by Londyn Skye
James was damn near brought to tears by the evolution of Austin’s mind. He had to clear his throat before speaking. “I can’t say that I’m the least bit surprised by the way your life and your mindset has changed, Austin. I know all too well the effect Lily can have on a person.”
“She seems to have that powa’ ova’ everyone she meets, doesn’t she?”
“Without a doubt,” James replied. “The person she’s helped you evolve into is exactly the sort ‘a man I need on my side right now. Sounds like you’re the answa’ to my prayers, actually. If you know who or where the Ghost Rida’s are sellin’ slaves, then maybe you can help put what’s left of my family back togetha’.”
“You can trust that I’ll tell you everything I know. I want Lily back just as badly as you do. I want my little Georgia to meet the woman who inspired her middle name … the woman who inspired her pa to fight for the rights of everyone.”
“I want that too, Austin. Trust me, I do,” James said, patting him on the shoulder. “We’ll find Lily somehow. I won’t eva’ lose faith in that.”
“Neitha’ will I.”
Both men then discussed what Austin had learned and settled on a plan to enact the following night. Austin then laid down to try to get some sleep. As usual, though, James’s curious mind harassed him into reading more of Levi’s journal before allowing him to rest …
Chapter Thirteen
Slave Code
Article II Section XI
Be it enacted that every master shall provide all slaves, including the sick and the elderly, with a competent diet, yearly health examinations, and adequate clothing and lodging. Owners refusing to abide by this code are to be fined for the first and second offenses. A third offense shall result in permanent forfeiture of slaves.
Maya would be lying if she said that she did not absolutely love Levi’s comical new morning routine. His daily expression of excitement about their impending arrival was infectious and kept her fears about her baby’s unexpected conception at bay. It was a far cry from the terror she felt while concealing her condition. She never outwardly admitted how much Levi’s routine meant, but the internal serenity it brought her was something she felt her words would never do justice anyway. The smile that instantly emerged on her face when she heard Levi enter the barn on this morning was proof of how truly at peace she now was.
“How’re you feelin’?” Levi asked her, per usual.
“I’m fine,” Maya replied. Her smile broadened as Levi then knelt and rested his head against her belly.
“How about you? You behavin’ in there?” Levi asked, pausing as he pretended to listen to the baby’s reply. “I know, I know! I’m eaga’ to play with you too. But you’re just gonna have to wait! You got anotha’ two months, three weeks, and five days before you’re allowed outta there. And don’t you even think about arrivin’ any earlier than that, ya’ hear?!” As he did every morning, he kissed Maya’s stomach after his fatherly chat.
Maya always shook her head and laughed at his playful delivery day countdown.
Levi stood and smiled, always happy to start his morning with the sound of Maya’s laughter. “You need anything?” he asked, as always.
“No, thank you,” she replied.
“You sure?” Levi prodded, ready to abandon his work for any of her requests.
“I’m sure.”
“Promise me you’ll let me know if you do, okay?”
“I promise … but you’ve already given me all I could eva’ ask for,” Maya replied, touching her belly.
Her words caused Levi to reflexively caress her cheek and close his eyes to hold back an unexpected surge of tears. His body electrified with warmth as soon as his skin connected with hers. He opened his eyes in time to see Maya’s flutter close as she melted into his gentle touch. The surge of warmth running through her gave away how much she had missed his affection. Despite the unrelenting urge to press his lips against Maya’s in that moment, Levi found the strength to refrain. “Well, know that I’m always here if eva’ you need anything else, okay?” he said.
Maya looked into his eyes and quietly nodded.
After depriving himself of Maya for so long, Levi was happy that the baby gave him an excuse to touch her again in some limited capacity. But this morning, it damn near took an act of God to ignore his burning desire to touch her in more passionate ways, especially with the way she now gazed at him with her beautiful doe-like eyes. He quietly gazed at her in return with genuine appreciation dancing in his eyes. He then gently brushed the back of his hand along her cheek before forcing himself to walk away to start his duties.
