by Sophie Meyer
“We’re getting busier,” Ashley lied.
“That busy?” Jessica interrupted. “Come on now, don’t drown your sorrow in work.” Jessica never had any compunction about saying exactly what was on her mind. It was refreshing, but also grating at times.
Ashley was offended. “What sorrow am I drowning?”
“Look, I know about Brad,” Jessica said without a pause, “even though you neglected to tell me
a thing about it.”
Ashley winced. “Oh, that.”
“It’s not just oh that!” Jessica was quick to respond. “You liked him. You told me so, more than once.”
“I didn’t like him that much,” Ashley replied. “He was okay.”
“You were excited about him,” Jessica insisted. “You said your dates were fun and that he was promising.”
Ashley felt her body tense up.
“Well, there are plenty more where he came from,” Jessica added promptly, as if trying to turn Ashley around. “There’s no point spending too much time licking your wounds over this one. He isn’t worth it. Just go online, there are hundreds waiting.”
Ashley felt profoundly irritated. “I’m not licking my wounds, I’m working,” she insisted. “And, there’s no reason to make a big deal about Brad. None at all.”
“Well, at least we agree about something,” Jessica sighed heavily. “You can do much better than Brad, Ashley, it was always obvious to everyone, really you can.”
“Jess, I love you, but I have to run now,” said Ashley feeling her face grow warm. She was not in the mood to be lectured at, especially by a friend. She’d heard enough of it from her family. Friends were there to hold you up.
“I’m sorry,” said Jessica, suddenly softer. “I just want the best for you, really.”
“It’s fine,” said Ashley, “I know you do, Jess, but, truly, I have to run now.”
Ashley thought about her conversation with Jessica as she left to meet Ray in the hotel lobby. She imagined how Jessica or her family would respond if they knew where Ashley was really going. They’d all be totally appalled, Jessica would tell their friends about it in a minute. Everyone would all think Ashley had lost her mind, fallen off the edge of a cliff, completely forgotten who she truly was. Every single one of them was expecting Ashley to find someone wonderful at the drop of a hat, couldn’t understand why it hadn’t happened already. They were all waiting for her to come and join the inner circle of those who were married, engaged, or even expecting. Ashley wasn’t sure at exactly what moment being single had become such a liability. Suddenly people looked at you differently, you turned into an outcast.
Ashley hailed a cab and got to the hotel in no time. To her delight and surprise Ray was standing out in front, waiting for her.
“You look great,” he said as she popped out of the cab. “I’m so thrilled you’re here. We’re going have a fantastic weekend. Come on, let’s go in and get good seats.”
Ashley looked around and saw the sidewalks and lobby of the hotel packed, all kinds of people were swarming around, waiting to get in. She looked them over out of the corner of her eye. Most looked fine, perfectly normal. Some were edgy, but that was nothing new, living down here in Santa Monica.
“People have come down here from all over,” Ray said, taking her arm and leading her through the crowds into the lobby and through the front door. “I heard some even flew in from Seattle and Vancouver.”
Despite herself, Ashley was impressed. The mood was contagious. The press of the crowds and excitement was palpable and lifted her spirits. There was a sense that people were on the edge of something fantastic, and all they had to do now was reach out their hands and take it. Surprises and gifts seemed to be hidden in every corner, it was like a huge treasure hunt.
“It feels like Christmas morning,” Ashley chuckled.
“Exactly,” Ray said. “The word is out. People have heard about the results! Everyone gets something they want badly! Something they need right now. Who doesn’t want to take control of their life?”
Ashley had never felt that she’d lost control of her life. In fact, she was proud of the fact that things had gone as she’d planned for many years. She was proud of it and grateful. It always gave her a sense of dignity and order in the world.
“Who wants to be fate’s plaything?” Ray said, as he checked both of them in at the door.
“Who said we’re fate’s plaything?” Ashley objected.
