by Sophie Meyer
“Let’s see different types,” Jessica filled in more details, “long and flowing, ruffled, form fitting.”
“Of course,” said the woman, “I’ll bring samples of our top numbers, that’s how we usually start. Is it a summer or winter wedding?”
Ashley looked at the floor. It was already mid-April. She had no idea what to say.
“The season does make quite a difference, even down here in California,” the woman continued.
“The wedding’s around at the end of May,” Ashley suddenly burst forth.
“The end of May??” Everyone was silenced! “This May?”
“A shotgun wedding?” Heather squealed.
“In six weeks?” the woman asked, stunned.
“Roughly,” said Ashley, completely flustered.
Jessica slid over and whispered in Ashley’s ear, “You’re not sure of the exact date?”
Ashley paid no attention, just kept a strange smile pasted on her face. The smile seemed to stick to her like a mask that couldn’t be dislodged. She felt hidden behind it, trying to get out, but unable to break its hold.
“Now, now, let’s not pressure the bride,” Shane advised graciously. “I’ve known Ashley since we were little. She’s always been a private person. We’ll get all the details at the perfect time, including the exact date.”
“Thanks, Shane,” said Ashley reaching out and squeezing her hand.
“Well, it’s a question of the dress being shipped to us, fittings scheduled - time does make a difference,” the woman seemed flustered. “Of course we can put it all on Express! There’s an extra charge, naturally, but we can speed up terrifically.”
“Thank you,” said Ashley quietly.
A sense of urgency suddenly surrounded them all.
“Well, come with me this minute,” the woman said to Ashley, “let’s try on some dresses right now.”
Ashley was dashed away to a dressing room, while she saw Jessica, Shane and Heather sat out there on the sofas, like a tribunal, waiting for her to appear before them robed in different bridal gowns.
*
The dressing room was lined with mirrors, smelled like gardenias, and on the rack hung three, beautiful, flowing wedding gowns, taking up most of the space. Ashley slipped gingerly between them as she walked in.
“We’ll try this one first,” said the woman, as Ashley slipped out of the dress she was wearing, and climbed into a huge, satin gown. The dress she stepped into had endless layers with lace roses embossed all over the front. It also had a train that extended for miles behind her.
“Hold your breath,” the woman insisted, as she zipped the backup tight.
Not only was it hard to breathe now, it was impossible to move, surrounded by so much fabric that gripped her. The dress held Ashley in place, demanded she behave in a certain way. It insisted that she and everyone else realize the huge importance of what was about to happen! She was embarking upon her wedding day. Ashley felt totally overwhelmed by it – both the dress and the wedding.
“Look in the mirror, you look beautiful in this,” the woman’s eyes sparkled.
Of course she had to say that to every bride, every perspective customer. Ashley looked in the mirror and couldn’t find herself anywhere. She had completely disappeared, only layers of satin flowed around her, like a fog she had stepped into and was doomed to be stuck in forever.
“Go let your friends see how beautiful you look in this dress,” the woman urged her.
Ashley felt reluctant.
“Go ahead, dear,” the woman insisted. “It’s only the first dress. See how they like it, then you’ll try on others.”
Ashley walked grimly out of the dressing room, down the corridor, the dress trailing heavily behind her. When she got to where her friends were waiting, loud gasps greeted her.
“My God, Ashley, you’re so beautiful,” Shane stood on her toes, “I’ve never seen you look like this, ever.”
“It’s really something,” Heather concurred.
“That’s an incredible dress,” Jessica chimed in.
“They say that very often the first wedding dress you try on is Your Dress!” Shane breathed.
“My Dress?” Ashley didn’t know quite what they were talking about.
“Every bride has Her dress, Shane went on nimbly. They have to find it just like they had to find their groom.”
“How do I know it’s My dress?” Ashley asked quickly.
“Just like you knew he was Your groom!” Heather answered quickly. “And you knew that fast enough!”
