She gave a sort of strangled laugh/sob remembering the last time she’d watched fireworks with the people around the table. “You think of everything.”
“Only with you.”
One more kiss and he leaned heavily on James as they made their way across the yard to the rear entrance of the house. When they were almost there, Mary-Margaret joined them on Bennett’s other side.
Miss Jeffries put her hand over Rowan’s and she realized she was twisting hers nervously. Glancing down, she plastered a smile on her face.
The older woman wasn’t convinced. “That never worked on me, honey. Sit down and tell me what’s happenin’ to flush your entire body with fear.”
“Nothing. Everything is-is wonderful.”
From the other side of the table, Gage asked softly, “Is your husband sick, Rowan?” She jerked her gaze to his. “He requires support that counters his fit body and personality.”
Lowering slowly to the chair, she whispered, “No. H-he’s fine. Bennett is going to be fine.” She stared into Gage’s eyes and he didn’t blink. Unexpected tears filled her eyes. “He will.”
Miss Jeffries patted her hand as Nina sat in the chair Bennett had vacated. She handed her a napkin and Rowan pulled her eyes away from Gage to blot her tears before they could fall.
“No one knows.” She gave them a ten-second breakdown of Bennett’s health. Staring at the table, she said, “I’m sorry. I need to be with him.” She kissed Miss Jeffries’ cheek and stood. “The estate is massive. You can explore it with the golf carts.” Forcing a smile for Gage, she told him, “There’s a gorgeous stable filled with great, wild beasts.” He nodded but his smile was sad.
Gesturing to a member of their full-time staff, Rowan waited as the woman joined them with a grin. “Jess is our groundskeeper. She manages the gardens, stables, and aquatic center.” Putting her hand on Jess’s forearm, she requested, “Please make sure my friends have whatever they need. You know the estate better than anyone. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
“Of course, ma’am.”
Lifting her hand distractedly, Rowan walked as fast as she could across the lawn, smiling as she avoided people who wanted her attention.
Inside, she found Bennett in his suite. James had removed his jacket, tie, and unbuttoned his shirt. Their in-house doctor was taking his blood pressure.
Kicking off her shoes, Rowan climbed up on the bed out of the doctor’s way. Taking Bennett’s hand, she smiled brightly.
“I owe James fifty bucks. He bet you’d be here in less than ten minutes. I hoped you could hold off your worry for at least an hour.” He shook his head. “It was the heat and excitement. Nothing to fear, my darling.”
“It’s a warm day, Bennett. I should have come inside…”
He tugged her closer and said, “You should be outside enjoying your birthday party.”
Stroking her fingers over his cheek, she smiled. “Beside you is my favorite place to be.” She stretched out beside him.
Against her hair, he murmured, “How the hell did I get so lucky when I have so little time to love you?”
Angling her face up to look at him, she said, “I’ll love you a hundred times harder so you can feel what it would be like spread over twenty or thirty years.”
“I love you, Rowan.”
“I love you, too. With every part of me.”
“Let me cool down and settle my system. Then we’ll return to the party.”
“No…”
“Oh, yes. For now, lay here with me and let’s wait for my medication to work.”
Resting her cheek on his shoulder, she placed her palm over his heart. The beat felt almost too weak to detect and her own began to race.
His arm tightened around her. “Breathe, darling.”
Nodding, she didn’t speak. There was no way to hide the tears that soaked into his shirt.
* * *
Hours later, she sat beside Bennett as the fireworks show took place in the center of their lake. She held his hand as tight as she could.
At one point, she lifted her face and accidentally met Gage’s eyes from twenty feet away. The memory of their first kiss as fireworks exploded overhead passed between them.
Rowan blocked it out, disgusted with herself, and focused on the man she loved - who loved her.
Bennett was wrong.
She didn’t still love Gage.
No heart was big enough to hold that much love.
Chapter Nine
2003 - Age 26
Standing beside Bennett while his cardiologist went over his latest lab results, Rowan thought she might shake out of her skin.
One year had turned into two…then three…and every day was another chance to hold her husband as tight to her as she could.
“It’s incredible, Bennett,” his doctor said. “The deterioration is total and irreversible yet here you are. I...honestly, I don’t know what you’re doing but keep doing it.”
Holding Rowan against his side, Bennett answered, “Love from an incredible woman. I swear to God, she’s willing my heart to keep beating.”
Grinning, the doctor headed for the door. “Let me get your new prescriptions.”
Turning fully to him, “Stay with me, Bennett.” She whispered the words almost inaudibly at his neck as she hugged him. “Please stay with me.”
He kissed her temple. “Every second I can, darling.”
Every day was a battle between intense gratitude and waiting for the other shoe to drop.
She bent her entire life to loving Bennett, checking one item after another off his bucket list, and monitoring everything from his diet to his daily steps.
She worked in the office beside his and kept the door open between them. There were times he’d be in deep conversation as Mary-Margaret took notes in shorthand and Rowan would zone out staring at him across the short distance.
Enthralled with the way he spoke, smiled, moved.