Ray stopped and grinned. “Who said we’re not?” he asked, leading her down the aisle to seats in the front.
“I’d rather sit a little further back,” Ashley recoiled as they moved closer and closer to the stage.
“No, come on! Let’s sit right in the first row! We won’t miss a thing! We’ll get all the good energy! You know what they say about people who come late and hide in the back?”
“What do they say?” Ashley had never heard anything like this.
“They say they’re the kinds who don’t jump into life. They put one toe in the water and never get wet. They come to the workshop, but are they fully there? Not really. They’re lurking in the back, wasting their time!”
Ashley’s heart started beating harder. “Harsh,” said Ashley, “and lurking in the back is a horrible image.”
Ray laughed.
“Maybe they just want to take their time, see what’s happening, get some distance and objectivity.”
“Maybe they do,” Ray said, pulling her down to the first row with him, as the place filled up fast. “But keeping your distance and taking your time isn’t the way to get what you want! You’ve got to jump in! Go the whole way! Leave your doubts and fears outside the door!”
Reluctantly, Ashley plopped down beside him in one of the two last seats left in the front row.
“That’s easier said than done,” breathed Ashley, wondering what she was really getting herself into.
“Wrong,” said Ray, hearing every word she said. “It’s harder when you hang onto reluctance, live with sandbags on your shoulders all the time.”
Ashley was about to answer, when everyone around her started standing, clapping and shouting.
Ray stood up too, cheering. “He’s about to come onstage,” said Ray as he clapped harder and harder. “The place is revving up for it, raising the energy! How you greet the teacher makes such a difference! How you start the Workshop, how you start you day.”
Ashley sat in her seat, unmoving and looked around. The entire room was packed to the gills. It seemed like she was the only one who was sitting. Everyone was standing, clapping, beaming.
Then, the next moment, Vince Raine walked onstage, all smiles, his hands raised, clapping back at the audience. He was a gorgeous guy in his mid-forties, with dark curly hair, expensive slacks, a blue silk shirt, open at the collar.
“Great energy, great energy,” Ray said.
“Welcome, Welcome,” Vince stood at the center of the stage, looking out over the audience with bright eyes. “What a day! What a life! Welcome to It!”
“Welcome,” the audience called back.
“Some people are here for the fourth and fifth times,” Ray murmured to her as the greeting went on. “They get so much from this, they can’t stop coming.”
Ashley looked again at the people besides her, in front, behind. They blurred into a huge mass of faces, filled with unbridled expectancy and hope. What about those who didn’t come back, she suddenly wondered? What about the ones who don’t get what they want? She didn’t dare say that to Ray though. There was no reason to squelch the mood, be a downer. As Ray said, this was definitely a time to jump in and swim. But what was she jumping into? Where were they swimming, could there be sharks milling around in these waters, just out of their sight?
“Okay, Okay,” Vince was speaking through a microphone now. “Let’s sit down and get going. We don’t want to waste a precious moment of this incredible day. I thank you for coming. I thank you for your hearts that are wide open and fe
arless. And those of you who haven’t been here before, I thank you for trying something new.”
It was nice to be acknowledged, thought Ashley no matter how odd the context seemed.
“We’ve all been living with a certain mindset for years,” Vince went on as the crowd simmered down, eager to hear every word he had to say. “We all have beliefs that have ruled our lives, told us what was and what wasn’t possible.”
Some people starting clapping again when he said that.
He smiled and held out his arms towards the audience, then took them back again to his heart. “And we all have our dreams that we want to come true! Some aren’t sure they ever will, but they still have hope.”
Ashley heard the crowd murmuring. This guy was intensely charismatic, pulling them all in, like a huge wave that had splashed in from the ocean, encompassing all of them in its foam.
“Hope springs eternal in the human heart!” Vince’s voice grew more and more resonant. “Hope cannot be squashed. Hope knows the truth. Hope knows that our dreams have been given to us as a gift, so we can make them real! So we can live a life that we deserve – that is worthy of who we really are!”