But even an act of God could not stop Levi from secretly buying every baby item he laid his eyes on. As the weeks rolled by, baby blankets, yarn, cloth diapers, rattles, and baby clothes always seemed to mysteriously appear in Maya’s cottage. Unbeknownst to Maya, Levi had spent his late-night hours secretly working away at his final two gifts. Two weeks before her due date, she walked into her room and found a rocking chair and a crib, both with bows on them. Her tears pelted the railings of the crib as she ran her hand along the place her baby’s loving father had handmade for her to sleep. Levi’s beautiful morning routine, his expressions of love, and all his precious gifts indeed made Maya feel as though she already had it all. Her eyes full of tears, she sat down in the rocking chair and cursed herself for ever believing that an incredible man like Levi Collins would ever have expressed anything less than extreme love for the life they had created together.
****
The night before the predicted due date of Levi’s countdown, he was barely able to sleep. Before dawn, he sprang out of bed and skipped breakfast. Like a child on Christmas morning dashing to the tree, he hurried into the barn as if his gift would somehow be there magically waiting for him. Maya was already there, standing with her back to him near a horse stall. Instead of a baby, though, she only held her aching pregnant back. Levi quietly approached her. “How’re you feelin’?” he asked, per usual. When Maya turned around, the color drained from his face.
For two days, Maya had not been feeling well, but she had pushed herself to carry on with her duties as usual. Her fever had suddenly spiked the night before, though, making her short trek to the barn feel like a voyage up Mount Everest. “I’m fine,” Maya forced herself to reply to Levi per usual, her breaths coming in short pants after using what remained of her energy to speak.
“My God, Maya, you’re nowhere near fine,” Levi replied, his heart plummeting over the way she seemed to be deteriorating right before his eyes.
Suddenly quivering with tears welling in her eyes, Maya dropped to a knee when intense pain exploded near her pelvis. Just after midnight, her labor pains had begun coming on and off like clockwork. The onset of illness, fever, and mounting excruciating pain had now nearly crippled her. Levi scooped her up before she fell over. He quickly carried her across the field back to her cottage and frantically yelled for help from another female slave. As Nora dashed into the room to help, Levi slowly stepped backward out of the cottage in a daze. Realizing that he was partially responsible for Maya’s current torture had him on the verge of vomiting. He had looked forward to this day, but was now dreading the way in which Maya would have to suffer prior to the most joyous moment of his life.
Knowing that Maya’s pain was a natural part of the birthing process, Levi tried to get some work done in the barn to distract himself. His efforts were in vain, though. Maya was constantly bombarding his mind. His constant worry over her well-being robbed him of the ability to concentrate. He could not get through five minutes of work without nearly losing control over his emotions, and his stomach for that matter. He had never been so overwhelmed by anxiousness and worry while waiting for his other children to arrive. His genuine love for Maya seemed to cause the stark contrast.
After an hour of trying to work, Levi finally abandoned his duties altogether and left the barn. As he stepped closer to Maya’s cottage, a sudden shrill pierce
d his ears. He froze, snatched his hat off, tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and said a brief prayer. When he opened his eyes again, they were full of tears. He began pacing outside of Maya’s cottage, straight-faced and nervous, feeling it deep in his gut every time he heard Maya screaming in agony. As he marched back and forth, wearing a hole in the ground, he continuously asked God to end Maya’s suffering as quickly as possible. While in the midst of praying, it seemed that God had answered. After a half hour, Levi suddenly halted his incessant pacing. His heart nearly leapt out of his chest as he quickly swiveled his head toward the sound of angelic cries.
A wave of euphoria hit Levi that propelled his legs toward the front door of Maya’s cottage. He opened the door, but his shaky knees caused him to stumble slightly while trying to step over the threshold. He caught himself before his jittery body hit the floor. He stood tall then exhaled sharply, but it did nothing to untie the knots in his stomach nor to calm his racing mind. Stepping slowly on wobbly knees, he slowly entered the room where his latest arrival lay wrapped up, already nestled in her mother’s arms. As he approached, he could not pull his eyes away from Maya. Despite the effects of exhausting labor, she somehow had never looked more beautiful to him than in that moment. With an erratic heart and a lump in his throat, Levi cautiously approached and stood towering over Maya, finally getting a peek at the life he had helped create. He could not seem to remember how to speak at first but cleared his throat and said the first thing that came to his mind. “Is he alright?”