Every time, he eventually felt her watching him and their eyes would meet. It would startle her from her daydream and she’d get up to walk to him.
He always welcomed her into his space and his arms.
After a year of training from Mary-Margaret and Bennett himself, Rowan took over the entire charitable organization. Dozens of people reported to her and millions of dollars passed across her desk every month.
The way her husband gave to those in need never failed to humble her, to make Rowan want to do more, be more. It was what gave her the idea for his birthday - which fell a few weeks after their second anniversary.
Pulling Mary-Margaret into her confidence, they planned the birthday Bennett had been told by doctors he wouldn’t reach.
It would be a testament to the life her husband had lived and the life she hoped to keep living with him.
They invited fewer than a hundred people - those that his assistant explained were closest to him over the years. Setting up a stage in the back garden, the late fall weather ensured Bennett didn’t exert himself in the heat.
In the days leading up to the party, Bennett was introspective. After dinner one evening, he held her close to him as her head rested on his chest.
“You are the most beautiful, unexpected gift I have ever received. No one else in my life has loved me as you have.”
Rowan snuggled closer. “Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Being at your side is like running, the wind in my face and the warmth on my skin.” He made a sound that caused her to lift her head. Tears shimmered in his eyes. “What’s wrong?” Placing her palm along his cheek, she whispered, “Tell me, Bennett.”
“I was selfish, Rowan.” Silent tears slipped down his face and she shook her head. “I hope - when all is said and done - that you’ll forgive my greed. I so desperately needed you, needed your love, that I took it despite the pain I drastically underestimated I would put you through.”
“No, Bennett.” Moving higher on the couch, she hugged him. “Even if-if it comes, I could never
regret a moment spent with you. Not one.” He hugged her back as hard as he could and they stayed like that for a long time.
Behind them, there for Bennett as he always was, James stood still and silent staring at a point across the room.
Tears glistened on his cheeks.
Seeing them caused a shiver of terror down Rowan’s spine. She held her husband harder and whispered, “Stay with me. Stay with me, Bennett.”
“My remarkable, fearless Rowan. How I love you.”
She cried softly against his neck because it was the first time he didn’t promise to stay as long as he could.
* * *
The night of the gala held in honor of Bennett’s birthday, the guests consisted of the men and women who’d known him best and longest.
She was happy when Miss Jeffries arrived with Gage and Nina. The elderly woman smiled up at her and said, “You gave him a new lease on life, Rowan.”
“I need four more decades to show him how much I love him.” Looking around, she spotted Mary-Margaret and waved her over. “The three of you are my only personal guests so I put you at the table closest to the stage.”
Miss Jeffries’ eyes widened. “Rowan? We’re the only people you invited for yourself?”
Pausing in her internal list of things to do, she shrugged. “I’m close to James and Mary-Margaret. The entire extended staff is wonderful. I-I don’t form attachments easily.”
She looked out at the guests laughing and talking. “Bennett caused so many positive ripples. Mary-Margaret said she arranged for you to stay in the guest houses. If you need anything at all, let me know. I need to check with the caterer but I’ll be back in just a bit.” She quickly kissed Miss Jeffries and smiled at the others.
She was headed inside to check on Bennett when a man called, “Mrs. Jefferson?” She paused with a fixed smile on her face. “I’m Harper Delkin. I came in my father’s place.”
He extended his hand and she took it with a genuine grin. “How wonderful! Hunter’s assistant wasn’t certain you’d make it back from overseas.”
“We flew into Austin an hour ago and drove directly here. My mother is feeling strangely off the last couple of days and Dad didn’t want to leave her.”
“Please send your mother my regards. She walked me through several odd little projects. She’s lovely.”
“She feels the same about you, Mrs. Jefferson.”
“Rowan.” Beaming a bright smile on the lean blonde standing behind Harper, she asked, “Are you like our James?”
The man nodded. “Elijah Eklund, Mrs. Jefferson.”
“Rowan. I insist.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I need to get inside but I’d love to talk more later.” She winked. “You know I’m going to coax a big check from you in the next two weeks so giving it to me while you’re here just makes sense.”
Harper laughed. “Every bit as focused as Bennett told us. You shall have your check, Rowan.”
They shook hands again and she practically ran into the house. Not bothering to wait for the elevator, she took the stairs to the master suite on the third floor.
Bennett was leaving their suite with James behind him as she approached the door.
She leaned up to kiss him. “I started to worry.”
“You look spectacular, Rowan. Sorry I’m late. There were a couple of little things I wanted to take care of before the party and they ran longer than I expected.”
Smoothing the lapel of his tuxedo, she said cheerfully, “Now you can make a grand entrance. The best man in the place.”
Trailing a fingertip from her temple to her jaw, he replied, “With the most fascinating woman on my arm.” His eyes flicked down and back to her face. “That gown is even more gorgeous on you than I thought it would be.”
Bennett rarely commented on her body so the words made her blush as she ran her hand over the delicate skirt of a gown fit for a princess. It showed more cleavage than usual and bared most of her back.
“Thank you, Bennett. I love it but...it’s different from what you usually like me to wear.”
