Rin grabbed onto Kaito's arm as Makato sputtered for breath. His face was turning red and purple. He would watch the life drain out of him.
"Let him explain himself, please," Rin pleaded. But he did not hear her pleas. He would destroy the priest. He had sealed his power and then he had put him in stone; there was nothing else that needed to be explained.
"Stop!" Suzume shouted.
Kaito turned toward her, his grip relaxing only slightly on Makato's neck.
"You're defending him?" he growled.
"He had to do it."
Kaito laughed. "So I should just forgive him because he had a good reason?"
"He did it for me," Rin said, yanking on his arm again.
Kaito lowered him to the ground. Makato fell to his knees, gasping for breath. He looked at the three of them, arms crossed, waiting for an explanation. Not that there was anything they could say to change his mind.
"Master," Rin fell onto the ground in a deep bow, head almost pressed to the ground. Makato followed suit. Only Suzume remained standing, stubbornly glaring at him. "If you must punish someone, punish me. It is my fault he got mixed up in any of this."
"Rin had nothing to do with this. I'm the one who made a deal with Hisato."
He looked between the two of them, hand raised ready to strike them both. Rin raised her eyes to him.
"I told you not to be a fool," he growled.
"This is my husband, what other choice did I have?"
Kaito lowered his arm to his side. As much as he wanted to be angry at her, he couldn't. Because when it came down to it, he would have done the same. Even now, knowing Kazue was inside Makato kept him from killing the man.
"Leave."
"Master?" Rin said.
"You heard me! Go."
"What are you doing?" Suzume interjected, coming to stand in front of the pair of them. "He saved your life."
"After he tried to kill me. I cannot trust him, he has to leave."
"You're being unreasonable."
"Do not argue with me," he roared.
Rin stood up to face him, hurt and anger in her expression. "If he goes then I go too."
"Then go. Take your priest and leave my sight. I never want to see you again."
Rin glared back at him. They'd been friends for a very long time and perhaps she knew him better than anyone else. But he knew she would betray him again, and he couldn't leave himself vulnerable as he had been.
48
Before Makato and Rin were to leave Makato asked to speak with Suzume. She'd tried convincing Kaito to let them stay but he wouldn't see reason. When she arrived at Rin and Makato's room, she knocked on the door and was ushered in from within. He and Rin were packing their bags. But when she entered Makato stood up to greet Suzume and offered her a seat.
Sitting down across from him, Suzume looked around the room. They had only just started to scratch the surface on what it meant to be part of Kazue and she didn't want to see him go. But she couldn't see another way to keep the group together.
"What did you want to talk about?" Suzume asked after a long awkward silence.
"I want you to come with Rin and me."
"Why?" Suzume sat up straighter, brows furrowed in confusion.
"There is more to what we are that we've yet to discover. Rin and I are going to the White Palace to search for answers and I want you to join us."
Home. To the White Palace. A part of her had given up on the idea of ever returning there.
"But the others..."
"Akira, Tsuki, and Noaki will follow you anywhere. But the dragon..."
It shouldn't matter if she left Kaito behind, all he did was irritate her. And now that he was healed it wasn't like he needed her.
"He won't let me go." The dragon would follow her to the ends of the earth she suspected.
"And that's the problem," Makato said with a sigh.
"What do you mean?"
"You asked me to save his life once. Well now I'm asking you the same. You cannot stay with him and have him live. Because you've taken his energy you're bound together. What if you lose control and..."
"I can learn to control it," Suzume said, though she didn't feel confident on that score.
"It's more than that," Rin interjected. "The dragon cannot separate the past from the present. And the more confused he gets, the worse it will be for the both of you."
Suzume scoffed. "It's not like he's in love with me."
Makato gave her a small smile and Rin shook her head.
"I don't have those kinds of feelings for him either."
They both just looked at her as if they thought she was a liar, or maybe they knew how she felt. Rin had waited for Hikaru's reincarnation and Makato had a piece of Kazue's soul within them. If anyone understood the complicated brew of emotions inside her right now, it was them. These foreign feelings were confusing her, clouding her judgment. Ever since she had slept in his bed with him her head had felt fuzzy and confused. As if she couldn't untangle her own thoughts. Kazue was the one who loved Kaito, not her. Suzume's only priorities should be herself, protecting herself from Hisato, and living to see another day. Kaito didn't factor into the equation.
"If we can find out why we are like this, then perhaps we can reverse it," Makato said, changing the subject.
More than anything she wanted to be free of Kazue's curse. And not long ago she had dreamed of nothing more than going back to the White Palace. But knowing what she did now, she wasn't sure she could return. She was different, and the palace was a different place than she thought it was.
"There you are," Kaito said as he threw open the door to the room. But when he looked at Rin and Makato, his expression changed.
Suzume leaped up as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have, which of course she hadn't. Kaito had no say over who she spent time with or how she lived her life. Makato placed himself between Suzume and the dragon.
"What's going on here?" Kaito asked with narrowed eyes.
