"This is your fault. You swore you wouldn't take his power and you did it anyway!"
Suzume stared back at her without seeing. I killed him?
As Ai tried to wrestle her way free of Noaki, Tsuki and Makato joined in, grabbing a hold of her and pulling her away from Suzume. Tsuki wrapped Ai up in his arms and she beat tiny fists against his chest. In the process, she dropped the pearl. It rolled on the ground, stopping a few feet from Suzume who squatted down to pick it up. It was cold to the touch and perhaps the size of the tip of her pinky finger.
"He's yokai. He should be able to reform," Rin said as she placed herself in front of Suzume, making an additional barrier between the angry yokai and the priestess.
"Not now, not anymore!" Ai screamed. Tears were running down her face but she sagged against Tsuki's embrace, small hands clutching at his haori. "Ai is all that remains now. They're all gone."
Makato approached Suzume, holding out his hand for the teardrop-shaped pearl. "May I?" he asked her.
Suzume clutched the pearl to her heart, reluctant to let it go. Strangely, no matter how long she held onto it or how tight, it remained ice cold.
"Just for a moment," Makato said coaxing, Suzume to cooperate.
With reluctance, Suzume opened her hand to reveal the stone within. Makato did not try to take it from her, but examined it while tilting his head from side to side, a frown on his face.
Then he turned to Akira who had taken control of the body she shared with Tsuki. She and Ai had sunk to the floor and Ai rested her head in Akira's lap as she stroked her hair. The little yokai sniffled, tears still running down her face. "In the legends, the dragons were formed from the teardrops of a goddess. Is that true?"
Akira shrugged. "That was before my time."
Noaki stared at the teardrop. "It is true. The Lord of the Sea created them from the teardrops of the Lady of the Moon. They were her bitter tears of imprisonment."
"Is this one of the teardrops?" Akira asked, looking down at Ai as she stroked her hair in a motherly fashion.
Ai gave another loud sniffle. "He has returned to the teardrop he came from. Nothing can bring him back but the Lord of the Sea's power." She sobbed loudly and buried her face in Akira's lap.
Suzume closed her hand around the teardrop, all that remained of Kaito was in this. "The dragon's essence remains, though it is faint. I can reverse the seal which kept him from taking back his energy. But..."
"Don't waste your time," Ai spat as she lifted her head to glare at Suzume.
Makato bowed his head in shame. Rin came over and placed her hand on his shoulder. "We have to try," she said.
They shared a look, a silent exchange only they could decipher. "This is my fault. I will try to make it right." Makato lifted his head up to face everyone in the room.
Ai's tiny fists were clutching the front of her kimono and tears stained her cheeks as she sat up. She looked very much like a hurt child in that moment. Lost and alone. She cried, "A half-yokai would never have enough power to reverse this spell."
"You're right. I can't do it alone." Makato knelt down so he was at eye level with Ai. "Will you help me?" He held his hand out for her.
She glared at his offered hand. "Why would I trust you? You're just like her. You'll only hurt him." Ai jutted her chin in Suzume's direction. Suzume felt too numb to even argue. She clutched the pearl tighter in her hand as if keeping it close to her would somehow reverse what she had done.
Makato glanced in Suzume's direction before returning his attention to Ai. "Because I want to save him as much as you do."
"What do we have to do?" she said, her voice small and cautious.
Makato smiled and then tussled Ai's hair. "I'll need a few things."
It turned out all that was needed was charcoal and a bowl of water. Suzume hovered nearby, full of cautious hope, as Makato drew a complicated circle on the ground. The strange markings, while foreign, seemed intimately familiar to her. It surrounded the ice pool. Once the circle was done, he placed the bowl of water on the outermost circle.
And then he came for the pearl. As he approached her, she clung to it tighter, not wanting to let it go. Makato stood in front of her, meeting her eyes. Suzume looked down at her hand and slowly uncurled her fingers, before titling it into Makato's awaiting grasp. Makato carried the pearl ceremoniously in front of him. Ai was already wading in the ice pool, the water up to her ankles. Makato carried the pearl over to the pool of water and placed it into Ai's awaiting cupped hands. Very carefully, Ai transported it into the center of the frozen pool. Makato stood in line with the bowl and Ai in front of him, making a line to the center.
Ai held the pearl above her head as the level of the water reached her neck. Once she'd gone as deep as she could, Makato lifted his hands to the heavens and a song flowed out of him. The song of unbinding, the same Suzume had learned from Hisato's memories — or perhaps they had been Kazue's. The hairs on the back of Suzume's neck stood on end. She could feel the power coursing around her, like the torrent of a river. The power was a temptation, one she could not resist. If she closed her eyes she could take that power for herself and become stronger with it. The very thought terrified her.
The urge was so strong she had to leave the room or risk doing more harm in the process. Suzume wandered away from the spring pools, up the stairs, and out into the courtyard. There she plopped down onto the steps which led into the palace and dropped her head into her hands. But the memory of that desire remained. All of this had happened because of her thirst for power. Even now she felt like a slimy eel was writhing around inside her gut. He is going to recover. He has to.