The girls started giggling and Ashley felt the mask go back over her face as she tried to join in the merriment.
“Try on another,” Heather quickly advised her. “Sometimes you can’t be sure it’s your dress until you try on a few, and then you go home, think it over, and your dress calls to you!”
“What Heather means,” Shane quickly added, “is that you try on a few and then after you’ve had time to dwell on it, you know which is the right one for you. You actually miss the dress, it misses you. It’s a part of you that you never recognized.”
The woman smiled wisely. “Many of my brides do know right away. They feel it the moment they put the dress on.”
Ashley felt nothing like that at all for this dress. In fact, she couldn’t wait to get it off. She and the woman walked back to the dressing room and it was a huge relief to feel herself being unzipped and climbing out of it.
Ashley looked at the other two hanging there. One of them was simple, sleek, sophisticated, not as demanding as the other. It didn’t require constant attention, or need to be decorated in so many ways.
“How about this one?” asked Ashley, pointing to the simple, satin dress.
“Like it better?” the woman asked.
“Much,” said Ashley relieved.
“Of course, let try it then,” she said and took the dress off the hanger and held it out for Ashley to step into.
Ashley slipped easily into a beautiful satin, sleeveless dress that draped perfectly over her body in all the right places, enclosing her like butter and silk. She felt embraced by it, soothed, uplifted. She took a swift breath, turned, and looked in the mirror. Who was the woman looking back out at her? Ashley had never seen her before. She was someone beautiful, graceful, floating on air. Definitely someone to be cherished and admired, someone ready to give herself completely to love.
“Oh my,” the woman gasped. “It’s perfect, perfect!”
Ashley had to agree.
“That dress was made for you! Made for you! Come show your friends this minute!”
Ashley glided out of the dressing room down the corridor as if on a bed of flowers.
Jessica, Heather and Shane stood up at the same moment as Ashley entered, as if they were at the coronation of a Queen.
“Oh, oh,” they echoed one another.
“Incredible, gorgeous,” breathed Shane.
“That dress, that dress,” Heather could hardly say another word.
“You found it! You found it! Jessica agreed.
“This is your time, Ashley,” Shane insisted, “everything is just falling in your lap.”
*
It was difficult taking the dress off, letting it go back onto the rack to be tried on by another woman.
“What are we going to do about this?” the woman asked, as Ashley reluctantly handed the dress back to her.
“We’re going to put it on hold,” Jessica suddenly popped in to the dressing room. “You can’t let that dress go, Ashley. It’s beautiful, it fits you perfectly! It hardly needs any adjusting at all!”
Ashley started to tremble. She actually did want to keep it, hated the thought of letting it go.
“Would you like to leave a deposit on it?” the woman asked Ashley.
“Definitely,” Jessica interrupted once again, whipping out her credit card. “Take this card and hold the dress.”
The woman looked back and forth between Ashley and Jessica qu
ickly.
“It’s okay,” Jessica reassured her, “just do it.”
The woman left and Ashley sat down on the seat as if the wind had been knocked out of her sails.
“Be happy, be happy,” Jessica tried to cheer her. “Your father will cover the cost, I’m sure. There’s nothing to worry about. You found your perfect dress right away! The two of you were made for each other. There’s no way you can let it go.”
CHAPTER 13
The four of them walked out of Deidres into the spring evening, talking nonstop about Ashley’s dress, how beautiful it was and how amazing that she’d found it so quickly.
“It was just sitting there waiting for you,” Heather couldn’t get over it.
“It’s a good sign,” said Shane, “a wonderful portent.”
Jessica had made a reservation for dinner, across the street at Louie’s steakhouse, so they could all sit down, celebrate, and talk. Ashley was desperate to get away from them all, but there was no way she couldn’t join in.