"It's none of your business," Suzume snapped back at him.
"I've asked Suzume to leave with me and Rin."
Ice frosted over Kaito's gaze. "Do not test me, priest."
Rin stood up, putting herself between Makato and the dragon. "It is her decision."
The dragon's eyes narrowed further as he glared at the kitsune.
"She's right. It is my decision," Suzume interjected defiantly.
Kaito's head swiveled in her direction. "Is that what you want? To leave?" there was a note of something in his voice. Something that terrified her.
Not wanting him to see the fear in her, she glared back at him. "What if I do?"
She hated the hurt she saw in his eyes. It would be so much easier if he hated her, or resented her for what she had done to him.
"I won't let you go."
Ice hung on the air and clouds of vapor rose around Suzume's head as Kaito's temper dropped the air to glacial temperatures.
Kaito grabbed a sword he wore at his belt and pointed it at Makato's throat. The tip of the blade was mere inches from piercing the skin.
"This was your plan all along. You got into her head, and now you're going to bring her to Hisato aren't you?" Kaito said in a low growl.
The priest did not deny nor try to explain. He merely said, "You know that's not true."
The dragon pressed the tip of the blade against Makato's throat and a bead of blood rose up to the skin. Another couple inches and this blade would go through his throat and end the priest's life.
Suzume placed herself between the two of them, hands outstretched. "I don't belong to you."
He growled low in his throat, his eyes trained on Makato. "Leave now, before I really lose my temper."
Makato stepped back and pressed his fingers to the cut on his throat. Rin rushed over to check on him. She looked to the dragon, trying to catch his eye but he kept his hands at his side, gaze forward, pinning Suzume in place. There was nowhere to run now. They le
ft the room, leaving Suzume and Kaito behind.
Suzume tried to follow, but the dragon grabbed her by the wrist, holding her in place. "Not you."
"Let go of me," Suzume said through gritted teeth.
"I won't let you leave. You're going to stay here at the palace. I've already spoken to Ai..."
"Stop!" Suzume held up her hands. Her anger boiling. Flames erupted along her fingers as she did so. "I'm not going to stay here like your pet?"
"How else can I protect you?" he roared.
Suzume was trembling, with anger and fear at herself. The fire was dancing along her skin again, broken free once more. There was a visible strain on Kaito's face. Though he wouldn't admit it out loud. She was still hurting him without meaning to.
"Do you think this is acceptable? How much longer before you destroy yourself or others?" He gestured toward her.
"I could learn to control it if you gave me the chance."
"I can't risk it. Not again!"
"Do you think I'm going to seal you like Kazue? Or perhaps grow mad with power? Cause I've done that already," she said, venom dripping from every word.
"That's not what I meant and you know it." His voice shook the air around them. His spiritual energy was uncoiling with his temper and pressing upon her lungs, making it difficult to breathe. It only made the fire in her grow strong, encasing her in red flame.
She gave a false laugh. "Then what is this?"
He shook his head as if this was an argument they'd had a hundred times. "Hisato is trying to use you, your power, your body."
"So you'll hide me away like Kazue? Well you can see how that turned out." She gestured between them. This whole mess had started because Kaito had fallen in love with Kazue, because he had introduced her to the world of yokai, given her a taste of immortal life. Because he hadn't respected her and she had been driven to get more power. The same way Suzume had sought his approval.
"Why do you keep putting her between us?"
"Because she'll always be there like a wedge. Don't you realize that yet? Everything comes back to her, every bad thing that happens to me is because of some divine punishment for what she did. Even your desire to protect me is because you couldn't protect her." She panted as she shouted the words that she'd been holding in for too long.
"I don't want to see you hurt and that makes me the bad guy?" His temper was rising as well, blue scales flashed along his skin, and when he spoke two large canines protruded.
"I can protect myself."
"How do you plan to protect yourself when you have no control at all?" His words felt like a slap across the face. For a moment Suzume was stunned into silence.
Then she glared at Kaito. "Do you think Hisato is going to just give up on looking for me? He's working with humans, the emperor! This isn't over just because I hide away. I need to go to the White Palace, to figure out why I am this way. To find a way to learn to control this power." She swept her arm to the side as she spoke. Her tone rose as the flames burst up along her skin.
"You don't have to do anything. The artifacts are gone — I don't need you anymore."
Suzume stared at him in stunned silence for a second. "So you'll leave me here?" she shook her head. "Everything I did was to prove to you that I'm not weak," she said in a half-strangled cry.
"Just admit you need someone to protect you," he shouted back.
And that was it. He would never see her as his equal. He was always going to think of her as a weakling. And with that she came to a decision.
"That's what you think," she said softly, almost too low to hear. She didn't want him to see the hurt in her expression that she could not hide and she tried to brush past him, fed up with this argument.
He caught her wrist and held her. She didn't try to knock his hand away because a part of her wanted him to stop her. She wanted him to tell her that he believed in her, that he supported her no matter what choice she made. That he would join her on her quest to find answers.