A huge wave of applause rose up all around. Ashley had never heard anything like this at all.
Vince went on despite the applause. “This workshop will take on whatever it is that gets in the way of you living the life you want - of making your dreams come true.”
Ray let out a low cheer. He was loving every moment of it. “This guy’s on fire, he’s on fire,” Ray murmured.
“This workshop will make you face your beliefs, the ones that have kept you playing life small!”
Ashley bit her lip. Of course Vince was exciting and inspiring, but this definitely wasn’t her cup of tea. She didn’t have any huge dreams she wasn’t living. She didn’t want to conquer the world. All she wanted was to find the right guy to love, to be loved in return and take the next step with him. What was so unusual about that? It didn’t seem as if all this should be necessary. None of her friends had to go through this ordeal. In all the centuries people found their mates naturally, without something like this. Didn’t they?
Ray turned to her suddenly, undoubtedly sensing her reservation.
“Keep an open mind, Ashley. Don’t rip yourself off, “Ray whispered. “This is pure gold here. Pure gold.”
Ashley did her best to smile. She wanted Ray to have pure gold. He deserved it, for sure. And if that’s what this was for him, so much the better.
Vince’s voice rose and fell from the podium as people took in what he was saying.
“We all need each other,” he proclaimed now. It seemed to Ashley as though he might have quickly glanced her way, sensing she wasn’t on board. At some moments Vince seemed larger than life as if he were able to sense everything at the same time, all the people, thoughts, hopes, reluctance. “Without each other, we can’t do this,” he went on. “Without a partner who’s truly at your side, the naysayers of the world will pull you back down. Don’t be a naysayer. It’s dangerous to underestimate the naysayers - they’re an undertow that wants to keep you stuck, just like they are. And how do we fight them? By buddying up!”
People started clapping intensely again. It was as though he were pouring water onto a parched valley. Whatever he said resonated.
“Before we really start,” he went on, “each of you will get a support partner, who will promise to have your back, keep your hope and energy alive. They’ll promise to be here not only for themselves, but for you as well! And, make no mistake about it! Promising to be there for another, is one of the best ways you make your own dreams come true! No man is an island! No man is an island!”
My God, Ashley felt the rope turning around her, pulling her in. She looked more closely onto the stage to see if Vince was an island? Was he married? Did he do this alone? When she craned her neck as far as it could go, she saw no wedding ring on him.
“Right now, this minute, get your support buddy!” Vince’s voice rose louder than before.
Ray turned to Ashley, his eyes beaming. “I’ll be your support buddy,” he declared. “Will you be mine?”
“Of course I’ll support you,” Ashley answered, breathless. What else could she say?
And she would, she wanted to support Ray. But she didn’t want it the other way around. She didn’t feel like she needed a support buddy. She could make her own decisions, follow her own rhythms, didn’t like being a part of the crowd. It startled her for a moment to realize that.
“Now remember,” Vince went on, “this is not only a support buddy for the weekend. It’s for the next month at least! Hopefully a year, maybe for life. It’s easy to feel good when we’re all together. But when you leave here on Sunday night, when you have all the tools and exercises I’m going to give you, and you step back into the outside world, that’s when you need your support buddy most of all! This is a practice you’re learning to do. Your support buddy will keep you going, encourage you. You’ll do it together every day! OKAY?”
“Okay!” the crowd shouted back.
Ashley felt like gasping. “I thought it was a weekend workshop,” she muttered to Ray.
“It’s a Life Workshop,” he answered back. “It’s your whole life we’re talking about.”
“Are you ready? Are you ready?” Vince called out to them all.
“We’re ready, we’re ready,” the crowd called back.
“That’s Step Number 1,” Vince echoed. “Get your support buddy! Be Connected! Be Ready! Okay, Let’s Go!”