Louie’s steakhouse was a well-known, expensive restaurant, with big round tables covered with checked table cloths, a large bar, and stained glass chandeliers in assorted colors. As they walked in, the place was filling up with people both at the tables and the bar, stopping by for drinks. This place was a longtime favorite of Ashley’s and Jessica knew that well.
A table was waiting for them in the front and they were seated immediately and ordered a bottle of red wine, along with steaks and house salad.
“I can’t tell you how beautiful you looked in that dress,” Shane kept saying to Ashley.
Ashley couldn’t bear thinking about it at the moment. Was it possible that she’d just bought a wedding dress? There was no way she could have done that, but also, there was no way she could let that beautiful, elegant, satin dress go. It belonged to her, made her feel cared for, and she realized it the first moment she put it on.
“I can’t tell you how excited I am for you,” Shane continued.
“I’m excited for your party, this weekend, too,” Ashley replied, eager to get the attention off herself and onto Shane. “We all should celebrate your engagement tonight as well.”
“We’ll be celebrating at the pre-engagement party luncheon on Sunday,” said Shane lightly.
Ashley hadn’t realized it was a pre-engagement party luncheon. There were so many parties, dinners and gatherings that went along with planning a wedding, so many people to introduce and plans to be made that it made her head spin.
“Whoever thought we’d be engaged at the same time?” Shane was bubbly. “It’s fabulous, isn’t it? Only I’m not getting married as fast as you. No one I know ever got married that fast, ever! You’re setting a record.”
They all laughed, but Ashley couldn’t join in. And, when Jessica looked over at her, she stopped smiling, too.
“You’re really not yourself,” Jessica said.
“Of course, she’s not herself,” Heather broke in delighted, “Ashley’s about to become someone new. She’ll soon be Mrs. - -?” The three of them zeroed in, waiting for Ashley to fill in his name.
Ashley said nothing.
“Tell them Mrs. Who!” Jessica said bluntly.
Oh God, Ashley remembered the name Ray had told Jessica at Crystals.
“Tell us,” Heather chimed in. “What’s his name? What does he look like? How did you meet him? We’re dying to hear!”
“His name is Gideon Tallon,” Ashley blurted out.
“Who????” all three of them made strange faces.
Ashley felt trapped. She had no choice but to repeat that name now.
“Gideon Tallon,” she repeated calmly, as if it were the most common name in the world.
“I knew all along,” said Jessica! “But I wanted to let Ashley tell you.”
“It’s a very strange name,” said Shane. “In fact, I never heard it before. What kind of name is it?”
“Biblical,” echoed Heather, “they have Gideon Bibles, don’t they?”
“Where does he come from?” Shane insisted.
“Is that why the marriage is so fast?” Heather interrupted. “Is he some kind of religious fanatic?”
Ashley was offended. “Do you think I would marry a religious fanatic?” she asked.
“Who knows?” said Heather softly, “I know you’ve been hurt a lot in love. So maybe a deeply religious man, might stir something in you,” Heather continued, “bring you some comfort, make you feel safe?”
Thankfully, the waiter came then, brought the wine and poured them all a glass, which they lifted to Ashley, toasted to her happiness, and drank.
“Now tell us about him, really,” the girls focused in.” How come no one even barely suspected that you were in love?”
“It’s hard to talk about it exactly,” said Ashley.
“But you have to say something,” Jessica agreed.
“He’s handsome, smart, well-travelled,” Ashley yielded. “In fact, he’s traveling right now.”
“Traveling where?” asked Jessica wide eyed.
“Traveling for business,” said Ashley.
“Where?” Jessica wanted the facts.
“Right now he’s in Switzerland,” Ashley groped for ideas as she spoke.
“Switzerland? Doing what?”
“Building new companies, gathering new ideas. He’s part of a think tank.”
“My goodness,” gasped Shane! “You never went for someone like that. A super intellectual?”
“Not really,” said Ashley, defensively. “Just very smart.”