"I hated that I couldn't be there for you. I hated that I felt helpless and couldn't protect you," he said, his voice just a low rumble.
The gooseflesh prickled along her neck. She wanted so badly to turn around and look him in the eye, to search for even the smallest hint that the person he was talking to was her, Suzume, and not Kazue. But she was equally afraid she would turn around and only confirm that he was talking to Kazue.
"I told you before, I don't need your protection," she said, still lacking the strength to break from his grip. The fire had died away and all that remained were the smoldering embers in her gut.
"Suzume." His voice was pitched low. He so rarely used her given name that when he did it felt so much more intimate.
"What," she snarled, trying to break the spell of his voice. It's not me that's feeling this. It's Kazue. She wants to be with him not me.
"Can't you just let me protect you?"
She took a long-ragged breath. Her heart was hammering in her chest, and he likely could feel the change in her pulse just from holding onto her wrist. She wanted to pull away to deny this draw he had on her. To pretend like it was her heart yearning for him, not Kazue's influence. Falling in love was for fools. Her head knew that but her idiot heart wouldn't listen. She'd been telling herself that for years. But then why couldn't she break away from his grip? She wanted to believe he was being sincere. Stop it now before it's too late.
"Come with me to the palace," she said, her final plea. "Help me find out who I am."
It was Kaito who let go of her wrist and Suzume pressed her hand to her chest, covering her beating heart.
"Please stay," he replied.
"Then I guess this is where we part ways."
Even a couple of weeks ago she would have jumped at the chance of being kept away from the fighting, secure and protected. Free of the burden of her destiny. She no longer had the luxury of forgetting. She had this power and for good or ill, she had to learn to live with it. She walked out the door, leaving him with his back to her. She had to walk away now before it was too late.
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Excerpt The Song of the Wind
The only light was a smattering of stars across the inky black sky. Suzume's lungs burned from exertion, each breath coming out in a painful wheeze. The bamboo forest that surrounded them was growing denser, closing in on her and obscuring what little light she could see by. As they plunged deeper into the forest, the group found themselves in near impenetrable darkness. A creeping sensation persisted and sent cold shivers down her spine. She searched behind her for a pursuing yokai, but all that she could see was the faint glint of Noaki's blades. Just behind him, Tsuki flashed her a toothy smile. He would be having a good time. Suzume returned her attention to the path ahead. Her only guide was the flickering flames of Rin's multiple tails as she led them through the twisted maze of the bamboo forest.
Rin turned a corner and Suzume was left to fumble in the dark, using her hands out in front of her and what little she'd memorized of the path ahead. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled. She hadn't been imagining it—there was a powerful yokai nearby. Its spiritual pressure pressed down upon her. Her ability to sense these things was growing stronger all the time, and she could sense it as if were a scent, or as if she were touching something tangible. Neither of those senses quite described the feeling. It was much more of a queasy churning of her stomach. Gooseflesh rose all along her body, and the spark of flames traveled up her veins. It was getting closer.
A ferocious roar pierced the silent night. Suzume's head whipped around, searching for the source, but she couldn't see anything beyond the canopy of black above. The bamboo was so dense nothing should have been able to see her either. But she still got this sense of eyes watching her. She was so preoccupied that she did not notice Rin had
stopped in front of her. The priestess collided with Rin, who was in her true form of a fox with multiple flaming tales. Suzume rubbed her nose, which had smashed into the giant fox's backside.
"You could have warned me we were stopping," Suzume grumbled.
"He's getting closer," Rin said, putting a damper on any more complaints Suzume might have.
"I gathered as much."
The group fanned out around her, reaching for their weapons. Suzume clutched at her staff, palms sweaty. The fire was right there at her fingertips, ready to be unleashed to wreak havoc upon any foe. She could do this. She had done it before. But after what she had done, knowing what dwelled inside her, she held back from reaching out to it. The ground beneath Suzume's feet trembled, the vibrations traveling up her body. It was getting closer.
From out of the dark shadows, a figure dressed all in black emerged. His eyes glowed green in the darkness as he sang a song. Suzume could feel the power rising off him, igniting every cell in her body. Her throat itched to join in with him, to feel that power course through her, but she clamped her mouth shut instead and just watched Makato, or Hikaru, which was his real name.
The notes of his song faded into the night and he turned to the others. "That should give us sufficient cover for now."
"It won't last forever. We better hurry," Rin said in a rumbling voice.
They continued through the twisted maze of the bamboo forest, and the creeping sensation would not leave Suzume. Maybe it was because the nights were turning colder, but the chill continued to grow. A small spark of her flame would both warm her and give her something to see by. But with her power, it wasn't always that simple. One little spark and the next thing she knew she'd be consumed by Kazue. Instead she followed the dim light Rin emitted and rubbed her palms against her arms, trying to keep warm.
"How much farther?" Akira asked, her voice floating from somewhere in the darkness behind Suzume.
It was a disorienting feeling, being surrounded but having no real way of seeing any of them. It was as if they were all lost in darkness.
The Sea Stone Page 36