“She,” Maya corrected, keeping her eyes pasted on the baby that she had instantaneously fallen in love with.
Levi’s smile broadened. “A girl?” he responded in happy disbelief. He squatted down to get a better look, the beautiful sight stirring his tears. “I finally got myself a little girl,” he whispered, pure joy in his tone. “I can hardly believe it.”
“Yes, I’m sorry to say that she’s broken your streak,” Maya replied, extreme exhaustion evident in her faint words.
“That’s nothin’ to be sorry about. It’s reason to celebrate,” Levi sincerely replied. He then reached his arms out toward Maya, eager to hold his first daughter. His excitement dissipated and immediate hurt set in when Maya flinched and pulled the baby in closer to her. Her motherly instincts were already overpowering her. Suddenly, she questioned whether she should trust Levi.
Maya’s reaction surprised Levi, but after the way he had sold other slave children, he understood why she had suddenly become so protective. But it hurt him, nonetheless. “Maya, I swear I would neva’ hurt her,” he whispered.
The weeping sound in Levi’s voice stole the attention Maya was giving her baby. She looked up at Levi and saw in his eyes how her refusal had genuinely hurt him.
“Please?” he begged.
Maya searched Levi’s eyes for reassurance that her daughter would be returned to her. Seeing the tears brimming in his eyes, she suddenly cursed herself for thinking, even for a second, that he would ever do anything to harm her. With that, she carefully handed him his newborn.
Cautiously, Levi gathered his very first daughter into his arms. Through half-lowered eyelids, Maya watched as tears cascaded down his cheeks, rolling by the genuine, loving smile on his face. “You’re as pale as a Lily…” Levi said, kissing the baby’s forehead. “And just as beautiful,” Maya heard him whisper before the illness that had invaded her body began to take a serious toll. While Levi’s attention was on the gift that Maya had delivered for him, she lost consciousness and slowly slumped over.
*****
June 1st, 1835,
Today, the love of my life gave me the most sacred gift any man could ever ask for … my very first baby girl. She came into the world at 8:45 this morning. I've dreamt a long time about this moment, but by God, the feeling of holding my daughter for the very first time shattered every last one of my expectations. I knew I'd probably shed a tear, but I was not expecting the sea of joyous emotions streaming nonstop from my eyes. I knew I would smile, but I wasn't aware that this smile would not fade for hours. I smile now as I glance down at her nestled in my arms. I can’t even bring myself to put her down as I write this. I feel my tears brewing once again, simply glancing down at this little miracle sleeping peacefully in my arms, looking to me like the most precious little angel. I can hardly believe I had anything to do with creating something so perfect. I may not know her name yet, but I can say with confidence that this precious little girl is not just a part of my heart … she is my heart. And so is her mother. Maya is dreadfully ill at this very hour. Half of my heart will be forever shattered if she slips away from my world permanently. I pray now that God brings her back to me and our beautiful little creation.
*****
For the fourth straight day following that journal entry, Levi knelt at Maya’s bedside at midnight, holding one of her limp hands in both of his. He had his eyes closed and his head bowed, begging God to heal her. Since giving birth, Maya had been in and out of consciousness. An extremely high fever had her babbling incoherently and hallucinating to the point that she could not decipher dreams from reality. Her odd illness kept her from eating and drinking enough to sustain her own life, let alone a baby’s. Levi, therefore, asked Nora for her help again. She had, fortunately, given birth several months before Maya. Nora happily took over nursing and caring for the baby while Maya was sick.
Despite the baby being well taken care of, Levi was still emotionally unsettled. He worried about Maya around the clock, so much so that he had literally scraped together change to pay a doctor to stop by and treat her. Despite the medication the doctor administered, Maya’s prognosis remained grim. She still laid there all day looking like a breathing corpse. The lack of answers and remedies to her bizarre ailment left Levi feeling frustrated and helpless. After four days with no change in her symptoms, his hope was now fading as well. The possibility that his daughter might grow up without her mother began to slowly creep into his spinning mind. The mere thought of losing the woman that had brought so much joy into his life had Levi unable to eat or sleep. Levi had snuck out of his house every night and spent those sleepless hours at Maya’s bedside, his eyes closed and his head bowed, tearfully begging God for another miracle.