Stepping closer, he put his arm around her and trailed his fingers from the nape of her neck to the small of her back. Rowan’s instant visceral reaction to his touch on her bare skin made her press against the front of his body.
“Bennett,” she sighed.
He lowered his mouth to hers in an earthshaking kiss she hadn’t experienced in all their moments together. Trembling with need, she returned it, moaning into his mouth as her arm tightened around his waist and her fingers raked through his hair.
When he lifted away, she tried to follow him. Opening her eyes, she stared into vibrant green eyes that practically glowed with need for her.
The real world rushed in and she gasped. Placing her palm over his heart beneath his jacket, she whispered in a panic, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean…”
His heart beat steady, strong.
He wasn’t out of breath.
Smiling as her eyes filled with tears, she pressed her palm closer and told him happily, “Bennett! It’s better this time.” Lifting her gaze, she laughed. “That’s a good sign.”
“Yes. A man should be allowed to kiss the woman he loves more than anything on the planet.”
Reaching up, she held his face. “Receiving kisses from the man I love more than anything on the planet is the best gift I’ve ever received, Bennett.” She winked. “It’s not even my birthday.”
“Let’s make the rounds, Rowan. I understand there are dozens of people staying on the estate but Mary-Margaret assured me that no one other than staff will be inside the house.”
“I don’t like people in our space. I like you to be comfortable and confident without feeling like you have to perform.”
He dropped another kiss on her lips and took her hand. Walking toward the stairs instead of the elevator, he quipped, “I hope you saved me a dance, Rowan.”
“A...dance?” She tugged him to a stop at the landing. “W-why are we taking the stairs?”
Quirking his brow, he reminded her, “You always take the stairs, Rowan. If you’re not with me, you run up and down these things several times a day. Come.”
He led her through the house, into the backyard, and directly to the marble dance floor at the base of the courtyard.
Turning, he took her in his arms and held her firmly.
Frightened and confused, she felt on the verge of a panic attack. She looked around for James, needing to know he was close if things went wrong.
Bennett held her close and whispered, “Go with it, Rowan. Pretend this is how we’ve always lived and soak it up.”
“I’m scared…”
“I know you are, darling. Shove that fear down deep and spend an evening with the man I used to be. The man you should have had. I want to show you, Rowan.”
Tugging her lip between her teeth, she tightened her arms around her husband and nodded. “Alright.”
“My fearless wife.”
He kissed her deeply and she returned it as if they were alone. Then she laughed as they started to dance.
For the first time, she touched him freely and gave him kisses she’d ached to give him. They alternated between dancing and circulating but he never took his hands off her.
Rowan had personally reached out to hundreds of charities that Bennett had impacted over the years. She’d asked them to send their stories about how Bennett had helped them.
They’d done so much more than she asked.
For weeks, she’d been receiving framed photos and letters, plaques signed by children, and trophies in thanks of her husband’s years of dedication to those less fortunate.
Along the back courtyard wall, she’d arranged for large cabinets with lights to be set up. Everything she’d received filled shelf after shelf.
It was a physical representation of how many lives Bennett had truly touched. After the party, they’d be shipped to headquarters for permanent display.
Walking the wall of gratitude
at Bennett’s side, Rowan could see the emotions on his face.
He met her eyes and said softly, “I can’t believe you did this.”
“I didn’t. You did this, Bennett. You made buckets of money and used a lot of it to help men, women, and children you didn’t know, would never meet. You could have insulated yourself in an ivory tower, lived a life of excess, and tuned out the needy...but you didn’t.”
She gestured at the lit displays. “As I read stories from children who used to be homeless, women who were trapped in abusive relationships with nowhere to go, and businesses who credit you with saving their families...I loved you even more and I did not think it was possible.”
Bennett pulled her roughly into his arms and kissed her with a desperation she’d never felt in him.
It matched her own.
Breaking it, he cupped her skull in his hands and said through gritted teeth, “Why didn’t I meet you sooner? Why didn’t I get decades to love you?”
“You have me now and I’m going to love you forever.”
A sound of pain escaped him. “Dance with me again. Let me show every person here how lucky I am to have the love of such a magnificent woman.”
“Nothing would make me happier.” In her heels, she was closer to his lips and she leaned up to kiss them. “I’m the lucky one, Bennett. Every second with you shows me who I want to be.”
He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Fear churned in her chest but she hid it.
When he opened them, he led her back to the dance floor. He introduced her to his oldest friends, men and women he worked closely with, and explained that she was the next generation.
During one conversation, Bennett said, “I’ve personally mentored this brilliant woman since she was hit by my car. She’s been making moves for the last year on her own and I can attest to her prowess.” Squeezing her against his side, he kissed her temple. “My Lioness is fearless.”
Samuel Fields settled his gaze on Rowan. After a long pause, he extended his hand and she placed hers in it.
“Bennett is a man with exquisite taste and that has never been more evident than his choice to make you his wife. It’s a pleasure to meet you at last, Mrs. Jefferson.”
Coming Home: The Damaged Series - Book Three Page 8