Some time passed; it felt like an eternity but perhaps it had only been a few minutes. Either way when she heard footsteps falling on the landing behind her, she did not even lift her head to see who it was. She couldn't face the truth, whatever it might be.
"I've broken the seal," Makato said.
"Good." Her voice was thick with emotion. She exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Not wanting Makato to see her in such a vulnerable position she stood up, intent on running away. It was what she was best at. But Makato grabbed her by her bicep and kept her from leaving.
"There's more we need to talk about," he said.
When he touched her she felt the draw to take power from him, to use it to her own ends, to awaken the flame. She wrenched her arm away from him and started down the hall. "I'm not in the mood."
"It's about your father... the emperor."
Suzume's footsteps faltered. Since Daiki had first taunted her with the idea she'd been running away from the truth. She refused to confront it. But there was no use running anymore.
"Then what Hisato said was true?" she asked, keeping her back to him.
"Yes." He exhaled the word.
Suzume nodded her head. "Then that's all I need to know."
She took a few more steps and then he shouted, "Wait."
"I don't blame you for what you did." Because I did worse.
"There's more. You heard what Ai said. I am not human. I'm a half yokai, a hanyou."
"So what?" She didn't care if it sounded harsh. She was ready for this conversation to end. She didn't even have the courage to look Kaito in the face to confront what she had done.
Makato ran his hand through his hair. "Kazue's soul was fused with mine. But we remain separate. You were born this way, you—"
Suzume turned around to face him. "Kazue wants to take over my body, I already know that."
Makato bowed his head, listening to her chastisement. "I don't think who we are is an accident," he said, then he raised his eyes to meet hers.
"So?" she asked, her words like the crack of a whip.
"I think someone is trying to bring back Kazue from the dead."
Suzume gave a bitter laugh and shook her head. "Do you think I care about that? I'm done with Kazue, her quest, and every other way she ruined my life." She turned to storm away.
"T
he dragon's not improving," he said, stopping her in her tracks once more.
She balled her hands into fists at her side. Already she could feel the fire welling up inside her, threatening to take control once more. But if she did that, then she would really lose Kaito. Maybe I have already.
"I don't think he can recover on his own. He's lost too much of his energy," Makato continued.
"Then what do we do?" she asked, but her voice came out barely above a whisper.
"I think it's time to let him go," Makato said, reaching out most likely intent on comforting her.
Suzume knocked his hand away and took a step back. Her eyes narrowed as they darted across his face. "Are you saying I should just let him die?"
"He's already gone, Suzume. This is why you were sent to the shrine, not to free him but destroy him."
"You're wrong," she shouted as she stomped her feet. She knew she was acting like a child and she didn't care. She knew he was right, their powers had always been in conflict from the moment they met. And whether it was some plot by unknown figures or destiny's design, she didn't want to believe it.
Makato shook his head as he looked down at his feet. "I feared this," he said under his breath.
"Feared what?" She glared at him tossing her head. She could put up a strong front but on the inside, she was terrified.
He jabbed a finger in her direction. "You're falling in love with him."
Suzume balked at the notion as she shook her head. "I am not in love with him."
It was Makato's turn to shake his head. "Everyone can see. It's written on your face."
"That's not true."
"Then why risk your own life for him?" he said, his voice raised.
Suzume only shouted back, "Because this was my fault!"
Her words echoed back at her. It was the first time she had said it out loud. They all thought it, she knew. But no one had the guts to say it. Makato wouldn't look her in the eye, only confirming her suspicion. He ran his hands through his hair as he sighed.
"Believe me, I know what you're going through."
Suzume scoffed. "I doubt it."
"I betrayed the woman I love because I thought that was the best way to protect her. But I only put her in greater danger."
Suzume crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from him, not willing to admit he had a point. "You didn't sentence Rin to do death though."
Makato sighed again. "I don't want to let him go either. The part of me that's Kazue cannot bear to see him like this. But I also know we cannot keep waiting for a miracle."
Suzume balled her hands into fists so hard her nails broke the skin of her palms. "This can't be it. There has to be something we can do."
There was a long stretch of silence, where she expected Makato would tell her that there was no hope left. But he made no such denials.
She turned to look at him, sudden hope blooming within her. "Is there a way?"
Makato turned his shoulder to her as if he would walk away without answering, but she grabbed him and forced him to face her. "You have to tell me."
"It's dangerous, and there's no guarantee it's going to work..."
"What is it?"
He looked anywhere but at her. "We have to take the energy you took and put it back inside him."
"Then let's do it."
"It's not that simple."
"What, are you afraid I'll hurt him again?"
"Not you, Kazue."
She thought once more to the warnings she had received about how her power would consume her and of Hisato's taunts that Kazue's soul was what had been protecting her all this time. When Hisato had tried to kill her, Kazue stopped him. There was no guarantee this would work and even if it did, it might kill her in the process. But if she didn't do this Kaito would die.
"We have to try," Suzume said.