After his prayers on this evening, Levi sat next to Maya dabbing a cool cloth on her chest and forehead. “I need you to get well. We got ourselves a beautiful little girl who’s eaga’ to get to know her mama,” he whispered. Levi suddenly turned his head toward the door when he heard the baby crying in the other room. He turned back to look at Maya. “See, I told ya’. She’s cryin’ for you now,” he teased, kissing her on the cheek before heading into the room where the baby was.
“Hey, my little Lily, what’s all that fussin’ about?” Levi playfully asked, caressing her head.
“I done fed ’er and cleaned ’er up already. Don’t know why she’s so fussy tonight,” Nora explained, swaying the baby in her arms.
Levi took the baby into his arms and kissed her. Her fussing immediately transitioned into soft coos.
Nora smiled. “I guess you were all she needed.” She caressed the baby’s cheek. “She must ‘a just been missin’ you.”
“I missed her too,” Levi smiled, kissing the baby on the cheek again. “You can go and get some sleep for a little while. I’ll keep watch ova’ her for now.”
“Alright,” Nora replied. “Wake me if ya’ think she needs anotha’ feedin’.”
“Will do.”
Nora nodded and turned to go lie back down.
“And Nora…”
“Yessa’,” she replied, turning back around.
Levi swallowed hard before saying what was on his mind. Her two oldest sons were among the three children he had sold years prior. He knew she had every right to spitefully abandon his newborn, but she had graciously stepped in without expressing an ounce of resentment. “You owe me no kindness … not an ounce. I’m very aware of that. So, I just wanted to say thank you so much for bein�
�� willin’ to take such good care of the baby, despite my transgressions against you. I’m foreva’ indebted to you for keepin’ her alive and thrivin’.”
“No, you’re not. It’s my pleasure. No matta’ your transgressions, I’d’ve neva’ had the heart to sit by and watch that precious baby die.”
“Well, I still want you to know how grateful I am. Your kindness will neva’ be forgotten.”
“Thank you,” Nora nodded, genuinely feeling moved by his gratitude.
Levi turned to leave but turned back around when Nora called out to him again.
“Despite the past, I-I just want you to know that I’ve always believed you were a good man,” she nervously confessed. “You just have the misfortune of bein’ in a world that ain’t worthy of a man like you.”
Unexpected tears began to christen the newborn in Levi’s arms. “And I’m certainly not worthy of your words. But they mean more to me than you’ll eva’ know.”
Nora nodded and turned to go lay down.
Levi closed Nora’s door and turned his attention back to the baby. He walked carefully with her back into Maya’s room and shut the door. “You’re worried about your mama too, aren’t ya’? Is that why you up fussin’ this time ‘a night? I know you’d ratha’ be in your mama’s arms. But don’t you worry. You’ll be back in her arms again soon,” he said, looking down at Maya as she lay there looking lifeless. “At least that’s what I’ve been prayin’ for.”
On cue, the baby started to fuss again as if she was saying that soon was still not fast enough.
“Shh,” Levi said, trying to settle her again. He pulled the rocking chair next to Maya’s bed and sat down with the baby. He opened all the buttons on his pajama shirt, removed the baby’s blanket, laid her against his bare chest, and placed the blanket back over the top of her. Her fussing immediately ceased the moment she felt her father’s skin against hers. She melted into his warmth, snuggled close to the rhythmic thumping of his heart, and her rigid body instantly relaxed. Levi closed his eyes and melted too, feeling the love for his daughter grow just by the simple pleasure of being so close to her. He began rocking slowly, humming his favorite melody as of late, while caressing her back. When he felt her body grow heavy, he slowly tried to get up to take her back into Nora’s room, but the baby shifted her head. She woke up just long enough to grasp her father’s finger tight with her tiny hand. It felt to Levi as if she was begging him to stay there with her. He happily granted her wish. He kissed her head, sat back down, and rocked her and himself to sleep.