Go where? wondered Ashley. Where in the world were they going to go from here? She felt as if she’d heard all she could take and less than an hour had passed. There were two full days to go. As if in answer to her question, the schedule for the day was being announced by one of Vince’s assistants, a tall, lanky guy, situated at a microphone at the other edge of the stage.
“There will be bathroom breaks, there will be water breaks. Lunch is at two in the afternoon. If someone doesn’t feel well, please come to me. If you have any questions you can’t get answered, I’ll be there for you in the back of the room. You go to lunch with your Support Buddy and keep practicing whatever you’re working on.”
Oh God, there was no way out of it now. At least Ray was her buddy and Ashley truly cared about him. As least she wasn’t going to lunch with a stranger. That was good. She would focus on helping Ray find his studio.
Now people were standing and turning their chairs to face their buddies. Ray placed Ashley’s chair right opposite his and they took their places.
“I’m excited to have you for my support buddy,” Ray said as they sat down. “Now I can really support you in finding the One, and you can support me.”
“Great,” said Ashley, trying to muster as much enthusiasm as she possibly could. She was determined not to spoil Ray’s good time.
Ashley looked over to the platform then, watching Vince standing there, looking over the room as if he were surveying his personal kingdom. He seemed pleased, content. Everyone seemed to be going along with him, there was a high sense of expectation.
“Now we’re really set to get things going,” Vince picked up the mike and continued. “First, look into your partner’s eyes.”
Ashley felt nervous. This was way too intimate, no escape. What would she ever have done if it weren’t Ray who was her partner?
She and Ray gazed at each other for a while. It was surprisingly comfortable though, actually fascinating looking into Ray’s hazel eyes, which completely matched hers. For a moment she almost felt as if she were looking at herself in a mirror. Ray reached out and squeezed her hands then.
“There’s a real person sitting there with you!” Vince called out as they kept gazing. “You’re not alone! Together the two of you can do anything!”
Ashley shivered.
“Now, tell your support buddy what you truly need, what you dream of at night, what your heart is asking of you!”
Ashley ha
d no idea at all what her heart was asking.
“As soon as you speak the word, start telling it to someone, that’s the beginning of making it real. It’s the beginning of making your dream come true.”
Ray flung his head back and looked almost beatific.
“Go ahead!” Vince insisted. “Tell your partner.”
“You go first,” Ashley murmured, horrified. Not only did she have no idea what her heart was asking of her, she’d never actually thought about it.
Ray started eagerly. “My heart’s asking me to open my life, to help others, to build a yoga studio where people will find peace, healing, happiness! I know I’m here to serve humanity!” Ray voice became stronger and his eyes were half closed.
Ashley’s breath caught in her throat. It was beautiful to hear that. She was moved.
“That’s beautiful, Ray,” she said.
“Thanks Ashley,” he kept smiling, “and thank you for being who you are. Thank you for being here with me. I couldn’t do this without you.”
“Of course you could,” said Ashley, surprised.
“No, I couldn’t,” Ray insisted. “That’s the whole point of this exercise. We need each other, not just you and I, but everyone needs a partner.”
Ashley did not agree, but how could she tell him? She couldn’t.
“Now, switch. The other one - tell your partner what Your Dream is now,” Vince guided them from afar.
It was Ashley’s turn. She was silent.
“Let your heart speak out,” Ray prompted her. “What has it always been dreaming of?”
“I have no idea,” Ashley murmured, tossing her head back and forth.
“Of course you do. Everyone does,” Ray was insistent.
“If you’re having trouble speaking what your heart wants of you,” Vince continued from afar, “just think of the reason you came to the workshop. What was it that drove you here?”
Ashley shrugged and looked at Ray. “I came because I’m sick of dating the wrong guys and then being rejected by them, to boot,” she repeated slowly.
“Put it in positive terms,” Ray leaned closer to her. “Don’t say what you don’t want! Say what you Do!”