46
They returned to the spring room. Rin stood by one of the pools, staring into the water. Noaki was leaning against the far wall, while Akira and Ai were speaking together in low tones. Akira was still stroking the back of the child-like yokai. When Makato and Suzume entered everyone looked in their direction.
"How dare you come back here," Ai hissed.
"There's one more thing we'd like to try," Makato said, holding his hand up to stop Ai from shouting more obscenities at Suzume.
Ai glared but made no comment.
"We're going to try a ceremony to bring Kaito back, but it requires a lot of power. I will need representatives for air and water in addition to Suzume's fire and my earth.
"I will stand in for air." Noaki stood up, hands crossed over his chest.
Suzume could not look him in the eye. She didn't deserve his help.
Makato looked to Ai who was standing back, arms crossed over her chest.
"This will not work," she snarled.
"We have to try at least," Makato said, pleading with her.
"How do we know Suzume won't drain us all of our spiritual power?" She nodded toward Suzume.
"She won't," Makato said in a tone that left no room for argument. "We do this now or lose the dragon."
Ai scoffed but made no further protests.
"Everyone join hands," Makato said, pulling everyone into the circle he'd drawn on the floor. Suzume could see the pearl floating on the surface of the ice pool. It glimmered faintly, as if the small spark of Kaito's life remained within it.
Everyone joined hands. Only Suzume hesitated. Even before any spells were invoked, she felt the draw to take the power. She had already stolen from all of them, it would not be difficult to do it again. The pathways were made. Suzume stared at her hands, afraid of the power she had no control over. Power that had already hurt so many.
"Suzume?" Makato said, drawing her attention.
Suzume shook her head. "You'll have to find another fire." Suzume turned and ran from the room. She ran as far as she could without leaving the palace. In the end she ran all the way to the courtyard and through the torii arch she had gone through to fight the umi-bozu. She kept going until she was lost in the mist, unsure where she came from or where she was going. She sunk down. I can't do this. All I am good for is destroying. She pressed her forehead against her knees.
"What is it that you’re afraid of?"
Her head snapped up. She had not even heard him follow her. "I'm not afraid of anything." She glared at Noaki.
"Then why can't you be the fire?" he asked her. There was no judgment in his expression, just an honest question.
It was a loaded question all the same: on one hand she could expose herself and her fear to another person and on the other hand if she lied and said she could not do it, he would see right through her.
"I can't do it. I never had power of my own. All I've done it take from others," she said, her voice hardly above a whisper.
"That is the nature of fire. It cannot exist without consuming others. It needs both air and wood to form. But it also creates heat, for warmth, for food, and for protection..."
She scoffed. "And it destroys those things to give that."
"In life we must give up one thing to receive another. Alone fire can be destructive, but when it works with the other elements it can create too. A pot cannot be made without being forged in flames. New trees cannot grow without the old dead being burned away."
"What if I can't control it? What if I hurt more people?" Suzume asked in a whisper. She'd never exposed these fears to anyone. But here in fog-shrouded from anyone's face, she felt she could speak her fears.
"I won't let you."
She snorted in disbelief. "No one has been able to stop me before."
"And you've never learned to trust before."
Suzume stared at the ground for a moment. She'd never been this raw in front of anyone else before but Noaki had a way of bringing these things out of her.
"Why should I trust you?"
"Because I have faith in you."
She turned around to face him and saw he carried
none of his usual weapons. His expression was blank as usual but she saw a hint of openness there.
"Why? What have I done to earn that?"
"You're different. And you're trying to do better."
Suzume looked away once more. The fear of her power was real and palpable, but maybe if she could lean on someone else for once, perhaps she could balance the excess of fire in her soul.
She stood up. "Let's go."
The two of them returned to the spring room, where the others were still gathered around the frozen pool. When Suzume entered, Ai rolled her eyes. Suzume marched past her, ignoring the look she gave her.
Suzume resumed her position. Makato looked at her giving her a 'are you ready' look. She nodded her head in response. He held out his hand to her and Suzume took a deep breath before grabbing onto his and Noaki's hands. The moment their hands touched she felt their energy spark against hers.
Makato started to sing and as he did the feeling only intensified. Energy flowed through the four of them, collecting in Suzume. It pressed down upon her chest and made it difficult to breathe. Something deep inside her slithered and moved about in her stomach. It wanted that power for itself, it wanted to drain the three others to make itself even more powerful. But before she could give in to the feeling she was filled with reassurance, the earth of Makato's soul was fuel for her flame, and the air built it bigger, but water dampened it before it could grow out of control. The four elements were in harmony. She was not just destruction but part of a greater whole. The balance of life.
Ai joined Makato's song, making their combined power greater, and then Noaki joined. Suzume should have joined them last but her throat felt dry and the words would not come. As their spiritual energy passed through her getting stronger through their connection so too did the feeling of unease grow inside her. She was terrified of what she might unleash by accident. The others continued the song, the power was growing stronger and building between the four of them. She felt it coursing through her veins using her as a conduit. The song fell over the pearl Kaito was trapped in.
The Sea Stone Page 34