again went to cut him off.
“Snow!” He spoke loudly, overriding my flow of words. I stopped, startled, and he shook his head at me.
“I agree. You are the true queen, and Alida shouldn’t be allowed to just steal the throne from you.”
“Wait…what?”
I stared at him, my mouth hanging open, and he shook his head again.
“Haven’t I been telling you from the start? I support the true queen.”
I looked around quickly, but Jack had yet to reemerge. I lowered my voice to a whisper.
“So, you’ll help me go back.” I pulled a face. “I’m not actually sure I could find the way on my own.”
“I’ll help you. Of course. But not to go racing straight back to your death.”
Ah. I deflated. I knew the protests would be coming.
“You’re not ready to take her on, Snow.”
I wished I could protest, but his words were so obviously true it felt pointless. If I returned, I would no doubt be dead long before I managed to face the court. It was the thought I had been trying not to think about ever since my new resolution to take back my throne.
He took a quick step forward at my defeated expression, gripping one of my elbows. “That doesn’t mean we can’t do it. Just that we need to be smart about it. To prepare the way.”
I frowned, biting my lip, my mind racing.
“You’re right. You need to train me.” I gestured around us at the clearing. “And here we have the perfect opportunity.”
“Ahh…” His brow crinkled, and he stepped away from me. “That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.” He blinked a couple of times. “Train you…?”
“Yes.” I nodded my head with decision, buoyed up by my new certainty. “I’m sick of feeling useless. I want to be able to move through the forest silently, like you do. And track. And find my own food. And defend myself. And climb walls without almost falling to my death. And just generally be able to sneak around.”
I grinned at him triumphantly, and he laughed reluctantly.
“Just those, huh?”
I grimaced. “Well, maybe we can refine the list a little. Prioritize.”
“Maybe that would be a good idea,” he said gravely. “If you want to take back your throne this decade.”
I punched him lightly in the arm. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Alex.”
But a slow grin was spreading across his face. “No, no. You have all my confidence. In fact, I think it’s a great idea.”
“You do?” I looked up at him suspiciously. “Really?”
“Really.” He nodded once.
“Great.” I rubbed my hands together, looking around us. “What should we start with?”
I half-expected him to protest an immediate start, but instead he seemed to take my question seriously. His eyes flicked several times to the cottage behind me, and I spun, expecting to find we’d finally gained an audience. But we were still alone, Daria somehow managing to keep them all inside.
“These children must know what they’re doing,” Alexander said at last. “If they’ve survived out here on their own all this time.”
I nodded. “I’ve been watching them and learning what I can. I certainly know more than I did before I arrived.”
He looked pleased as he drummed his fingers against his leg, muttering to himself too quietly for me to hear.
“You want to learn to defend yourself,” he finally said. “And I think that’s an excellent idea. Do you think some of the older children might want to learn as well?”
I blinked at him, my thoughts racing to Daria’s solemn expression when she had reassured me that she understood the dangers out there in the wider world. She had fled to a life in the forest because she never wanted those dangers to find her. But perhaps if she knew how to defend herself, she might feel differently about venturing out one day.
“They just might. Shall I ask them?”
Alexander nodded. “I’ll wait out here. Either way we need to get started this morning.” He shifted slightly and glanced up at the sun.
I ran for the house, musing over his words. I had expected him to think I was in too great a rush, but he seemed to be the one in a hurry.
I pulled Daria and Ben aside, glad to see that no one had left for the day while I was distracted talking to Alexander. My eyes locked on Daria, although my words were directed at them both.
“You saw how useless I was when I arrived here. I’ve been learning a lot from all of you, but I want to learn more. I want to learn how to defend myself. And my friend has agreed to teach me. We’re wondering if you’d like to learn, too.”
Daria looked startled, but Ben’s eyes immediately flew to the window, as if he was hoping to get a glimpse of Alexander outside. His expression seemed pleased—and almost relieved. A pang shot through me. Ben had such a calm demeanor generally. Unflappable. But how greatly did the care of all these younger children weigh on him?
“I suppose…” Daria glanced at Ben. Whatever she read in his eyes made her straighten her spine. “Yes, I suppose we would. I’m sure Anthony would like to learn as well. Perhaps we can cancel the trip to the mine for today.”
Of course as soon as the plan was explained, the younger four clamored to be included. Alexander took this easily in stride, setting them to simple tumbling and running exercises with a gravity that made them accept their basic assignments with determination.
The older four of us he set up in pairs. I had thought he would put the girls and boys together, but instead he paired me with Ben. When he caught my glance, he shrugged.
“It’s rare to need to defend yourself against someone smaller than you. Once I’ve shown you the basics, you’ll all have a chance to practice against me.”
He proceeded to walk us through a series of moves that would allow us to escape a captor’s grip. He also showed us the best ways to temporarily unbalance or disable a potential captor.
“The aim is always to give yourself a chance to run,” he explained, as we slowly mirrored the moves, making sure we had the technique right before trying them for real. “You would need far more training than I can provide to enable you to hold your own in a fight. But getting free and giving yourself a moment’s head start—that’s achievable. And could make the difference as far as survival.”
When we actually started testing the moves on each other, the younger children all came over to watch. But when they realized that Alexander intended to drill us on the same moves over and over—and over—they quickly lost interest.
“You need to do them so many times that your muscles remember even when your mind isn’t thinking clearly,” he explained. “And there’s no way to do that except to practice. A lot.”
I had wondered if Anthony might lose interest when it became monotonous, but he approached every exercise with grim persistence, never flagging or becoming distracted. The other two also kept pace without complaint, and I was reminded once ag
ain of what all of these children had already achieved. For years now they had maintained their refuge without adult assistance. And they had no one to turn to for training of any sort. Now that someone had unexpectedly arrived, they obviously didn’t intend to waste the opportunity. Their determination inspired me.
With all the opportunities available to me, I had never even considered learning anything like this before. If I’d asked my father, he would no doubt have told me it was unnecessary, given I would always have guards to protect me. But he wouldn’t have refused if I’d insisted. And I could always have asked Alexander to do it without going through my father at all. I had wasted so much time.
By the afternoon my muscles ached almost as much as on my first arrival at the cottage. But I also felt a swelling of pride. I could break Ben’s hold from several different positions.
Then Alexander had us each attempt it with him as our partner. All pride immediately died. His muscles seemed to be made of iron, his arms so much longer and his grip so much stronger than Ben’s. I couldn’t escape from him.
Alexander himself had only praises for us all, however.
“You’ve made excellent progress for one day. The key is to just keep practicing. Keep building your strength and your technique, and soon you’ll be able to break free from anyone.”
I tried to hold onto his words through dinner, but my eyes kept drooping, my body and mind both exhausted by the new activity. It was hard to believe any of it could ever feel natural.
But, contrarily, as soon as I rolled into bed, my mind refused to drop into sleep. The even breathing of the younger ones soon told me I was the only one awake in the huge bed, but now that I was lying down, my sleepiness had fled. The underlying fatigue remained, but my mind was too active to give in.
And I found my thoughts circling my early morning conversation with Alexander. He had said that any attempt at re-taking the throne would require preparation. But he had then seemed surprised at my suggestion of training, so that obviously hadn’t been the preparation he meant.
A Dream of Ebony and White: A Retelling of Snow White (Beyond the Four Kingdoms Book 4) Page 8