“He must have other qualities too,” Heather jumped in, “I’m guessing he’s incredibly romantic, a
fantastic lover, someone who really knows how to put on the charm! Whoever he is, he certainly knew how to lock you up, one, two, three.”
Ashley put her head down in her hands.
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” the girls closed in around her.
“It’s just so much, so fast,” Ashley whispered, as a sweat broke out over her forehead.
“Of course, we understand,” Shane consoled her. “I remember how I felt when Doug actually proposed. It was like my whole world was falling apart.”
The girls all stopped and focused on Shane. “Why?” they said.
“I always dreamt about the day Doug would ask me, but when it actually came, I felt lost.”
Ashley had always wondered about Shane’s relationship to Doug. She never thought he would actually ask Shane to marry him, always thought he was seeing her to placate his family.
“It’s a huge step,” Shane repeated.
“It’s definitely a huge step,” said Ashley, “and it’s all happening so fast for me!”
Jessica broke into the flurry “It’s happening for you at the speed of lightening, and please just tell me,” Jessica turned to Ashley, “what’s the rush?”
That was the eighty four thousand dollar question and Ashley had absolutely no answer to it. She looked up and smiled, through the fog that suddenly descended upon her.
“Why the speed?” Jessica repeated, “What’s going on?”
“It’s a long story,” Ashley said softly, “little by little you’ll understand.”
Nobody said a word for a moment. Then Heather broke the tension that was growing.
“Nobody understands anything about love,” she said happily, “who can understand why we chose who we do? I, for one, have stopped trying to figure it out, and just enjoy each new dancer that comes along.”
Nobody could say anything much after that, so Jessica returned to business.
“Well, whether or not we understand it, there’s a ton of stuff we have to do,” Jessica said, “we have to book a venue, find a photographer, choose a florist, pick the cake, check make up, hair.”
Ashley felt a rock pressing on her chest.
“We have to do wine tasting, plan the tables, work out the seating arrangements,” Heather added. “Do you happen to know how many people the groom p
lans to invite?”
“I have no idea,” Ashley murmured.
“No idea? Oh my God,” breathed Shane, “you’ve got to find out.”
“There is way more to do than any of us can handle ourselves,” Jessica continued, breathless, “we’ve got to hire a wedding planner to help us. It’ll save a huge amount of trial and error, and time!”
“Great idea,” said Heather, “in fact I know a totally great wedding planner who will work completely on commission! The woman is fantastic, full of life, really daring and if anyone can do it, she can!”
“Give me her name this second!” said Jessica.
Ashley tried to bring this all to a screeching halt. To add a wedding planner to the mix was more than she could tolerate.
“I’ll think about hiring a wedding planner,” Ashley interrupted, slamming on the brakes. “Give me time, I’ll let you know.”
“There is no time,” Jessica was irritated. “Time is something we have almost nothing of.”
“She’s absolutely right,” Shane concurred. “How else in the world are we going to pull off a wedding in six weeks?”
“I’ll think it over,” Ashley repeated more loudly, her voice getting strident, wondering how she could stand this another minute, when thankfully, the waiter came to the table and the meal was served.
The dinner was delicious, allowing them all not only to satisfy their growing hunger but to fill their mouths, stop talking and take their attention off Ashley, to let her digest not only the food but the whole horrible train of events.
Ashley knew the girls were fully expecting her to tell them more about the groom after dinner, but the moment they’d finished coffee and desert, she quickly stood up from her chair.
“I really hope you’ll all forgive me,” said Ashley, “but I have to run now. I have an early meeting at work tomorrow and there’s a lot of preparation I still have to do.”
The girls looked shocked, as if the air had been swept out of their sails. But without waiting for their permission, Ashley smiled, waved, blew each one a kiss, and quickly rushed out of the restaurant, leaving them all sitting there, slightly stunned.
*
Dazed and despondent Ashley rushed into the dark night. She felt like throwing up as she hailed a cab to get home as fast as possible. Nothing was working out as she’d planned. She felt as though